5 April 2015
| Last updated on 22 April 2015
From Burnley to The Netherlands
Where were you born and where did you grow up?
I was born and bred in Burnley, in Lancashire, in the North-West of England. I gained a degree in European Business in Hull, and then did my Post Graduate Certificate of Education in Modern Languages in Exeter.
Why did you leave the U.K.?
After I’d been teaching for four years, my husband was offered a great job in The Netherlands. Whilst both of us were undaunted by the move – having lived in Germany for a couple of years during our studies – I struggled when we first arrived. It was difficult leaving behind my very promising career and we were living in Amsterdam, which – like any city – is a difficult place to meet others. I was really quite lonely and found a job at an English-speaking company, just to get me out of the house. Whilst I had a few friends, it was only once we left Amsterdam that my friendship-network took off, by way of the children’s activities.
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Do you have a job?
I’ve been a full-time mum since our first child was born, about a year after we moved here. However, I’ve also taught Dutch to English speakers, around my children’s routines, having taught myself within a couple of years, on the back of my knowledge of German. Over the years, I’ve managed to pinpoint the key aspects to learning a language logically, and developed a unique system that I then used to teach Dutch and that I now use to teach British English. (My future teaching will be online rather than face-to-face, as I have lots of enquiries and too little time.)
Were there any culture shocks?
The Dutch have a tendency to be direct, sometimes to the point of rudeness. This was and remains difficult to swallow. You always know where you stand, which is good, but a little tact would be appreciated. That said we do live in Holland. This is the area of The Netherlands in which most Dutch people live. It’s busy, and tolerance levels are lower than in less populated areas of The Netherlands, which are more friendly and laid back.
Despite their tendency to look stern, and to frown, they’re a friendly bunch, generally. Once you’re a friend you’re a friend for life, in my experience. If you don’t like ‘the Dutch’, the chances are you’ve never spent more than 5 minutes with a native.
They’re quite liberal in their ways. Rules are questioned and often flouted. Queuing isn’t the norm, and you have to make yourself heard, which is quite difficult when you’re 5’ 2” and the tallest nation in the world is towering above you.
People don’t like to stick their head above the parapet. A common Dutch phrase is: “Be normal! That’s mad enough!” People take more pleasure from the simple things in life. They work to live and not the other way round. Job-shares (where women work 2 or 3 days) are commonplace and it’s not abnormal for a man to work a four-day week, so that he can spend more time with the children.
School starts on a child’s fourth birthday, or any time before their fifth. The first couple of years are all about play and social interaction, as well as looking at letters and numbers. Formal teaching doesn’t start until a child is about six. Even at primary school, children can be kept back a year if the teacher deems it necessary. The primary school advises which level of secondary school the child should go into, although it doesn’t always get it right - as we found out, to our horror.
At secondary school, the first 2 years determine the true academic level of the child. There is an incentive to work, as if the pupil doesn’t pass the year it has to be repeated, or they have to change level (which can also mean changing school.) Year-groups are made up of pupils of various ages as a result. Only children in the top two (of five) levels are allowed to go to university. For the other levels, practical qualifications or college diplomas are the next step.
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Most sporting and musical activities are ex-curricular and have to be paid for. Any more than three activities per week would be frowned upon, as “children need time to play.”
Before and after-school care is available for children at primary level, but this must be paid for. There is no 9 – 3.30 culture at secondary school. Every day is different, and lessons at the beginning and end of the timetable can be cancelled, on any given day. (Full-time working parents would struggle without help.)
English is not seen as a ‘foreign language’ in secondary schools in NL: it is one of the three core subjects that you need to pass to progress to the next year, and is part of the end-examination in most levels. However, whilst there is a zest to learn the language in the wider community, there is little heed paid to the fact that English profanities are not acceptable on daytime television and radio; children’s clothing, or other products. It is shocking to all the ex-pats I know here just how freely English profanities are banded around.
Political correctness is less prevalent than in Britain. People speak their mind and there are some aspects that might not always sit well with ex-pats, although this is changing. Health and Safety regulation does not have the same clout: people are expected to use their common sense when going about their lives.
There are still many small, independent shops in NL, such as butchers, bakers, florists and greengrocers. These are wonderful and much more customer-orientated than the supermarkets we have (which tend to be very small and offer limited choices, and inferior customer service.)
The cycling culture is superb, especially as it’s so flat. The best thing is that our children at secondary school have total independence and can get themselves to wherever they need to be, knowing that they are as safe as they could be on the roads.
However, as a driver, it’s tricky negotiating around cyclists. They are always in the right and you have to stay alert at all times. Teenagers are generally on their phones, and pretty much no-one over the age of 10 wears a helmet.
Unicef’s League Table of Happiness puts The Netherlands towards the top every year. It is a superb country in which to raise children, but it comes at a cost.
Tax breaks are good. We pay 52% tax, which means that we get 52% of our monthly mortgage payment back halfway through the month. (Not having a mortgage over here would be ill advised.) Foreigners coming to NL for a job have the first 30% of their salary tax-exempt for the first 10 years of living here.
Employers have to help their employees pay the transport costs of getting to work. Working parents are subsidised by the government for their nursery-care costs. Everyone over 18 has to pay for health insurance.
Parents have to pay a yearly contribution for schooling, but this covers everything. Our contribution is about 800 euros per child per year, and this is an expensive school, as all students are issued with a laptop.
It is not cheap to live here, despite the tax breaks, but things work well, in general. Roads are well maintained; hospitals are clean, and public transport works, most of the time. If I phone my doctor’s in the morning, I’ll generally get an appointment that day.
Despite NL having a population of only 16 million, it produces a huge wealth of talent, so it’s obviously doing something right.
Britain could learn a lot from The Netherlands, and vice versa.
Is it necessary to speak the language?
Most Dutch speak English - to varying degrees - so it isn’t necessary to learn the language. However, you’ll never fully integrate here unless you do. Learning Dutch as an English speaker is a challenge, as most people insist on replying in English. When you’ve been here for 10 years and haven’t mastered the language, people will frown and want to know why.
The top and bottom of it is that if you’re at a party and you don’t speak Dutch, you’ll feel pretty lonely after 10 pm, as people always revert to their native tongue. Also, you’ll never really understand the Dutch – as a nation – without knowing their language.
You have an interesting FB page. What is it about and why did you start it?
Grammar Rant’s mission is to improve standards in British English, through humour and gentle teaching. I started it as I come across a lot of foreigners whose grasp of English is better than that of a lot of native Brits.
We send out four posts per day, using various ‘themes’, based on the English language. You won’t find tedious grammar or complicated words on our page: we just want to encourage a good grasp of British English, and laugh – as often as possible.
It’s aimed at native Brits, and we love regional dialects and words from across the U.K. That said we have Ranters of various nationalities all over the world. We showcase what a beautiful language British English is and help people to get the most out of it. British English is a sought-after commodity, worldwide, and we need to take advantage of that.
There are currently 2 billion people learning English and Grammar Rant wants to put British English firmly on the map. The page is still in its infancy, being six months old, and needs many more Likes to help it achieve its mission, but I am very optimistic that this will happen. We get a lot of very positive feedback and posts to our page. Now we need more Ranters.
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How many countries have you lived in?
There were the two years in Germany, as a student, and we’ve now been living in The Netherlands for 16 years.
Will you ever move back to the U.K. or are you a nomad?
I’m definitely not a nomad. I have no plans to move from here to another country other than the U.K., but you should never say “never”.
I’m British through and through, but we’re not leaving The Netherlands until our children are out of the Dutch school system, which works well for them. We’ve always spoken only English to them and they’re all fully bilingual. The first couple of years of Dutch playgroup and school were tricky, particularly for our eldest (being the first to go to school), but in the end it’s paid off.
Whilst we’re really happy with our life over here, I’ll always think of myself as a ‘Brit in The Netherlands’: a guest in the country rather than a member of it. When I’m back in the U.K., I feel totally at ease (except on the roads, where drivers are a lot less friendly and courteous than they used to be.)
If things go wrong over here with aspects of daily life, my husband and I tend to put things down to the language or the culture, but – being honest and realistic – we know that nothing’s perfect, anywhere. If and when we move back to the UK, things will still go wrong and we’ll have nothing to blame.
What advice would you give to anyone thinking of moving abroad?
Be prepared for it to take a whole year for you to feel settled, quite aside of the language issues. If you’ve got children it makes it easier to get to know others, but it still takes time to become a part of groups that have been established over years. Also remember that repatriation into your homeland will take just as long as, once you’ve been away, you’ll see things through different eyes. Make sure you smile a lot, and never pay attention to your first impressions of people: they’re usually always wrong.
The life-value that you’ll get from a few years abroad is priceless.
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