TanyaR

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Latest post on 30 January 2011 - 22:54

*hugs* to all. Losing a parent, sibling or child is extrodinarily difficult to deal with, it breaks my heart hearing others struggling through this situations, as obviously, you only have some idea of the experience when you have been through it yourself, and you wouldn't wish that on anyone. I lost my father a few years ago, very suddenly, and in what I personally found to be horrendous circumstances. It is a gut wrenching, all consuming situation to go through. I will be honest, it took a LONG time for me to begin to reconcile what had happened, and how I would move on from it. You can't put a timeframe on it, because everyone circumstance is so, so different. I also had friends that were extremely insensitive, given I was quite 'young', none of my friends had experienced this loss, and perhaps they didn't know what to say about the circumstances surrounding it also. People really do find death to be such a difficult thing to deal with, so most tend to ignore it, gloss over it, or go over the top and say incredibly insensitve/inappropriate things. Did you say anything to your friends that you are struggling, or have you just kept quiet? I personally, just kept quiet, so can't really blame them for ignoring the situation. If you did reach out, and they ignored you, you definitely have reason to be upset with your friends. If you didn't and they simply don't understand the gravity of this kind of loss, perhaps you could speak with them, and say you are really struggling coming to terms with it. I know it seems completely wrong to us that you have to ask for help in these situations, but sometimes people sincerely do not realise how hard you are finding it, if you don't say anything, particularly if they haven't experienced something similar in their lifetime, they have no idea sometimes what you go through. I personally stopped speaking with my bestfriend for 3 years post my fathers death, given her behaviour (or lack of thought towards me) after his death. My only advice is to try and make time to deal with it (at some stage in the near future) rather than keeping busy and bottling it up. I had a bit of breakdown on holiday with some friends about 2 years after the fact, and my they were shocked, and I was embarassed (not that I should have been) that it was only coming out then... and I was only then realising the gravity of his loss in my life. Anyway, my thoughts go out to everyone, to answer your overriding question, yes it does get easier, but as I said, everyone is different and circumstances are different, so the timeframes around the grieving period are different. Take care all. xxx

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Latest post on 30 January 2011 - 21:32

I know you are feeling better, but I just thought I would add, DS only pooped every 4-5 days when he was young - in fact until he was about 6 months old, and started solids ... then boy, did things change :) As long as there is no discomfort, and it is there 'normal' movement, you should be fine - Breastmilk is the 'perfect' food, so very little waste created if they are efficient absorbers of nutrients!

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Latest post on 30 January 2011 - 21:16

I will try and keep it to your questions, apart from adding context from my situation! So, I was the career orientated one in our relationship, to the point that even though my DH was still Senior as well, he was happily considering taking paternity leave if we had children in our home country, but then we moved offshore. I was career orientated to the point, I had no personal interests really, my life revolved around work, and a number of people that I have previously managed have been shocked to hear I have a child (thinking I would never stop working basically, and hopefully not that I am unsuitable for the motherhood!!!) I have been a SAHM for a year now, and I have just started interviewing to return to work. I have LOVED my year off looking after DS, it has been an incredible experience, and I could not have really seriously considered returning to work until now, because I simply wasn't ready (still a bit unsure if I am really) to leave DS. Onto your questions: - Loss of personal identity - I personally did 'lose' myself completely. BUT, this is because previously I was working 80 hour weeks, so actually had no hobbies or interests really (sounds so sad looking back), and I then arrived in Dubai just in time to have DS, so I had no personal life at all set up here prior to him arriving. - Will I be able to stay at home all day with her when I am used to working under so much pressure? Yes, it is just a different kind of work and pressure, as some of the others say, it is a job, but one you are more personally invested in! At 11 months they are so much more interactive and developing and learning new skills every day, once they are awake, you don't really get a moments peace - as you would know from your weekends/nights spent with her. - Will I find a job this good when I start looking again esp since I will have a gap in my resume? Okay this one is difficult to answer. This is actually my field of expertise so please DO NOT shoot me, this is my experience, and not my personal perspective (well some of it anyway!) It does depend on where you are trying to get a job again, and what your background is as to whether you will experience prejudice against staying at home for a while. My home country (including a wider span in the greater region area), and another I have worked in, are heavily regulated against discrimination around this factor, however, I have seen the worst behaviour around not wanting to hire returning to work mothers in those countries. They do not like gaps in CV's for motherhood because of the 'idea' we become 'unreliable' if our children are sick, have holidays etc... tbh - in the UAE it seems far more widely accepted that return to work mothers are a legimate pool of candidates to be accepted as applicants, and I do think this is because of the accepted high use of Nannies in the home that makes this possible. The UAE has one of the shortest legislated maternity leave coverage in the world - which is why returning to work here is not so much of an issue, and it is more accepted. BUT, my overall comment on this issue, is that it COMPLETELY depends on the Hiring Manager, we all know people have different opinions and feelings on topics, so it is completely down to how the Manager feels about this topic, that you apply for. Regardless of how it is legislated for in the country you are applying in, it doesn't really matter, it all depends on who is viewing your CV and making the decision. (Again this is not my personal perspective, I am trying to give an objective viewpoint from my experience of well over 15 years in this area) - Will I drive poor DH nuts staying at home? Depends... he isn't going to be working from home is he? If not, you should be okay! As long as you are getting out and keeping occupied and not craving interaction when he returns from work, and giving him a list of things to do without 'unwinding' from the day! To start with, I was like a puppy when he got home, bright eyed and bushy tailed 'tell me about your day', and handing over lists of things that needed doing etc before he got his shoes off, and whilst he never said anything, it must have done his head in! - Will he still give me as much respect when I don't pull in a salary? My DH loved this aspect. For the first time he was earning more than me, and was fulfilling that traditional provider role. My hubby has a traditionalist personality type though, so it completely depends on your DH. Personally, I have been the one to find this hard to handle. I am allowed to buy whatever I like, he nevers makes me feel guilty about anything, but I constantly feel guilty about any purchase - even if it is just for groceries thesedays - it is ridiculous really, but sometimes you can't change the way you feel! Seriously, this is SUCH a personal decision, and comes down to how your DH, and you feel. I have made the decision to return to work. I personally think that because of my history, I will actually be far more focused and have much more 'value' time with DS, if I have some time away from him to focus on the 'me' part. It may actually end up I consult from home part time, so I may be lucky, but regardless, I truly believe the decision I have made to return to work, is right for us now. Whatever you do decide, it will be the right decision for you, for now, as long as you have your DH's backing, you can't go wrong! Good luck!

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Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 20:57

Yes definitely travola have all the food colourings in the Wilton range which is great. If you google Spiderman cake decorations you will get some good inspiration - I did this with my son's 1 year birthday cake recently for a dinosaur, although it didn't look that great on the day... as I only had 10 mins to ice it - silly me! I would use licorice for the spiders web... Good luck!

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Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 16:37

I second the bugaboo cameleon - it is pricey, but has been very, very good for us - and has travelled to NZ and London. Also, it was really handy that his 1st stage maxi cosi car seat fits on the base of the bugaboo, so if he fell asleep in the car, I didn't have to disturb him by transferring him out... HTH

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Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 15:56

Oh Congratulations! That is wonderful news, well done Mummy! Funny, we now have a few things in common - My DS was also born on the 24th (a year ago), a little early as well, and his name is Harrison - Harry for short! Just had to share the co-incidence! Enjoy, your wonderful little man! They are just delicious!!

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Latest post on 28 January 2011 - 23:59

I would have to say I think everyone must feel like this! I certainly take my hat off to all single parents out there with little or no support - incredible! I think that yes, having a second/third/forth... child is certainly going to be harder, but I think the toughest thing about number one is that you are having that major lifestyle adjustment that you have never had to deal with before. I know for me (and for many writers below it seems) it is a huge adjustment, you lose your ability to be spontaneous (you know, movies, dinners - without planning) your identity as an individual becomes blurred as all of sudder you become +1 (forever) .. which is incredible - obviously, but, all of sudden you have no weekends to look forward to, because guess what? You don't get the weekend or public holidays or any time off... so yes, the next ones are tougher, but the first is the biggest adjustment (IMO). The biggest recommendations I can say, is you HAVE to make time for yourself to focus on you, when you are not looking after DS, and your DH is. Whatever you like to do for you, go for a walk, dinner, lunch or coffee with friends, a movie, pedicure, have your hair done - whatever it is that give you a bit of 'you' time. I found at times I would almost feel claustrophobic that I couldn't do anything or go anywhere without DS and just not 'think' about anything. Even when DH was home, I was still primary caregiver, so still didnt get to relax. So DH would come home and even though DS was in bed, I would go for a walk around out compound, DH wouldn't have to do anything with DS, but I would still get a 'break'. On the weekends (in the first few months), he would help me get extra hours of sleep to catch up for during the week... You also need to try and make time for you and DH. This doesn't have to be out all the time (don't get me wrong, this is great too) but not everyone has the flexibility to do this. So you 'can' do it at home, we did this week, DS was asleep, we had a takeaway and watched a DVD in bed with popcorn - no calls, texting, laptops from either of us. DS is 1year and we have seen 1 movie and have been out for 2 dinners and 1 brunch - that will seem likes lots to some people and not much to others, but it has worked for us. We don't need to go out all the time, just every now and then is nice. Actually, you may have seen recently there is a new club in Dubai called the Fairy Godmother club, if you good this in facebook, you can join up. The concept is being an expat away from your family can be really difficult, so this group has been set up to help find surrogate families spend time with, whether it be grandparent figures, Aunt's and Uncle's etc... and you never know, you might be able to find someone that is happy to do a reciprocal babysitting arrangment... just a thought anyway... I really, honestly find, that if I just get a little time away, and a break from doing the nighttime routine, or the swim or whatever it is every now and then, I feel far more refreshed, and far happier doing it the rest of the time. Sending positive vibes out to everyone finding it a bit tough at the moment - it certainly isn't easy - regardless of the number of children you are looking after!

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Latest post on 28 January 2011 - 23:29

Plumie I completely hear you!! I felt the same way - I was able to drive from day one and it took me a few weeks - plus I had just moved to Dubai heavily pregnant, and wasn't allowed to drive when I got here, so I was learning to navigate Dubai with a newborn - eeek! RE: car accidents - clearly there is little we can do about this, besides driving responsibly, and always double check the carseat is securely fastened, just because you won't be in the routine yet for making sure your LO is fastened in, and you will be tired, so for the first few times, make sure you double check. With getting out and about, I used to make sure he was fed and clean diaper just before I left, and I planned short trips, and areas I was comfortable driving to - e.g. I live in Knowledge Village, so my first trips were short less than 10 min drives to Dubai Marina Mall to pick up a few groceries - which only has a short distance on SZR. He was in his maxi cosi carseat so if he fell asleep, I could just slot him onto his buggy base without disturbing his sleep, and then I stapped a cover over the front so the lights didn't disturb him. At this age *most* babies are pretty good at sleeping while out and about - obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but the movement of the car or buggy they are in usual aides rocking them to sleep.. (again, this doesn't work for everyone - but hopefully it does for you!) If it makes you feel any better, I certainly had a couple a episodes where DS 'lost it' in the middle of a store, and to be honest, you just get sympathetic looks, and there isn't too much you can do about .. And of course, they just happen to know when the most inconvenient and embarassing time will be.. All joking aside, it sounds like you are preparing yourself for the worst, so you will probably be pleasantly surprised! Good luck!!

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Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 09:01

Happy Australia day to the Aussies! As a Aussie cousin (Kiwi) I will be out celebrating the day tonight, having a sausage sizzle and eating four n twenty pies!

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Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 08:47

Scarlett78 - am just wondering if your little baby contracted chicken pox last year and if so, how bad was it? Did you have to do any kind of treatment? I have shingles and before i knew what it was I unknowingly must have exposed my 9 week old baby. Am hoping she'll get some immunity from me, but am still worried about her getting chicken pox. Has anyone had such a young baby get chicken pox? Hi GreenQueen There was a little thread on this a couple of weeks ago (actually about being pregnant and shingles/chicken pox risk) but I think it is still relevant to you. http://www.expatwoman.com/forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=132240 My take on it, is that your baby is only at risk if there is direct skin contact with weeping blisters (which it doesn't sound like she has). I looked into this a little while ago, and *apparently* it is very unusual for a child under one to get chicken pox, and that unless they get a fever, get sicker than you expect, have a rash around their eyes, or that the pox seem infected, it should be okay. If your DD is unlucky enough to get it however, keep a close eye out for this, and get her to a doctor, as there can be some serious complications. This isn't first hand experience, but as I said, I looked into this a little while ago, and that is what I found out. Anyway, I hope you are feeling okay, it is not easy having a such a young baby and being sick! Take care.

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Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 18:55

Poor thing! I completely emphathise, I had morning sickness (all day though) throughout my entire pregnancy. As shaf said, definitely try and snack regularly, and keep hydrated, I know it is difficult. I have heard ginger is supposed to be good as well for dispelling morning sickness. TBH I tried everything at the time, and nothing worked, so I have forgotten all the methods. I just ate regularly, my body craved breads and pasta's so I ate them (even though I am gluten intollerant). Definitely, start taking some vitamins, particularly if you are struggling holding anything down. I took pregnacare plus (which had the added folic acid), I used to take it as I was getting into bed each night because I found they made me feel even worse if I took them during the day, but at night, I was stationary, so they didn't get churned around so much. Good luck, most find the morning sickness goes away about the 12 week! And trust me, even though mine lasted the entire pregnancy, the result was so, so worth it!

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Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 16:42

egg, a friend of mine bought a [b'>genuine fake [/b'>rolex that lasted all of the trip back to the greens. we turned around had it replaced, and that one lasted a week :D bless "genuine fake" ??? LMAO !!! hehe - it is either that, or an "original copy"...

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Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 14:26

forever 21 There is very little anyone can say at this time that will help, but I do know it comforting to know that there are others thinking of you - so please know we are. My heart goes out to you and your DH, its sound like you are both being incredibly strong - continue to lean on each other though this time. *hugs*

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Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 17:32

Well Done Christeen! That is excellent. Keep away from the stray ciggies! Just a few days and you will be over the worst of it, and you (and your baby) will be better for it! Keep us posted!

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Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 17:20

Sorry, that was a little unhelpful of me! 0505446319 is the number we use.. 3 hour minimum. Thanks Tanya ..ur a star x Hi, Tanya Just phoned helping hands and they are asking 30dhs an hr ! ..I have a feeling they charge differenty according to location (how weird) I have phoned so many this afternoon and majority asking where my location and charging 35dhs. Are they charging you 25dhs if you dont mind me asking. No problems, we pay 25, but it just may not have increased for us, as we have been with them a while (just once a week for 3 hours), and live in Knowledge Village, but I need to check it, otherwise the increase will be chewing into our maids tip :( which I would not be happy about! HTH

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Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 17:14

I got them from Baby shop. Around AED 16-25 for a bag Now that, is far more reasonable! :) Thanks WA!

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Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 17:02

Sorry, that was a little unhelpful of me! 0505446319 is the number we use.. 3 hour minimum.

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Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 16:37

Helping hands are 25aed an hour. HTH

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Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 13:58

Don't panic too much. Clearly you have been seeing someone prior to now, and everything is progressing 'normally. I didn't have a Dr set up before I arrived in Dubai at nearly 30 weeks, and I had care in NZ and the UK prior to this, I was able to get an appointment (on a Saturday so my husband could attend) the next weekend after I arrived with the OBN/GYN I wanted. Check your health insurance coverage that it includes maternity (some do not). Also check the hospitals your insurance covers as well (some have a direct payment system set up with your insurance provider, so you don't have to pay after each visit, and then claim the money back - which makes it far simpler) You will need your insurance card, and all of your records so far when you go in, but they just take your name and number before this. I would do a hospital visit to where you are thinking of registering, and make sure you like it. If you have friends who have given birth here, perhaps get some recommendations from them for who they had, otherwise if you search on here you will find some recommendations - having said that, you will note that for each recommendation, there is probably another opinion saying they had a bad experience with them! So it is really a personal choice. There may be some Dr's that are unable to take you at this late stage, if they have too many patients, but you will still definitely get someone (and it doesn't mean they are bad!). Good luck, the BB&T forum is a fantastic resource, and you will get some great advice on there as well. BTW - Welcome to Dubai!

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Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 13:34

I'm almost 33, I have certainly 'aged' in the last year, but am not sure what 32 looks like anyway? All I know is that whenever I have told someone my age they are visibly shocked and think I am much older :( Me too MI although I've just turned 34. I'm sure I wasn't quite so haggard pre 3 children. I've taken to telling people I'm 40 then basking in the warm glow of all the 'you look much younger' compliments. Brilliant idea Daza - I have just turned 34 too ... and I will be adopting this idea from now on! hehehe

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Latest post on 17 January 2011 - 20:00

Am I the only one that looks older????? I have been asked for ID once in my life when I was about 16 - then when I said 'excuse me' to the bouncer, he said 'Sorry, my mistake..' and let me in. I have often been out with friends older than me when they have been asked for ID, and I have not. Guess no-one will be requesting my skincare secrets!!!

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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 15:22

Natashak Can't help out with the Preseed, but just wanted to wish you all the very best of luck. Lots of happy, healthy baby making vibes coming your way :) :) :)

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Latest post on 16 January 2011 - 11:59

Gentle bump .. TIA

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Latest post on 14 January 2011 - 19:59

I don't know why, but it does seem that different diapers work for different babies. We used various diapers, but ended up with pampers premium which we felt were best for DS. From what I know, as long as you have the right size, that the nappy is on 'straight' so sits straight on his hips (and not uneven), that the frills around the outter are pulled out (when you do this there is also an inside edge that I make sure is fully pulled flat to reduce leakage), and that they are firmly fastened - that is the best you can do. We still had nappy explosions, although not wee, just poo. On the point of his penis being pointed down - I alway found my DS's was too small to make sure it was pointed down (my husband is going to kill me for saying that!) but seriously, there is so much extra room in the front of the diaper that means they fall naturally at this age and really don't require any direction assistance! So not really much point of pushing it downways, if it is not going to be held in place by the nappy and just return to its natural resting place! Anyway, hope that helps - maybe try a few different brands if you are sure things are fastened/sized correctly... Good luck - you don't need anymore washing!

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 22:54

hmmm.. I am not sure - sorry, but I didn't want this to go unanswered, when there had been a few views! I didn't get my period back until about the same time, and mine has had the opposite effect. I have just done a bit of googling (with limited success) - average blood loss during a period is 40-60ml - but apparently some can lose up to 400-500ml - eeek! But apparently any period that lasts beyond 7 days is abnormal, but I ask, is that still the case after 'recently' having had a child. Dare I say it - if the colour is a red 'raw' colour and continually flowing I would definitely be concerned. But if it is just a really heavy flow, there might still be a little issue, but not 'dire' requireing immediate attention if you know what I mean. Any unusual pain at all?

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 22:31

I have heard of jellyfish here as well - can't vouch for them, but I have heard of them! http://www.jellyfish.ae/ HTH

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 22:25

Tanya I would love a copy as well. :) Thanks, Tam It just occurred to me that you could upload your documents to Google Docs and provide a link to them if emailing them becomes a chore... edited by sprystroud on 13/01/2011 Done (as are the others) I don't think admin will let me load links... I am pretty sure they have deleted a few posts ... will see though.

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 22:22

Hi LJB2010! Don't worry your DS will definitely be getting more milk 'directly from the source' than you get when you are expressing! If you aren't regularly' expressing, you probably aren't that efficient at getting all the milk out, where as your DS is. I exclusively expressed (up to just over 9 months) DS was having between 1000mls - 1250mls of breastmilk in a 24 hour period, and was BLW as well. As everyone says, every baby is different, so volumes can really vary. If you are trying to get more rest at night, I would suggest trying to fill him up with food and breastmilk in the late afternoon as much as possible. By 9 months DS was having 5 'meals', 3 main and then 2 snacks for BLW - but honestly, he wasn't taking in a 'huge' volume of food like a puree baby would. I find if I let him graze through the later afternoon until he goes to sleep, he would sleep. I would occassionally have to wake at 11pm (ish) for a bottle, but otherwise he would go right through to 7 - 7.30am. But he seriously stuffs himself during the day, which is why he lasts quite well through the night. Hope that helps!

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 16:51

They do have a smaller range and it isn't as well stocked, but it is the same allowance guideline. HTH Yes, thank you - also, you can bring it in if you don't have a licence? Definitely!

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 16:50

I have recently purchased a 2nd stage rear facing Maxi Cosi car seat here in Dubai (they have only very recently started stocking them). If they had not done this, I was going to have to get one sent, which was an additional 250euro (eek!). It should last my son until he is around 4 (maybe 5) years of age (depending on how long he is and weight etc). I brought the seat at Just Kidding, rear facing 2nd stage seats only fit certain types of cars, because it has to sit quite far forward (into the back of the front passenger seat) to be installed. So you need to ensure that if you chose to go with rear-racing that your car will support it. Just on the 'safest' aspect - recent studies show it is safer to keep you child rear facing for as long as possible, which is why more companies are starting to release these types of seats in the second stage. The reason for it being safer is because when you suffer a significant impact from the front, your head snaps forward, as adults our spine and neck are more robust /protected and are able to withstand the force of this - although we still get whiplash. Young children do not have this ability, which means their injuries are far more severe (I don't want to give examples). If your child is rear facing, in the event of a head on collision their head is cushioned by the seat being behind them and they are thrust backwards - therefore protecting them from the initial impact that causes much of the damage. HTH

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Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 16:32

They do have a smaller range and it isn't as well stocked, but it is the same allowance guideline. HTH

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Latest post on 11 January 2011 - 20:20

Park n Shop do the best bread. They buy Hovis flour mixes and have all kinds of hovis bread. I second this nomination, have only just recently discovered this (in the last 2 weeks) their Farmhouse and tin loaves and are the best white bread we have found (esp for butty's I am sure!). Often it is still warm when you buy it too! Prior this we always got Waitrose Farmhouse, but have now officially converted..

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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 14:21

You have mail. You will definitely be able to use this one. I got this particular one because it was the biggest on the market for sale (don't worry it isn't huge and unsightly!) But, I use Green Baby bottles (which are glass and tall) so it had to fit them...

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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 12:19

You are welcome to have mine. My DS turns a year at the end of Jan. I need to stop sterialising now, so this is a good incentive. It is still in really good condition (it is just the inside bottom element that doesn't look so flash). I have used it for nearly the full 12 months as I expressed breastmilk from when DS was a month old. Anyway, it is a tommee tippee brand. Just let me know.

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Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 12:10

Hi Ladies You should all have mail so can remove your addresses. Just thought I should mention that the details I am sharing is completely separate to the visa process and also the local contract they will need to sign - all of the standard legal stuff still needs to occur. The details I have put together is just for your relationship with your Nanny/Maid and is a starting point to remind you of things to discuss, and hopefully will just give you some triggers to work from. I hope it helps :)

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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 21:15

hi Tanya!! can I please please have a copy as well? Thank you! :) You have mail you can remove your address....

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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 18:32

I have popped you an email ladies, so if you receive it, you can delete your address. You should have the actual documents in 2-3 days. Good luck! Edited to add: actually you should have the documents now, managed to locate them in an email I had sent my husband. Let me know if you don't recieve them. <em>edited by TanyaR on 09/01/2011</em>

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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 18:22

Oh Congratulations! That is wonderful news, it is nice to be home and able to settle into your own familiar surroundings. Congrats again, such an exciting time!

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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 15:43

Yes, Polar are a good speciliast brand, that give you a good accurate measurement - anything polar branded should do the trick - but they do purely just do heartrate (that I know of). Top of the range is garmin (1300aed) as it tracks (through GPS) your training, creates maps showing distance covered (literally the roadmap of where you went) gradient covered etc, and it sync's with your laptop... very clever, but OTT for your requirements CT...

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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 14:37

Hmm what about a little onesie of his favourite sporting team colour, with 'future (whatever the team name is) in training - or supporter' printed on the front... obviously you won't know the gender of your baby yet .. but kind of a cute idea if he is into that sort of thing... <em>edited by TanyaR on 09/01/2011</em>

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Latest post on 09 January 2011 - 14:02

No problems at all. You can remove your addresses. I have sent you an email, but will have to follow up with the actual details, my laptop died about 2 days ago, so I am working from a new one, and I am getting a technician to retrieve my old files and copy them to a new remote harddrive. This has been a good lesson for me to backup everything and not just photos! Anyway, they will be with you in a few days. I hope they help.

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Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 23:20

I think there are 4-5 firms that do it here, in fact I think timeout may have done a comparison when were were looking (about this time last year...) that I looked at online. We had a little panic as DS decided he wanted to make an early arrival, and we hadn't quite got organised, so the SmartCells team came in on a public holiday to get us our pack - so they are used to these things being a bit of a rush! Good luck with your pending arrival - a very, very exciting time for you!

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 23:08

You need to make the arrangements prior to giving birth, so that you have your collection pack with you on arrival at hospital to hand over to them, then you have to make sure the courier is called to come and collect the pack within a few hours of the birth. (Well, that is what happened with ours anyway) We used SmartCells, they were very good and professional. I think there are a couple of other companies out there - but we chose them because they store for 25 years as apposed to 20 years. HTH

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 22:39

Another migraine sufferer here! My triggers are similar, I am light sensitive, smells, noises and gluten. I use mitchum anti-perspirant and deodorant - comes unscented and also powder fresh (which I manage to cope with). Perfumes are completely individual I think. I use very light perfumes, I never spray them directly on my skin, I make a spray cloud in front of me, and walk through it (preferably without my clothes on) - just in case I am super sensitive even with the perfume I usually use. At the moment I am using Marc Jacobs - 'Lola', and I like his 'Daisy' as well... Daisy is far lighter than Lola (DH gave me Lola as a gift, it is lovely, but I use really sparingly). HTH

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 22:24

Oh no! Don't worry, I am sure your DD will be absolutely fine, they are so well protected in there, and usually completely unaware of the distress we are going through being sick! I got a really bad chest infection late in my 3rd trimester, and coughed so much I pulled a muscle under my ribcage (or that area) DS was completely fine - but I went and had a check to be sure I wasn't passing anything on. Obviously, this is nothing on pneumonia - but still a similar thought process would have been going through my head to you! All you can do, is keep comfortable, well hydrated, and rest - try and keep your feet up. Listen to your Dr - but make sure you are aware of every procedure they are going to do, and drug they are going to give, and make sure you are comfortable with having it while you are pregnant. Good luck, I hope you are feeling better soon.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 22:10

Nappy rash is horrible. My neice had it badly once, so we would hose her down with the detachable shower head in the bath, rather than rub the area with wipes, then we would pat her dry with a very soft face cloth. As mentioned below, try and give lots of nude time as well to dry the area out. My son has had a little bit recently as he has had a case of diarrhoea, so it started to flare up, I would just make sure I was changing his nappy frequently (at least every 2 hours - he is 11 months) and then have been liberally apply bepanthen to the entire area - it doesn't seem to irritate him at all, and seems to clear his up really quickly. I hope you find something soon that helps out.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 19:11

I am happy to share what I have done, what works for us may not work for someone else, but this is how 'we' have chosen to do it. I have to say, this is my role, I am in HR, and my main specialities are Resourcing, employment law (including contracts) and performance management - which is why I am a little black and white around it. Having said that, when we offered our Nanny a role, she was also made aware, that working for us, she becomes an extended part of our family, so we are always concerned for her welfare also e.g. we have given her smoke alarms for her home (she is live out), we sent her kids presents at Christmas (even though she had only worked a couple of days for us) her Christmas present from us was a framed photo of her with my son (then another photo frame for her to put photo's of her children in them), her husband is coming home on Monday, we are picking him up from the airport. She is not my 'friend' but she has to be attached to my son, and like our family (if that makes sense) for her to work out. She said to me at the time we went through her contracts (I was a little worried I was going to freak her out with starting like this), she was relieved we did it, and that we have an open communication style. I do believe we have done 'everything' we can to avoid a miscommunication (as long as we keep it up as well) - but, again, she has only just started with us, so who knows what will happen! I am happy to share the areas I covered off in the contract, also, in all honesty, if anyone wanted a copy, I am happy to share this as well (no liability of course - hehe but it might give people a start point if you really aren't sure what you want) Anyway, the areas covered (as an overview) - Parties of the contract (employer and employee details); Position and duties (just a broad overview, specifics covered in the position description); place of work; hours of work; salary/allowances/bonuses/; annual leave/sick leave; probation period; duration of contract; privacy and confidentiality; outside employment (not working for anyone else); termination clauses .. It is only five pages long, but covered everything I could think of. Her folder has copies of : - her contract (including her govt one); - signed receipt copies for her pay; - first aid instructions (CPR - also on the kitchen door and in his room) - including a form she has to complete for any accidents my son is involved in e.g. . just in case he falls from a height doesn't exibit any immediate symptoms, but falls ill later and I am not aware of anything that has happened..; - her CV, passport details, health insurance - a section on my sons development at each particular stage - we have only just employed her so this is current, and I don't have for when he was younger as it was just me - a section on our house rules - i.e. never leave the compound unless with, never unbuckle his carseat when the car is moving, instructions on how to use our dishwasher, washing machine etc Sorry I am a bit rushed, but as I said at the start, happy to share if anyone has any questions - again, this works for us, but may not for others!

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 17:26

Englishrose I have just been through this process. My DS is 11 months old, and I have decided to do some part time work, so we have literally 'just' had someone start with us. As mentioned below, because of the different classes of employment contracts in the UAE, you MUST sponsor anyone that works for you directly, hey can't work for you on their husbands visa. I am not meaning to cause offence to anyone. But at your young babies age I 'personally' would hire someone 'one-on-one' in your home if I was you (which sounds like what you are thinking). At nursery they do not get individual attention, are exposed to various bugs (which are in abundance in Dubai), plus they are not focused on how you want your child to be raised, it is just whoever is looking after them at the time, and how that business operates. We have hired our Nanny directly (not through an agency). I placed an advert on EW, and got a huge response (a lot were not great I might add) - it took a while to meet the person we wanted, but as soon as we met her, I knew she was right for us. The person we have hired does have Nanny quals and first aid etc.. and children of her own, excellent references. BUT... TBH - I wasn't 'so' concerned about this (although still good to have), my major concern was finding someone that suited our family, who is honest and trustworthy, smart and can follow instruction - when told once (which obviously 'sometimes' comes from having undertaken higher education). I gave her a comprehensive contract, roles and responsibilities, very clear house rules, and each week we have a development plan for my son of what I want him to be doing, learning etc. which forms part of his learning folder. I cannot emphasis enough when you have a young baby it is really important to set clear guidelines of how you want them to be raised and looked after - this is your child, you need to feel completely safe to leave them at home alone with this person. My main focus was finding the right type of person for our family, knowing that the other pieces I can train, and that I won't return to work until I am comfortable with the relationship. I should also say, my career includes this type of work, which is why I am so focused on the individual training, and clear contracts/roles and responsibilities from the outset. Before our Nanny started, I gave her all the paperwork, which we sat down and read through first, then she took it home discussed it with her husband, then she came back and we discussed again, so there is little or no opportunity to say, I did't know that etc (unless I missed something out). So I know you are busy with a little baby at the moment, but I would strongly suggest you sit down with your husband and write down exactly what you want, and don't want etc. I know that there are lots of bad stories out there, but there are also lots of positive stories as well. So if you have made the decision to have a Nanny, you just need to set this relationship up for success by clear expectations from the outset. I am happy to have a chat with you if you are finding it all a bit overwhelming and not sure where to start! Good luck, it is not easy. And even though I have hired hundreds of people to work for me personally in the past, this is the most difficult and obviously the most important hire I have EVER made.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 January 2011 - 16:48

Each pregnancy you have is different, so I would try not to worry too much. To make you feel better, I put on 29kgs during pregnancy (not that I would ever endorse that much weight gain - it was over half my body weight). But I had terrible morning sickness (all day and night) from about day 14 of having conceived till 20 minutes before DS entered the work - so I ate the entire time to try and stop throwing up (not that I should make excuses!). Anyway, I can't remember my exact weight milestones, but I had already put on 24kgs by the time I was 6 months. They do seem overly focused on weight gain over here. I think as long as you are eating sensibly/healthily and trying to keep as active as possible, you will be fine. Obviously excessive weight gain is not advised, but with what you are put on so far, it doesn't look like you are in any way close to that! So I would really try not to worry, and just enjoy it.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 23:28

I wish I could share a secret ladies, but I am afraid I cannot. DS has always been demand fed, so his sleeping through the night, was completely up to him. He did that terrible witching hours routine of being restless and cluster feeding from 4pm - 7pm and then would sleep solidly for 12 hours. He did start waking once at 4.5 months for a feed for a few weeks, and still occassionally does this now at 11 months too. I just think some babies sleep, it is 'luck' to be honest I don't attribute it to anything I did, and I certainly pray my next ones do too!!!!

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