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confusion

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Latest post on 07 January 2013 - 09:53
Happy New year Hilsbils! It WILL be a good year! :) As the other ladies have said, these friends are not worth having. You and I have been through much the same this year and my 2 'best' friends haven't been in touch and didn't even send me a Happy New Year sms, I've always been there for them (spent a fortune on calls for their 'issues' as they will never call me as too expensive) no matter what and at the worst time in my life so far they have no interest. They both have little ones and I guess they now have different priorities. Ironically they have met through me and are now best buddies! I was saddened though as thought they would be there for me given the fact they've both also had miscarriages (although never been through ivf). ANYWAY, as Nomad and Beebers say I think when you move away you outgrow them and it has certainly made me so much more appreciative of other quality friends and my small family. In fact I often think of Nomad as my parents are elderly and I am currently feeling very guilty for being away and just dread that call (as we all do). Spend your time and energy on those that matter and the rest I'm afraid to say are dead wood. I am even going home in a few weeks and not telling the afore mentioned friends - just two that matter to me and focussing on my family. As said before, please just give your situation a little time. 2013 will be a better year for so many people who had a dreadful 2012. It HAS to be! Good luck Nomad and I will pm you Hilsbils xxxx <em>edited by confusion on 07/01/2013</em>
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Latest post on 06 January 2013 - 15:29
Hi Moth I'm also sorry that I'm responding so late. I am so very sorry to hear what you have been through. I have tried natural ivf but cannot give an accurate picture for the simple reason I was unlucky as couldn't implant and my egg did not survive the freezing. Who knows what would have happened if it had...i do think I would consider it again though, just not yet. I did a lot of research about it before we decided to go for it and I like the theory behind it i.e. no drugs, the best egg your body chooses to produce and I do think this is the healthiest approach. I so know what you mean about being absolutely paralyzed with indecision and so fearful about my age (I am 41.5 eek!). Each of us is different but I hope it helps to know that you are not alone in this and I think I speak for fandrew too (hope that's ok fandrew!) when I say we have all been there and know exactly the pain and despair you are feeling. You have people here who can 'virtually' support you at anytime. It really does only take one good egg as fandrew says and, that is EXACTLY what natural ivf aims for. I say go for it! Good luck and please remember you are NEVER alone through all of this. The ladies on here have been an enormous help to me and I hope you will feel the same. xxx edited to add I couldnt transfer (not implant!) <em>edited by confusion on 06/01/2013</em>
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Latest post on 06 January 2013 - 15:05
Hi Pal has anyone mentioned DHEA to you? It apparently helps improve egg quality. Please make sure you ask your doctor about it. Good Luck to you :) xx T85 - HUGE Congratulations. As fandrew said please do not worry about the low numbers as really it is the doubling that counts. My numbers were also very high when I last miscarried so it has nothing to do with it. Just relax and be happy. Such lovely news for the new year :) xx
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Latest post on 06 January 2013 - 15:01
Hi QueenofHearts - please see main forum as have replied there. Good Luck! :) nickym1d - when do you see Dr Fakih? Good luck with that! I just KNOW 2013 is our year. For me, it's healthy eating, gentle walking, pilates and 'The Secret' all the way! :) Not that i'm thinking about it of course lol! We've told everyone we are forgetting it this year...yeah right...my head doesn't stop but as long as I keep it in there (and on here :) ) then we will be fine I guess. I have my follow up with Dr Fakih/Dr Amal this week so we may even be in the waiting room at the same time and never know! Good Luck xx
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Latest post on 06 January 2013 - 14:54
Hi Queen of Hearts. I totally understand where you are coming from as had the same reservations. Dr Ou is fully qualified and is actualy recommended by a well known Infertility clinic in Sharjah. I believe she used to be with a well known clinic in Dubai and went 'mobile' when she had her daughter (I think that was the reason). She is also recognised by my insurance providers. I agree with bubble trubble that accupuncture really can work wonders and I wish you all the very best of luck. It's a horrible situation that we are all in and seems very unfair! I would suggest you take some time looking through the Pregnancy, Babies and Toddlers section of this forum. Very best of luck to you xx
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 16:31
Thanks so much fandrew. Will call them. Totally agree re your theory on all being results driven and we actually did 3 cycles at Conceive (2 BFP's and 1 that didnt make it to transfer due hormone levels) and 2 at Fakih (1 icsi which resulted in BFP and i natural and had to have the egg frozen and it didnt survive the thaw). I have to be completely honest and say I found them BOTH to be much the same in terms of treatment. Clearly Dr Fakih is a more sophisticated clinic and everyone will have different views on the level of care but when it came down to it the care and treatment we received really was much of a muchness and with each transfer I got pregnant, sadly they just didnt make it. Fakih is more convenient for us (although more expensive) and Dr Fakih did tell us that we should have stopped taking DHEA at ovulation as can be detrimental to the eggs. I was treated by Dr Amal who I think is lovely but does need to be chased a little. I have to say though that at each clinic the lack of follow up/sharing of info has been frustrating and we have had to really educate ourselves and ask the right questions and push push push. They both just seem to be so so busy. I'd be interested to know if it's the same outside of the UAE. I really hope that helps and who knows we may have our miracles yet. Keep in touch and most of all keep looking after yoursef and your hubby...dont know what we would do without them through all of this! Thanks again for the number! xx
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 16:23
Thanks fandrew! That's really helpful :)
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 13:41
nickym1d - really sorry - it appears we just hijacked your thread. Sorry! Hope some of this info will be useful to you too!xx <em>edited by confusion on 03/01/2013</em>
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 13:37
Thanks fandrew. I have taken those in the past but had a break since the miscarriage. Will start again next week. I also took L'Arginine - 1000mg a day. May I ask where you got your DHEA please as I need some more and not currently with a doctor? Also you do know to only take that to ovulation don't you? I say that as my first doctor didn't tell me that and my next doctor was concerned to hear I had taken all the way through previously. I am a little with you in terms of organic produce and sugar etc as I am a mature 'vintage' (41) and the damage is really done. I also have low reserve and the current explanations for my miscarriages are simply down to chromosonal issues i.e. egg quality. We've decided to take a risk given my age and just relax for a year (i.e. no more IVF) and watch our diets in terms of healthy eating, no alcohol (although I stopped that anyway a year ago) and gentle exercise. I had 5 ivf's last year which was just too much and my body and mind needs a rest. If nothing happens by next year then we will re-evaluate. I am a firm believer that we can do all possible to try to make this happen but it can all be wiped out immediately if stressing about it. I am continuing to do some 'gentle' research but most importantly concentrating on me and my hubby and get our lives and my body back. Boy I have gained some demon pounds! ;) Would be lovely to catch up at some stage - dont know about you but it seems like I am surrounded by a pregnancy epidemic and at times I want to scream like a banshee! Good Luck xx
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 10:37
No problem fandrew. I suffer terribly from Anxiety at the best of times so you can only imagine what I was like when doing ivf....I was amazed how I could call Dr Ou when I literally was unable to breathe i.e. awake all night gasping for air and then she would come and work her magic and then all of a sudden I was breathing normally and relatively relaxed. If you are looking into the herbs/supplement side of things I would be very grateful if you could share any findings please. I also happened upon a good website yesterday that you may find interesting...it mentions a few issues that I think you share with me. I have ALL the books and so much info but I did like this site. Take a look and GOOD LUCK xx www.natural-fertility-info.com
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 09:50
Hi nickym1d Dr Ou. Extremely knowledgeable re fertility treatment and is amazing (in my opinion). She will come to your home and is very flexible. 050 6328378. Wishing you the VERY best. x
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Latest post on 29 December 2012 - 19:54
Hello my old virtual 'friend' Hilsbils :) I am so very sad to read your post and so hope things get better for you. As you may know, we have had a very similar journey, I have had several ivf's and just miscarried once again and both of us are absolutely heartbroken as I am the same age as you and I so feel the despair and utter desperation you have right now. I also have to add at this point that I have really discovered who my 'friends' are. These situations are a real eye opener so I totally relate to your issues there too. I do think though that it is still to early for either of you to be rushing into the 'next step' decisions. I reacted in exactly the same way recently and then sat back and decided that we have had a year of treatment and heartache and all consuming ivf in our lives and whilst yes, I will be 42 next year, we HAVE to take some time off and step back and re-evaluate. I am very fortunate that my DH has supported everything I want so far but when he asked me to please take a break for the sake of our relationship, my body and my mind, I knew that even he he was on the edge of losing the plot with all this and I totally understand that. Please do not make any rash decisions as yet as whilst every minute feels like a lifetime when you are doing IVF (particularly when older) it really is still very early days. I agree very strongly with fandrew who advises that you take a step back and re-connect with each other without baby talk and 'what-ifs'. Like you, I have been through every alternative scenario in my head but the one thing I have decided is that it is too early to make a decision. We all hear the stories about things taking a turn when we start to relax and maybe they will and maybe they won't but you have been through so much, you owe it to yourself and your DH to try. The other options will still be there in 6-12 months. Why not make 2013 a year for you and him and see what happens? You can but try. I go away tonight but I have your details and will be in touch next week. Thinking of you and adding you to my prayers. Things will turn out well in the end and remember if they don't......then it's not the end. Hugs.xxxxxxxx
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 19:18
Thanks fandrew. Good luck to you. I would definitely be interested in hearing about the other clinics too. Kooky - you have made my day :)
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 19:01
I would also like to say how great the posts from the other lovely ladies on here have just made myself and my hubby feel. I read them to him as he is already convinced a break will 'help' us. If nothing else this gives us a little ray of hope that miracles can and my happen - even to an old croc like me. ;) Thank you all.xx
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 18:59
Hi fandrew I am sorry to hear of the anguish you are currently going through and I say that most sincerely as I really can relate to it having been through multiple cycles of ivf myself here in Dubai with 2 clinics. I won't bore you with my detailed history but I have got pregnant 3 times (2 with Conceive and 1 with Fakih) but sadly chemical pregnancy & miscarriages. It is so confusing (hence my name!) as to what to do next and even harder when time is not on our side (I am 41). I have very recently miscarried and it hit me very very hard this time and I do strongly believe now though that I have to give my body and mind a rest. I also have to give my husband a rest as it's easy to forget the stress it puts on them too. It is a heartbreaking and stressful process and I dont think anyone has any idea at all until they go through it - I certainly didn't. I for one plan on having a break now and looking after myself and my amazing husband despite the nagging 'I have no time left' feeling. I feel there really is no other way. I want to embrace 2013 as a fresh start and a new year - I just wish that didnt mean an additional year to my 'vintage' either lol. If ever you fancy a chat let me know - it's a tough situation and it's good to talk to people who have been/are there. I met the most amazing friend through this site and without her I think I would have crumbled over the last couple of months. Take care of yourself and if you celebrate Christmas just concentrate on enjoying it and taking that rare chance to eat and drink what you like! :) xxx
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Latest post on 08 December 2012 - 21:26
Thanks nicky1md. I think we have spoken on another forum. Would love to catch up properly. Babylover I'm sure you could do with a catch up too. Let's get through this horrible time (as it will pass I promise). Let's try soon. Good luck both xxx
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Latest post on 06 December 2012 - 14:26
T85 - Good Luck. Dr Amal is absolutely amazing and you could not be in better hands in my opinion.xx
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Latest post on 06 December 2012 - 14:24
Bablylover I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel as I have today had it confirmed that I will also possibly have to have a d&c next week after ivf as my baby is not growing. This will be my 3rd ivf pregnancy and sadly none of them have made it. I originally wanted to avoid posting to you as didnt want you to feel disheartened by my story. However, after speaking with the doctor today I want to confirm exactly what asoheir says, the chances of miscarriage are DEFINITELY NOT higher with ivf they are just more detectable due to the monitoring we have. I have had this confirmed now by THREE doctors. I so understand your pain and wish we didnt have to go through this heartache but the fact remains IVF DID work for you so now it all depends on whether you have the strength to continue. I hope you do as there really has to be some good eventually from all this hurt. Sending you very warm wishes and hugs xx
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Latest post on 27 November 2012 - 08:24
Thanks very much ladies. Rasalala, is there some way my friend can pm you at all? Thank you. Really grateful.
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Latest post on 26 November 2012 - 18:22
Hello I know that I should be on the other board but am concerned as to how many people from RAK may be on there so apologies! A friend of mine is coming to the UAE (hurrah!) but will be living in RAK. She wants to know of a good gynie who does appointments after 5 (she will be working 8-5). Any recommendations please? Thank you
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Latest post on 25 November 2012 - 15:09
Hi Quicksilver6 I would agree with PlumTree about being better to actually work. I have a very demanding job and initally I told one of my colleagues and this was a real help. As time went on I have actually let my team know as I was quite conscious that as the manager I was coming in 30mins late here and there in the mornings when I had been for scans and tests at Conceive (I would get there as soon as the doors open and be back at my desk for 930) and I was concerned about perception despite the fact I always work well into the evening! I also found that the fact there was an awareness has actually been very supportive for me. As you've probably guessed, I have cycled at both Conceive and Fakih. I took holiday days for Egg Collection and Egg Transfer (1 day each) and had all my appointments in the early morning at Conceive. Even better at Fakih I was able to do early morning bloods and lunchtime scans and found Dr Ammal so accommodating as she would always be worrying about me gettng back to work! :) I would say if you can and if you have the time, try and take a few days off after transfer just to really give yourself the best chance. Conceive dont believe this is necessary but Fakih do advise it and to be honest I will do all I possibly can to help the process. Also, I always went to Conceive on a Friday morning and to Fakih on a Saturday which was a real help. In my ideal world I would be free of the work stress during this period of my life as I have felt at times as though I would crumble. However, overall it has been a great distraction and hey when doing all this and throwing all our money into it, we can't afford a holiday so why not use all the days off to try and get our miracle! :) Wishing you lots and lots of luck. I do hope you get your little bundle xxx
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Latest post on 08 November 2012 - 10:47
How uplifting (not) for those of us going through a very difficult process and needing all the positivity we can get. Thanks OP.
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Latest post on 07 November 2012 - 12:56
Such lovely news che731. Wishing you all the very best. Congratulations :)xx
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Latest post on 07 November 2012 - 12:55
Hi Zoco As somebody who has also considered this to be the end of the road after a very tough year of ivf I can only echo what Dallydoo says. All is NOT lost and there are other options to consider - when you are ready. I also get the impression that you have time on your side which is an advantage. Best of luck and big hugs. This is the most heartbreaking process when it goes wrong but the reward when it goes to plan will be so worth it. Well that's what I keep praying for anyway. Take good care of yourself.xxx
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Latest post on 05 November 2012 - 10:28
Dr OU - mentioned on here a lot and I have used her for a year. She is amazing and visits the home 050 6328378. :)
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Latest post on 21 October 2012 - 10:32
Hi Hendy Just wondering what happened in the end? Am so hoping you found him a home and he didnt have to be put to sleep.
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Latest post on 18 October 2012 - 19:43
Fantastic result Zoco!! Wow that's an a amazing number! Likely that you had the antibiotic via your canula as tabby cat said as I have on each occasion. Wishing you all the best :) Enjoy your weekend and relax. What a fabulous result! :)x
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Latest post on 18 October 2012 - 17:36
Hey Zoco. Just to let you know I've been thinking of you today. I really hope it all went well and that you are now chilled and relaxing. :) xx
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Latest post on 17 October 2012 - 17:27
to dump a domesticated animal on the street because you do not believe in euthanasia is turning your back on the cat. You are saying go and fend and I hope you do not starve or another cat beats you to death, or that you get injured and die a very slow, painful death, but go ahead and put the cat out with food and water and hope for the best. I do not agree and will never agree with this kind of thinking. Why do you think there are so many rescue organizations trying to rehome, take care of all the animals that people have dumped because they do not fit in with their family rather than trying to home them aggressively first or taking the responsibility of the cats life. We must stop thinking that animals are expendable and we can just leave them :(....the feral cats on the street live there, used to living there, can take care of themselves for the most part. Domesticated cats or dogs cannot live because they are not street smart. If people do not believe in euthanasia I respect that completely! you have your beliefs. I do not believe in putting an animal out on the street to fend for themselves when they have been loved and taken care of, fed......there are many on this board who feel this way and we are on the front lines, picking up the dead, or abused or starving animals who have been let out to fend for themselves, people who move and leave their animal sitting on the porch waiting for their family to come and get them :(......so not for one minute think that this is alright. You take responsibility for an animal for life not in the hoped it will be alright when you abandon it :( I have reread what I have written a few times before I posted. I would not change a thing I have written, and yes, It angers me so this was partially written with the knowledge of what happens that those that dump animals rarely see, because....they do not look :( edited by SueB on 17/10/2012 Well said SueB.
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Latest post on 17 October 2012 - 17:17
Allowicious, thank god for our lovely DH's through all this!! I also have one ovary working and it sounds to me like you are doing really well in terms of the number of follicles. Good Luck to both of you. Zoco - please let us know how it goes. Will be thinking of you in the morning. :) xxx
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Latest post on 16 October 2012 - 13:28
Poppy82. I am afraid I dont have experience of an eptopic but I can totally get how you are feeling as also have a due date looming and all around me seem to be pregnant. Please don't give up hope. Your little one will be with you soon. Sending you big hugs and thinking of you. I cannot recommend anyone but I do have a good friend who has a lot of faith in Dr Sant too. xxx
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Latest post on 16 October 2012 - 12:55
I hear you about the washing Hilsbils - in fact that was the bit I was dreading last time as am so ticklish but I was out for the count at that point. Particularly comfy stirrups at Fakih too I must say ;)
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Latest post on 16 October 2012 - 12:52
Hello Zoco. Welcome to the wonderful world of ivf :) I have gone through IVF a few times this year and your feelings are TOTALLY normal. I recall someone telling me it was a rollercoaster of a jounrney and I almost scoffed in their face as thought I'd be fine.....needless to say I wasn't as the emotional impact is massive! These feelings you are having are so normal, your hormones are all over the place and you want this so so badly - it would be a miracle not to feel emotional! In fact I am surprised I have not been sectioned/ended up in the divorce courts on several occasions this year lol! As for the retrieval, I recall being so scared about the procedure and I can PROMISE you you have nothing to worry about. Where are you having your treatment? I have cycled at Conceive and now at Fakih. I have to say that on each of my retrievals (4 in total now as only made it to transfer twice) I have felt nothing at either clinic and although was told to bedrest the same day I felt a little like a fraud. The only uncomfortable bit I found was the canula going in and that takes a split second. PLEASE do not panic about it, I promise you it will be fine and you have to focus on the fact that stress is not welcome at this party! Please let me know if you have ANY other questions and remember you are being pumped with hormones so no wonder the emotions are a little 'rocky'. Sending you lost of poitive vibes and thinking of you. :) Hugs xxx
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Latest post on 15 October 2012 - 16:03
I am currently with them under Dr Ammal. I do hear what you are saying but I do not think they are any more disorganised than Conceive - that's just my personal opinion. I think in this situation though you have to really keep on top of your own situation and not be afraid to push. The situation is too precious. Good Luck everyone xx
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Latest post on 15 October 2012 - 13:40
Oh northeragain I do empathise. I do have a job yet still feel very lonely (at work) and also very unfulfilled. I have a stressfull job which I hate and have no friends at work but thank god that I have a great DH to come home to who reassures me that just right now this is a means to an end and not forever. All too often lately I wonder what on earth we are doing here but I live in hope that it will 'get better'. It has to. Cherish the time with your little one and just know that the grass is so not greener on the other side. Sorry I can't be more 'motivational' but I know how hard it is to spark up the enthusiasm to motivate yourself. Sending you hugs xxx
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Latest post on 04 October 2012 - 15:52
Oh Hilsbils. Am so so very sorry. I was so saddened to read your post and have tears in my eyes as writing this. I have been wondering how you were and so hoped not to read anything like this. This is such a horrible time for you both but you will get through it. As others have said keep strong and be kind to yourself. Above all else please dont give up. Sending you lots of love and hugs xx
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Latest post on 13 September 2012 - 18:23
Hilsbils - this is such great news. :) have been thinking about you this week and kept meaning to post but been so busy. Please just take care now and stop worrying about the exercise etc. It's a hard journey to get to the point you have go to so cherish where you are and yourself and 'blobby'. Now relax and have a lovely weekend! :) Please keep the 40+ success stories rolling in ladies - am holding on to every positive story/vibe I can get to keep me going and Hilsbils is one great example! :) Please keep them coming!!
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Latest post on 05 September 2012 - 17:18
Bubble_trubble - you just made my day. Thank you :) xxx
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Latest post on 04 September 2012 - 23:19
I do find that people tend to be a lot more forward or should I say 'obnoxious' (or braver than they would be at home) once they land in this town and the rudeness I witness in so many situations horrifies me so I am guessing these are 2 people who have adapted to this right of speaking to people in such a way very easily. I say let them be and concentrate on your lovely little one. They should go elsewhere for a quiet chat as already mentioned Tim Horton's is really not the place. Let's hope the deprived souls find somewhere quieter next time ;)
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Latest post on 04 September 2012 - 21:31
Thanks for the kind words Flower33. My flushes are also after the IVF cycles - apparently due to being supressed. Thanks again for the kind prayers Flower33. They worked for you and I know they will work for me :) xxxx
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Latest post on 04 September 2012 - 12:56
Hi Tinkerbell Thanks so much for that reply. Mine are also really severe and have just a few minutes ago gone from completely dripping (nice!) to shivering. It's just plain horrible! I have contacted my accupuncturist who is now back from holiday as do think she will be able to help me. It has now been 60 odd days without an 'AF' and it's driving me crazy as my body now feels like a complete wreck. Our patience WILL be rewarded Tinkerbell.....it has to be as that thought is all that keep sme going whilst it seems everybody around me is sporting bumps! I turn that into a positive thought and hope it will be our turn soon! :) Babydust back and let's hang on in there xxxxx
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Latest post on 31 August 2012 - 12:01
Hello allowicious. Its definitely IVF too. Up to 17k usd. Good luck. Keep me posted!xx
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Latest post on 30 August 2012 - 12:54
Hello. Am just wondering if anyone has ever experienced severe hot flushes after a controlled ivf cycle? My last IVF was back in May/June and resulted in a checmical pregnancy followed by a cycle in July. However, my original doc is away now and an alternative one has said that since my cycle date has been v severely delayed (nothing since early July and I am not pg), and tests indicate that I am definitely not pre-menopausal and no thyroid issues but I have very very low estrogen levels this may mean that my system is still supressed from when the controlled ivf cycle was started!! Just wondering if anyone else has been through this and if they have any tips? I get them during the day and the night and am having severe sleeping issues and weight gain plus I need things to 'happen' so we can get started again. Feeling in a bit of mess and more than a little fed up now! Thanks ladies and have a great weekend.
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Latest post on 23 August 2012 - 09:44
End of 7 week mark sounds just great, yes I know all those emotions and think discussing the 'what-ifs' is a natural instinct, however, here you are and no need to!! :) Now you can have a lovely weekend and relax and look after yourself and look forward to holding that much wanted bubba in your arms. Take good care of yourself xx
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Latest post on 23 August 2012 - 09:35
Would be so lovely if multiples Hilsbils but even if not you are so so blessed. When is your first scan?xx
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Latest post on 22 August 2012 - 22:12
Oh wow wow wow Hilsbils!! Am SO thrilled for you!! Such wonderful and uplifting news! HUGE Congrats from me! Absolutely fantastic!! Sending you massive hugs :) xxxxx
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Latest post on 22 August 2012 - 18:38
Hey Tashabegood - did you start your treatment yet?
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Latest post on 22 August 2012 - 16:29
Thinking of you today Hilsbils. Have everything crossed for you. Not long to wait now!xxx
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Latest post on 21 August 2012 - 22:06
Hello. Yes, I am back from hols :) Just try and think one step at a time and not too much into the future! Keep positive for tomorrow. :) Remember IVF plays havoc with the old emotions! xxx
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Latest post on 21 August 2012 - 19:52
Hi ladies I concurr with Hilsbils with costs etc. All much of a muchness really and generaly between 24-28k (that also applies to DGFC from what I know). Allianz Arab Orient do also cover fertility. BEST of luck to everyone. We WILL have our little bundles I just KNOW it! :) xxx