Tessa21 | ExpatWoman.com
 

Tessa21

Tessa21
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Latest post on 30 November 2015 - 12:49
You are clearly kind. Do what you believe to be right - rarely does kindness create problems.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 30 November 2015 - 12:46
Surely it boils down to someone with evil intent stealing a child? We are quick to judge but this family have lost a child. When mine were little, I sometimes went to the loo or even had a bath whilst they were in the garden, let them walk to the corner shop (in our old house, before I am accused of lying) and helped them grow up trusting the world. Evil is the perpetrators fault, not the victims. A bit like being raped is not down to wearing mini skirts and being mugged is not down to walking in the dark. I very rarely lock my door.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 28 November 2015 - 02:11
Buddha I suspect she'll enjoy it more than us- but you never know!
Tessa21
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Latest post on 28 November 2015 - 02:08
Thanks not trying to make it difficult but if we are going to live somewhere for a few years we want it to be somewhere nice and we have very limited experience of the various area of Dubai.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 28 November 2015 - 02:05
Mumonthemove is spot on. The best way to stimulate milk production is by feeding frequently. The body has a feedback system so,once established you produce exactly the right amount of milk for your baby. Blocked ducts are also best cleared by a spot of repositioning and getting baby to latch and suck on blocked ducts. There are very few babies who can't feed and need specialist support - things like cleft palate, neurological deficit, and tongue tie (although that is very easily cured). You really don't need anyone to massage your breasts. If the are painful from being full or have a blocked duct use a warm flannel and get baby sucking. If however you feel ill, have a temperature above 38c and redness then you may have mastitis and need medical advice.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 27 November 2015 - 23:08
And I do hope my children have emotional intelligence too. They seem to be good communicators and I certainly would never judge success by income.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 27 November 2015 - 23:06
See, small world! Yes we do have VIP tickets but I think nearly everyone does. Does she work for the radio station?
Tessa21
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Latest post on 27 November 2015 - 21:14
I fully accept it is some peoples dream to be a hairdresser. I said I would happily support my children if that was their dream but only if it was a conscious and well researched choice not if they did it because they hadn't got the qualifications follow their actual dream. Are hairdressers well qualified? I suppose that could be unpicked and it is relative. In uk most hairdressers do a 2 year course at fe college having got some GCSEs they may well do more courses and end up as very well qualified hairdressers but I have rarely met any with good A level/IB results or decent degrees from a Russell group. Academically snobbish? Possibly as I did/do expect my children to leave school with high academic grades, a vision for their future and demonstrable success in extracurricular activities such as music, dance or sport. Probably makes me a bad mother on here!
Tessa21
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Latest post on 27 November 2015 - 16:24
I really can't imagine Christmas in Dubai is the same as Christmas here. We start with the village nativity play which begins with the vicar in the pub - and a real sheep with Christmas lights on. We sing carols and process up to the church where the play continues and becomes a slightly more serious service - people bring their drinks as the vicar prefers that people attend even if they are under the influence. He very rightly points to the wedding feast of Cannan as evidence that drink and religion are OK, We go back to friends for supper and silly games - all the children get on as they have grown up together. Christmas day is stockings then Mass, drinks at other friend's house and then a walk before Christmas lunch at about 4pm after the Queen. Then we do presents in front of the fire. Boxing day is a walk tor see the hunt leave then a drinks party for our neighbours and friends. Lovely. Dubai I am seeing more swimming than walking and a roaring fire being slightly inappropriate. Smartphones - given them by my work and essential to see all the test results etc I need. Even fairly old people can be IT literate, surprisingly. BR trains - how else do people get to London? Not a pleasure certainly but has to be done. I don't think I insulted hairdressers as I said I was happy for my children to be one if that was what they wanted but I wanted them to make a positive choice about their adult lives not have to do something because they didn't get the grades to follow their dreams. I think some people may be actively seeking offence and looking to create confrontation that in reality doesn't exist. I am about to upset your image of me by telling you I am going to a pop concert tomorrow -although in fairness I have never heard of the acts and I am worried it is a bit loud. My children tell me it is an amazing line up - Years and Years (seems appropriate) Jess Glynne (??) Sigma ( I thought that fraternity house) The Vamps and John Newman (I thought he was a beatified cardinal). No idea what I should wear as I can't see me in micro shorts and a glittery crop top. Any news on how we should accommodate the children and partners in a much smaller (but clearly more acceptable) house? Trouble with sand is it really doesn't hold tent pegs well.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 27 November 2015 - 03:10
Northumberland -definitely not. Very beautiful and wild but a bit nippy. Am I real, am I not? Surprised that people give a jot. Some are kind, some live the dream But there are others far more mean Do I feel drawn towards such cynics? I'm not quite sure I'll fit in the mix. The ode is sweet and rather funny, Makes me a very happy bunny!
Tessa21
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Latest post on 26 November 2015 - 20:07
In UK you would usually be treated with a cone biopsy unless there was no clear margin or if you were past wanting children when a hysterectomy would be advised. The remit would then be watch carefully - unless there was any indication of further spread of disease. It sounds like you do need a second opinion as there is evidence of further local spread and it needs proper staging by a specialist pathologist experienced in the recognition of gynae cancers through a multidisciplinary forum which includes a surgeon and an oncologist. From what you say you have spread of some cells post surgery so I suspect a sentinel node biopsy and MRI are in order. Gynae is not my area of expertise but I know enough to say that if there are now indication of cancerous cells within the body of the uterus you should seek further advice rather than waiting. Always difficult but earlier treated better prognosis and sounds like you are still at the cure stage. Still a huge worry, I am sure. Hope all gets sorted sooner rather than later.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 26 November 2015 - 01:33
Thank you for your kind offer Stix, I'll be sure to ask if I think of anything else. Oh yes, I am wondering what has made you so dismissive and so judgemental and hard towards someone you have never met? Difficult childhood? PMT? I'm I do think amusement funded by unpleasantness says more about the author than the target of the aggression. I am sure your studio flat is lovely brie03. A long time ago I had a charming little bedsit in London and have very happy memories of my time there. Then I got married and had children and we had to move to larger accommodation. Then we had more children (we were never bored on a cold, winter night) and the house had to be expanded. We still need a large house when we move to Dubai, not because we are smug, poncy or flaunting our wealth but to fit our prodigy in. We have six children and they need to be accommodated two of them with their partners. We need space for friends to come and stay too and we are a bit beyond squashing into a single bed or using a blow up mattress. It's not about lowliness but about space. It may surprise you to know we probably won't have a maid - certainly not a live in one. I cannot justify working only three days and having someone clear up my mess for a pittance. Again not a judgement on those that do - I had nannies when the children were younger - but we don't really need someone now. Blue413 Control freak is not something I am usually accused of. Sometimes I just get on a bus to see where it goes (that is a lie, actually). I don't very often use buses as the nearest stop is seven miles away and the bus only goes twice a week. I am not sure it is kind to make sweeping assumptions based on a few questions. The fact younarrivedvwith three suitcases and a couple of school places is a) irrelevant and b) of dubious accuracy. How did you get visas without a job? Did you wander around on a donkey knocking at doors and being asked to taken in? Did you find somewhere that accepted your native currency? Did you not have health insurance for your children? Imsuspect if you take your blinkers off you may remember you did actually plan a little better than you suggest!
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 17:49
Close I have done the piccalilli, green tomato chutney, cranberry sauce with port, mincemeat, Sloe Gin and quince jelly ready for Christmas. The wellington boots go in the boot room - well more of an extended rear porch really. Aga is actually verging on essential - it warms kitchen, cooks food, dries clothes and shoes, warms plates, irons clothes, sterilises jam jars and makes absolutely fabulous cheese toasties. They just wouldn't work in Dubai. No Labradors yet - we are both away too often for our respective jobs to make if fair on the dogs. We will though when we are even older. All our neighbours have dogs but not all Labradors - some spaniels, some beagles, a fox terrier and border collies. Most do have black labs though. We are wondering what about our poor, long haired, ginger tom called Paddy. He lives outside here and is employed to catch mice and other creatures. He is a very bad employee though and sneaks in front of the wood burner every time the door is opened. Should we post him out?
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 17:38
I suspect we might get on couch potato! Aga is always at correct temperature - that is the whole point of them. DH hates horses and hunting. They get in the way of the 4x4 on narrow country lanes. Although cyclists are worse. Not much grouse round here - los of roadkill venison and pheasant though. Purple carrots are, well, purple. They look like carrot shaped beetroot. They taste like carrots. Best trimmed not cut but served caramelised and roasted. In the 'Olde England of Yore', say Shakespearean sort of times all native carrots were purple. Orange ones are a more recent immigrant variety that have now (a bit like grey squirrels) taken over from the natives.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 12:32
Couch potato, how wise and I do understand that the staff were desperately trying to improve their lot - or as you say most probably his families lot. I just fell slightly uncomfortable knowing they are paid so little to do such a menial task for my pleasure - except of course it isn't a pleasure because it makes me feel uncomfortable about polarisation of wealth. Carrefour? I was imagining sauntering around Waitrose looking for purple heritage carrots and bunches of watercress. Do Ocado not deliver? I am sure they do - or they have missed a trick.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 12:23
I shall Google then!
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 12:22
We think so. It is quite an exciting notion. The decision is hampered by frail,elderly mothers (among other things)but since it is so cold here at the moment Dubai looks more appealing. Just trying to tie up loose ends contractually as there seem to be much in the terms that are vague and my husband likes absolutes.
Tessa21
147
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 12:16
Can she not give them to herself? Most people on long term injections do. If she is too frail can you not do it?
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 12:15
There is only one way to eat fish and chips - out of newspaper! Unless you cook them yourself but I don't have a deep fat fryer and I needed something quick and warming. My husband put plates to warm in the Aga and I drive a bit too quickly to get them home whilst still warm - it's 11 miles. The warm plates mean the food stays warm whilst we eat but we put the paper on top.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 02:50
What is Kimchi?
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 02:47
I always vowed never to let my children have toy guns or other weapons. It failed miserably with the boys. They used rulers, sticks from the garden, Lego, anything and made loud bang bang your dead sort of noises. They enjoyed pretending to be soldiers and I suspect doing so helps them make sense of what they see in the media. They grew up to be kind and gentle young men who still like James Bond films but would never hurt anyone.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 02:38
You don't need sunglasses in Northumberland! Poncy? What an interesting and decidedly ineffective insult! Something Shakespearean like a Morg fleshed fustilion might be an improvement. Flaunting wealth? Nope, someone told me what the salary offer was I simply agreed. I wonder whether the person dismissing me for discussing the potential packages wears nice jewellery? That is flaunting wealth - it's all relative. A like of rural life and love of the sea - are they mutually exclusive? Discuss. How many addresses don't get takeaways? Lots is the easy answer. I am afraid I can't quote exact numbers but counties such as Northumberlund, Cumbria, Norfolk, Devon, Pembrokeshire and most of Wales and Scotland have communities who have to cook for themselves as there is no takeaway facility. Lots of people don't live in cities or town centres. What I saw of Dubai was very different to my experience of some cities. The ratio of national citizens to immigrants, for example. That it is a country governed by Sharia law, that it wasn't a nation until the 1970s, the speed of growth, the wealth, the visionary architecture and engineering. All very different to places like Canterbury, Shrewsbury, Exeter, Brighton, Southampton and even London. In a weekend (fly in Friday and home Sunday leaves little time for anything but a quick dip, a look at the Dubai mall and a supper party. Even I realise the luxury of the hotel isn't the everyday reality - or maybe it is? My problem comes from reconciling the glitz and glamour with the roles some people are asked to perform. We had one chap employed to sweep the foyer steps every time someone walked across the marble and another to press the button for the lifts. My husband and I got to the point where it became irritating. I won't address issues around the use of the beach as someone's very wise comments re disadvantages make us think probably not beach front. How am I meant to know they are the busiest area? The whole of Dubai looked busy. Of course we are negotiating a good housing package. We have to maintain the house here (cleaning, heating, gardening etc all cost) and have somewhere for the children to come to in Dubai -they are mainly adults but only just and we are still where their home is. What are we meant to do ? Go for a small 2 bedroom apartment and tell them to pitch a tent on the balcony? How will we entertain for work if we don't have a dining room? Why would we not have a pool? We have one here and I'm not about to move to a lower standard of accommodation. OK I did think OP referred to aged human as opposed to original poster. I am irritated by typo in title but not sure how to amend. I tend to pass long train journeys on things like this and Facebook which break up the reading. My turkey tips are genuine.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 01:59
Well who would have thought Belgium would have problems? They never upset anybody. I kind of get France caused offence over Charlie Hebdo and a strong political right wing but Belgium? I am not condoning attacks on France or anywhere else just thinking a twisted and fundamental mind could take offence at the Charlie Hebdo cartoons. That said risk of crossing the road/cycling or alcohol fuelled injury in UK is probably higher than actual risk of injury through terrorism. No, definitely.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 01:54
Sorry no idea who lolacat is although she sounds much more exotic than me just based on her name. I know nothing of Hartland School. I know some think I am a figment of my own imagination but I am actually me. Tessa is obviously not my real name though.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 25 November 2015 - 01:50
Coincidentally, Geordie we also had fish and chips tonight. I was late back from work, it is freezing here so I decided we could treat ourselves. The high life indeed!
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Latest post on 23 November 2015 - 16:27
Please don't stuff the cavity - you are likely to give your nearest and dearest food poisoning as it tends to stop heat circulating and so meat is not cooked properly. To stuff lift the skin and fill under that or serve stuffing separately. In the absence of turkey roasting bags, line a roasting tin with foil or even better a foil turkey tray (about £2.00 in UK), put a halved onion and a knob of butter in the cavity lay bacon across the top (assuming you can get streaky bacon and you eat it). then completely wrap in foil and cook in a slow oven for a good few hours - remove foil from top for last 30 - 45 mins when oven heat is up to roast potatoes. Rest 15-20 mins loosely covered by foil to retain heat.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 22 November 2015 - 23:50
Almost tempted to admit I am a 19'year old Japenese shop assistant from The Ranches - but that would be at lie. I am sure admin can verify to those that need passports and 3 forms of ID before a person can post here that I am from uk. I don't really need to be here now but it has become almost irresistible- a bit like a wobbly tooth when you were a child. There are clearly some lovely, welcoming and tolerant people but I am slightly more concerned by the numbers 'liking' and writing rather unpleasant, judgemental posts that say more about them than me. It would be lovely to meet some of you when we eventually arrive - large glasses of Sancerre rather than sherry though and I think we'll keep the wellies here. I wonder how many times recently the person who thinks I am rude and ignorant has been out socially with a group from a single country who speak another language to each other? Mmmmn I thought not! It is perfectly normal to want to mix with people who share things in common with yourself - and the Catholic Church is no different in this. This is a recognition that people's heritage, language and culture is important not a dismissal of anyone non-British. Failure to see that suggests the author wears blinkers. Some stuff I have read on here about maids makes my toes curl with embarrassment that one human would treat another as a lesser being. Yes, I do have a fairly large family with a number of girls(it's that Catholic bit again) we'd like to help all our children regardless of gender and with the average wedding now costing over 24k (GBP) anyone not thinking about how to find this amount probably hasn't got children reaching that stage in their lives. Ours are not keen on a registry office followed by a two star hotel buffet so we are thinking larger bills. We have earned all we have so no silver spoon to offset costs through inheritance. Actually, yes that is about the ball park salary - so you will understand why we are considering it. Our requirements/demands are high because we have much to give up. We are in a good position to negotiate so the company will need to pay up or we won't go. Simples. Yes we are not falling into it by luck. We work very hard and always have and weaver both very well qualified. We don't earn that amount now but do have a very good standard of living - our current salaries may sound generous on paper but after you have bought a house, helped elderly parents, paid for five years of university costs with living expenses per child, cars, school fees etc it doesn't go that far. People often think babies and toddlers are expensive but they have no idea of what is to come. If the cliches are so very far from the reality of some, why are some getting so hot under the collar? I think maybe something touched a raw nerve? I am not offended by term OP although mid fifties doesn't feel that old I get it is forum speak. luckily I don't get particularly offended by teeth gnashing rants from anonymous expats (although OP poster actually wasn't mgnashing and sounds kinder than some others. Luckily company knows my job has to be part of the deal and the move will not work unless all involved parties are happy with the arrangements. No skin off their nose for the headhunter company to sort me out too.
Tessa21
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Latest post on 22 November 2015 - 02:31
Why is Dubai more scary than poverty ridden Africa or South America? Good question. Age, they were a good while ago,and I was with a global aid agency that gave good training and preparation, I,wasn't alone I was with a group of like minded young people who I had much in common with. I have been to Dubai twice now and some aspects were lovely but I guess as we were being courted we were shown the most hedonistic, tourist attracting side. I think on brief trips it is very difficult to understand everyday life. My husbands probable employers were astounded that I feel a need to work. It seemed as though a non-working wife was a bit of a status symbol and that worried me. They seem to understand now. I think the desire for a church that has some UK expats comes from experiences that people from different cultures (quite understandably) seek others of the same culture because it gives them roots and a greater sense of belonging. I have no problem mixing with anybody based on religion or nationality but suspect most (not all) phillipino people, for example,will want to spend time speaking Tagalog with other phillipino people. Of course I have done other research - many have said ignore what is said on forums- but I think the wider the view the better (I can heed sensible advice or dismiss cynicism as I see fit) There is a reason stereotypes exist from an anthropological perspective.............. Just saying. I can see the excitement and am as susceptible as the next person to a day lounging beside a pool with a waiter bringing cocktails and cleaning my sunglasses - but notball the time. Amazed my thoughts are so controversial!
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Latest post on 21 November 2015 - 16:06
Thanks Blondie 007, you must be very adventurous with 007 in your name! I must sound very staid and boring but yes, we do have a nice life here, we are very lucky. That said contracts are with lawyers so your advice is probably a bit late. I have never done the expat lifestyle but have travelled a bit when younger, setting up remote and mobile health centres in the Andes, working in Ethiopa during the famine and some time spent in Rwanda. My travelling has mainly been outside the luxuries places like Dubai offer. I can't remember the last time I ordered pizza - no takeaways deliver to where I live so I am used to making my own, if necessary. Some forum members have really helped in the decision making process and advice about locations to live has been heeded - we do want a sense of community and don't aspire to d list celebrity neighbours. Now need to research whether better to buy household things here and transport or wait and buy there( Garden and pool furniture, bedding, towels,crockery etc). Still, got a good while to research that. We want to keep the house here 'open' for the children and other family to use and for us when we are back in UK.
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Latest post on 21 November 2015 - 00:21
Oh for goodness sake! Some people defy belief. I wasn't thinking I had to post my entire CV or provide links to published research and clinical papers! I have a PGCE acquired when my children were young and I was lecturing part -time. I wanted to teach well rather than assume subject knowledge was the only pre requisite to high quality teaching. It was worth the effort. Near final negotiations took place today and apart from a few technicalities we think we will accept. Do I need to post a picture of us moving in to be taken seriously? Will our neighbours insist on seeing our passports before accepting we aren't lying about our names, I wonder? What is it that makes some forum users so suspicious? I prefer to accept people at face value and trust unless that trust is breached in some way. My belief that most people are basically good has rarely proved I'll founded - I hope I can enjoy Dubai without becoming too cynical. Company has agreed to fly us out for a few days about a month before we move to start sorting logistics of housing, buying furniture and other essentials. That bit sounds quite exciting although I suspect since we are probably only looking at a couple of years that IKEA will suffice for most things. Is there somewhere like Argos/ Currys that does all the electrical stuff - fridges, freezer, small kitchen appliances, TV, music systems etc? Does Amazon deliver to UAE?
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Latest post on 20 November 2015 - 11:53
Thank you Clara 21 and AdventurerB The beach stuff is really interesting and I hadn't thought through those downsides. I thought I had it worked out with Jumeirah 3 but on the beach! OK the price may not seem affordable for some but I suspect you are younger and not approaching career end, like us. We have worked long and hard to buy our house in UK and have said we won't move to a lower standard of living - if they want us they will have to pay because sadly, money is the main reason we are considering it. We want to pay for the children's weddings/ help with house deposits and make sure they are set up as they start adult life. We don't want them drowning in university debt. Why teach ? Truth is I love teaching and nurturing students - best thing about having children! I like seeing the young grow and develop with enquiringly minds and new challenges. (My PGCE is in adult education). I have some teaching responsibilities here but that is not my main focus. I am happy to take a different tack now and support my husband in his role. I don't doubt I could get a CEO job too but that wouldn't leave much 'us' time and we still quite like each other! I have a silver wedding party to sort next year. I haven't accepted the professorship yet but it does appeal - the alternative is work in my husbands company but that has the feel of a created job rather than something more purposeful. It would mean I had the flexibility to travel with him though. Why Saudi? Curiosity mainly. To get a feel for a completely different culture, to understand the world a little better. The company has a Saudi Office so my husband would need to go sometimes. Maybe we'll just have to be green welly wearing oddballs!
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Latest post on 20 November 2015 - 04:31
Thank you to the people who,have answered questions, I appreciate it. I am not sure about the cynicism though or the intrigue for asking a few questions. Is life really that boring? I am real, it is not admin. We are looking to maybe move September 2016 - although I might stay until youngest is settled at university. You may have worked in universities a long time but you clearly don't know everything! Maybe we'll end up working together? The headhunter company are helping me as part of the deal to get my husband and yes, apparently associate professor jobs (part time) do exist! My CV meets the job spec I have been given. Not sure it is only Thursday or Friday I have posted but if it is, it is because I work full time and am often away for several days at a time. Why am I justifying myself? Maybe I can see some nice people who,want to be helpful and answer questions. I am not in the business of creating controversy just wanting to get a feel for a potential new way of living. I accept much is the same - there is a Waitrose that sells marmite - but I also know that the country comes close to lowest decile for gender equality (not something I am used to and not sure how I will cope with that). I had no idea what normal salaries look like, what housing costs are and what most people's deals are like. It is not intended as one upmanship amd sarcasm is unecessary and does the author no favours.
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Latest post on 18 November 2015 - 21:23
Gosh it can be so difficult and money is a really hard area to sort. I don't know about anyone else but my husband promised to endow me with all his worldly goods. It is our money not his or mine. We both work but he has a higher income than me so he pays out for more than me. We have an understanding of household budgets and who pays for what just out of custom. If I want/need something I use his debit card online just has he'll take cash from my purse if he needs some for say a taxi. Pocket money is something children have, surely?
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Latest post on 18 November 2015 - 21:17
There are many potential causes but 7 years is a long time. I assume you have goon down the route of full blood work up, CXR and possible HRCT scan? I am sure you have done a peak flow diary too?? have you had pulmonary function tests? They should rule out a range of infections including TB and more complex conditions such as interstitial lung diseases. I would guard against just haphazardly trying varying diets and homeopathy (proven not to have a therapeutic effect beyond placebo). No use best guessing from forum answers, if it is an issue it needs proper medical review by an expert in respiratory medicine.
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Latest post on 12 November 2015 - 19:33
Not miniscule tampons for rodent use but something young son want you to make at optimally embarrassing moment - digs in hand bag, thinks he's found some sort of sweet, unwraps, looks vaguely disappointed but then cheers up enormously when you pull two tiny ears and use a pen to dot on two eyes and whiskers. Son happily rolls said tampon mouse along church pew/ head teachers desk /mother in laws banister squeaking happily. It would have been just embarrassing if he ate it and we had to explain to doctor what he was actually choking on.
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Latest post on 12 November 2015 - 18:49
Hello all, Is there a better frond to live on? If we do Palm Jumeirah is the trunk bit better - near Fairmont is a nice villa but you just can't tell from websites about area. Is it worth paying more for Jumeira 3 fronting the public beach? What about the crescent - is it too long in terms of commuting Downtown? If you live a couple of rows back, is it not generally a bit hot to bother walking to beach? Thanks
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Latest post on 12 November 2015 - 18:45
Don't your kids see you in the bath or changing for swimming? Have they never noticed that mummy and daddy are a bit different? I always followed child's lead and answered questions fully and openly. Have they never played little mice with tampons or anything? I never really had to tell mine in a formal session as subject often cropped up when they were younger.
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Latest post on 11 November 2015 - 00:31
Thank you all, you have pushed me towards action and I am feeling a bit more engaged with the idea. I think maybe a beachfront (or very close) at Jumeirah - although accept we may have to top up allowance with my salary. The headhunter for my husband is circulating my CV with the expectation that a job for me is high on the list of deal makers. Even if it is part time lecturing at the university, I would feel more confident we could settle. Then maybe some voluntary work with MSF or similar, a book group, gym/beach club membership and maybe we can start/join an 'oldies' dinner party circle. A bit of light gardening and maybe find a second hand piano to tinkle away some time. I'm beginning to think about furniture and weekends away from Dubai to places we would not otherwise visit plus of course, friends and family popping out from UK and even whether to put in a hot tub for our ageing joints. It probably does sound a bit comical to some but it's my sort of life and I can't abide having my nails done, facials, buying unecessary things and sunbathing. I am too old for most of the clothes in most of the shops so mall surfing won't be my thing. Maybe investigate sailing with my husband - we used too until too many children made it too much like hard work.
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Latest post on 11 November 2015 - 00:09
You sound like my type of person! Unfortunately not actually in Dubai yet but when/if we are (likely September 2016) I sew badly, play mahjong a bit better and would happily make cards over a mug of tea/glass wine. I am looking at a villa on Jumeira beach, I think after reading advice on here.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 November 2015 - 23:48
Some really useful thoughts, so thank you very much. I can't see why some think this is fictitious - is everyone so cynical and mistrusting? Why would I post questions I didn't want answers too? Odd thought process. I am not anxious or nervous particularly - I am usually described as 'strong' 'feisty' and confident - I simply want to research and plan as far as is possible. I have some concerns about moving, of course mainly about what we are leaving but also around attitudes to women and equality. I'm not good at playing second fiddle and even though my husband earns more I believe my job is equally important. Most sell the place as amazing but even when we popped out for a weekend, I could see some negatives but I can handle that if I prepare properly. Not sure I am a Harvey Nic's person but delighted to see M & S and Waitrose for if/when. I was a bit surprised at the scale of the Malls - it felt like it would take a week just to get basic provision. So more odd questions (that are real) Who uses the metro;is it just tourists? Is there anything like the WI? I noticed a Lakeland so someone makes jam or chutney - how do they grow fruit and veg, I wonder? Is the sea ok for swimming - clean, no dangerous sea things, currents etc. Can you swim anywhere - we like swimming in sea rather than a pool. Do you do same as uk and get changed on beach- doesn't that offend local custom or bye laws? Are there any supper party groups or safari supper type initiatives? I've seen a few book clubs and coffee meet ups - but they all seem to be daytime. What do people do of an evening? Are there any non smoking restaurants? I saw a villa I quite liked which made it look possible but then saw a couple of duplex penthouse in I think it was called tiara and fairmont- but that might have been a hotel, I can't remember. There were some amazing villas but well outside our price bracket. I can see some advantages of an apartment but do people see anyone else living in a flat? Do people use the communal pools and beach etc? Then maids - does everyone have a live in person? Isn't that a bit intrusive having someone sitting watching TV with you? We have cleaners and a gardener here and had a nanny when the kids were small but never live in. Final one - if husband has work events/dinners/travel to other Emirates and Saudi is there usually an expectation that spouses go too? And is tipping the norm and how much does this add to weekly bill?
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 November 2015 - 23:03
Not in Dubai yet, but I like bridge. Would happily join you if/when we move.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 November 2015 - 21:54
Yes, I think I may have expressed myself badly - I have no issue with multicultural living. Hubble is being headhunter for a CEO job of a large multinational company with bases across UAE and Pacific region. We can see package looks appealing on paper but can't picture how this looks in real life. I work full time now so a big step to give up my career and move across world. It would be daft not to be slightly anxious, surely. We need to factor in loss of pension additions, my loss of earnings (around 50k GBP) cost of maintaining house back here etc. We live in a tiny village where our 100 or so neighbours are also our friends and social life - we like walking in the hills, country pubs and bad TV. Can we get UK TV - I imagine so. I said there were lots of questions - husband is speaking with chairman again next week so we need to be clear about the package we would move for. Apologies for hogging the forum.
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 November 2015 - 14:34
No wind up, honestly. We are totally unfamiliar with UEA money and what it means in real terms. We live OK in UK and have a lovely lifestyle in rural area but defo not flashy. We just want to get a feel for how good a package it is and whether worth leaving the cat for a sunnier climate. How much would a car cost to buy and run? Hubby may have a driver for work but we are not sure transport allowance will run to a personal one?
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 November 2015 - 13:33
Sorry another thing - money We want a nice time out there obviously but our main motivator is to save some money for (hopefully one day) the children's weddings and maybe help them onto the property ladder. Is it easy to get money back without losing the lot in tax? Is the cost of living likely to make this impossible? Salary n offer sounds very nice but we have been around long enough to know that all that glistens is not necessarily gold! Do People tend to stay put or make frequent trips home? The employer is offering six business class flights annually. This doesn't seem many so is it realistic to think we'll come back more (ageing mothers with failing health, daughter at uni in the UK )
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 November 2015 - 13:19
Thank you ladies, you all make it sound so appealing and perfect -what is the downside? I think the employer sorts all the visa stuff and I don't think we'd use someone off the internet for anything financial or legal. Sorry, I was not suggesting I would not go to a church with Indians or Phillipino people but rather I would prefer a more mixed environment, if there were that option. At our current church the different communities tend (understandably, since they speak the same language and have a shared culture) to keep to themselves and I am thinking a church with a higher proportion of western expats might feel less lonely. So I have seen a few nice looking villas on Palm Jumeirah and a couple that stretch budget but are possible at Umm Sequimm. The Palm ones are front on to beach (seem to have steps directly down and private beach but the Umm Sequimm ones are sort of side ways on. Are these nice areas? What is difference in travel times to the main malls and Sheik whatsit road?
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 November 2015 - 02:54
That is all really helpful, thank you. So a few more. Does the cost of living make the salary hike less significant? Can money be transferred back and forth to the UK quite easily? What about residency visa medical - would something like breast cancer stop me getting one? How much would a beachfront villa cost? We swim in sea April to November so it is probably biggest draw for us. How easy is it to get an alcohol permit? We are likely to need to do an amount of entertaining for my husbands work. Are there theatres in English? Is it easy to learn Arabic? I know everyone speaks English but it seems like a good opportunity. If I come out as a wife, can I change to employment? How much of a culture shock is it? How do we have gay friends or daughter and boyfriend out without risking offence? Is there a Catholic Church and is it used by expats other than Indian/phillipino? Are there things like book clubs/sewing groups/am dram or voluntary work opportunities?
Tessa21
147
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 November 2015 - 20:00
Hello all, I am new to all this but basically we are considering whether to move to Dubai. My husband has an excellent job on offer but it feels like we have a lot to give up - so those questions..... Are we too old? We are early 50s but only thinking maybe three years. When we came out for a weekend the city seemed full of beautiful, glamorousyoung things and young families. We are not glamorous, not beautiful and not young. Would we have peers? Are some people less image conscious? Would we be out of place and would there be things for us to do? Given that, where should we live? We want beachfront, villa probably (5 bedrooms so our children and friends can stay) and within easy travelling of Sheik whatsit road. Budget around 450,000 to 500,000 I think. What do we do about furniture? We don't want to empty our house here. Can you have live out housekeepers? Is a driver and car better than self driving? I like driving but husband doesn't but driving looked terrifying when we popped out. If we can't have a beachfront villa, can we join a nearby hotel beach club? How much is this? Too many other thoughts for one post so I'll await responses. Meant thanks T.
 
 
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