Pink Lily | ExpatWoman.com
 

Pink Lily

Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 June 2013 - 21:03
Yes the Marina area would be better for me. I wonder if by any chance we could have a 'rotational' meeting??
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 June 2013 - 16:39
Being the person who started the thread back in March, asking for a coffee morning that working women can get to, I am really pleased with this news. However, it may not be a good time of year to start this, as teachers especially, will be starting their vacation. Therefore, if the response this time is not so great, I hope that we can try again in September.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 June 2013 - 18:05
If you are considering staying here, on your husbands companys visas, then why are you thinking about paying for all of the living expenses yourself? How can your husband leave you without support? And in some ways, if the schooling has already been paid up front and there is money to take back in refund, then he must do this, and then he should make up the money in KL for the schooling from his own funds. If he doesn't have the money, but he wants you all with him, then he has to borrow money if necessary. It really all comes down to....do you want to be with him anymore? and, does he want his family anymore? You know as you have said, this thing will probably repeat itself in the future, and you must decide if you can continue to live life flitting around, or if you are really at the end of your tether. From an outsider, looking in, if you were a 'tight' couple, you would be able to make the necessary compromises along the way to make things work....... I am sorry, but I could not imagine living here whilst supporting 2 children alone. Life in U.K. as you already know can be hard, but I feel it would be more controllable than here. But your husband must share your cost of living expenses.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 June 2013 - 17:01
I understand that you have a holiday planned for the U.K. and that you will be there before going on to K.L if you go. What about flights from U.K. to K L ?Has he booked them for you or would you be expected to do this? You see I am seriously worried about your savings going. And o that note, I think that you should stop topping up the mortgage from your own money. If he already knows that you're doing that, tell him that you are not prepared to do that any more when you do not have a say in when the property is sold .Let him pick that up as well-otherwise you will own more of the property than he does. You see if you go back to U.K. and stay there, you will have chosen again, to take all the responsibility for the family. He will have no idea how you have struggled in the past, and he will just think that you will be cared for by the state. If you go with him and it doesn;'t work, then he will have to send you back, and will have to agree to the sale of the house, and relocation to somewhere within your means, while you build yourselves up again. Please don't take on all of the responsibility yourself. Make him know that he is the one failing, and make him do the adjustments. You know at the end of the day that you are more than capable to weather another storm, but it is very important that you not continue to lose out financially. Don't make life so easy for him!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 June 2013 - 15:17
Hello, I have read through most of this post, and you have had a lot of advice, so I hope that you have been helped. I think that I see things a slightly different way. You have clearly always been the organiser/thinker/planner and provider for your family. You are married, and enough is enough. I would now, tell your husband that if he wants you and the kids to follow him, then he has to do all of the arrangements from here onwards!!! Just stand back-do nothing towards the move, and make him sort it out. At the end of the day, if you are with him, on his contract, and he cannot make ends meet, then maybe he will realise, and it will be preferable for him if you all go back to the u.k. He must then facilitate your move and settlement in U.K. He is living like a single man, and as you know, you have 'made a rod for your own back ' with this man. I feel that it is he who should find a way to support his family- not you, and at the end of the day, not the British tax payer. I don't mean this to sound hard, but I know that it does. I just hate it so much when men shirk their responsibilities.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 May 2013 - 21:36
When my children were little I would have paid someone to devise a way of keeping their toys tidy! We were forever hunting for parts that had gone missing.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 May 2013 - 21:24
ANYONE KEEP ICE CREAM BOXES ? (A Rancher) Guilty!!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 May 2013 - 21:07
What about the plastic containers that croissants and cakes come in- I cannot bear to throw them away- they will be useful for something---??? My husband hates this habit.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 May 2013 - 19:20
Lynett you have been so brave to tell us about your past life, and all of the difficulties you have gone through. To be honest, it will make many of us realise that our own problems are very insignificant after reading this. Sadly, women the world over suffer from abuse in one way or another, and it is often because we are so trusting and vulnerable. I am sure that we all want a better future for you, and of course this will begin with the birth of your first child. You must focus on your own health right now, and just do all you can to hold on to this baby, and produce a healthy child. Your world will change then. You will focus on giving your child a better childhood than you had. I don't think that you can change your husband, and I believe that you should realise that you need to rely on yourself in the short term. Your child will love you, and this will carry you through. You will have decisions to make in the future, but you probably need to stay where you are for now. Keep strong as you have been, but now it is for the two of you. What sort of work did you do in the past?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 May 2013 - 21:54
I am totally saddened by any cruelty to any defenceless creature, and let us not forget the little kittens that have been found beheaded. Animals are such easy targets for violence. People can be so cruel- any nationality, any religion!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 May 2013 - 00:02
Try not to think too hard about 'getting it right'. Your sister will appreciate whatever you do. When my sister was very ill, I found that watching special films was a lovely, comfortable thing to do. It doesn't take too much effort, and in the future, whenever you watch those films again, you will remember these days. God bless you both.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 23:45
Hi, no advice to offer, but just wanted to say Congratulations!! I hope that you have a trouble free pregnancy. It is possible, even though you hear some awful stories. Just try and relax, that is best for mum and baby.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 17:55
It doesn't matter what we all think is reasonable - it's her husband's opinion that counts... Yes it does matter, as that is exactly whyTDB has posted. She wants to know how reasonable (??) women feel, so that she will have more confidence to argue her corner!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 17:38
So by now, TDB must realise that she is not being unreasonable at all, in needing to have a night out once a month (at least!!! ) with her husband. Babies wont realise that you are gone, and older children often look forward to Mum and Dad going out. I remember that mine used to enjoy entertaining the babysitter. I now actively encourage my daughter and her husband to have time away from their baby whenever they can. Family life is great, but married life must also continue. You don't need to give up the one for the other. It was said before, but I repeat, never feel bad about being with your husband, but away from the children. You will only have left them if you have found adequate provision for them, so why worry???
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 April 2013 - 17:23
In this climate, I think that fresh fruit and good ice cream is always lovely. Enjoy your special days- you will remember them forever!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 April 2013 - 17:20
I just think that this thread will serve a really good purpose, in that it will make us all think more about what we expect from other people, and whether we should expect anything at all. Also, for some people, it will give them the strength to be able to say 'no', rather than to carry on doing something that they didn't really want to do, but that they did, because it was expected of them. And it is not just concerning cars and lifts, but other areas of life. It actually encourages us all to be honest, which is always the best policy, even if sometimes hurts!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 April 2013 - 22:22
I have had one forceps delivery with episiotomy and epidural, followed by two vaginal births without any pain relief,( elsewhere in the Middle East) As no-one knows how any birth will progress, in terms of speed and degree of difficulty, I firmly believe that the woman must trust the professionals who are helping her at the time of delivery, to make the best decisions for mother and baby. Yes , one can have an 'ideal birth plan', but must be realistic and flexible when the time comes. The epidural was following a very long labour, and was wonderful. Prior to delivery , it was the one thing that I didn't want. The absence of pain relief was because there was none available. Sometimes, the availability of choice, makes decisions harder. Good luck, at the end of the day, torn tissues heal, and an episiotomy is much better than a random tear. On the day of delivery, all that mattered to me, was a live, healthy baby.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 March 2013 - 13:12
Thanks ladies, I feel better now, as I agree with most of you, and can understand all of you. For me, it is about trying to meet expectations, whilst trying not to disappoint anyone. However, that relies on others realising that simply because we are in Dubai, we are nowhere near 'made of money'!! I love buying gifts, but remember the saying: 'it's the thought that counts'
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 March 2013 - 18:56
Why would you need to do a visa run if you go onto your husbands visa?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 February 2013 - 22:39
I would like to find a lady partner for bridge, or a group that I could join. I have played before, but am still a beginner really. I know that there is a ladies bridge club, but I am looking for something less fomal reallyy- evening or late afternoon. <em>edited by Pink Lily on 06/02/2013</em>
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 01 February 2013 - 16:24
I think that the only person to blame here is your husband. You have been a wife and mother for him, and he has been unfaithful to you because he had the opportunity. Please try not to think about the faults that he is finding with you, as he is only saying these to try and justifyhis behaviour to himself.. Regardless of how good/ attractive etc. you are, you deserve honesty from him. Okay he thinks he is being honest now, but only because he has already found another future for himself.This is very cowardly. Please stay strong for yourself and your child. If you have a joint account- start taking money from it. Don't make anything easy for him. Book your tickets, and everything else that you need. He must be made to pay for what he has done in some way.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 January 2013 - 15:24
I am sorry to say that even though I am British, I don't mind who wins today, and I was rooting for Federer on Friday.I find it so hard to cheer for Murray, when he is always so angry while he is playing- whether he is winning or losing. He is like a spoilt child on court.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2013 - 19:50
It seems rude to ask, but how did you find out about this other one? It just shows how little we know each other (even when we live with them), and how devious people can be. Wishing you all the strength you need to get through this with your children. <em>edited by Pink Lily on 26/01/2013</em>
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2013 - 18:49
I have a similar relationship with my sister really. When I was back home for a few months, sorting out a Big problem, if I didn't contact her,she didn't contact me, and it infuriated me.I was upset/angry/confused.When I asked her if I had done anything wrong, she said I hadn;t, and that she is just busy, and doesn;t always keep her phone with her. This was difficult to accept,but my children made me realise that I cannot change her, I would miss her if I didn't make contact, and we have had this sort of relationship for a long time now.You see I felt guilty, as you do now, even though we have not done anything wrong. It is just that we want to show our care more.I also think that it is our need to 'hold on', as we are both away from our home lands.Some people take things for granted,an others are prepared are prepared to service their needs. I guess we know who we are.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2013 - 16:33
Is it just your SIL or are other members of the family ignoring you as well? Do you go and stay with them? I have a lot of sympathy for you.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 January 2013 - 21:38
Better ' take the bit between the teeth', and make your oun burgers!!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 January 2013 - 21:40
Interesting topic! BuckeyeD, I would be interested to know the name of your house insurance company, that only requires someone to be resident once per month.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2012 - 19:58
Thanks for the ideas. It is quite a big decision whether to leave a house empty or to let it.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2012 - 16:57
Yes thanks for asking about winter heating KB100, I would be interested in info about that too.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 02:49
Thanks for all replies.I can now start to look for flights.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 February 2012 - 13:08
Alison, sincere condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.Remember, that you did everything that you could do for your Mum at the end, even CPR.Cherish your memories with her.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 February 2012 - 20:37
Hi Stardust. Well done for making your decision. As your husband intends being here for a long......... time, I think that it is really important for you to complete your training so that you can also achieve what you want to in life.If you want a career, it is much better to do it now, rather than to wait until the children are older. It will be harder for you in some ways, but you will be looking forward to satiisfaction in the future.If I had not had a fulfilling occupation,I feel that I would have missed out in life, even though I also have 3 wonderful children. Good luck.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 31 January 2012 - 16:18
I am wodering whether you are still breastfeeding, and whether she is sleeping in the same room as you? I just remember my own father saying to me many years ago, when I was complaining about my third: 'They can't sleep all the time'.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2012 - 01:32
Yes, no problem!! Enjoy.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2012 - 00:46
My daughter brought the 2 series over for my Christmas pressie, and we watched them all while she was here. I am watching the chrimbo special on youtube- have watched half of it and am 'saving' the other half. Crazy, isn't it?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2012 - 12:05
I think that everyone has their own values and moral code, which is theirs because of who they are- where they grew up, what experiences they have had, and the impact of people around them. I usually find that people who behave well and lead a 'good' life,dont try to force their feelings, beliefs or moral codes on others, but they lead by example and people want to be like them. I suppose I mean actions speak louder than words. <em>edited by Pink Lily on 26/01/2012</em>
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2012 - 11:44
From now onwards, just do what YOU want to do, with WHO you want to BE WITH!!! So sorry the hen do went badly wrong for you, but at least this was not the Wedding Day. Now you know these awful people better, keep away from them. Ignore them. Don't give them the opportunity to upset you again. Sometimes we feel that we need people around us, but unless they are kind and thoughtful, we are better off without them. This kind of thing happens to all of us at sometime. Be strong, and enjoy the wedding.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 January 2012 - 23:09
It is highly dangerous to heat wax in a microwave, due to uneven heat distribution in a microwave oven. The wax can set on fire..Sorry to be a pain, but I wouldn't like anyone to get hurt!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2012 - 14:16
This is a difficult decision, but as her grades are not good, then her education should not be the main reason for choosing to stay.Also,it will be too much extra pressure for her to achieve, if she realises that you are only staying for this reason.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 January 2012 - 19:09
Thanks for letting me know- many of the threads will have different meaning for me now, and I am noticing a lot of irony!!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 January 2012 - 20:06
Does he usually buy you a present/card? Is it possible that he has bought you something but not given it to you yet?? I do hope so, will keep my fingers crossed!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 January 2012 - 14:57
Utility bills sky high in U.K. now,into the hundreds per month in winter. Meat, chicken and fish much more expensive. Restaurant bills much more. Petrol-often a bigger cost than food monthly.(especially if a 2 car family)
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 January 2012 - 13:53
Thanks so much,now I can start to put a package together.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 January 2012 - 22:30
Is there a parcel post service from Dubai to the U.K. from a post office, or is the only way by using a company such as DHL? If there is, has anyone an idea about the cost? Thanks.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 December 2011 - 20:34
Okay, to make myself clearer, I think that someone should only sign a document that is written in a foreign language, after they have read a translated copy of that document
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 December 2011 - 20:08
AmyAus82, I think that you should only be expected to sign a paper translated into a language that you understand. When you are in 'the book', will you be able to travel without your husband but with children (if you have any)?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 December 2011 - 22:40
Yes, Christmas is so magical as a child, that I don't think we ever forget, and that is why we try so hard with our children, to give them the best time. It is difficult to try to re-create that feeling with an adult who didn't experience it as a child.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 December 2011 - 22:28
Happy Christmas to everyone who reads this. I am just sitting here remeniscing about Christmas Eves when my children were young. They were hectic, so much to do and not enough time, but those were the best times. All you young mums out there, Enjoy!!!You never get these times back.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 December 2011 - 02:00
Hi Katie W1, I only had morning sickness with my third pregnancy. I solved it, by ALWAYS drinking tea and taking a few dry biscuits before I even sat up in bed.No need for medication.I hope that you have someone to make the tea for you! This is my first post- I signed up so that I could try and help you.Let us know how you are doing.
 
 
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