CalamityJane | ExpatWoman.com
 

CalamityJane

CalamityJane
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Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 15:15
Well, I will note that perception is reality. When I lived in Dubai, I lived in International City. Only ever got the tip expectation once, from a Carluccios delivery guy, and I did, because he was kind enough to come where they don't usually come. Other than that, never got it once.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 04 March 2013 - 14:11
Hey Naiyyar, I lived in International City with my husband for over a year. We started out in a flat in Italy Cluster, and eventually moved to France (we are both Australian). Italy has a great community feel, a baskin robbins, a great mens barber and a really good beauty salon owned by a lebanese woman (next to the baskin robbins). We paid 28000 yearly on the first apartment, but that's because it was furnished and we were paying by the month (before we had a res visa, as well). We then moved to France where we paid 26500 for a 1.5 bed that was 1500 sq feet. It had a study, large bedroom, two bathrooms, huge lounge and kitchen, plus a balcony. We were directly opposite the carrefour and a 5 minute walk from the spinneys. Parking is plentiful in IC, as there is a carpark behind every building. I felt completely safe there, and could go to the market at 1am- no-one would harm me. Plus it had the best fresh baked bread ever. All the small supermarkets and laundries deliver. Be nice to the laundry man :) So the CBD is not the only area to live. I wouldn't live in morocco, china, greece, etc. Everywhere has bachelors but as a general rule I found them to be well behaved. CDB building are sometimes family only, but as a general rule they are smaller and more exppensive. Spain has two family only buildings also. Let me know if there is anything else I can tell you!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 21 July 2012 - 14:15
Trance is still alive and well ladies... A state of trance done by armin van buuren. When he came out for the new years concert it was huge. But if they are looking for trance culture, they should be heading to the Netherlands :) In Ramadan, no way though!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 July 2012 - 13:10
Shell, I hope it gets better. Be aware, all kids turn into terrible monsters from 12 onwards, and turn nice again around age 20. Is there any chance you guys will live closer in the future? Your husband will loose his child if he can't put the face time in with her. My father was absent from 9-20, when I contacted him. We have an ok relationship, but it still gets fraught sometimes, as we don't have years of love to offset the bad moments. I live in a different country to him, and am actually glad I do. All I can say is, I hope you guys have little ones if youwant children, [b'>because the older she grows, the more she will resent him not being there. [/b'>I have made my peace with it, but there will always be a part of me that wonders why I wasn't important enough- compounded by the fact that I have 2 younger sisters that he will do anything for, but I don't have the same status- he resents helping me out. with respect CJ you are talking from your own experience - not all children whose father has left feel that way about him...my parents split up when i was young and although i had lots of issues i have never resented him or blamed him and we have always had a good relationship...and i never felt "not important" to him...all men are different and the type of father they make is different too... I totally see where you are coming from, and it depends on the person. I can only share my experience, and warn that absence means a lack of explanation and communication, and therefore leaves one to come to one's own conclusions. Also, you must have been more mature than me :P It sounds like the OP and her husband are in a rough spot, and I can only give advice that echoes my own experiences- particularly as it seems their communication is already breaking down. it also depends on how mature and responsible the parents are to shape a child's opinion positively and negatively, and to me it seems like it;s a bit of a war there. I am very glad that from your own experiences you have such peace of mind. :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 July 2012 - 13:00
Also, you're a great wife to your man. Trying to help maintain those relationships when your life would be simpler without it says a lot for the kind of person you are. I for one, raise a glass to that.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 July 2012 - 12:58
Shell, I hope it gets better. Be aware, all kids turn into terrible monsters from 12 onwards, and turn nice again around age 20. Is there any chance you guys will live closer in the future? Your husband will loose his child if he can't put the face time in with her. My father was absent from 9-20, when I contacted him. We have an ok relationship, but it still gets fraught sometimes, as we don't have years of love to offset the bad moments. I live in a different country to him, and am actually glad I do. All I can say is, I hope you guys have little ones if youwant children, because the older she grows, the more she will resent him not being there. I have made my peace with it, but there will always be a part of me that wonders why I wasn't important enough- compounded by the fact that I have 2 younger sisters that he will do anything for, but I don't have the same status- he resents helping me out.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 July 2012 - 12:16
Honestly, at that age she will really be beginning to form her own opinions. If she says she'll skype, but doesn't, then she doesn't want to or won't be bothered particularly if her mother is in her ear about her father. I think it will probably get worse from here on out, so be prepared. The older she gets the more absent she is going to feel he is, especially as she sees him for 2 weeks once every 2 years. Why make an effort for a stranger? Especially when she hits her teens and starts wondering why he didn't make more of an effort visiting. Be prepared for her eventually telling your DH that she doesn't want to know, he's going to need you.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 18 July 2012 - 11:24
Hey CJ - bless sounds like you went to loads of effort. My DH is lucky if he gets spag bol let alone duck breasts!! Loads of expats here - I know it's hard to meet them tho, takes a while. Just read - you;re in Reading??? That's where I'm from haha! Good old Reading -miss the Oracle centre and the huge Primark (always pop in for a cheeky Gregs afterwards ha!). So I don't get it - you're in Dubai or Reading??? In Reading.... left dubai a couple months ago :) I LOVE the Primark :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 18 July 2012 - 11:19
I'm in reading, in the uk.... if the community is huge I'd appreciate being pointed in the right direction :) Oh you're not in Dubai? Nope, left Dubai just over 2 months ago now :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 18 July 2012 - 11:18
Does your husband have a lot of co-workers he likes to hang out with? Why not invite them over with their wives for a nice big dinner at your place? Could be a nice way to meet new people and good for the husbands cred at work:) His company doesn't really seem to do that, unfortunately, and getting someone to accept a dinner invite is hard- if they do accept, they won't bring their family. At least where he is now they won't :) Thanks though Marroosh! Ps I love reading your posts, you are always so cheerful.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 18 July 2012 - 11:16
I'm in reading, in the uk.... if the community is huge I'd appreciate being pointed in the right direction :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 18 July 2012 - 10:49
He's usually pretty good about being home at a normal time- I'm going to admit it, I was being snippy. Planned a pretty fancy meal and was a bit annoyed. I am also a bit lonely here- there isn't a huge expat population so meeting people is hard. And he was at dinner with a pile of very interesting people from all over the world. It all kind of came together and forced me to re-evaluate. I love to cook and entertain, and am excellent socially and love throwing do's because it really helps with his work and connections. Come to realize that I am not going to have that here, and there is no place for me to do that. I need to figure out where to refocus my energies. Feeling a bit adrift. He gets to go high and meet all these interesting people, and I don't want to become boring and stagnated. Perhaps I was even a little jealous (shh, don't tell anyone!) Sorry ladies, ramble alert :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 17 July 2012 - 23:23
no problemo ...... put on a plate, cover with cling flim - warm up tomorrow, ..... bet you he never does it again, mmmmm reheated food - not! Oooh an maybe over cook everything? thinking of you xx Even better idea, text him tomorrow just before he's due to leave work and say ... opps sorry am out to dinner, yours in the micorwave, don't wait up! edited by cymraes on 17/07/2012 1. I wish- that man will eat anything... 2. Not a bad idea... except my only friend here lives a two hour train ride away :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 17 July 2012 - 23:23
7:05pm.... soup is made, duck breast in the oven, hollandaise coming together, pumpkin and brocolli salad and Be home late. dinner out. via email. Ugh Sounds yummy...... Im on my way! feel free... long plain ride though! :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 17 July 2012 - 22:20
can't I? Oh wait, that's illegal here.... dang.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 17 July 2012 - 21:33
This is with the caveat that it's an outdoor track. Warning OP, I'm getting on my hobby horse! I smoke. I'm considerate- I don't stand next to groups of non smokers and smoke, I don't expect to smoke in other's homes, if I go out with someone who I know hates it I move away. And yet I get treated like some sort of social pariah. I hate when people drink, but I don't demand they do it elsewhere, and there are any number of behaviours I thoroughly dislike, but everyone jumps on me because it's acceptable to tell off a smoker for their bad habit. People glare at me if I smoke on the pavement, my own ****** hen's party wouldn't sit outside so I could smoke- people tell me off for doing it in my own house. Well EXCUSE ME. Rant over :)
CalamityJane
50
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 July 2012 - 21:28
****** that and switch on some of your favourite trash telly... goes well with a mc chicken I hear :)
CalamityJane
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 July 2012 - 21:57
Kenzo Jungle (although they stopped making it) L'Air du Temps by Nina Ricci, arpege and poison by Dior.
CalamityJane
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2012 - 12:54
For three separate intolerances? In dubai, nowhere. There are places that can handle one, but three? No. You are relying on the brain of your server, and honestly, I wouldn't.
CalamityJane
50
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 12:08
No idea.... Our solution is to visit Eastern Europe and bring back 4 cartons each month.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 05 July 2012 - 20:03
Packet of fags to my right and paraphernalia to roll my own on the left. Oops, priorities. I'll stick it in the flames as I leave and have a few as I go down. BTW you ladies have got it good having a carton for 65dhs. A carton here is 70-90 quid. I nearly died!
CalamityJane
50
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 July 2012 - 20:01
Honestly, if it's just a few boxes fly with an airline with good luggage allowances. I had 4 boxes of stuff (mostly dh's IT setup) and it would have cost me several thousand dhs to ship it with allied, relogulf etc. It cost me my ticket plus 750dhs to take it all with me on the plane. Ended up being 2 LARGE suitcases, and 4 boxes.
CalamityJane
50
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Latest post on 21 June 2012 - 16:30
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echis_carinatus
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 21 June 2012 - 12:31
I met my husband after huge emotional upheaval in my life. I had even been thrown out of my home. I moved in with him with one suitcase, lot my job, all around the same time. And this after I had always worked up until that point. He has, and does, have the capacity to earn more than I ever would. A lot more, in comparison, I made peanuts. I am a stay at home, though I don't yet have children. He and I are perfectly comfortable with this, I make sure he has everything he needs, and he appreciates home made cake :) But it wasn't always that simple. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone judged me for it, and it used to really upset me. Anyone who thinks that those who stay at home don't "earn", they are mistaken. DH and I split it that I earn half his hourly wage. And the thing is, his job stops- I work 7 days a week till quite late at night. But it works for us. OP, if you feel you need to be taken care of, this needs to be communicated with him. But do not make him feel worthless. And as to the rest of the world who don't like it- when someone asks me rudely or harasses me about what I do "Darling, everything you wish you were doing while you are sitting in your cubicle. Yes, I really am that spoiled"
CalamityJane
50
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 June 2012 - 12:31
I met my husband after huge emotional upheaval in my life. I had even been thrown out of my home. I moved in with him with one suitcase, lot my job, all around the same time. And this after I had always worked up until that point. He has, and does, have the capacity to earn more than I ever would. A lot more, in comparison, I made peanuts. I am a stay at home, though I don't yet have children. He and I are perfectly comfortable with this, I make sure he has everything he needs, and he appreciates home made cake :) But it wasn't always that simple. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone judged me for it, and it used to really upset me. Anyone who thinks that those who stay at home don't "earn", they are mistaken. DH and I split it that I earn half his hourly wage. And the thing is, his job stops- I work 7 days a week till quite late at night. But it works for us. OP, if you feel you need to be taken care of, this needs to be communicated with him. But do not make him feel worthless. And as to the rest of the world who don't like it- when someone asks me rudely or harasses me about what I do "Darling, everything you wish you were doing while you are sitting in your cubicle. Yes, I really am that spoiled"
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 21:39
yes, my be a dog for a day business.... I just thought marketing it would create some controversy.... so google calamity jane if you are interested in being a dog for a day!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 21:19
ahhhhh CJ, i see you've been reading that well-known tome - how to win friends and influence people !!! a very brave post :D Ah but Penny, on the internet no-one knows you're a dog! :D http://www.flickr.com/photos/ben_lawson/155595430/
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 21:09
Having just moved here, I have to say, it is a bit of a bleeding heart system. I'm not british, or an eea citizen. Went to the docs and forgot my passport, only had my DL. At first they said they wouldn't take it, but when I handed over 30 quid to pay (I have no problem with paying btw) the nurse behind the counter wouldn't take my money, and told me not to worry about it. Then they gave me a free pee test, a free pregnancy test, checked my blood sugar, lungs, offered me free condoms and a free chlamydia test. And NHS prescriptions are capped at 8 quid. It's practically socialist over here! LOLs at the chlamydia test....
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 16:09
No. He was supposed to come by, but everything was a fairly casual arrangement. My mistake, I know. Just proves that no matter how friendly things are, it all goes sour when it comes to cash. Also, I didn't think it could possibly be as conniving as Dubai. Luckily it's not a lot of money, but still...
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 15:45
I know GM.... :) You have to laugh, but sometimes it's just attitude that gets me. It really does. This is the kind of guy that shares one internet connection between two houses, then tries to convince the tenants it is slow because of a fault, not because 12 people share it.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 15:43
Taped them to the back of the door of the room, and let him know they were there.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 15:38
I just hate the sneakiness of it. no word until you want your money back, and then a litany of problems. He's a private landlord, no agency. Great idea HilsBils. Ugh. I would have happily gone back and cleaned the place in front of him. Wonder how much this drawer will cost!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 15:34
UK.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 19 June 2012 - 15:32
Unfortunately no. He was not there that day, even though I told him when I was leaving and he said he'd be in. But nope, nothing till we want our deposit returned.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 12 June 2012 - 21:41
Mahr, would it be cheaper for you to send her to boarding school? I feel your pain, I was a horror. At this point she needs to have someone say to her that she needs to put all the fun aside for a bit and knuckle down- if she messes it up and doesn't get the results she needs, it can be a lot lot harder to get out of the workforce and back into further education. Was she a high achieving student before? Maybe it needs to come down to a conversation where you tell her that you can't afford for her to goof off. Does she have a job? If she does, make it clear to her how long it would take her to earn that years fees. Take away the internet, phone. I did and it helped me to work. If you are going to give up income that is important due to limited opportunities, to give her an opportunity, she needs to know how much you are giving up. Call me harsh, but sometimes the economics do matter. http://www.dubaitutoronline.com/1/post/2010/02/the-ged-explained.html http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Which_is_the_best_school_in_Dubai_for_GED Otherwise, maybe broach doing it by correspondence? not a bad way to do it if she is unable to get back on track now.
CalamityJane
50
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Latest post on 12 June 2012 - 21:30
He has no right to bully you, or treat you badly. Are you from India originally? Do you have friends you can go to. Dubai as a whole is not sympathetic to victims of abuse, so if you can get yourself to a country that is you would be better off. Can you afford to care for and school your boys in your home country, and would your DH let you take them?
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 12 June 2012 - 21:27
Oh, seniors aren't 18 there? whoops, I'm not that young!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 12 June 2012 - 21:26
Honestly, Around that age I gave my mum **** when it came to school. My issues weren't around social life though, I was bored stiff with the program at my school and eventually stopped doing the work. I think there a couple of plausible scenarios here- kick her out into the real world and make her work (which if she isn't school oriented it might mean she would prosper) but make it clear to her she will have to be ambitious to work her way up without completing high school. Or, talk to her without screaming and find out what the underlying issues are. Or scare the **** out of her- tell her what people in call centres earn, and tell her you will pull her out of school and she will have to pay rent, bills and earn her own living. (my mums method of choice-I may have kicked and screamed but I did finish school with decent results and an offer to law at uni, but obviously not in dubai, she threatened to kick me out of home as soon as I got a job so I could see what the real world is like) Or... tell her dad he needs to deal with it. But honestly, she is old enough to be told that her decisions now are important, and whatever they are she will soon have to fend for herself as an adult. Unless there is something seriously wrong, often it's just teen recalcitrance. And before you say I don't understand, I that age 4 years ago.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 June 2012 - 18:38
I am sure it is in the jacket pocket, or, if you are like me, in the tupperware cupboard...
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 June 2012 - 13:13
Hey LuLee, we stayed at the Pullman and the Shangrila Putrajaya. Absolutely loved the shangrila, ridiculously comfortable beds, huge grounds, pool, free wifi if I remember correctly. I am fairly sure they also had a kids club... And room service is the same price as eating at the restaurant. The pullman was great as well, just different, and perhaps more suitable for kids. I was a bit sick at the time, someone else might be able to give a better review.
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 08 June 2012 - 13:58
Actually, John Lewis, not loving it so much- but I am a fan of the Marks and Spencer food section. Oh Purple- you need to move here- everything has allargen info, and there is loads of gluten free, and it's cheap!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 08 June 2012 - 13:03
Sorry Julianne, but why don't you just buy him a health insurance policy? Or at least get travel insurance?
CalamityJane
50
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Latest post on 08 June 2012 - 13:03
Sorry Julianne, but why don't you just buy him a health insurance policy? Or at least get travel insurance?
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 23 May 2012 - 13:11
I had one day where I had to have my life's possessions delivered to my new home, and attend a very good friends baby shower. Cue racing out the door with cash in my pocket, cigarettes and NO baby gift. Got there, panicked, called DH who delivered the gift to me, give it to the new mum, only to get a call that the movers were 2 hours early. Cue calling DH to come pick me up, and throwing my empty pack in my friends bin. Except I had forgotten that I had put the 500 dollars for the movers in the pack... Cue a race back to friends place to politely ask "Can I please go through your bin?" It was found, then the movers forgot something, and DH and I missed our restaurant booking for our anniversary... ended up eating takeaway thai in the backseat of the car while dressed to the 9's!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 May 2012 - 22:46
Advertise it free on dubizzle, guarantee someone will take it
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 May 2012 - 21:02
Thanks SK, you're brilliant. Just wanted the perspective of someone who works in the airline industry and wasn't so quiet on the phone that they said yes to everything I asked. Really appreciate it hon, your travel thread was a a fantastic help, and knew if anyone could help it would be you :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 May 2012 - 20:50
Am travelling with BA to uk because of their ridiculous baggage allowances, however need to pay for excess for 2 boxes I need to take with me. They are larger than the allowed free checked baggage size, but I was told on the phone that it will be labelled large goods. I can pay online for my extra baggage (only way really) but it does not differentiate between ordinary and large size (the boxes are big, but not overweight). It's my hubbys computer case and screen. Am I going to have problems checking it in? Called BA, but they said it would be fine, but I just don't trust them. Anything I can do? Or any suggestions? Thanks so much for your wisdom! Jane :)
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 May 2012 - 20:46
No GM, I stopped answering the calls- the thought of someone wanting my unwashed just freaked me out a BIT too much! It was a laugh though!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 May 2012 - 20:26
Perhaps send your host a small gift to let him know you had a great night, after all he was the one who was embarassed... otherwise send a complaint to the management (for which there will be no satisfactory response) then have some wine with DH and laugh it all away!
CalamityJane
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Latest post on 10 May 2012 - 20:24
Moving to the uk... currently working my ass off to get the house ready... still have to pack and need more luggage so a late night trip to dragonmart is needed... gosh, knackered just writing it down! And my bed sold today so it's floor for me.. don't know how much sleep I will be getting though. The nine hour flight will be a good rest! :)
 
 
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