wikkid | ExpatWoman.com
 

wikkid

wikkid
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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 13:49
Youre welcome. Im not here for that much longer, but Im always happy to have a cup of coffee (and even then, I'll only be down the road in Muscat and back here pretty regularly I reckon)! Mail me on wikkid at mail dot com if you want to?
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 13:32
Nope :). Im Zimbabwean and married to one, and can vouch that Zim males are quite happy for you to do paperwork for them... :D
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 13:24
Gotta be better than my friend who was called in the see the headmaster and asked if everything was ok at home.... Her son had bumped his face on the side of the couch over the weekend and had a lovely black shiner at school the following week. When asked by his teacher what happened, he replied "My mommy hit me. With a fist." ... :D
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 13:20
We discuss it. I put forward a convincing argument to back up my opinion and DH, who prides himself on being a logical and reasonable man, can't help but agree in the face of my unquestionable rhetoric. If, for whatever reason he doesn't agree, then he has to put forward equally watertight reasons, which may see me agreeing with him, or agreeing to disagree. Having relatives come to us rather than dragging 2 small children around all over the place is a no brainer. We don't even need to have the discussion! Sounds good to me! And if that doesnt work, well, you'd be amazed what the promise of rain after a drought will do :D ETA, of course, that means you need to make the drought happen first :D :D <em>edited by wikkid on 16/01/2011</em>
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 13:08
Hello Kimora, I hope in the light of a new day that things are looking a bit more hopeful. I think that those expat wives who have not been through at least a few of the points youve made should count themselves as extremely blessed. I know we (DH and I) certainly have. And at times still do go through... The important part I find is that you approach it in a way that makes sense TO YOU. At the end of the day, your marriage is between you and your husband. I know it can be daunting when you are in a different country without the support network etc, but you really do have to grab the bull by the horns. I think if it got that bad we needed to see a counsellor, my DH would also not be too keen to convince. Can you maybe try to change those things that are within your control? For example, DH and I bought kayaks and fishing stuff, and often we head out and go fishing. Initial expense was a bit, but certainly not in the unreasonable category. We manage to get out and do some exercise, enjoy each others company, but at the same time not be "in" each others space. Maybe try to work at finding yourself some new friends, and expanding your social circle; I mean that the new friends you make will have DH as well which would open up new experiences which dont have to be expensive - a BBQ at the beach (perfect weather for it!), a round of golf with a friend's DH, a party at someone's house, camping in the desert. Its a pity that we are about to go, as I'd invite you over for dinner (but dining room is about to be packed and shipped, and DH is already in Muscat!), but so many of the people I know here Ive made friends with over a cup of coffee, through another friend, EW coffee morning etc. You have to be prepared though to actually take someone's number, and make an effort to call and get a friendship going. But it sounds like you as well as your DH could do with some variety in your life (in a nice way, please dont take that as an insult), to realise there is more out there than just work. Another description if you like, is a non-medicated approach to coming out of a funk (I know, seeing a professional is obviously the best option, but if that isnt on the cards, the next best option...) My last point that I wanted to make is one that men so often get buried in soooo deeply, they cannot see it for themselves, is that they feel that as the "provider", they need to work, work, work to make sure you have a nice life (which, dont get me wrong, is important :D), but its not as important as realising that everything in life is about balance - if you overload the scales on one side, the other side is going to be left high and dry... Its especially difficult in the economic situation we are currently facing where job security really isnt something to be taken for granted. To the men, they see this as yet another reason to burn the midnight oil, not spend any money, etc... Really try to get him out there doing something! I hope you have the opportunity to change your life around and that it works for you. As that old song says "Know when to hold them, know when to fold them." Seems to me you still have some cards in your hand. You need to have a real good go at trying to get back on track. If then it still isnt working, you need to be able to walk away with your head high and your self-worth still intact, knowing you did everything you could.x.
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 16:25
I can be *E*... Fined 800dhs for driving too fast in Sharjah at 2am on a Wednesday morning...! Never even been to anywhere in Sharjah except Bypass and Emirates Road! When I called to enquire, they confirmed it was my car, then asked what kind of car it was and what my plate number was! They said they would investigate, then called me back later and told me that yes, it was my car, but they would give me a discount of 200dhs, so "its not so bad - only 600dhs"!!!!! Ended up paying as the only other option was to go there and dispute it...
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 16:09
Haha, yeah, its not all roses! I guess we should be grateful we only have to budget for vet bills and groomers, not school fees!
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 15:35
Maybe... are you allowed to leave your car there over a weekend though?
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 15:34
Hope you have a nicer company than DH's then (from a few years ago, that is), who didnt ever even contest anything, just deducted it off his salary...! We forked out nearly 3K for an accident which we got the green slip because HR lost the slip! Tried arguing with to co, but, ***headshake***, "What to do"?....
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 15:23
We were down at the Marina Walk a few weeks ago and parked in what looked like a parking lot to us, near the Nosenpick Hotel, taking the place of someone who'd just left. We returned a couple of hours later to find we'd got a fine; nobody else around us had one. We asked someone to translate it for us, and it was for "blocking traffic", which we couldn't quite figure out. As it was a hire car, we've left it for them to argue.. I hate to tell you, the car hire people wont argue it, they'll just deduct it from your CC that you used for booking the vehicle...
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 14:40
Leave your car at home and catch a taxi to work on the day concerned? Then you can catch a taxi to the airport from work, one back home after your trip and your car will already be at home... Or ask a friend to give you a lift in that day. As a one off I am sure a friend would help you out? LOL - had I thought a bit more, I may have caught a taxi from home, but since the flight day is today, well.... :)
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 14:01
Can you be more specific as to which country and I will try help you, although usually bonus information is contained within the actual contract agreement between the employer and employee, and if you havent found anything in the labour law, its likely because they (the relevant govt) intend for the contract to be the precedent document. Bonuses are hardly ever something that is governed by the country law, but rather individual agreements which differ from situation to situation, for obvious reasons. If you like, you can scan and send me the employment contract (just black out the figures if you want) and I will be able to give you more help. Its also worth finding out whether the company laws / regulations have changed and what the impact is on the contracts signed beforehand. Do you know someone who has joined recently that would give you a copy of their contract to compare?
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 13:50
Fly Dubai :) Cool thanks ladies - will have a look at those now. ETA - cant really leave my car at work as I work in Barsha but live in The Villa. So when I get back at 10pm on Sat night, Id then have to go all the way to Barsha... <em>edited by wikkid on 13/01/2011</em>
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 13:10
Im always up for a new challenge... Just jacked in a really really well paying job to follow DH to Muscat. Not sure what I'll do when I get there, but thats what I said when I jacked in a really really well paying job to follow DH to Dubai :D Having said that, we were married before I did any following, so at worst case scenario if it all goes horribly wrong I know I'll get a house, the dog and the cat :D :D :D (that was a joke by the way!). Is there any way he can move to Russia and you can stay here for a bit and see how he enjoys it etc before you decide to move there? For different reasons, we too are doing a cross-border relationship for the mo and the next few months - take a studio/1BR furnished accom somewhere and test the waters first? See if you are ok with spending a week/couple of weeks in the cold there before you make a huge life-changing decision. Have you got leave due to you at work? Can you take a sabbatical? Good luck and I hope that whichever you choose is the right decision for you! .x.
wikkid
298
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:27
NK you have mail :)
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 09:59
NatashaK - can you drop me an email? Im on wikkid at mail dot com. We are leaving shortly and I want to find another job for my maid, who is lovely. She doesnt have much experience with babies etc so Id rather try find her somewhere that that is not part of her responsibilities. She is a hard worker and I pay 1500dhs/month, which she is happy with (I provide some other stuff but would rather go into it off the forum if you are interested). I can transfer her visa across to you as well. If you look on my previous posts, you'll see I had posted about this before, but the one job has fallen through and Im still waiting to hear from the other lady. Our clock is ticking, and I'd really like to find somewhere for her sooner rather than later.
wikkid
298
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 19:38
Realistically then, so where exactly are you suggesting that the "banned from residential areas" dogs go if not the commercial areas? The desert? Heaven? There arent really any other places... Maybe designated dog zones? I really think the solution is the idea of dog police/patrol and fines if not, what do you think is the solution wikkid? Designated dog zones? No - why should those of us who do abide by the rules be punished for those who dont? Dogs not allowed in kids parks? Yes. Fines for those who dont clean up after their animals? Absolutely. And I dont really think you'll find anyone on this forum who owns a dog who doesnt agree with what Ive written above...
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 19:28
Hi Crystals - have mailed you
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 19:27
Realistically then, so where exactly are you suggesting that the "banned from residential areas" dogs go if not the commercial areas? The desert? Heaven? There arent really any other places...
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 19:21
Wow, Helamima, I must of course lead a miserable life because I don't like to find dog sh!t on my drive, yes that makes sense!!! I didn't say blanket ban on dogs, I just said maybe banning dogs in residential zones should be considered when dog poo on the pavements is obviously such a prevalent issue here. I dont think moving the dogs to the commercial zones would solve anything... There are pavements there too... and cars... It would seem you dont work though, and if this is an incorrect assumption then I apologise, but in essence what you are saying is that as long as it doesnt happen where YOU are affected, you dont give a sh*t (pardon the pun!) And I dont really think my boss would be too keen on me taking my dog to work...
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 19:00
I very nearly posted that earlier today!!!
wikkid
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Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 17:38
If it takes extreme measures ie. banning dogs from residential zones then so be it, so long as I don't have to deal with dog sh!t I really don't care. :\: So what are we going to do with the ones we have? Do we just put them down, or live in the desert ourselves? Do you even know what you are saying?? Just find out who does this and don't take it out on all the dog owners. And take something to relax, it is just poo for God's sakes.. Honestly, I think you have no real problems in life, so creating some.. I don't know where you come from, but where I am from it is NOT ok to let your dog sh!t on someone's drive. Where I am from it is not OK too, that's why I DO pick up after my dogs! You have to respect people's rights in my culture too, which obviously yours is missing! So I should respect a persons right to let their dog sh!t on my driveway? Nice one Alya! Great attitude! I think she meant the right to own an animal....
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 17:01
LOL. "Hello Mr Kettle, Im Mrs Pot. I do believe we are both from the Black family"....
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 16:12
I know I went out for a quick drink a few times, then a supernatural occurrence happened and I was teleported into the future by a few hours and woke up at home... the supernatural occurrences are great, but I think that the time travel messes with your head a bit and makes you warp-sick, because you wake up the next day with a monster headache and a stomach like a washing machine....
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 12:59
If it works, happy to make a donation to a pet shelter you choose :) wikkid at mail dot com cheers!
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 12:54
Can you find other stuff? Ive recently hidden money but cannot remember where...
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 11:41
I have a dog. And to all those that go on a bashing spree about "forcing the maid to take the dog for a walk, shame, poor sad maid", Id like to say this... I would like to walk my dog, but Im aware that where we live, there isnt exactly a social meeting place for the maids to go out. When she walks the dog, she gets to see a few of her friends around and about, who are walking dogs, taking kids out for a walk etc. And she was the one who asked if she could take him for walks. Its also a bit challenging when both of you work, sometimes its not possible to walk the dog... She carries a plastic bag with her, and Ive seen her pick up after the dog (she didnt know I was watching). If I was walking the dog, Id pick up after him. If she's walking the dog, I expect the same of her. I guess my post is just to point out that making assumptions based on only a little bit of information really isnt fair. You tar all of us with the same brush, its not really unlike racism/sexism etc... "Youre a white person from Zimbabwe, do you beat the black people who work for you?", "Youre a woman, you couldnt possibly do the job properly", "You have a dog, you obviously dont pick up after it so rather we just cull off all dogs in Dubai".... I don't think anyone said anything about forcing a maid to take a dog for a walk! I just don't want to wake up to find dog sh!t on my drive! If it takes extreme measures ie. banning dogs from residential zones then so be it, so long as I don't have to deal with dog sh!t I really don't care. So along those same veins of thought, Ive seen people whose kids have thrown up in shopping malls and rather than them stop and try to clean up, they hurry away. I dont have kids, and think that a puddle of vomit in the walkway is disgusting... Should we ban kids? Different parts of my post were in response to various posts "just maybe some inconsiderate ignorant owners should move their backside from the sofa and take the responsability to take the dogs out and not waiting for the maids to do it" " shame on all the "dog owners" " "to start a petition to ban dogs in dubai completely because their owners do not take proper care of them"
wikkid
298
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 10:29
I have a dog. And to all those that go on a bashing spree about "forcing the maid to take the dog for a walk, shame, poor sad maid", Id like to say this... I would like to walk my dog, but Im aware that where we live, there isnt exactly a social meeting place for the maids to go out. When she walks the dog, she gets to see a few of her friends around and about, who are walking dogs, taking kids out for a walk etc. And she was the one who asked if she could take him for walks. Its also a bit challenging when both of you work, sometimes its not possible to walk the dog... She carries a plastic bag with her, and Ive seen her pick up after the dog (she didnt know I was watching). If I was walking the dog, Id pick up after him. If she's walking the dog, I expect the same of her. I guess my post is just to point out that making assumptions based on only a little bit of information really isnt fair. You tar all of us with the same brush, its not really unlike racism/sexism etc... "Youre a white person from Zimbabwe, do you beat the black people who work for you?", "Youre a woman, you couldnt possibly do the job properly", "You have a dog, you obviously dont pick up after it so rather we just cull off all dogs in Dubai"....
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 17:30
Take it to the Rolex shop in Dubai Mall, last thing you want to do is have it done cheaply and they switch your watch or similar.
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 17:19
All these mades seeing to the man of the house. I tell you I demand equality and if one of mine doesn't proposition me soon I'm going to impose a travel ban on them till they do! Snort - thanks for the first real laugh Ive had all day!
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 17:18
no man is 150% trustworthy...a man who has never cheated is a man who has never been offered... Wow. I really dont even have a comeback on that one. Well, not yet anyway....
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 16:24
Because I'm pretty certain that 50% of men I know are not shagging their maids. Maybe it depends on the company you keep. LOL SD, going on the quoted statistics then, either your DH or mine is boffing the maid... Mine's in Oman and the maid is here with me, so better you go get your rolling pin out :D
wikkid
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 16:23
Id be really careful about this, and agree, if youre going to confront anyone, confront the not-so-D DH.... What happens if the maid goes to the Police and says the DH raped her...
wikkid
298
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 15:21
Thats what my cat would look like if he was 20kg lighter and had a tummy tuck :D
wikkid
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 13:15
Is there maybe such a thing as a hospice here in UAE? I know when my mom was near the end, the hospice in Zim was wonderful, and they loaned us all sorts of things such as wheelchair etc.
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 13:13
Too true... Have hired people in the past with degrees who really cannot do a job.... Similarly, have hired people with nothing more than a high school certificate, and they are brilliant. Im sure people dont necessarily want someone else to look after their children, but similarly, they also dont want their kids to starve or go without clothes etc. Which is the lesser of the two evils? Edited for pants spelling :D <em>edited by wikkid on 11/01/2011</em>
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 12:48
Probably better to get them made in satwa or otherwise order online
wikkid
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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 21:07
Thanks ladies - looking forward to a change in pace... Have loved living in Dubai, but I think Im a bit worn out!
wikkid
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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 21:03
Yep, although only down the road to Muscat... :) I'll no doubt still be lurking around on the boards! And on the odd occasion probably could be found on the naughty chair ;)
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 19:47
Depends which one :)
wikkid
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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 19:46
Love it - wish I could pick up the house and move the whole thing with us!!!
wikkid
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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 19:10
LOL dipika, Thanks for your post but this post is rather old :). Ive since moved there, set up The Villa community website with all the info gathered and invaluable help from other lovely ladies, and am now about to leave :(
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 23:06
Wow... To be honest, I would also be scared silly - to the point where I wouldnt come over here, since defaulting would go on your record and you'd be picked up at immigration as you enter.... I dont really know the answer, as even if she did run, 500K would be enough for them to follow you. What cheques does she have out there anyway which could be presented? And how does she manage to have accounts and credit cards here in Dubai if she is living in Bahrain? Im not being judgmental but how on earth did she mange to run up such a huge debt in the first place?
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 15:56
Born in Zimbabwe - will be a Zimbo or a Bo, until I die :D Actually thats not quite true... I was born in Rhodesia, so would be a Rhodie, or a "When-we"...
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 14:49
Born in Zimbabwe - will be a Zimbo or a Bo, until I die :D
wikkid
298
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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 13:57
Yep, I meant the card :)
wikkid
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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 13:55
I chuck out eye pencils and mascara fairly regularly (although dont use much to begin with!), but the rest still lurks in the bag :D ETA - I chuck the eye stuff out regularly cause I used to wear contacts, and then had laser surgery, so am very aware of eye infections etc, otherwise Id probably be keeping those until finished as well!!!... <em>edited by wikkid on 09/01/2011</em>
wikkid
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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 13:52
When I was back in SA, I actually got some sleeping pills for those times when there is no spare bedroom for me to escape to! Most of the time I manage to either get to sleep before DH, or I wake him up and make him stay awake until I can get to sleep, or else I wander into another room, but there are times when you cannot find somewhere else (hotel / staying at someone elses house etc) to go, and Im NOT a nice person when I dont get sleep! We even have 2 tent in case! Mine is one of those spring up ones, so if he is snoring, I just move tents! Grab the corner of the pop up one and keep dragging it along until I cannot hear him any more! Its the plan that when we move to Muscat, we are both going to lose weight, so hopefully that will help as well...
wikkid
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Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 21:34
That made me laugh, thanks. As for the wimmin snoring, well, Ive never heard myself snore, so I obviously dont!!! :D
wikkid
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Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 20:45
Thanks :). I assume etisalat would do the same...?
 
 
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