goblet | ExpatWoman.com
 

goblet

6
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 16:13
thanks sallymander for that fantastic advice but it's hard to put into practice. whatever i say i am made out to be the bad one. i'll just suggest it to dh nicely and explain that i need this time alone.. if no joy then i'll remember next time he wants to take his mum with us - i won;t be getting on that plane !! i don't want to enter into too much dialogue with her as it's not good for me right now.. and tbh it's all lost on her and dh... mil does the bare minimum to help at home anyway so it's not as if she needs such a break from us- she is one of those clingy needy ppl who can't be alone at any time and needs someone around her always.. the living in thing is humanitarian and fine by me as long as a balance is reached - she only has one child and i wouldn't want her living alone away from all of us.. i do have a regard and fondness of her.. but she needs to think more about always being around us- and give us space to be a couple! mover and sheikha - i get what you're saying but i think saying i'm hormonal will do nothing to make her and dh realise they are at fault- they will just think they are being wonderful by accomodating my mood swings !!
6
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 09:33
maybe i can take the maid with me - she would be a lot more help ! jokes aside, thanks ariVW only other women would comprehend my feelings which makes me wonder why mil doesn't .. i my ask to go away with my own mum and kids and see how dh feels about that!
6
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 09:24
thanks joyceb .. i have tired to reason , argue, explain, be patient.. but it seems to get worse with time.. i know it's an emotional issue.. dh now says that it's the kids who want her there all the time. i know they would never have the sense to say that... i'm ok most of the time but at times this issue comes up in my head and creates turmoil inside of me.. in previous holidays dh would become the 'backseat' person and send me and his mum off to 'dp stuff' together.. grrrr... the i started to voice how i wanted to do stuff with him on holiday not his mum while he babysat... i've even suggested to takes her away by himself but he doesn't want to do that either !!!
6
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 09:15
thanks chime.. i am grateful that she's not as bad as some.. and i dont want to leave her out or put my dh in a bad position that's why we've been just about everywhere with her.. but at the same time i don't think asking for 2-3 days out now and then is so major but i'm made to feel that it is.. and when i see most ppl doing what they want when they want it makes me a bit bitter... mil should also understand that i need my family time just as she enjoyed hers so independently.. i get dh's feelings and i want him to be good to his mum of course but why should i be the one to lose out for the indefinite future? i'm also very good to her , it's a two way street. anyway just needed to get my feelings out.. it's so hard to talk to dh about this sensitive topic..
6
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 08:59
sorry , thanks all.. speaking to her directly is something i can't do as i dont want to hurt her.. she would never go away to a hotel/spa alone even for one night and i wouldn't expect that of her. why can't she just stay at home for a couple of days like other ppl? i really hope i never make my DIL feel guilty like i am right now!
6
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 08:57
thanks rudolph .. it seems everyone but dh and mil seem to get it! i think she thinks she can 'help' while on holiday with the kids... but to honest each time she's gone with us (which has been most times) she has hardly managed to do that and is actually quite high maintenance! i don't expect her to be a babysitter on holiday .. but just want that family time.. which i crave.. as ours is a permanent set up i see no light.. i get depressed now and then .. and yes it does feel like i'm married to them both and he loves to constantly push us together.. she doesn't even travel anywhere else even though she has close family all over the world.. but i know she seems to think she's a fantastic mil! once i managed to go away with dh and kids after putting my foot down and boy has she dropped enough 'polite' comments about that trip years ago and how she has never been to that destination.. makes me wonder if she's not as innocent as she makes out... thanks for the hugs really need them right now.. whenever this issue comes to light dh seems to find his own 'issue' either health/ work/ finances and says he can't deal with domestic pettiness too so things just get swept under the carpet! the only comeback is to refuse to go on any holidays ever at all!!