EnPointe

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Latest post on 04 December 2011 - 20:16

My lovely DD is begging her dad for a Blackberry and he says NO you are too young and Your mom and I dont even have one for you to have one! The thing is, she is the ONLY girl in her 3rd grade class who does not have a BB and or her own laptop. She gets made fun of at school and is struggling to make friends just because she does not have the fancy gadgets all the other kids have! I feel so bad for her! She has a very cute little pink, touch screen LG phone that I would have been thrilled to have at her age! She is embarrassed for the kids at school to even see it! Hubby also does not let her have her own laptop as of yet either until she is 15. I plead her case last night because I feel bad for her! She makes straight A's and is in the top of her class and is a very very good girl! PLEASE what is your opinion on this? Do you ladies buy your YOUNG kids blackberrys, iphones, etc....... What age is appropriate for these kind of things? I am 18 and I don't have a BB or an iPhone, I have only had a mobile 'phone since I was 15. Even then, it was never 'my' 'phone, just one that I was given to use in case of emergencies. The mobile I have now is my dad's old one, and has no internet access enabled on it. Just pay as you go for calling people really. When I went to school at your DD's age (12), the hottest thing for all the teenagers to have was the motorola Razr and it was like a ticket to an exclusive club in a way, I didn't have any phone at all at this stage. There were many other things that the other girls had that I wasn't allowed, like mini skirts, trendy shoes and designer sunglasses, etc. but I'm glad because it meant I didn't end up in some shallow clique where no one is really your friend. I really don't think that your DD should have a BB or an iPhone just because everyone else in the class has one, if they are judging her because of her lack of gadgetry, that says it all about her classmates really. Getting her a BB will not change the fact that her classmates are cruel or misguided about what really matters in life. I don't know quite how to deal with the situation, I am not experiencing it myself, but as someone who was the odd one out a lot of the time at school, I can say that she will eventually find a friend or two who will support her regardless of what 'phone she has. BB is not a solution, it may look like it to her, but I think that in time she will look back and be thankful for not having one, for not having 'sold out' to the 'in crowd'. I am not saying it is not difficult, it can be very hard at times to be true to what really matters, but it makes us better people in the end. Also, if she is getting peer pressure for not having a BB now, if she gets a BB, the next day it could become being bullied for not drinking, not going to all the parties, etc. There is another very important reason for not letting her have a BB…it is unfortunately a common medium through which bullies incessantly attack their victims with verbal abuse 24/7, not saying this is the case with your DD, but with everything else that there is to worry about at her age, I think schoolyard gossip is enough to cope with, without it being on her phone too. Even if it is used innocently, just for chatting, it can get to be a distraction even for the best of us and her academic record may suffer. Regarding the laptop, I did have by the time I was 13 because of school reports and projects, with some games on it, but this was at a time before Facebook and Twitter. If the laptop is for working and not just to fit in with everyone else and won't become a distraction from her schoolwork then I would perhaps consider the laptop, but not unless absolutely necessary. If you do consider the laptop, as someone already posted, make absolutely sure that you have a way of controlling the online content that she can access, not because of any lack of trust in her, but because it can turn up nasty things regardless of what you are searching for. Sorry for waffling on so, it's just a subject I feel strongly about. Any more questions, just let me know.

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EnPointe

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 05 April 2011 - 16:09

Hi there Gardenia, this is a long post but bear with me… I empathise with your daughter. I have had spots since I was her age, but they started out as the typical hormonal teenage ones, just a few pimples here and there. From about the age of 16/17, they got a lot worse, but it still wasn't 'acne' as such; though I had lots of whiteheads and blackheads they weren't really painful, I just looked 'clogged up' like I didn't wash (I do though, just in case you were wondering :-). A few months ago, it suddenly went really bad; my face looked like raw meat! This time it was proper 'acne'. The spots were like you describe; painful clusters, like boils. It looked more like an allergic reaction than spots. To top it all off, I have dry skin as well around my mouth and the sides of my chin…a combination that makes one look like a reptile (lovely). We think the bad breakout was partly a reaction against some products which a dermatologist had prescribed for me, although it wasn't very effective (I liked using the foam wash because it was quick and easy). Another product I had been using on and off for a few years, was proactiv. The only reason I stopped using it was because I thought that perhaps it was too strong for everyday and I wanted to use something more natural, simple. It's taken a while for us to figure out what works for me and what doesn't. After the bad breakout my mum said that we were going to go back to proactiv again, but that I had to stick to it religiously and follow all the steps. Within a few days my skin was getting better and there was a noticeable improvement. Within two weeks it had practically disappeared. We have realised by now that every time I use proactiv, my skin is better. Period. So I stick to it. I highly recommend it. It is the only thing that works for me. I was reluctant to go on antibiotics myself but with Proactiv there's been no need. You can buy from many of the pharmacies, they do one month or two month packs - two month is better value. If you decide to give it a go, which I hope you do, you'll want to get the 3-step system which is a cleanser, a toner and a repairing lotion. It should come with a free small repairing mask which is brilliant; the mask is a clay one that you leave to set a little and then wash off, it leaves your skin soft, reduces pore sizes and calms down red and angry spots (it contains sulphur). The only thing that you need to bear in mind is that the cleanser and particularly the lotion (silky soft brilliant acne-butt-kicking stuff :-) can bleach colours. Make sure that your daughter doesn't get it on anything coloured until it has absorbed in properly. Use white towels. It's a small price to pay for better skin and confidence, if it works, particularly for such a young girl as your daughter. To put it simply, thanks to Proactiv, I can now walk out of the house without wanting to put a bag on my head. There are other products that Proactiv does that you can buy too, but those are the essentials. Though it is terrible that she has got this so young, your daughter is lucky that it is just on her face, I now get it on my chest and back, and even on the tops of my arms sometimes…finding stuff to wear when you're a teenager can take long enough as it is!!! :-) Anyway, to answer your original question, No, I cannot recommend a dermatologist here, but I have been to one in Argentina where the medical care is excellent, and Proactiv has been far more effective than anything recommended by the dermatologist. I would initially have wondered whether Proactiv would be too strong for an 11 year old, but it sounds like she has been prescribed much stronger stuff by the dermatologists, and if the acne's that bad, she probably needs it to be honest. Try it and have her stick with it for a few weeks and then make a decision. I wish your daughter the best of luck. Tell her to hang in there. Also, make sure she does not pick them. Once you start you can't stop. I know. I am guilty of that and make a mess of my face :-( EnPointe xx <em>edited by EnPointe on 05/04/2011</em>

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