Chocoa | ExpatWoman.com
 

Chocoa

Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 23:00
Some update. Lost our baby to an ectopic. Strange that it hurt so much even though, the pregnancy was not planned and we had not wanted any more kids. Its been more than a fortnight now and am recovering. Didn't have any legal issues at the hospital. We both realised the 'no more kids' decision is possibly flexible - we both are upset at the loss and the thought of what could have been. Believe there was a reason for this, perhaps for us to realise that life is short and there's no point in waiting for a a right time to get married, when we feel so sure about each other. OH has formally proposed with a lovely ring and we'll soon be planning our wedding. Soppy as it is can I just say, I love him.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 10:37
Just to update all the lovely ladies on here, we are following the Christ Church Jebel Ali route and hopefully all will be accepted and okay. If not, we will follow the one of our home country routes. I will post on here so others can use the information. Again thank you all for the care shown and help. Chocoa, I would be more careful to give all your info out in public forum, [i'>here[/i'>[b'>[/b'>. You said already enough to be identified at that church. Thanks AriVW, its funny how we sometimes can see it when others do it and not ourselves! I have in 3 different scenarios asked posters to delete information. Done it myself though! Maybe I'll delete all posts that are not useful to others. Is there something I don't understand, why is it an issue if the church knows? I will be telling them all that's on here anyway.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 10:04
Just to update all the lovely ladies on here, we are following the Christ Church Jebel Ali route and hopefully all will be accepted and okay. If not, we will follow the one of our home country routes. I will post on here so others can use the information. Again thank you all for the care shown and help.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 09:57
Regarding sharia marriage, I have read on another forum about non muslin couple marrying in sharia court just so they can legally live together but not necessarily register it with their embassy. Don't know if it works or not but just a thought Please remember that just because you read something on a forum, or even a government webpage does not make it accurate information in this country. Yes KKS I am aware and posted clarification on this on ths thread itself. Am Christian and OH is Christian. Someone asked if I could marry in Shariah court and I said DH will have to be a muslim then. This is not true at all.. KKS I am not sure what part of it has been misunderstood. If OH is muslim, he can marry in the Shariah court here. A muslim man can marry a muslim woman, jew or Christian woman in the Shariah court General information for anyone else As for dates of delivery/wedding dates - this has been posted here several times and in general its okay, but definitely okay if you deliver in a private hospital and have married say befroe 8th week of pregnancy. deliveres often happen between 36 weeks to 42 weeks so there's lee way there. I know of at least 6 such cases, including one a cousin who married in her 19th week who had no issues. Of course she stayed out of the country till 3 weeks before the wedding in Dubai, to reduce risk. I can only speak from experience and as we know there are times were people get unlucky. <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 18:32
Regarding sharia marriage, I have read on another forum about non muslin couple marrying in sharia court just so they can legally live together but not necessarily register it with their embassy. Don't know if it works or not but just a thought For sake of anyone else looking for info reading this thread. I'll clarify that is incorrect. Shariah marriage is only for Muslims or a Muslim man and a Christian/Jew woman.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 18:30
This thread turns a new direction every 5 posts. :\: After the first 15 or so very useful posts that gave me an option I didn't know existed and even google didn't come up with.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 18:28
All so complicated, hope you the best of luck and you get everything sorted pronto!! Thanks, but the fact is that I had checked with both our embassies mentioned time frames and other detials here and was working on it, you would have known that if you read the post before making harsh comments. Thanks everyone else for all your suggestions, its been of great help, will sign out for today and update tomorrow. X <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 16:20
It seems obvious but don't see it mentioned - why not call your respective consulates to ask if they can list what is available here to get married quickly for you 2 ( if you decide that). Las Vagas seems a long way to go for a quick wedding! Just a thought - can you give birth here without any problems if the 9 months overlaps the marriage date?! I've heard some hospitals here ask to see the marriage cert. when babies are born. Good luck! Looked at Las Vegas even just to have it done quick. You can give birth without issues if less than 9 months, its been discussed before and I have just gone over due - so if we sort it out soon enough, it shouldn't be that bad.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 16:17
If I was in such a dilemma I would find the quickest and easiest solution and get the job done!!!!!!!!! and not be on a forum wasting precious time. edited by salsB on 08/03/2011 SalsB you had to make sure there's a rude poster here is it?? Not answerable to you but - I got good ideas here. Am in the office, so can't run around! DH is working on the Christ Church Jebel Ali option at the moment. Got a meeting with closest couple of friends tonight to work on this. Surely not wasting time, found out yest afternoon - what else do you want me to do?!? PS - Thanks AriVW edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011 Im not a rude poster, im saying as it is!!!!!!!! ring your embassy and ask them the quickest way, bare in mind a live forum may not always know the correct answer to your questions anyway. Visited and rang embassies first thing and they could only advise their procedure, looking here for other options. Remember we are diff nationalities! You'll know if you read the full post. This was done early today and all time frames worked out, mentioned below Am Christian and OH is Christian. Someone asked if I could marry in Shariah court and I said DH will have to be a muslim then. Custody of my kids - that's a long story and I am aware of the full legal situation and in close contact with my lawyer on current situation. edited to remove personal information <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 15:39
Congratulations! Get a quick marriage, listen to all the lovely ladies who had done this. And enjoy your little present! It seems the begining of your new live. What is meant to be is meant to be! Big hug! Great post :) Indeed! Apart from loads of practical options, I have got the comfort I needed. Thanks all. Really really thanks. Here's hoping the Christ Church option works, as it looks like our only workable option for a quick wedding, given our different nationalities. Will look at Hong Kong suggestion if this doesn't work. <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 15:35
If I was in such a dilemma I would find the quickest and easiest solution and get the job done!!!!!!!!! and not be on a forum wasting precious time. edited by salsB on 08/03/2011 SalsB you had to make sure there's a rude poster here is it?? Not answerable to you but - I got good ideas here. Am in the office, so can't run around! DH is working on the Christ Church Jebel Ali option at the moment. Got a meeting with closest couple of friends tonight to work on this. Surely not wasting time, found out yest afternoon - what else do you want me to do?!? PS - Thanks AriVW <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 15:26
Is it possible just to do a quickie sharia marriage here so as not to fall afould of laws here, and then later do a formal marriage how you want. Not sure how it works, but maybe a possibility. First option I thought of, but DH will have to convert religon...
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 15:17
You have both jumped to the conclusion that I am advocating abortion. I most certainly did not! And would not to anyone else BUT I am talking about perhaps your future lies in another country as opposed to here. Not necessarily jumped to that conculsion, but your post does read that way - doesn't matter either way, but here or anywhere else is not very different if that's what you are suggesting, except here we have to get married. Of course if he found a job elsewhere we would move...I can't at the moment due to pending custody issues in Dubai courts for my kids and that for now at least I have a good job.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 15:06
Everyone gets carried away with the baby stuff but what about the realities of this situation? She may not have a job, he doesn't have a job, she has children already! (Sorry, OP, about the "she"and "he" ) Don't know your ages obviously ( maybe you are young) but I know a guy who was a "bit older" and got caught up in a situation like this and it REALLY does affect your life and not always in a positive way. edited to remove personal information. I don't see an option for us, we got pregnant and we have to deal with it. He is sensitive about an unborn child as I am, and was very affected by a late miscarriage his then wife had. Yes its going to be tough with our job situation, and we can only hope on that front. We have some savings between us that may help for a bit. Not easy but for me we have children a few born and grown up and one unborn, can't throw them away because we don't have jobs. I have no issue with anyone who decides to take a different course in the situation but its something I simply cant do. <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:06
Wishing you the very best....these things happen and obviously it's always difficult at first as the shock gets in the way of clear thinking. For my two pennorth...if you like it here and want to stay, then it sounds to me like getting married is the way to go. It might not be the wedding you;d have wanted but you can still make it lovely / special. Once you are married you can sponsor your husband and by then he might have another job. It's going to be a bureacratic merry go round, with lots of coming and going for a few months but a few years down the line that will all be forgotten. Sending you a hug! Genuinely reassuring post, in the midst of it all we sometimes forget to see the big picture and that really in the scheme of things the comings/goings all get forgotten. OH needs a bit more reminding than me and I am sending him this link. Cyclone, Purple everyone on here you guys have been lovely. Hugs and kisses. Gosh some of us EW'ers can get nasty sometimes and I am feeling nice and warm to receive your lovely messages. <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:00
Hey its looking brighter already. Thank you all so much. will keep you posted and what we decide...and don't forget my hen's night ladies! <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:28
Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? OH used to go to the Methodist Church back home - any here? He is going to check up but believes he was never baptised. Would anybody know if he can agree to be baptised now(!) and then get married here? I might have to drive up to Holy Trinity Church and check our options. Christ Church jebel Ali will marry you. you need Embassy approval (if you tell them you are pregnant they will speed this up) and divorce papers. have you considered going on holiday and getting married somewhere Isnt Christ Church a Catholic church? edited to remove personal information <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:27
Thumbs up for you! Based on what you wrote you have very right attitude to this issue and because of this you will sort it out in the best way for you. Congrats on your pregnancy! So sweet :-) OH yesterday didn't understand how I could still smile and even laugh watching 'Along came Polly' with him. Been through life and know that getting stressed and crying will not solve anything. Need a clear thinking brain!
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:22
To sum it up: Have to stay here, as I cant abandon the kids, their father is here too and the custody battle still on. Getting married then becomes a must. Don't see any quickie wedding options locally - checking other options given here such as Cyprus/Gretna...though my nationality may be a hinderance. Anybody know about non-Catholic, but Christian church weddings here? Will start calling around soon. PS - As for my job, I am going to really try to keep healthy so I am able to convince them to keep me on. Its not contractual that I was not allowed a pregnancy, just me being asked if I planned to have more kids, but it was clear what they implied. <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:17
Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting. Didn't get him very far though did they? LOL Oh oh..... did you have to remind me that? :)
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:03
Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting.
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:50
Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? OH used to go to the Methodist Church back home - any here? He is going to check up but believes he was never baptised. Would anybody know if he can agree to be baptised now(!) and then get married here? I might have to drive up to Holy Trinity Church and check our options. Maybe you should just focus on a quickie wedding rather than the whole religious thing at this point. Its not about religon, just the civil marriages require a long time, hoping a church one would be quicker..
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:48
personal info removed <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>
Chocoa
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:36
Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? edited to remove personal information <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>
 
 
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