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Hello.Again.Kitty

Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 23 October 2011 - 22:33
I always used one of those booster seats that attach onto your own dining chairs for a high chair (got one for sale at the moment, in fact! ;) ) which are great and easy to clean. Try not to get one of those huge padded high-chairs because they are impossible to clean properly and become really quite rank after a few months. The Ikea ones are fine, but if your child likes to arch its back, go for one with a higher back - the Ikea ones are on the low side and I know a friend whose son backflipped out of one in a cafe where they had them! Car-seats, my health visitor rightly said that it's easier to fix broken legs than a broken head, so keep your baby in the capsule preferably until he reaches the weight limit, even if his legs stick out. Move him on to a bigger seat when his head sticks out over the top edge. It's also about neck muscle strength, as, as I'm sure others have said, even if he can hold his head up just fine in a normal situation, the forces of a road collision risk doing the unthinkable if he's that young and in a forward-facing seat. BUT... I moved mine into a BebeConfort (now taken over by Maxi-Cosi) Axiss when they got to the weight limit, which is a very good forward-facing with side-impact thingeys and all. They've now both outgrown that, so they're in a Group 1,2,3 seat with a 5-point harness.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 23 October 2011 - 22:23
I hear yer... 3-and-a bit years here and it's still... "ok". The wonderful brunches/meals out and cheap mani-pedis (aside from the lovely people I've met here, there really does seem to be only those two things that set this place apart from the rest, which is a real shame) only just outweigh the expense, lack of customer service, poor quality of food, daily frustration and general instability of life here. Meh. Tick tock tick tock... ;)
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 00:36
DC, do you not remember my constantly dishevelled look when DS was a baby?! And that was when we were on the up, 'cos you never saw me in his first 6 months! lol. Gosh, we have to be nuts really, hey?! Anyhow, the good news is, when you eventually find yourself with only one child in tow again, you will laugh at the absurdity of when you complained that you'd never be able to do stuff with a baby in tow. I did it with DD - everything seemed such a palarva, but it pales in comparison to when you have 2... and it only gets worse. When #2 is small enough to stay in the buggy, you're actually being eased in... wait til you have 2 rampaging, mobile toddlers... and maybe add to that #1 in the midst of potty-training! With #2, you also realise that you need to stop pussy-footing around. #2 won't get uninterrupted naps, will have to just cry while you prepare dinner for your screaming toddler and #1 will just have to man up if they fall over and start crying while you're feeding #2 or putting him to sleep. You'll find your life is more free-form, more chaotic, but also more rigorous... and your attitude more relaxed. BUT, when you do finally get time to yourself, you realise that for your entire life before kids, you just bummed around far too much and wasted too much time. I've always been pretty efficient, but now, oh my! Give me 4 hours and I can get more done than [cough'> DH will do in a whole weekend! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 21/10/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 00:21
I think bcg is done in the UK now at birth Only in certain areas (London, and probably Manchester and Birmingham) but it's being phased out. Neither of my two had it. ...and I know I've said it before, but the BCG is not even on the recommended vaccination list to travel to Dubai. Dubai has a lower incidence of TB than the UK (like 1/3 of the UK rate), ergo...
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 00:17
Milk... that's it.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 00:15
Try the souvenir shop in Ibn B by the China entrance (by the gym)... I got 7 from there in June, so they may have got more stock in since then... or may not have... who knows?!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 18 October 2011 - 09:07
... not that they would pay a blind bit of attention to it here, but the Health Protection Agency has found that there is a low risk of infection from using the nibbly-fish treatments and so advises that people with weakened immune systems, psoriasis, diabetes, Hep A and HIV refrain from using them. [url=http://health.msn.co.nz/blog.aspx?blogentryid=941279&showcomments=true'>link[/url'> I particularly like the quote [i'>"Provided that good standards of hygiene are followed by salons, members of the public are unlikely to get an infection from a fish spa pedicure"[/i'>... hmmm... in Dubai?!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 17 October 2011 - 23:01
even educational DVDs don't offer the real interaction that seals in learning... and to be honest, the day any child starts talking back to the telly is the day you need to worry. Of course, many, many people will say "it never did me any harm" and that is quite possibly true, but a lot depends on personality types. Some will be fine, some won't be. I was sadly deprived of any television during my early years and was limited to half an hour a day when I was about 6 onwards. Instead my mum would read and play with me or let me use my own imagination and play by myself (and with my brother). BUT in this day and age, it's difficult. DD has learnt an awful lot from Octonauts, Alphablocks and Numberjacks!
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Latest post on 17 October 2011 - 22:48
well just to prove that HAK and I don't ALWAYS agree, I have a 14 month old and I am ok with him having some level of autonomy over what he eats, so if he really doesn't want something, I'll offer him something else. What I won't do is give him rusk and milk ;) Basically what I'm saying is she might truly not feel like whats on offer, given that she has just had a tummy bug, she might now has formed an association between old favourites and feeling really yucky. AS HAK said, she might like the extra attention of being spoonfed, you might need to puree her food a little more that normal etc. My wee guy is an excellent eater, I never make him finish his plate or leave him hungry but I only ever offer him the food I want him to eat, so he has no idea what pasta is, or chicken nuggets, rusk etc. Seems to have worked so far hehe - but I'm going to agree with you now! lol! Unlike my own parents, who did get us to finish what was on our plates, I'm not quite such a stickler as I made out... partly because I can't be bothered to think what tyo cook, I do give my children 2 choices of dinner (before I cook it) - but it's my choice, so it'll be "rice or pasta?" or something like that. There are certain things that I don't bother even suggesting - eggs in any form seem to be out at the moment - DS refuses to touch it and DD only likes the yolks of fried eggs, so with that kind of waste going on, I may as well not bother, so I don't. What I never do is rush around cooking a second meal if the first is refused or rummaging through the cupboards for alternatives. Pudding is a handy bribe to eat a bit more, but if they haven't eaten much veg, they'll get a fruity pudding to compensate and I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I denied them it. BUT, yes... I've done this right from the word go and those are my rules. Obviously, I can't rewind and see if my kids would have been any different had I not had those rules, but they will generally try most things and have healthy appetites, albeit with their quirks (Ds won't touch cheese or cheese sauce... or cheese on pizza... or cheese spread not potatoes, or eggs in any form). I also accept that, as human beings, they don't actually have to like everything, so as long as they try it, I'm happy (and I can tell if they're fussing or genuinely make the effort but decide they don't like it, in which case I offer them more of what I've cooked that they do like... always a balance). They're 2 and 4, by the way. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 17/10/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 17 October 2011 - 22:39
A huge thank you to everyone that has replied to help me, just want to let you all know that I have decided that I can just not send her this year so will just take my chances and hope there is a FS2 place for her next September in the schools that I have registered her at. At the end of the day I just enjoy being with her so much and just want to have that special time with her for as long as possible and not be pressured into taking that away! that's great that you feel confident in your decision - don't let anyone knock that confidence! There is so much churn here in Dubai with people leaving that you never can tell - a friend was offered a place at her preferred school 2 days before term started and I was called up and offered one in advance too... something will turn up at the right time. It's funny how these things always happen for a reason.
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Latest post on 17 October 2011 - 15:50
they are what I would consider pricey - I was quoted 1200aed to copy my most favouritest shoes in the world evah, but I really do think that it'd be worth it... but I just haven't quite gone ahead with it because I scuff and abuse my shoes terribly and would do so, even with that price-tag! If I knew that I would be more careful with my shoes, then I would... or I might anyway, because I'm worth it! :cool:
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Latest post on 17 October 2011 - 15:19
Is she playing me?? Any ideas to get her to eat properly again or shall i just do the 'if you dont eat this, you wont get anything else'. In short... yes. To both. Fair enough when she was poorly she would be off her food (tummy bugs aren't nice), but if she's back up to full health, then she should be resuming her normal diet. Could it also be possibly linked to how she ate her baby-food (because rusk and milk is baby food)... were you, for example, paying her more attention at mealtimes than you normally do, or maybe spoon-feeding her when you usually wouldn't? I'm a big one for eating what's put in front of you if there are no extenuating circumstances. I sometimes let the kids have a tospy-turvy meal (pudding first), and on occasion, DS has refused to eat while his sister is having a yogurt, so he has one too and then returns to his main course... or if he doesn't he will get down from the table and I'll keep the plate there for about 30 minutes. If he decides he's hungry again, he'll get to finish off the plate, but no other snacks, treats or milk. My two know the score now and only rarely play up at meal-times.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 22:47
just cut it up yourself - a square/rectangular cake and a round one. Cut a slice off the round one to form a flat edge, stick the square one next to it and "draw" a number 2 in your mind. Use your biggest round cookie cutter for the inner circle of the 2 and try to keep the cake part at least 10cm across otherwise it gets a bit flimsy. You could also try drawing a big fat number 2 on a bit of wax or baking paper and cut it out to use as a template if you're not confident cutting by sight.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 20:06
I have to add though (to the gin post) that I was alone with my two under-twos and DS was very, very hard work for the first 6 weeks, so I was getting my shopping delivered and the lovely middle-aged Tescos chap helped take it all in to my kitchen and unpack, whilst DS was screaming hysterically in the living room... as I pulled out the large bottle of gin (the bigger bottle was on special offer, honest, guv!), I glanced up apologetically to him and in a priceless moment, he just looked at me with knowing sympathy, nodded and smiled. It's little instants like that when you know that you're still teetering on the right side of sanity!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 19:21
Wot she said All very true. I'm a firm advocate of "if you don't want your kid to have something, don't have it in your house"... we do have cakes, and the children have them, but I make them, so if they're a treat for me, they're also a treat for the kids. I'm not a great sweet-eater, don't have crisps around and don't impulse-buy at the check-out (DD and I had a bit of an altercation today when she wanted to get a big lollipop as I was paying). Such things are only treats if they remain unusual and occasional... if you're having sweets and fizz every day, it's not a treat, it's a part of your normal diet. But maybe I'm just mean... I blame it on my parents - my brother and I were only allowed fizzy drinks (we could choose a 2l bottle each) at Christmas and on our birthday... never had a fast-food burger at all, ever, when out and about with my parents (to this day, actually) and always had to finish what was on our plates - I only got to have a say when I was about 10!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 18:58
nope, no legal aspects... I actually really don't think they care that much - we're all temporary residents anyway. My two are following the UK vaccination programme and their nursery only asked for official records of them, which i provided and they're more than happy with them. The legality is something I wonder about too, but more in terms of getting every child into school... if you chose to, I'm sure you could *not* send your child to school and absolutely no-one official would chase you for it.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 18:52
I've got a pot of orange and black ones brought over from the UK that I don't think I'll be using. Contact me on [email protected] if you're interested.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 15 October 2011 - 00:19
Not that we drink lots in our family, but... I was brought up with the idea that you should try everything once, which is fine... although my dad especially thinks it's hilarious to let my kids try wine and stuff. The problem is they like it, so we get situations like my DS asking for beer when he sees it (actually, so does DD), DD seeing a bottle of Red in the fridge and declaring "I like red wine. We could have it for breakfast!" and my personal favourite... I was probably writing something on a forum and DD (then about 20 months) was rummaging around in the kitchen. I hear some clinking (and a lot of silence) so turn around and see DD clutching my large bottle of Gordon's. I was about to shout at her a bit, but she burst into a big grin and said "Mummy's juice!" [cough'> Couldn't help but laugh. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 15/10/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 15 October 2011 - 00:04
I don't know what the deal is with the older generation in WANTING to give sugar and salt to babies. I have put it down to the fact that they enjoy seeing a baby eat - I tried so hard to educate the grandma that at 10m DD would eat a cake with as much enthusiasm as she would a chicken drumstick ... I think there's a lot to be said for the combination of wanting to treat the grandchild and the "it never did you any harm" notion. Still, at least they're not like my dad, who seems to want to let the kids try wine at any opportunity (this is one for the "'fess up mummies!" thread!)... let my son sip some red wine when he was 18 months old, thinking that he'd wrinkle his nose, but no... he licked his lips and asked for more!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 14 October 2011 - 20:55
I have thought about putting her in FS1 next year instead but as said If we return to the UK she will then be a year behind and I will really hate myself for that! She won't, though. In the UK, not that they have FS1, but if they did, it would be during the academic year she turns 4, and reception (FS2 equivalent) is the academic year she turns 5. My DD is a September baby (not baby any more really) and although she could quite easily tackle the FS2 curriculum, I've kept her in the year of her age. I have several friends with professional experience in the area (Head of Reception in an excellent UK school, and Occupational Therapist and a Speech Therapist) who all agree there is a noticeable advantage at being amongst the eldest in a class and that children who are in school before they're ready rarely have problems in the actual reception (FS2) year, but start having them in Year 1. Of course, it's your choice, but just don't be too hasty... or at least do it for the right reasons.
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Latest post on 13 October 2011 - 21:04
yes fake tears were apparently funny when I tried them too, clearly I am a poor actress my two seem to be able to turn on the waterworks (and stop it) at will, so tears are purely crocodile ones!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 13 October 2011 - 21:01
easy peasy - stick with the clock. The only trouble comes if/when your child/ren works on sunlight - Dubai is pretty predictable and handy on the 7h-19h routine, but it's a bit more of a challenge in the UK when sunrise is at 4h30 and sundown at 22h30... saying that, in winter, I reckon I can get away with more lie-ins and early bed-times!
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Latest post on 13 October 2011 - 20:58
I classify this article in the "No sh*t, Sherlock" category... but it doesn't just encompass Dubai expats, of course. Honestly, if they had a worse quality of life than in the UK, why on earth stay abroad?!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 12 October 2011 - 23:12
Nope, I wouldn't... not unless you know that the school days are structured the same as in nursery. I have several friends whose children have started school this year and they are rising 4 (so 4 in the new year) and although they appear to enjoy it, they are having a few adjustment issues to the more formal school structure. 3 is waaaaaaaaay young for a school structure. In the UK, kids don't start reception until the academic year they turn 5 and those that have difficulties adjusting are invariably the youngest. In Scandinavia, they don't start until 6 or 7. Follow your instincts. Starting early doesn't mean a better start in academia.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 12:31
I had one on my due date and nothing really happened. My second was at 41+1, 2 cm dilated when I went in, she gave a good rummage because I told her that I desperately didn't want to have to be induced, walked out of the hospital and DS dropped and fully engaged, within an hour I was in labour. I think that if you're already on the brink, it'll nudge you over the edge, but if bubs and your body simply aren't quite ready, it won't.
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Latest post on 09 October 2011 - 22:51
The finish is ok- better than jbr but not as good as the emaar finishes. Location is good next to the mall and you can get Marina views, but the room sizes seriously let it down. The two beds are the size of a 1 bed and all the rooms tiny. Some do have reasonable size balconies ( in comparison with the apartment size). I think you'll find that the newer building do offer smaller apartments. This is purely a consequence of the boom - the thinking being that since people were falling over themselves to get any kind of accommodation, it didn't really matter what it was actually like, and from a developers point of view, more units = more profit. You'll possibly notice (not necessarily in Silverene) that the common areas are also less generous... because there's no profit to be made there. All the buildings that are being built now are the last throw-backs of 2008.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 October 2011 - 15:06
One of my friends' sons did. It's true they don't know much about it, but basically, it seems to be something that the kids grow out of, so you just have to make sure they're safe. Apparently it happens while they're in a really, really deep sleep, so although they may have their eyes open and seem to make sense, they're actually fast asleep and won't remember a thing. One technique that's often suggested was to nudge the child out of sleep (not to fully awake, but just nudge a bit) so that they don't go into the deep, deep sleep. The nudging should happen about 15 minutes before the terror usually starts. Bear in mind that most people's sleep cycles last about 45 minutes.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 October 2011 - 14:59
yes, for the amount she'll actually eat, it's really not going to hurt her. I would also avoid sugar substitutes which are invariably full of aspartame and stuff, so worse that the small amount of sugar she'll have. As Kiwispiers says, sugar, date syrup, agave syrup, apple or grape juice concentrate... it's all the same thing really... even carrots contain "sugar", just not the refined white stuff,
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 October 2011 - 14:49
full fat milk! lol! My favourite recipe calls for buttermilk and in fact, every cupcake recipe in my favourite book does too (can yer guess what it is yet?!) and they all turn out gorgeous with full fat milk. Might have to try them with laban one day...
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 October 2011 - 14:47
Didn't realise it was even finished yet! It's the same designers as the Jewels, so pretty good design...
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Latest post on 08 October 2011 - 20:09
Sounds like you were using Pampers... imo they're the most horrid things around and I wouldn't touch them unless every other brand was out of stock... no, actually Drypers are pretty bad too. After searching and searching, I found Sanita Bambi to be the best - never had any splitting issues. You could also just try putting bubs in the next size up. I've always found that sticking to a nappy where your child's weight is in the lower half of the recommended range works well. DS is in size 5 and he's 15kg. --- Sorry, just realised that both points have already been covered! lol <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 08/10/2011</em>
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Latest post on 08 October 2011 - 20:04
Try Family&Friends in the Al Fattan Office tower in JBR (it's the rust-coloured building facing the marina, just behind the tall Al Fattan towers)... I know they do an hourly crèche facility and Jo, the owner and main teacher is lovely. I wouldn't leave my child at Fun&Play without giving them a good grilling about their safety procedures first... lets just say that I really hope they've changed since I last enquired 2 years ago.
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Latest post on 08 October 2011 - 17:17
What's wrong with just plain butter? Best thing since sliced bread for shortcrust pastry...
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Latest post on 07 October 2011 - 15:33
No, not misleading - they said the annex was not ready and it was on the other side of the Polo Club grounds That in itself would be borderline alarm bells ringing... when would it be ready? What would they use it for? How would they remain in control of goings-on if it were across the way? How would the children stuck in the annex interact with the others? How would those children benefit from the rest of the facilities the nursery has to offer? How is communication set-up between the two sites? What happens in the case of an emergency - do all children go to the same spot or two separate locations, and if so, who is responsible overall?
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Latest post on 07 October 2011 - 10:27
wow, what an amazing thing to be doing Alicia!
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Latest post on 07 October 2011 - 10:16
just to throw this one in here - do parents not check out nurseries before sending thier kiddies there? Thus avoiding the whole "surprising" lack of hygine? btw i completely agree with the OP and ive already mentioned that i have witnessed the same incident by the same nursery. Just a thought though?? I was just about to post in a similar way... I mean, before signing a lot of money away and entrusting your pride and joy to some strangers, do you not at least carry out some basic checks, like having a look at the room and watching how the staff interact, let alone maybe talking to staff and checking out their qualifications?! I'll save "checking emergency procedures" for the advanced lesson. --- As for this whole putting the apple back on the shelf, oh pleuleeese! I would imagine that it'd be marginally cleaner for having rolled on the floor - just how many people do you think handle each and every item of fruit and veg, even if it always remains on the shelf?! And the stuff in the shiny cling-film packaging with the polystyrene trays - that's just exactly the same fruit and veg, but that's been extra handled to pack it up!
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Latest post on 06 October 2011 - 09:11
In the photo of the one I saw the 2nd back seat doesn't have a shade cover, are they meant to? no, they don't. The back seat is mainly shaded by the top seat (and you pushing it), but the UV cover covers both of the seats, so if you're concerned about the sun, it's well worth getting one (also good against the wind and dust)
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Latest post on 06 October 2011 - 08:58
wow, his work is incredible! Thanks so much... will definitely contact him! Any other options would be great too...
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 22:02
Hi again - I'm struggling to keep up with all your replies but just to let you know am reading them and would like to maybe comment again when I get the chance...! I just read about ' children not being the most important thing' and I've always thought to myself that I'm not the most likely candidate to be a Mum and although I love my boy to bits, I am getting through this, never to be repeated again to be honest. Don't get me wrong am enjoying it at times but at other times I almost wonder how I'll ever manage to raise him as I'm so out of my depth and also want some life of my own! I guess then that's normal? Well, it's normal for me... and from chatting to my mum friends, anyone who says she knows what she's doing, has got it all sussed and never has any doubts is lying... and not very well, at that! Just when you think you're coming out of the tunnel and think you have a teensy bit of a clue, those bloomin' hormones take over again and make you think it's an absolutely fantastic idea to have another one! But it is easier second time around, because you've learnt the key lesson that there's no right or wrong - and where there's no possibility of doing something wrong, it's impossible to fail... it's just different choices on a path. I think DC is right - a lot is down to unrealistic expectations. I am lucky in that my MiL was back at work shortly after having #3 and #4 (DH) and had some quite frankly dubious practices (quite how she managed to work night shifts and still manage with 4 children is beyond me!)... my own mum took nearly 5 years out of work, but found, just like I have done, that she needed more, so started writing books and didn't stop until she got one published. We all learn to manage in different ways, but the point is, regardless of the approach we take, it all turns out just fine in the end... it's just a case of finding ways to manage that fit in with you, as an individual.
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 18:24
marks and spencer...their's is tasty too. The best [shop bought'> lemon curd I've ever tasted is the Duchy Originals one... you might be lucky and find a jar in Lulus... I know they sometimes have a surprisingly good range of organic stuff.
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 18:22
The Antique Museum ETA Directions are there in this thread: http://www.expatwoman.com/forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=72417 edited by tkoshy on 05/10/2011 ooo, many thanks!
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 18:15
Waitrose and Choithrams too... it's actually surprisingly easy to make too, if you're that way inclined!
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 17:15
I want to get an image done as a souvenir to hang on the wall, but I want it in Arabic text, set in a calligraphic way (like the tear-drop shape or whatever else may be appropriate)... so anyway, can any of you suggest a calligraphist whose work is wonderful? I have yet to work out the text (may also ask your help to translate it!), but the person needs to be able to work it into something beautiful... I'm certainly not looking for anything generic! Many thanks!
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 17:10
You know the ones... the chandeliers of different coloured arabic lamps (dark cut-out metal with glass infills)... I know that there are lots fo shops selling them at the Madinat, and then the usual Al Jaber Gallery and other touristy-shops, but was just wondering if the Collective Knowledge knew of any more authentic, less inflated-price/touristy places?
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 16:12
Is 1150 aed for near new, hardly been used sport with double kit a good deal? er.. yes. I sold a used Sport, nearly new but def used, double with raincover for 2000. ;)
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Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 16:08
Of course they're the most important little things in our lives but we need some downtime just to chill out, relax and wind down. If I think DS is going to sleep for three hours and he wakes after one, I could cheerfully kill someone because I've been cheated out of my me-time. Yet another thing nobody really 'gets', especially not my mother. Last time I complained about this she told me I was a glass-half-empty kind of person! Jeez, thanks, Mum. . Going out on a limb here, but my children aren't the most important things in my life. My sanity and health is. Selfish? Gnyer... maybe, but seeing as they're so dependant on me, if I'm not happy no-one is. If you look out for you first, everything will fall into place. Like on planes - put the oxygen mask over your face first and then help others. You're also not alone in feeling cheated when they don't sleep as long as you were hoping. I always felt that way. I also feel that way when I get called in to nursery to pick one or the other up early. I've put 4 years of my life into bringing up my children... wanting a few hours to myself in exchange, surely isn't that hard to fathom?!
Hello.Again.Kitty
1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 12:39
he doesn't really understand why[b'> I can't just 'snap out of it'. [/b'>Neither do I for that matter - there is nothing horrible about my life so why do I feel so fearful and down?. That, my dear, is it. You've absolutely hit the nail on the head in that paragraph and summed up all the frustration, anger, resentment and confusion the is the root of a lot of depression. If you're anything like me, you kind of feel detached... like 2 people - one, you, who knows that you can do this stuff - and more! That one's jumping up and down inside a little glass box going "what on earth are you doing?! This doesn't make sense - you can do it, and you know you can!"... but the point is, there's the glass box and outside of it, your mind doesn't seem to be able to follow any kind of logic and even though you realise that there are some very reasonable arguments to help you and a very logical reason behind it all... and that if you could only get your brain to function properly, you could analyse all of that and come up with a logical Action Plan... but it's not quite working... like when the car won't start... just a big horrid empty revving sound! The point is, the strong, capable you is still in there and wants to get back to normal, but needs some help to do so. With regards to your relationship, yes, it can be tough - my depression nearly split DH and I up, but that was nearly 10 years ago now. If anything, we grew to understand each other better... and I learnt a bit more about myself. With your friends, I would suggest that you tell your close friends that you do have PND (it's not a personal failure, it's a medical condition - would you shy away from telling people you had a cold?) and add that you're working on getting better, but in the mean-time, ask them to bear with you and be especially supportive (and positive). Talk to them about how your depression manifests itself but know that unless they've been there themselves, they won't be able to actually understand. You don't need them to, you just need them to be there, like normal. Anyhow, the frankensense is just my little thing that I found... my uni used to offer free reflexology when you were stressed out and one day, I went in and the reflexologist asked me if I needed to relax - no, I said, I need to focus! I need to be pin-sharp, on the ball - I can't wallow around mulling over stuff... I need action! (I had a deadline...)... anyhow, so she mixed frankensense (for the focus) and ginger (for energy) and did her stuff... OMG, was it good! I got home positively on fire... the only problem was, by the time DH came home from work, I was so "on fire", I'd actually stopped working and was literally bouncing around the room. Since then, I haven't touched the ginger essential oil, but I always have a bottle of frankensense to sniff or burn when I'm feeling in a bit of a rut. It seems to clear my head. You could also try maybe some tai chi or meditation. Both are very gentle and I always come away from tai chi with more energy than when I went in. Have a look online for Qi Gong (various spellings of it, of course) which are breathing exercises that focus your energy (sounding increasingly hippy-ish here, I realise!)... anyhow, this chap seems to have a nice way of demonstrating... [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qisM5kItweI&feature=relmfu'>YouTube link[/url'>... there are lots of postures, but I really like the [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1mV89SiEJQ&NR=1'>tree [/url'> because the key is to ground you, you feel connected, you feel strong and in control and if you really concentrate, you can feel the energy that your arms are encircling - which is amazing because it's [i'>you[/i'> and you alone creating that energy. Meditation-wise, my old tai chi teacher told me a nice technique. Basically, where ever you are, imagine you're sitting on a riverbank, just watching the water go past (nice day, under a tree, birds in the branches, you get the idea). It's pretty much impossible to have a totally blank mind (indeed, as soon as you think you've got a blank mind, you haven't, because you're thinking about it!)... so instead of "clearing your mind", just think of all your thoughts as leaves on the water - they appear and wash away, as the river passes you. You don't try to hold on to them, just watch them all float by, peacefully. --- Sorry, I've just been caught in a YouTube loop and have to link this [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbgO_rsne14&feature=related'>chap[/url'>... he's actually demonstrating a set fo Qi Gong moves to help against depression (over 5 short videos), which is really sweet... although you may want to try them when no-one's in the house... the noises are hilarious [regains serious face'> but an integral part of the exercise! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 05/10/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 October 2011 - 21:26
Ehhh, I would stop pushing it. Everytime she asks to poo, put a nappy - not a pull-up on. In fact, get rid of the pull ups all together - because babies wear nappies and big girls pee pee and poo poo in the potty. Not the pull ups which are in between. Then gently remind her that big girls put their poo poo in the potty whenever you change her nappy. Yeah, I agree. I had a challenging time with DD too (she would NEVER get to the loo on time for #2s!) and in the end had to resort to good old bribery/ humiliation/ peer pressure... whatever you want to call it. Tried the star charts, presents, treats, punishment, walking around in dirty underwear... but no, what cracked it in the end was just her desperately wanting to be a Big Girl and I turned round and said "well, big girls don't do poos in their knickers. Babies do that - are you a baby? Do I have to put you back in a nappy?!" Cue tears and pleas of "no, mummy, please not nappies" I'm a Big Girl!" Prove it then. I also tried pull-ups and DD, clever pickle that she was, totally regressed... when I asked her why she was doing wee in her "special knickers", she just turned round and told me "they're not knickers mummy, they're nappies". Well, that is true, after all. After that, we went cold turkey, just in cloth knickers and resigned to doing a lot of washing. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 04/10/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 October 2011 - 21:15
I've been looking at it on the P&T website and I can't for the life of me work out how it actually works with a newborn and a toddler in it. Am I being dim? I think perhaps I should have started thinking about all this a little sooner than six weeks before #2 arrives! Especially since #1 showed up 3 weeks early... Don't worry, I went and bought the Pear and then had to change it with a month-old! In newborn mode, the toddler seat is on top, and the newborn kind of slots in underneath on the main seat that unzips to lie flat. It does feel a bit like shoving them in the boot, but hey. Alternatively, you can use the cs adaptor and have newborn facing you on top in the car seat, whilst toddler is in the normal toddler-seat position. The weight of the car-seat means that the buggy remains nicely balanced and really easy to push. They've also brought out a carry-cot, but I don't think it can work with the double set-up.
Hello.Again.Kitty
1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 October 2011 - 21:10
I've suffered from depression in the past and was on PND-watch, especially with my second. DC's feelings on the matter echo mine and the first step in getting better really is the realisation that you need some help [i'>to help yourself[/i'>. My Dr at the time said something that was strangely reassuring - that often, it's the strongest people, who are usually completely able to cope, are in control and who are generally confident who suffer the most from depression. A trigger (or series of triggers) just kicks off an imbalance of hormones that our bodies sometimes can't rebalance on their own... and there you go. I also see anti-Ds as a help, not some kind of zombie-making drug. They clear your mind so that you can then take charge again without those all-pervasive negative thoughts (that you don't like and can't control) holding you back. They allowed me to make a Plan to get me out of the rut I found myself in and allowed me to action it. I liken them to any other medication - if you're in pain, you take painkillers, no? Anyhow, if you are hesitant and/or unable to see anyone about it, there are a few things you can try: - work out (either by yourself or together with DH) a plan of things that you can do to make yourself feel better... and then do them - think of a small project or series of small projects that you can achieve... and achieve them, for yourself (could be the couch to 5k, something crafty, trying a new recipe every week, studying...) - try and get out of the house for a walk every day (this could be on your achievement list - win win!) - get your DH to take over for an evening, or two or three or a whole day at the weekend and go off and be yourself, by yourself, as sociable or as solitary as you fancy at the time. - eat well and try to sleep well too. - I also swear by frankensense (sp?!)... it helps stop your mind dwelling on things. Combine with ginger and you'll be bouncing around like a lunatic! - try to work out what bothers you (DH can help) and with DH, talk about them. Tell him that you just need to talk, not to find solutions and ask him to just be a very patient listening pair of ears. It really is hard for partners to understand - DH would get frustrated after a while (and he's a patient chap) when I would want to talk about the same thing for the 100th time, like some kind of broken record, but that's the point, we get stuck on little things that seem insurmountable, but we just need the time to see them for what they really are. You will get there.
 
 
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