DesertRose1958 | ExpatWoman.com
 

DesertRose1958

DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 16:20
Go to a money exchange and tell them you want to do a telegraphic transfer to you uk account. They will need your name, account number, bank name and address, sort code, iban number, swift number. They will tell you which of the latter 3 is required.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 15:23
There's also this one that I frequented when it first started. Its more child specific than the other forum link which caters for a very wide age range. board.asdfriendly.org <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 13:32
As strange as it seems the whole procedure was relaxing. I had local anaesthetia and such is the calm in the theatre I dosed off a few times. There was nothing gruesome going on but when you're eyelid is being cauterised could be a bit of a shock for the merest of seconds. In brief - you can smell the burning. Price wise it wouldn't be fair to comment because mine was done abt 4 years ago. However it was about 11k dirhams in those days. I think it would be good to see Wayne before talking to your husband because until you see him you dont know what procedure you will need done. You can probably pay for a stand alone consultation and that way you're husband cant ask questions you cant answer money wise.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 11:49
There really is very little difference between the two to the extent that some say there is none. However a diagnosis of one or the other generally takes into account the age at which the person started to talk. Was there a delay or not. http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/high-functioning-autism-and-asperger-syndrome-whats-the-difference.aspx <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 09:48
Yes. I did. I had a lump on an eyelid that was growing and could only be removed surgically and as a result I had to have an upper eyelid job done....on both eyes to make me look even so to speak. The result really was fantastic and people assumed I had been sleeping well, and nothing else. :D It was a really simple procedure and I was awake throughout. Dr Smith really is excellent at what he does. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 08:38
This is the forum I mentioned, its quite unusual in that it has many HF posters who are on the spectrum rather than it being a forum only for parents, or those on the spectrum, as is usually the case. It also has posters who are either married to someone on the spectrum or who are on the spectrum themselves. I think it might help to have a read of the boards, you may also pick up some helpful stuff re being the mum of someone on the spectrum as I am. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/ <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 08:13
I would google Dr Wayne Smith.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 07:33
Kiwi, you said "It is society that complicates breastfeeding, imposing so many restrictions on when, where, how often and for how long. If women felt confident and supported to breastfeed where ever, whenever their babies asked for milk then I suspect breastfeeding rates would be much much higher." Personally, as a breastfeeder and a granny of breastfed children I think the breastapo are more than able enough themselves to put women off breastfeeding. They dont really need much help from society in general to do it because some of these women can be so zealous they're enough to turn a persons milk ;) let alone just put them off breastfeeding full stop. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 July 2013 - 07:14
Dear desert rose. Thank u for the link. Will get to read on adult relationships with ASD maybe I get better perspective. You asked me if I accommodate? Well I accepted many things because I know it annoys him.loud noise, parties, big groups, talking, showing sentiments, laughing, ... But I can't go on like this anymore. What's mainly upsetting me is that why did he show me a different person when we were going out together and once married ,stop making effort ? And if he can't be any different on how he is programmed ,does that mean I have to love him the way he is ? I mean,how do we love someone,isn't it by reciprocating the emotions? if someone tells us they love us but can't show it, is that enough ? Tired, I don't know why your husband was able to show you a different person when you were courting because to do so your husband would have had to set out to deliberately deceive you in the sense deceit means - and Im not sure that is part of the autistic psyche. I think its more likely that he has learned over the years that in x y or z situation this is what people do - so he did it, but keeping it up hasn't been possible. Then there is your part in the courtship - I think there had to be signs that were overlooked at the time because you were concentrating on the moment so to speak, but once you were married you could see what had been there all along. Perhaps the symptoms of the autism were more obvious after marriage because of the new situation your husband was in given how a change in routine or circumstances can affect those on the spectrum. But did you husband go to bed one night and wake up a different person the next day so to speak - no, I don't think he did. You gave examples of how your husband always having something to worry about - again very normal due to how scary the NT world can be to a person on the spectrum even when they are HF. On top of that there is the fact people on the spectrum can be quite obsessive about things and once an idea catches hold it can be there forever and cause them great distress. Not being ambitious - again it can go hand in hand with an ASD for a whole host of reason that aren't really anything to do with the traditional reasons for not being ambitious. When you posted you knew your husband was on the spectrum but you rather unfairly failed to mention it and I think its only sheer luck that none of our more husband bashing posters replied to you because they would have gone to town on him. It would have been so unfair and you would have perhaps gone away thinking aha he really is a swine, and Im entirely justified in my thoughts. But he's not a miserable swine in the traditional sense, he's autistic and you now acknowledging this puts an entirely different slant on your original post and any answer a person should give. When I asked if you accommodated your husbands autism I also meant when you look at him and deal with him as he is, do you think 'triad of impairments' or 'sensory issues' for eg, and what is the driving force behind the behavior or attitude. Do you know why he cant cope with certain things, would knowing why he does certain things help you to deal more with your life on a day to day basis? Your daughter is going to face the same difficulties as her dad, more if she is at the more severe end of the spectrum, and the reality is that every time you look at her you will have to analyze how she is presenting at that moment and put things in place to help her cope in the world. Has your husband ever had that or has he gone through life as an undiagnosed person on the spectrum? Do you have to love your husband the way he is - many do. I don't for a minute think it would be easy and for sure it would mean a lot of self sacrifice on an emotional level, but yes, there are many marriages where one of the couple is on the spectrum and they are loved by their spouse. How do we love someone if they cant reciprocate the emotions - perhaps by truly getting to grips with why they cant and seeing if its something you can live with? You need specialist help and advice that you're not going to get here, you need ASD specific help even if its just to help you and your husband break up because of his ASD. You would need that in order to go forward as the ex wife of someone on the spectrum and not the ex wife of a swine so to speak, and your husband would need it in order to come to terms with another broken marriage because of his ASD. It might just all be the start of the help he needs because one thing is for sure his ASD is impacting on his life (and that of those around him, extended family included) in a very big way. Culturally do you and your husband come from a background where there would be more understanding of something like ASD, or is it something that would be viewed with more of an 'old fashioned' approach so to speak? What does your husbands family make of him? I really do feel for you, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to live with two people who are on the spectrum, but at the same time I also feel for your husband because no matter how hard it is for us at times when a loved one is on the spectrum - its always more difficult for them. edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 July 2013 - 19:09
www.jkp.com Hopefully the link will work.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 July 2013 - 19:05
Tired33, I thought your daughter having development delays and your husband being the way he is was too much of a co-incidence for it to mean ASD wasn't a distinct possibility. This is a link to what is probably the best stockist and publisher of books ASD related and their catalogue contains many publications relevant to marriage when someone is on the spectrum, and ASD from an adult perspective. It really is very commmon for adults to go through life without a diagnosis then realise when their child is being diagnosed, that they are also on the spectrum. For a lot of people an awful lot falls into place. It has happened to two of my friends who like me have a child on the spectrum. If it's not being too nosey.....do you live as a woman who's husband is on the spectrum and put things in place to accommodate the ASD or is it something that is there and not accommodated? Does your husband try at all to do things the NT at all or does he carry on regardless. Even with the spectrum present there should be some give and take. The whole scenario just sounds so hard and sad, but who could blame you if you cant help your husband with his ASD because you are perhaps wrung out helping your daughter. I hope that whatever way you go forward in this, you only do so after you've both had the right kind of help and support with this very sad situation. There is also a uk based forum called aspergers uk that you may find invaluable support wise. WWW.JKP.COM Hth
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 July 2013 - 08:31
Tired 33, no its not normal, and I would want to properly get to the bottom of it before laying the blame at the door of depression or him just being a miserable person in general. Your husband says he isn't going to change, he's quite adamant about this and it makes me wonder if he can't and he knows he can't. Then there's the emotional stuff, or rather the lack of it , the no socializing - as well as other things in your post that make me want to ask if your husband could be on the autistic spectrum and he cant help being who he is in your marriage? Is this a possibility?
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 July 2013 - 08:09
your breast milk will only be as nutritious as the foods you eat. If you want to continue to breastfeed then you also must make sure your own diet is 100% nutritionally sound for your child. If your child is getting all his nutrients from the whole clean foods he eats then breast milk in later years becomes more an emotional latch for both mother and child :) It has also been proven that humans do not need milk after breast feeding :)....so, who are we really to believe? God knows Sue but its obvious that breast feeding is no longer a case of whipping out a booby and getting on with it as it was years ago. Its all so involved nowadays Im not surprised people are scared away from it in general. It must feel to some new mums like a monumental almost impossible thing to do and the reality is that we have other women to blame for it.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 27 July 2013 - 15:01
The Red Tent - though its kind of based on a true story and not really fiction per se. :)
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 27 July 2013 - 14:58
The longest I breast fed for was 2 years and 9 months and I think it was on feasible as nutrition because my daughter was eating a well balanced diet. I think if you are sure your child is getting all she needs nutritionally then carry on but I dont see any harm in a top up feed of formula just to make sure. Another thing is......is your daughter comforting at the breast or actually feeding. If you were to express for the length of a feed how much milk would be produced.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 25 July 2013 - 20:00
We had all of ours removed as well because it was just so hard to keep looking lovely and like you we've now got artificial grass - I wish I had put it down sooner. Its so lifelike looking that people will actually take a shoe off and rub a foot along it to test it, or they bend down to give it a feel. and the savings on water - unbelievable Its fab, just fab.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 25 July 2013 - 12:48
The DofC is tall and had more than enough length in her torso to carry a large baby very neatly. And besides that perhaps her tummy was all baby and minimum amniotic fluid. As for her having her hands under her tummy to accentuate it.....nah, it was just a habit she developed over nine months. She came across really well in the interview, happy, vulnerable, bewildered, shaky, emotional, almost tearful at one stage.....just like the rest of us when we've had a baby. And Prince William - he was just wonderful as her protector even though he was probably feeling as upside down as she was.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 July 2013 - 17:03
I was in france last week and the temp wasn't up to 31 during the day but down to 19 by 10pm. The latter was the best part of the day. I was just so hot at any other time - we didnt have ac's. Sleeping was difficult and not just because the windows didnt have fly screens and if you slept with them open you had finger sized things flying in for a visit in the night. I left my daughter and family there and my daughter told me today she went down with heat exhaustion the day before last and still isnt feeling too well.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 July 2013 - 16:10
Whether the practice is human trafficking or not is open to debate and a person really does have to come to their own conclusions about it. That is the bottom line. Is it legal...who knows? Does it go on even if its not? Yes. Does it really matter if its legal or not? Well surely that only matters if a person is going to do it, if the person finds it ok morally, because its only then the person would have to worry about the legality of it. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 23/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 July 2013 - 14:41
I dont understand your continuing questions and all the more-so because its not even you who wants to employ the maid. This is the bottom line - your friend either pays up if she wants this particular maid, or she doesnt if she thinks it will make her a human trafficker. Either way the present employer is calling the shots and no amount of posts here about the morality of the situation will change things. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 23/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 July 2013 - 07:03
The Sifawy can be very hit and miss on a day so caution would be advised. The Dive Center really isn't a resort, its a place where people go to learn to dive, or dive from. The beach is open to anyone, you just pay a few rials admission fee and its not a place I would take anyone considering how much the toilets smell of urine. Its the way it was built - with cess pits which are now old and needing replaced. But apart from that the toilets and changing rooms just never seem to be clean, even allowing for sand being brought in from the beach etc. The pool - not always available to use due to the dive lessons going on in it. The food - grimmer than grim. The accommodation consists of large Barasti huts on the beach, there are no rooms etc to choose from. Its just not that kind of place. Resort wise, Muscat doesn't really do them but there is a place called The Millenium Resort in Mussanah that might be of interest to you.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 July 2013 - 00:10
No its not legal but it goes on and the 12,000 quoted would cover the present employer bringing a new maid. My agency fee for my latest maid who arrived in Oman a few days ago was 1100 rials so 12,000 sounds about right if a person is willing to get involved in the practice. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 23/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 July 2013 - 23:45
Just wonderful and all the more-so because they had a good few hours as family before breaking the news to the rest of us. A really good day indeed - here's to a happy and healthy life for the little one.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 July 2013 - 15:29
I have just this minute booked the collingham apartments for a weekend in September. They have a three bedroom, 2 bathroom apt which is good when travelling with my boy.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 July 2013 - 12:08
Ive been checking the news every few days now and the day I go back to bed for a lie in, I miss the excitement. That will teach me next time :) Anyway, here's to Kate with best wishes for a speedy, safe, and not so ouchy labour.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 21 July 2013 - 23:12
Are foreigners married to locals still considered expats? Mhmm I don't know. I know that 'here at home' I'm not considered an expat and I don't consider myself an expat, but there is nothing about me to look at that would give my background away. I look like all the other British middle aged women who are out and about. Am I local? No because there isn't a drop of local blood in me. However this is where my heart is, its where I'm meant to be, and if I said to people I wasn't local because I wasn't born here they would say that's not true, you are one of us. I do feel like a local but its very much from the heart and not from outward appearances or travel documents, and that's the beauty of the locals I love so much, they accepted me for who I am and there is never a day goes by that I'm not happy to be here amongst them. Am Ian expat in my DXb life - yes because I still don't know where I am most of the time despite the role DXB plays in our life. I really just cant do DXB. I'm like a fish out of water and I frequently get lost or have meltdowns when out because it exhausts me so much. And lets face it my husband is a foreigner in DXB also and not really much good for anything. :D <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 21/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 21 July 2013 - 22:30
Is it just me or why do I feel that this forum is less and less an expat forum for expat women? Where is the solidarity and sisterhood compassion? I think some of you might understand what I mean... I understand what you mean but the reality is that expats come in all shapes and sizes and just because you may not think a person is an expat because they are perhaps rather different from you - the reality is that they are. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 21/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 21 July 2013 - 14:07
So, I put a comment on her album saying that my invitation had probably got lost, and some other people put other comments. She replied saying, "thanks for the comments, it was a great party, but unfortunately we could not invite everyone, next time". So, it looks like she has a lot of people to invite and that is ok for me, I dont expect people not to have other friends, but we are part of a small group and everyone else got invited. Also, she keeps saying we are a family, and even invited us to ther son's wedding back home because she told us we are close friends, so I guess we are no close friends after all, and I still think it was rude not to invite us....Good to know we were stand.....and move on.... My daughter recently showed me a thread on mumsnet that discussed this kind of thing and it was truly an eye opener. I think you're right to move on from the group because I suspect that you might just bother this lady and there is a good chance she is trying to nudge you out for the simple reason - she is jealous of you and your position in the group with the others.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 20 July 2013 - 16:29
I have never been invited to a 'simple' iftar. Although lavish is not encouraged during Ramadan, it is for hosting. I would offer a few choices of main courses and desserts. Definitely soup and dates and pastries, not one kind, but an assortment. You can buy these ready made. Yoghurt/Laban. Fresh fruit. As mrsb said, have a few plates of the same dish dotted around, so that everyone can help themselves. Yes I would agree with this entirely, but as someone else has said no one would be critical if there wasnt quite an assortment of dishes. Another thing though is the buying in of food for guests. For me this is a big no no and I would prefer to offer just a few dishes that had been prepared in the home by me rather than mass produced somewhere else.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 17 July 2013 - 22:23
I have recently met quite a large group of ladies and NONE of them give their maids a day off. Some of you reading this may also do the same. Please remember that all of us need some personal time, to read, watch a movie, Skype, rest, whatever they want to do... During the Holy Month, please be kind to your maid. I love my job, but I don't want to do it 24/7 and I am sure nobody else does. Pay it forward and be kind. Please. Ramadan Kareem. You do realise that those employers who don't give their maid a break have read your message and said something along the lines of......oh do go away Snugs. Well that's the polite version of it
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 July 2013 - 14:01
To help my family through their lives. It really is as simple as that. Nothing else matters really.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 July 2013 - 09:59
He only did it because he could. Yes. I have to agree with this. And the only thing he would have left my house with would have been my foot up his backside. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 13/07/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 09 July 2013 - 12:10
I think that 2 weeks in isnt really long enough for someone to be here and to get sorted, but at the same time you should be drawing a line that he can't cross. And whilst I totally understand being covered in a persons presence I would be telling him to avert his eyes rather than add any more clothes to a form that is probably conservatively dressed anyway. I would be going along the lines of but why should I cover......he is your brother, am I not safe from his thoughts even in my own home. Im a great believer in extended family living due to how I was brought up but it should never be at the expense of the comfort of woman of the house. If a woman cant live in peace if heart and mind in her own home she has nothing in life.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 02 July 2013 - 05:10
Snugs, I think your sons good fortune and recovery was down to a good Dr on the day and nothing to do with Private versus NHS care, or geography. My friends son recently had gold standard treatment for Kawasaki disease at a Norfolk NHS hospital, yet a lady I know here had the same illness missed in her child and his outcome has been very different with her little boy being left with a heart condition. Anyway, back to broken Britain. I don't understand when people say they would never go back and I often wonder what they would do in an emergency. Would they really say to an embassy official arranging evacuation - me - go back to the Uk - not blooming likely. I think in lots of ways the UK is a bit of a crazy mixed up place but its still a great country. Mind you though, knowing how hard visa procedures can be in order to get people there, I can't for the life of me understand how these medical tourists/ dodgy visitors get there in the first place. And for those who do get a visa - why can't it be that medical insurance has to be bought as part of the visa procedure?
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 01 July 2013 - 09:16
Wow, if this is true and a maid can indeed do some work in a friends house, this opens a world of opportunities. My maid is in the same boat as Cleo's. On our full time live-out sponsorship but with only a few days work to do. Like Cleo's she is not moonlighting because her job is too good to be true. But I do have friends that could use an occasional hand. edited by Oopsiedaisy on 30/06/2013 I'm sorry but there is no such thing as 'a too good to be true job' when it comes to these ladies providing for their family. It can be very much a case of opportunity knocks.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 June 2013 - 11:24
Just relax at home with her.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 June 2013 - 08:03
Can you leave some contact details pls. I can recommend someone very highly.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 12:53
Don't worry DR, I'm not offended at all. The different points of view are the great thing about this forum and I've learnt a lot about this region from your posts especially. I really enjoy Ramadan here and use it as a time to talk to my children about Islam and about helping others less fortunate. I want them to see Ramadan as a nice time and if I told them we weren't going out for the duration, they wouldn't enjoy it at all. We normally go away for half of Ramadan as whilst I do enjoy it, it can be tricky with the little ones and I do hate the thought of offending anyone, especially our hosts who as you say, are so gracious. I do hope I won't offend you, or anyone else if you see my lite ones tucked in to a quiet corner eating their sandwiches :) thank goodness :) You know, the problem with commenting is that somewhere in a thread someone is sure to have said the thread equivalent of 'oh we take a packed lunch, or don't or you'll get clobbered on the head', or something else that can be taken in a 'oh she must be referring to me' kind of thing when it really is just a general comment. Lets face it, if a person went through threads and though oh I cant mention this that or the other because so and so said such and such there wouldn't be any threads. I post and hope that people reading things think to themselves nah she wouldn't say that to hurt me, or she's been around these parts for a long time and survived, or - well if she is saying it maybe its something we can think about. I also do the same with my in laws when the shoe is on the other foot so to speak. And for sure I wouldn't be offended because they are children - and that really is the bottom line. But besides that it really isn't just mums of young children who do the packed lunch outings and that's what I didn't think I had to mention - I thought people would just know what I meant. Its a minefield I tell you, a minefield :D
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 10:16
Daza, you were on my mind when I commented because you come across as a very nice woman, as well as a good expat. I would hate to offend or upset you and I apologise if I did, or if what I say next does. I had children very close together, as did my daughter, I do understand what you're saying but even as a non faster I do think that just for a few weeks people can adapt their lifestyle just for the sake of the spirit of things. People in this part of the world make loads of concessions for the expats amongst them and I think its very much a case of concession/goodwill/the spirit of things etc being a two way street. Peace :) <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 29/06/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 07:29
If everyone is legally obliged to fast, where is the sacrifice? edited by simpleasabc on 29/06/2013 Someone commented on EW scare stories regarding living in the region and I'll admit to some of the comments scaring me as well despite the fact I've lived here for a life time. Simples, those who are fasting are usually in their own zone, and are to affected by everyone else fasting or nobody else fasting, they are mentally where they want to be, so just because everyone else is doing it will not make it easier. In the case of children, I think it is nicer to assist them by refraining. DR as for the scare mongering, it was in fact my own sister who was clobbered over the head , BUT it was in Sharjah and during the 80's. she bent down to give her baby in the stroller a sip of his water and took a swig herself, she was clearly pregnant, and a policeman gave her a whack over the head with a truncheon. She knew it was illegal to drink in public so was not so shocked. Anne, that's not the scare mongering I was referring to - it was a general scare mongering. Truth be told I'd not really picked up your post about clobbering, well I had but it didn't register so to speak but not for any adverse reason. I have a feeling this is going to be one of my posts where I try to explain and end up not explaining in a good way. :D <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 29/06/2013</em>
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Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 07:09
Where did your thread go yesterday? I thought that it was very informative and an interesting point to think about. No idea I suspect people got too bitchy and it was taken down by Admin. And quite rightly so, and not just because I was trying really hard to not post and say 'please find a way to not let the 'brazen faced skanky hoe' start work. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 29/06/2013</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 06:40
You would use whipped cream to fill the cake.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 06:29
Ive seen numerous amount of people eating and drinking whilst walking thru the malls, they have to be tourists!!! I avoid going out during daylight hours, and when I do have to venture I do drink water, but this is well away from everyone and no one can see. As for pregnant ladies, I have always understood they are allowed to eat and drink, but again in a dicreet manner. Also I wanted to buy the Quran for a gift and in the shop non muslims are not allowed to touch it, so how is someone allowed to read it, am I being dumb here!!! just a thought. Sal I've seen the sign in C4 and it angers me because of the message it sends to people, however there is a procedure Muslims go through before touching the Holy Quran that involves for want of a better way to describe it - being in a state of grace. Its not very likely that Non Muslims would be in the state of grace even as far as washing their hands before picking the Holy Book up. There are ways to go around it, my family have all been given copies of the Holy Koran here in Oman when visiting the Grand Mosque. Its wrapped in cellophane and placed in the persons right hand and they have just been asked to wash their hands when reading it and to treat it with care.
DesertRose1958
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 June 2013 - 06:21
Isn't the UAE unusual amongst Muslim countries in that it expects its non-Muslim guests to fast (at least in public) alongside the Muslims? I believe in other Muslim countries, it is not considered disrespectful or Haram for non-Muslims to eat and drink in public, but is a test of the faith and strength of Muslims to be able to withstand the temptation of watching others eat and drink during daylight hours? Much like Lent for Christians? If everyone is legally obliged to fast, where is the sacrifice? edited by simpleasabc on 29/06/2013 edited by simpleasabc on 29/06/2013 I would say the UAE is unusual in having food outlets open and that in most other countries people very clearly know what's what to the extent there is no confusion - places aren't open, you just don't do it. Granted there will always be someone who has to for a genuine reason but there is such a thing as being discrete but that doesn't mean if you know you are about to pass out when pregnant that you have to stagger to a discrete place before having a drink to stop you passing out. As for local friends, wherever local is, saying oh its ok - they are probably being polite and don't want to say it really would be better if you didn't - genuine reasons aside. Year after year after year Ramadan throws people into a panic because they seem to think going without food or drink as a non faster will make you shrivel up and die within a couple of hours - it wont. And speaking as as a non faster I can't see why people need to go to the extent of packed lunches etc when out and about - why cant trips out be planned so that meals are eaten at home and other things done between your meal times. Seriously, does the onset of Ramadan trigger something in the primitive brain (no jokes about the driving please :) ) that results in people kind of losing their normal reasoning when it comes to food and drink. Someone commented on EW scare stories regarding living in the region and I'll admit to some of the comments scaring me as well despite the fact I've lived here for a life time. Once I'm over my scare though I just put it down to people getting all carried away with a new way of life and them being a bit hard on themselves and others - that they have yet to find the balance and hopefully they soon will. As for children for fasting and people not drinking etc in front of them - its an old and tired argument and kind of the last stand of trying to get people to understand, so I prefer the much more subtle approach of - Just Don't Do It For The Simple Reason It Is Ramadan And It Is Just Plain Old Fashioned Nice To Just Not Do It. Its not about world peace or the likes, or maybe it is, - who knows eh :) edited by DesertRose1958 on 29/06/2013 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 29/06/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
1337
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 28 June 2013 - 10:19
Acknowledge her feelings but say its going to happen. I agree she probably is working part time somewhere so you really do need her to be kept busy with your MIL
DesertRose1958
1337
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 28 June 2013 - 10:12
Thanks for all the responses. It is so hard as part of me doesn't want to believe that I was so comprehensively fooled and also feels pity for these ladies who have to leave their own babies behind to look after some one else's babies in order to support their families.p At the end of the day she's lost my trust and I can't have her take care of my babies if I don't trust her 100% Still unsure re course of action to take but will discuss with husband and we will decide together. Appreciate the support and advice. Don't feel bad about being taken in by this woman because some of these people have absolutely no scruples when it comes to death and its not unusual for the same relative to die 2 or 3 times over. They are good like that. Im not convinced the woman will come back but even if she does I would have her back up the runway as soon as I could, and preferably without her setting foot out of the airport. As for recouping any costs. It should never factor into any decision regarding a maid. The reality is that unless a person can write off the finances associated with a maid - they cant actually afford one. When things ho wrong a woman should just be able to say - stuff this for a game of soldiers, you are out of here. Im sorry this has happened to you, and all the more so just after having your babies. You will get through it, it will be hard, but dont ever let her make you feel silly for believing her.
DesertRose1958
1337
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 28 June 2013 - 09:30
At this age they are happy at home pottering around and all the more so with it being the height of summer and car seats getting hot hot hot. Just let him play with safe things round the house. Give him a fun shower. Just improvise and you will both have a great time <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 28/06/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
1337
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 24 June 2013 - 08:48
Hey ladies! I am planning my sons first birthday and want to make it nice but affordable... any ideas on places that can accomodate 15-20 people that do birthdays for little ones? kids coming will be aged between 1-6 TIA Is your house not an option because at this age your child wont know its their birthday and a nice little tea party at home is a good way to celebrate the occasion. You don't even need many people for it, it could just be granny etc if they are here, otherwise a few pals and a few other children can make for a really nice time. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 24/06/2013</em>
DesertRose1958
1337
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 24 June 2013 - 07:39
it really does not matter what any of us think but it should matter that you hear your girl. seems she would be happy in anything that 'resembles' a bra so, go for it. Have a 'bra' decorating party, put ribbons, tiny sparkles whatever on it, celebrate it even if she does not need it, she wants to feel part of it all ;)....(you can have a white vest cut down, elastic put in, dye it, sparkle it, ribbon it, whatever and I bet all the other girls will be so jealous of her excellent 'bra'. Sounds Great....and whilst its going on there could be a bonfire outside for MIL's :D
DesertRose1958
1337
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 24 June 2013 - 07:29
Are your children still working in school this week or does it feel like school has broken up already and we are just sending the kids in for a weeks baby sitting ? I'm sure the kids are having a ball but really a whole week of nothing My daughter teaches grade 4 and still gets the children to work but she will tell you most of them are up the wall with excitement about going on holiday and just generally being tired because its the years end. To help calm them down and get them focused she books the gym out for a period each day of the last week and takes them there to blow off steam. Then its back to class for something productive before fun things and generally tidying up after the school year. The last two days though they don't do any work because everything will have been covered but she does arrange things with others classes and kids who are leaving get to spend time with their pals before they go off to pastures new.
 
 
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