Tessa21 | ExpatWoman.com
 

Tessa21

Tessa21
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Latest post on 16 October 2016 - 21:59
I haven't been on here for a while as we are quite happy in Paris so delayed Dubaimbut had to respond not because I Know anyone but because I have concerns. Any doctor worth the name would not consciously intervene to deliberately create designer twins. The risks associated with multiple pregnancies are significantly higher than for a singleton pregnancy putting yourself and any foetus at risk. There are fertility drugs for women with fertility problems, who cannot conceive without medical intervention. A known complication is multiple pregnancy - sometimes quads but then one usually has to offer a selective reduction and this poses huge risks of aborting the pregnancy. Babies are not commodities to be traded and demands for a twin pregnancy are unreasonable.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 21 June 2016 - 23:36
We are starting off in Paris where HQ is then moving between the two countries fairly frequently. Would love a cup of tea and some toddler time as I will miss the little ones I work with.
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Latest post on 21 June 2016 - 23:32
Can't you just nail the little blighters to the wall? I have a funny image of tiny humans being hung up for being naughty or just to keep them tidy.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 20 June 2016 - 20:33
Baking - icing digestive biscuits and use sprinkles etc. Making fairy cakes Glueing and sticking junk - old cardboard tubes, bits of paper, lids etc Leaving to play with toys Making train or car from cardboard box Singing action rhymes The odd bit of TV Washing up plastic crockery Reading action books Water play in the bath Having friends to play and mums to talk to Indoor picnic
Tessa21
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Latest post on 01 June 2016 - 19:28
She was a dodgy dietician! Absolutely you should not use enemas for weight management. They actually damage the bowel by preventing natural processes, if used frequently. You will end up with a risk of long term problems like diverticular disease and even incontinence. Weight loss is less calories by one means or another (5:2, calorie counting, low fat, cabbage soup, etc) and higher calorie usage (exercise).
Tessa21
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Latest post on 01 June 2016 - 01:16
In truth the NHS does breast cancer care much, much better than any private hospital. Better support services such as wigs/colour me beautiful and clinical nurse specialists for prosthetics etc. Better clinical support if there is a problem - private hospitals do not deal with sepsis or DVTs. Better multidisciplinary working so better review of possible management and best recommendations. Breast cancer should not be managed in isolation by a single surgeon. NICE guidance says one-stop clinics and regional centre follow up. If you have no option but private then go to a NHS specialist centre offering private service such as Royal Marsden, Christie in Manchester or the private wing of a good NHS hospital that is a regional cancer centre.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 30 May 2016 - 00:01
The reason folic acid is recommended for women trying to conceive is to reduce the risk of neural tube defects. Low folic acid levels in diet are linked to increased NTDs - spina bifida in varying degrees. You take it prior to pregnancy as defects occur when there is a failure of the spinal column to grow fully around spinal cord in first few weeks - often when women don't realise they are pregnant. It makes no difference to baby after that risk is past. I would say take it but not to overdose levels - one tablet a day.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 18 May 2016 - 12:05
Daza is spot on about not fretting and making food a battleground. If the child is healthy and growing, stop worrying they will eat enough regardless. Battles or giving them complete control by showing your distress now will create problems down the line. Finger food is still good - pepper, cucumber, apple, raw broccoli, carrots, radish, melon, toast, pitta, hummus or other dips. Do not feed between meals so they are hungry - obviously is everyone is having an ice cream they do too but keep routine for meals. All eat together and all eat same thing. So put finger food up as a salad side dish. No pressure at all - if they eat, they eat. If they don't they will next time. No persuasion, no alternatives, no feeding them, no tension - make it a pleasure.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 17 May 2016 - 02:08
Stretch marks will fade over time but to speed the process try bio oil, if it is available in UAE. Potty training depends a bit on gender - girls tend to younger than boys - but the later you leave it (within reason) the easier it becomes. Plenty of mums tell you their child is trained at 16 months but on probing one discovers their child has lots of accidents, day and night. It is rare for infants to be properly trained before around their second birthday. My youngest boy was brilliant, I forgot about training him until he was due to start nursery at around 2 1/2. Within four days he was dry day and night and never had an accident - he was old enough to understand what was expected of him and wanted big boy pants. My eldest girl was theoretically dry at 18 months but I recall an awful lot of washing and a fuss taking spare clothes everywhere we went.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 09 May 2016 - 22:08
https://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/london What about airbnb?
Tessa21
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Latest post on 09 May 2016 - 22:05
Is this for real? I can't think of any condition in an adult that would need a monthly enema. If you have something like Hirschprungs disease or a neural tube defect then the bowel needs emptying much more frequently than monthly. If it is recommended less frequently than you are being probably putting yourself through it unnecessarily. Good, high fibre diet with lots of fluids and plenty of exercise is the answer! If you have already caused damage by unnecessary treatment then adding to the problem with the use of enemas will make it worse not better. Try a regular dose of lactulose, this being the case.
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Latest post on 29 April 2016 - 11:27
You could pay to have them privately in UK - not terribly expensive but suspect it would be fairly easy to arrange them in Dubai which seems overloaded with medical facilities.
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Latest post on 27 April 2016 - 15:59
All supermarkets have them. Most even do tubs of pomegranate seeds to save effort of removing skin. Even the markets usually have them. You can buy them online and have them delivered.
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Latest post on 26 April 2016 - 10:23
You are right, you won't be charged. Anyone would be given the same quality of healthcare although there is a move to try and recoup costs for non eu citizens. It is always best to be seen ahead of delivery, to make choices about hospital, birth centre, home birth and to start building relationships with key staff like your midwife. Also good to have antenatal record here so staff can anticipate needs and make sure advice at time is appropriate. Choice in labour is much easier when planned. Care during pregnancy and perinatal period is safer if people know you are pregnant and due to deliver. You need to consider the sort of delivery you want and make this known - epidurals, for example may not be available over 24 hours in smaller units and cannot be given in birth centres. There are higher risks associated with consultant led unit deliveries for low risk mothers etc. Best to book in advance but if you don't you'll still be looked after.
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Latest post on 16 April 2016 - 00:02
Or make your own? Tastier, more personal and kids will love that you've made it specially for them.
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Latest post on 11 April 2016 - 00:57
It is difficult but he will grow out of it. Antibiotics won't hurt or weaken body except by increasing risk of community resistance and possibly upsetting gut flora. Things to consider might be whether it is correct antibiotic - have they swabbed and cultured? Then might be worth a longer course to 'knock it on the head'. Good idea to reduce risks of further infection for a while by avoiding crowds, no sharing cups or ice lollies etc with others including family and good home ventilation. Luckily you have lots of sunshine in Dubai which is a good natural disinfectant for strep bugs. Avoid underwater swimming. Meanwhile live yoghurt is good at maintaining gut flora. Homeopathy has been proven to be ineffective. There is some evidence that vitamin c helps so lots of citrus fruit and also echinacea.
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Latest post on 27 March 2016 - 03:54
Well established that homeopathy is no more effective than placebo. It does not work except by allowing gullible to feel that somehow it is more 'natural' and therefore safer and less harmful than proper drugs. This is absolute tosh. It is not natural and homeopathic medication is at best so dilute as to be totally ineffective and at worst potentially very dangerous. It is not more natural than many proper drugs that are tested to,ensure safety. Digoxin for heart failure, for example, is from the foxglove. Penicillin is a mould based antibiotic - perfectly natural. Herbal,stuff can also be potent and risky. St Johns Wort has huge serious interactions and causes all sorts of problems. Black Cohosh prevents cancer treatments working. Of course, the odd dose of Oil of evening primrose isn't going to do much harm but people need to be careful. Now homeopathy - I have seen gold given for weakness and excessive bruising in a child, for example. Tragically, the child had a leukaemia that went undiagnosed until it was too late. Homeopathy and herbal stuff is fine for things that will get better anyway - Echinacea for colds is pretty harmless and allows people to think they are preventing/ treating colds ( research would suggest otherwise) I would strongly suggest, particularly with children, that you developed a relationship with a doctor you trust to give good advice. Acupuncture, however, is shown to be effective in many conditions. .
Tessa21
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Latest post on 23 March 2016 - 23:37
Homeopathy has long been shown to have no benefits over and above placebo. Vinegar is not going to sort you out, I am afraid. There are a few things that help but you need to see a proper fertility specialist to have a few checks on things like your hormone levels throughout your cycle and whether you are ovulating. Your husband also needs a check to make sure his sperm count is OK - it is not always the woman who is the root cause of infertility. To encourage conception - make sure you are a healthy weight, use an ovulation predictor kit or a thermometer to gauge when you ovulate. Save 'the moment' until you are most likely to be ovulating rather than trying as often as possible. Oddly - and this is going to sound like madness - if your husbands sperm is not particularly motile - poor swimmers - then a headstand after the event helps occasionally. Alternatively lying with a pillow under hips to allow best position for sperm to reach ovum.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 19 March 2016 - 22:27
Hair loss is horrible but there are a lot of myths associated with it that need correcting - people pay a fortune for cures that won't work and believe all sorts of absolute tosh on this and other health issues. Most hair loss isn't as bad as sufferer thinks and is often stress related. Long term alopecia isufferers are frequently pulling their hair out without even realising they are doing so - Trichotilomania is the technical term and often seen as part of a general anxiety or obsessive compulsive personality traits. Vitamin d deficiency should not be a problem in Dubai unless you never go out in the sun. Low iron level is synonymous with anaemia. You cannot have low iron and not be anaemic. It would have to be really quite severe to cause hair loss - to the level where pulse was rapid and breathing was affected over a prolonged period. Hormonal changes and some hormone type drugs can cause a degree of thinning - pregnancy can make hair thick and glossy or can result in some hair loss. Postpartum hair loss is quite usual but rarely severe. The contraceptive pill can bring on some hair thinning initially but it usually settles after a few months. Steroids cause hair thinning/loss. Immunosuppressants cause hair thinning/loss. Post breast/gynae cancer drugs like Tamoxifen and Herceptin cause thinning/loss but usually settle down. Organic shampoos make not a bit of difference. A scalp infection can create a degree of loss in short term but you would also have sores or itchy scaly patches. Treated with fungicidal shampoo. Caffeine shampoo can help but won't overcome loss caused by drugs. Don't brush hair too much it can break hair and make it look like you are losing hair. Dermatologists are people to see for serious hair loss. Minor loss - answer is to avoid damage by sun, chlorine, excess brushing, elastic bands, treatments, heated appliances. Shorter hairstyles make hair look thicker and reduces weight on follicles.
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Latest post on 17 March 2016 - 23:14
The procedure is low risk and straightforward. It will clear ears in short term - assuming he has glue ear causing reduced hearing. The grommets (tubes) would give a slightly longer term solution so might be worth taking the hit on ear plugs rather than putting the child through surgery twice if they were needed after eardrum had healed. Eardrum healing takes 4- 6 weeks if there is no infection present at time of surgery. Grommets is done as day surgery and complications are minimal. The risk of not having grommets is hearing loss and consequent speech and learning difficulties. I would maybe talk a bit more to your surgeon re whether recurrence/continuance of glue ear is likely. Earplugs are a small price to pay for hearing.
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Latest post on 13 March 2016 - 00:38
Technically the combined pill is not licensed for this use so packaging will not give details. Alternative is to go and get a coil fitted quickly.
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Latest post on 13 March 2016 - 00:36
Within 120 hours of the act, you can use a high dose of the combined contraceptive pill as an emergency measure with little risk. You need sufficient of your brand to give 100mcg oestrogen and 50mcg progesterone and to take two lots of this dose 12 hours apart. Do not consider this if you have previous blood clot problems.
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Latest post on 10 March 2016 - 12:56
It's hard, really hard. Can your husband do a shift so you can sleep deeply for a good few hours and then have a long bath undisturbed to allow you to feel human again? Consolation is that lively babies tend to be bright and inquisitive. I once managed to get all of mine to doze off in the car (youngest was a baby) at the same time so decided to pull into our driveway and have a much needed nap. I didn't want to try and move them into house as they'd all start crying and wanting things so just lay seat back and shut my eyes. Heaven - except a very nervous and ashen faced policeman tapped at my window just as I drifted off. I lost the plot and screamed at him that all I wanted was 20 minutes sleep etc the kids were all bellowing except the eldest who was asking why mummy was cross with the policeman in an irritating seven year olds voice. Poor man thought I had decided to end it all with all six children in the car. No wonder he was worried. He did carry baby in very apologetically and did play with my sons train set for a while over a mug of tea whilst working out I was just exhausted rather than planning something more sinister. Getting them to stop sleeping was more of a problem later on......it will pass and you will cope
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Latest post on 10 March 2016 - 03:17
Sorry no recommendations but at three months there is no problem except unrealistic expectations based on the completely natural desire for your own sleep. Most breastfed babies are still feeding up to two hourly at this age - day and night. Bottle fed babies may go a bit longer but are still needing a night feed usually somyounare lucky if you get three hours unbroken sleep. You'll start solids soon and that generally improves things a bit but you then get teething which reduces it again. Acceptance is the key - stressing makes it worse for you both. If you are at wits end just get a sling and carry them around with you, sleeping whenever they do - you have to nap at every available opportunity. It passes quickly and in a few months you can train them properly to go through the night. Routine will,help until then. A clear message re daytime and nightime with a warm bath and darkened room in evening (for baby, not you) then minimal,attention until morning. Feed if necessary but straight back to the cot with no games or cuddling. Don't put the light on for night feeds. Training for going through the night takes nerves of steel, tolerant neighbours and a commitment from both parents but does work in four days - start around 8 months. Put to bed nicely, light off, door closed, leave until morning. Two alternatives for ensuing screaming -1) ignore totally - very hard to do but very effective or 2) leave for ten minutes go in simply say 'it's sleep time" and leave having assured yourself they are safe. Keep doing this for as long as it takes until they sleep. Do not pick them up, do not give them water, do not start patting and singing. They learn very quickly that nights are for sleeping. With method 1 it is usually two hours crying first night, an hour on second and then straight to sleep on third or fourth night. The alternatives are just as effective dependent on your parenting style - let them sleep,as and when and where they want throughout early childhood. Saves lots of early battles but means parents lose and evening to themselves. Then there is co-sleeping (very controversial) works a treat for many difficult sleepers but rubbish for marital relations.
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Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 22:19
Ahh I see that now - person ahead of me had bumped to top of recent threads section. I'm now curious on how it worked out but guess we'll never know.
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Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 16:52
Which country are you a citizen of? I agree he has behaved badly but that isn't going to help much going forward. As someone said, pragmatism is needed and you come across as eminently sensible. My thoughts are a single woman without income in Dubai is going to struggle particularly with setting up a sufficiently profitable business whilst managing children and trauma of separation. If you have some money, it might be better to set up a business in your 'own' country where there may well be financial support and a safety net. If you spend money on a business and it doesn't have adequate return to finance you and your family then you are left with nothing. Returning 'home' would be even harder. If you happen to be an EU citizen, you have the choice of many countries at the moment with the financial advantage of social security, healthcare and education. You might even get support with housing. Children are resilient and adapt to changes in schools and place of residence - the marriage breakup will be harder for them than the moving. Sad for the maid but you have to act in the best interest of your family not an employee. Only you can know what is best but maybe don't assume staying put is best option.
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Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 15:19
Sounds grim, I really feel for women who have such poor experiences at such a difficult time. Rudeness and lack of compassion from medical professionals are never acceptable. The others are right, it does not mean you can't go on to successful pregnancies and healthy babies. Lots of women miscarry (possibly about a third of all pregnancies) some aren't even recorded as pregnancies. I do wonder if we do women a disservice with such accurate early confirmation of pregnancy and such high expectations that all pregnancies result in beautiful bundles. There are things some women find helpful in dealing with pregnancy loss at all stages. My guess is that specialist bereavement support services aren't available in Dubai as care is not midwife led but you may find buying some small memento of the baby helps, a little bracelet, a tiny book to write your hopes and sadness in, a tiny baby grow to hold until the tears are done and then put away when you are ready. Later pregnancy loss mothers find a careful photograph helps. Giving the lost baby a name can also help make them feel real rather than simply something to forget. Few mothers actually want to forget and advice to do so is rarely helpful. You need to get to a stage where you can accept, remember the joys that pregnancy brought - and even the shortest wanted pregnancy usually brings some joy - and recognise that there is a positive future. This bit often isn't easy if it is a later loss or if there is additional trauma such as unkind medical staff, unaccepting relatives or partners or medical complications. It will get better and although very cliched, time does usually heal.
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Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 15:01
It is difficult to keep weight down in pregnancy as you feel more tired, so tend to do less and eat more. You have already put on 7kg - which is about the total recommended gain if your BMI is over 30. Given you are only five months and most baby related weight gain is in last trimester you do want to be careful to minimise any actual weight gain for yourself as opposed to baby. There are increased risks associated with excess weight in pregnancy - increased assisted (forceps) due to shoulder dystopia or maternal exhaustion, increased c-section, increased gestational diabetes which can mean baby ends up in neonatal unit rather than with you, more discomfort for you with backache, pelvic pain and skin rubbing problems. Also much greater risk of pelvic floor problems afterwards and so incontinence and need for more surgery. If you are lighter, the weight gain recommended is slightly higher around 12.5- 20 kilos for women with healthy BMI. Good suggestions are swimming (to burn calories, relieve weight of baby on spine and to make you feel comfortable. It has to be energetic rather than 'wallowing' to work though. Walking is also good. There is no reason not to do more vigorous exercise if you want - gym, running, Zumba. Pregnancy does not require special diets but healthy eating is good. Give up all added sugar in drinks, biscuits, cakes, sweets and ready cooked meals. Water retention is rarely a problem at 5 months. Drink lots of water, eat lots of vegetables.
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Latest post on 28 February 2016 - 03:51
If he is four they are milk teeth so won't be there for long. On molars it isn't really going to be an issue so maybe follow your dentists advice.
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Latest post on 28 February 2016 - 03:49
I'm curious as to why you think you have bipolar? Your posts feel very rational and do not suggest mania or extreme depression. You will need a full workout to exclude physical problems including thyroid dysfunction, abnormalities of metabolism, pregnancy, and then full assessment of your mental health. People with bipolar usually lack insight into their illness - it is one of the defining features so to,think you have the condition would be rate. Most affected people cannot recognise themselves as having the illness.
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Latest post on 23 February 2016 - 03:51
The age to stop is when someone feels uncomfortable. I have never kissed my children on the lips - I feel it is for partners only and cannot see a need. We are quite touchy freely but to the children it is cheeks, noses, foreheads, eyelids and to friends the double cheek air kiss - with a hug if appropriate. To my mother a cheek kiss. I think we need to teach children they have the right to refuse any physical contact they do not want - only way to protect themselves - if a relative doesn't understand personal space and privacy rights that is their problem.
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Latest post on 18 February 2016 - 03:19
Hi, I think you have misunderstood slightly - it isn't a question of waiting six months; that would just take us to September when he is due to start year 11. We would need to wait a year and six months for him to finish school, by which time the job for my husband would no longer be on offer. I certainly do value my son's education - if I didn't, I wouldn't be posting on this site asking for advice! He is a sociable boy and I have no worries about him making new friends. I suppose I feel he is not making fantastic progress at the school where he is presently, he has a July birthday so is one of the youngest in the year, would redoing year 10 be such a bad thing? Redoing a year might be the answer, I guess. At least that would mean he came out with adequate qualifications for further/ higher education in the future. Not a decision I envy you! I can't talk about Dubai schools but am sure there would be places that accept at year 10. If his current school isn't good it might all work out for the best.
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Latest post on 18 February 2016 - 00:26
He may well regret it if he doesn't get his minimum 5A-C GCSEs including maths and English. He may blame you later if you take him away from all that is familiar at such a crucial time in his education. Maybe if you valued education a bit more, he might too. Can you really not wait in UK for just six months whilst he finishes off school here? You could go out holidays and for his study leave. Does he have a close relative of friend you could pay for him to lodge with? If there is no option but to move then I would think the poor boy will have to redo years 10 and 11 as the course may well be different - different exam boards, different set texts, different countries as case studies in geography, different religions in RE, different sports in PE etc. Almost impossible for a child to move at this stage and not suffer because of it.
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Latest post on 16 February 2016 - 18:59
Lots of places don't have 11+ - Kent does, Sussex doesn't, Hampshire doesn't, Surrey doesn't, Essex and Buckinghamshire you do. Some London Boroughs you do but otherwise most are in comprehensive system. Tests are school specific rather than an 11+ - so tutoring may be difficult if they don't have past papers. Where there are 11+entrance grammars these are usually optional extras. Don't assume grammar is better - there are some grammars with selective intake where the results are statistically much worse than those from better non selective comprehensives. I am thinking Kent coast in particular. Many comprehensives are up with the very best and results look worse because they take children of all abilities including those with special needs. Our eldest two did fine from a comprehensive - 6A's at A level, and 4A's at A level respectively. Our youngest wanted to board so went privately and will get much the same as she would have from the comprehensive - it is not necessarily the quality of teaching you are paying for.
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Latest post on 16 February 2016 - 13:38
I will be shouted at but here we go - it does fall into my area of practice. Constipation is surprisingly common in formula fed babies. Firstly stand back and ask is it actually constipation? Many babies grunt and go bright red when 'going'. That is not showing distress it is related to the feelings going creates and the natural effort they are not quite used to. Frequency is the next factor - not every formula fed baby goes as often as the next. Breastfed babies rarely get constipated - tends to be bright mustard coloured other extreme that leaks all down their legs. Trapped wind can be a cause of colic and mimic constipation. Look at feeding using an anti colic teat or try a thing called Infacol if it is available in pharmacies near you. Do not prop up to feed - lay in arms as upright feeding in bouncy chairs etc can exacerbate colic. Dubai is perfect for creating mild dehydration - either hot or air conditioned - is baby overdressed for temperature? Do you give boiled water between feeds - they often need it? If they are constipated a tiny amount of sugar in the water can sometimes resolve the situation - but don't use routinely. Look in their mouth - does it look dry at all? Avoid drugs and laxatives at all costs unless prescribed by a paediatrician. On the odd occasion there is a very firm stool that is 'stuck' you can apply a smear of Vaseline around and just inside the outlet with a little finger (trimmed nails). This can get the initial lump through and the rest generally follows. Firm but gentle abdominal massage is harmless and can ease the transition too - kneading from top to bottom of abdomen. At 11 weeks you will be thinking about mixed feeding and so can introduce pureed fruit and veg very shortly. I don't doubt that will cure the problem. Babies given regular pureed broccoli, apricots and prunes rarely have a problem. Mainly avoid worrying too much - stress can be picked up by babies and will make them more distressed and they will look more constipated. When you absolutely MUST seek medical help quickly for a very young baby - If baby reacts badly when tummy touched - reflex scrunching up of legs, screaming, hard to touch tummy, Vomiting (not posseting). Temperature above 37.5C. If there is blood in the stool (fresh or black tarry stools) or the stools are very pale and chalky looking. If they have not been for three days. If they have dry nappies for prolonged period. Watery diarrhoea.
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Latest post on 16 February 2016 - 13:11
I'd have to agree with Bristol over Wolverhampton. My sister in law has lived in Bristol all her adult life and they have a really good lifestyle. There are some nice housing areas in Redland Green, Clifton and I am sure other parts. Easy access to lots of very beautiful areas such as Devon and the Cotswolds. Flights direct from Bristol airport to many (mainly Europe) destinations for breaks. Lovely riverfront with lots to do for children. Ours still remember Wendy the elephant at the zoo and playing on the river taxi's. We saw our first IMAX film in Bristol. Not sure of details as mine are nearly all full grown now but you do get childcare vouchers for three year olds that offset nursery costs - I think three days a week are paid for and there are some state run (free) nursery's if you are not looking for full time. Some very good state schools in Bristol too - although like any large city there are also some less good schools.
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Latest post on 14 February 2016 - 19:03
Of course, silly me. That is an even better uk salary - £66k - very liveable on here in most areas. Our daughter is just setting up home with her young man. The are buying a 2 bedroom flat (early Victorian, so big rooms) in very nice area for 270k but you can get cheaper houses. Our penthouse flat in Birmingham city centre is 3 bedrooms and was around 300k four years ago - but move slightly further out, move down a few floors and you get 3 bedrooms for 150k. Our daughter's boyfriend has been renting a 2 bedroom for £350 per month including bills and wi fi).
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Latest post on 14 February 2016 - 01:11
I realise that - I guess I was suggesting you could always not have a scan - I don't know circumstances but if IVF I assumed (maybe erroneously) that the hospital treating would do scanning and be quite good at it. If it is a normal pregnancy maybe reconsider having the scan - babies don't need them. They give a reasonable date but rarely more accurate than most women can work out for themselves. Sounds like a horrid experience that you could do without repeating.
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Latest post on 14 February 2016 - 00:52
Many would consider 55k a good salary. Medics get paid far more- dependent on grade. Is your husband UK citizen as immigration for non EU citizens is increasingly difficult. FY1 medics get around 34k with banding - but you must be senior to that. If you have completed CT2 you can get around 48 k. Cost of living depends very much on whereabouts you choose to live. London and much of south is more expensive than north but plenty live a good life on less. Areas like Stoke on Trent, Liverpool, Manchester are much cheaper than down south - although there are pockets of high cost housing. With NHS care, free education and low cost supermarkets life can be pretty cheap. Uk is obviously colder but also has very beautiful areas and beaches. My gut feeling is that UK is a more equal society - certainly in medicine and much public sector work nationality is irrelevant. You probably won't have a live in maid in Uk but cleaners are around 10GBP per hour in London and south, less in Midlands and north. Working hours seem to be better in UK - except for junior doctors, hotel and catering staff and care workers. Most work around a 38 hour week with weekends off. There seems to be less emphasis on being beautiful in UK (particularly outside London)- massive generalisation and plenty of spas and beauticians here but many wear jeans, jumpers and wellies and don't have their nails done ever. Potential,for big savings there.... It feels like we eat out less in uk and much socialising(again outside major cities) is done through supper parties at home with friends. It's definitely cheaper to throw a lasagne together than eat at Asha's - although we have an Asha's too. More old people here. More overt antisocial behaviour in some areas - although by no means widespread. It feels like UK is more tolerant of differences in attitude/behaviours and religion. Depends what you want. We are coming out to Dubai in September for 2/3 years and are looking towards retirement but would always see UK as our preferred place of residence, I think.
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Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 20:32
UK norm would not include TV ultrasound - it would be abdominal,for both dating and anomaly. Only time TV scan might be used would be if ectopic suggested. I have never heard of stirrups for ultrasound.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 21:14
Plenty of mothers have their whole family with them during delivery - particularly at home births. children are remarkably unfazed by such things if the parents are relaxed. I know a few obstetricians who might not encourage the idea but a few who would go along with it assuming no operative/assisted delivery necessary. Plenty of people will tell you it's wrong but the mother knows her family best and is best placed to make the decision. ...................................and I was going to stop commenting on here. So weak, sigh.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 30 January 2016 - 02:32
White is not a racist term - neither is black - it acknowledges the ethnicity of someone. Failing to acknowledge and respect differences is perhaps more racist. Racism is treating someone less favourably because of their ethnicity: recognising that differences in appearance and cultural heritage exist is far from racist. The term Gypsy however...... Statement of fact pierced ears on tiny children are less acceptable to white middle class parents in UK - whether that is right or wrong is neither here nor there. It is how it is. I understand it is likely to be different in a country with such an ethnically diverse population - although from some of the posts and replies, I suspect there is still snobbishness and one upmanship amongst expats living in UAE. I am not sure I ever passed judgement just questioned why one would consciously inflict avoidable pain on an infant. I had forgotten the ready access to over the counter topical anaesthesia and was unaware that requirement was for a doctor to perform the piercing. We live and learn. I specifically said that the child's appearance was a matter entirely for the parents. Delighted to hear there is no class structure or different cultural behaviours in Dubai. Delighted beyond belief that everyone is truly equal - it's something that had troubled me and slowed our decision making.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 January 2016 - 19:36
Actually, little ones do not 'forget' pain and little ones do not have a reduced neurological system that makes them feel pain less. That view was dismissed in the early 70'2. I still remember when it was acceptable not to give neonates post operative analgesia but things have moved on the research 9whichis quite extensive) demonstrates that early experience of pain might not be remembered at a cognitive level but has a huge impact on how pain is perceived later in life. Pain is not a purely physical thing and the effects are exacerbated if the pain is imposed by someone trusted such as a parent. That said Emla should sort out earring pain - a generous smearing, covered with a non-absorbent dressing (or clingfilm) and left for at least 30 minutes should ensure that piercing is relatively pain free. Why an intelligent parent would want to risk a child suffering the pain of an infection (albeit minor) or an earring caught on clothing pulling and tearing the skin is still something I don't understand. The aesthetics of a tiny child with earrings is entirely for the parents but in UK they do tend to be associated with lower social economic groups or people from other cultures where it is the norm and are frowned upon by the white middle classes. Maybe the UAE having doctors doing the deed changes that perception a bit - in UK it is often poorly trained 'beauticians' and shop assistants - or sometimes a friend at school with a sewing needle.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 January 2016 - 01:16
Actually, I wasn't thinking about the look - that is entirely a parental concern. Doubting Thomas is right it is a cultural issue - but not in an expected way. I hadn't thought about who does the deed and availability of topical anaesthetic cream. I was wondering why any mother would deliberately cause unecessary pain to a toddler. In uk beauticians pierce ears. Emla is prescription only and nobody I know would consider prescribing for a piercing ears.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 January 2016 - 02:30
I shall take the bait as well - as someone unused to house aids, it feels like you are wanting a Labrador not someone who you want a relationship such that you trust them to care for your children. What does a well behaved maid do - curtesy and walk around with her head bowed in your presence? What has her nationality to do with their ability to do your menial tasks? In my experience, respect is a mutual thing. If she is so bad, perhaps she should go and you should care for your own children and house? You only have two little ones, for goodness sake (It sounds like you aren't in paid employment.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 January 2016 - 01:20
I'm curious why you would put a child that young through this?
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2016 - 21:26
Molluscum is a self limiting condition and harmless. There is no recognised treatment although some people swear by tea tree oil. It is contagious - hence full name, molluscum contagiosa so spreads in schools and families. Cryotherapy won't work. Leave to heal by itself is best way to manage but avoid shared towels.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 January 2016 - 18:26
I would have thought you were best person to help him. Lots of fun reading together, bedtime stories, shared word puzzles, making a family newsletter, keeping a journal etc
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 January 2016 - 00:07
It is hard - particularly if you get conflicting advice. It is normal to stop bleeding at such an early stage it is usually more like a period. Usually remaining 'tissue' is reabsorbed - the baby/foetus is about the size so a sesame seed and you would not notice anything specific passing. You need to seek medical opinion urgently if you develop a very high temperature or start bleeding heavily - although both these are very unlikely. I am not sure what you are expecting to 'come out' - your last doctor is right just leave well alone and let your body settle. It may be up to six or eight weeks for your normal cycle to restart. Retained placenta at 5?weeks is very rare and so surgery isn't usually necessary.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 January 2016 - 21:54
Wickedangel is right. I would be tempted to ask the doctors why they are suggesting a D and C rather than allowing nature to take its course. In UK guidance from Royal College is that you should wait for natural completion of miscarriage and do a pregnancy test 3 weeks afterwards. If there is continued bleeding then something like misoprostol is prescribed and it causes completion. Rarely would there be surgical intervention at this stage of pregnancy and that would be vacuum aspiration not D and C. It would be good to understand why they are suggesting this - if you are two days post loss and not bleeding heavily there is often no need for any intervention. Many women at 5 weeks don't even know they are pregnant and something like a quarter to a third of all pregnancies end in miscarriage.
 
 
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