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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 17:40

NZ Sue.

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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 17:04

SM...I think this way because of our family history AND because I am for the most part an outsider looking in. I can't reiterate enough that he has done a full circle, regress? Brain transpant is my word of choice at the moment. He is not my dad, his judgement (OMG...the story, I am heart broken and frightened) and his behaviour. His close neighbours are still waiting for him to have a reality check and be reasonable, they don't see the flags despite their friendship of 25 years plus, and am guessing they don't want to. So they have withdrawn because he is being so 'un reasonable' and the police have been involved to no avail. They choose to build fences, because it is easier. I'm going to go home and sort this, both dad and I watched his dad die, and I understand his fears but I can't do this. It's only a matter of time before he really is a unsafe, either for himself or the others he helps. Granddad was in a secure lock up, and he forgot to chew, and watching him die was a pivotal moment for me. And obviously dad...as the MAIN thing he hangs on to, is I will not die in a home. :(

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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 08:37

***WARNING!!!*** As of today Facebook will automatically start dragging the earth into the sun. To change this option go in to settings^planetary settings^trajectory then UNCLICK the option that reads apocolypse. NB, you will be charged for this transaction. :D

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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 08:05

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2184008194413&set=a.1474818385111.2065912.1073228408&type=1&ref=nf hmmmmmmm

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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 08:01

I dont know if the Haka gives us an advantage, but I never am more proud and home sick when I watch them do it. On another subject - Sonny Bill Willams..... goodness hes gorgeous! same :) Did you see the link I put up a couple of weeks ago? That bod...now THERE is an advantage :D

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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 07:37

Arriving at 4am works well for the roads...you get out of the airport and on your way before the bedlam. Can't help with air taxi's, or accomadadtion as that is not somewhere we have been to, but if you sort your accomadtion they will have a transfer service from the airport.

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Latest post on 28 September 2011 - 07:24

LT- thats the bit I'm struggling with. His neighbours for the most part have been friends with him for 25 years plus, and while his behaviour is completely bizzare and so totally out of character, they don't see it and won't entertain it that there is anything wrong with him. I'm asking and asking all the questions and it's like they are in a buffered zone..they would rather withdraw from him than actually think that something needs to be done, and that he needs help. Mind you, Dad is not making it easy for them. I'm begining to feel like I am the only one who can see that this is the begining of a problem, and I'm on the other side of the world! And it's not just his behaviours, it's his judgement that frightens me. SueB/shaks- how did you guys cope dealing with this from afar? Obviously, I'm going no where at the moment except in circles, so I need to go home and sort some things out, but in the long run... how am I going to manage? He is much loved by his entourage, so that is a relief, and when I can get it acknowledged, if it is indeed what I think it is, then there will be help systems in place for him. He can't travel out to me here at all. And I do like your idea for getting him in for assessment Sue, thanks.

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Latest post on 27 September 2011 - 17:18

Just wanted to log in quickly and say a very big thank you to all for the info, links, reading material, and especially for sharing your stories with me. It means a great deal, and now at least I have somewhere to start with all of this. So, Thank you, x

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Latest post on 27 September 2011 - 11:06

Thanks everyone. feel so useless over here. Currently Dad is still reasonably sharp (he's 76)...the whole forgetful thing is common, and he has startegies in place for dealing with it. He is still a very active member of his wider community (driving for the cancer soc, pres. supprt, church, meals on wheels) and absolutely does not entertain the idea that he may well have the onset of alzhiemers/dementia. He refuses to be assessed at all, and sees absolutely nothing wrong with his behaviours of the last few months.It also seems that while this wider of group of people are very close to him, they are unaware of his ongoing behaviours that have really become quite a problem/issue in his smaller neighbourhood. Its like in this one area of his life that he has had a complete brain transplant, a total 360 on all his values/mores and belief systems. His father died at not much older with alzhiemers, so hense the concern. As for the power of attourney and getting it before he dies/or does something really crazy...it would mean I would have to notify the 3 people who he has chosen to act on my behalf should he die, (I'm his executor and what not, and he has rather sagely decided that it is unlikely we will evr go home) and these 3 people are key in the organizations he works for and seemingly unaware of his state. the ramifications on his life will be huge should I get hold of them with my concerns, and without these key grasps he has on community and it's wellbeing, I really fear he will go downhill with out it. On the other hand, I fear what COULD happen if I don't do something. Thanks so much girls, for the support and the leads. Appreciate it.

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Latest post on 27 September 2011 - 10:38

If you do get him, just take him to yours...I have no clue who FF work with now...Nad al Sheba? We'll all between us cover the cost. It might be the kindest thing you can do is put him down hon. Specially if we can't find a room for him. Blimin glut on homeless animals as per.

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Latest post on 27 September 2011 - 10:25

Aren't there places that will help with the costs? Don't know for sure, but some of the vets will discount for found animals. Happy to help with the costs if you do manage to box him up. What you could do, so as not to offend your resident princess, is keep him in a spare room or bathroom til something can be done for him? Feed him up, get him all well and healthy again and then rehome?

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Latest post on 27 September 2011 - 07:09

Where Men Win Glory by Jon Krakauer which is about Pat Tillman, an American who gave up a high paying career as an American football player to join the army after 9-11 and was killed by friendly fire, the death being used for propaganda by the Bush administration who initially covered up it was friendly fire. It's disappointing so far as Krakauer is a good writer but I'm assured it gets more interesting once Tillman joins up (I've not reached that part yet). Also Freakonomics which is really interesting and funny. Also Authentic Happiness, a self-development bok by Martin Seligman which I've been dipping into for a while. In fact I just this afternoon have been putting into practice something I learned in the book which is good because otherwise I'd be pretty p'd off at the moment! Normally Krakauers books annoy the living daylights out of me, but i recently read Where Men win Glory...what a dreadful thing to happen, the whole thing is a shambles from woe to go. The book itself fizzles at the end, (my opinion) but after what happens, you have to feel....well just where could it go from there? I picked up a Wilbur Smith hard cover at C4 last week (and no, I don't know why I did :))...read about 3 pages and am *gasp* shocked and horrified with all the graphic s3x, so havent revisited it. Surprised it was available in the supermarket! Currently can't decide just what I want to read, so am going to have a look at some of the books mentioned here.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 23:37

Did I say raising up my kids and having a family is not an achievement? Did I???? I said 'only achievement'!!! What Ur problem with devaluing and belittling....seriously? Would I be devaluing and belittling myself u think?? What is wrong with wanting more acheivements, huh?? look, if you havnt got my point yet, it is unlikely that you will do with any of my countless repetitions. Hows this for a deal? You feel hard done by, and I save my breath?

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 23:35

her 10 dirri is in the mail :D

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 23:26

I am wondering if the point arohadxb was somehow missed, a bit? I do understand what she is saying and she sums it up in her last para below. I 'think' she is saying that it is sad that the op looked back on being a sahm and asked if that was all there is and all she has achieved, as if it was not much? I dont think aroha is saying sahms should be fulfilled and happy about staying home but should take that chunk of life and embrace it while it lasts, then move on to other things. I wonder if looking back on your life and thinking you have not achieved anything or 'is that it' in relation to being the major carer of your children could just mean it is time for you to reevaluate your past in order to move forward. Surely there have been other wonderful achievements in life that can also count? Anyway, there will always be 3 camps in relation to sahms :)...those that do, those that dont and those that want what the others have. thank you sue...was starting to believe I actually spoke some other un recognisable language.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 23:20

Oh; I love it...I am now the champion of pure organic motherhood. You couldnt be further from the truth if you sank it in the atlantic. I am, however, the champion of women being the best they can be. Have a gripe, by all means, bemoan it, call the kids brats and threaten to boil them in oil...whatever! But never belittle what you have done as a person and a mother by saying...is this it? The answer, is: YES THAT IS IT! Can you not see how that belittles us all and all our achievements? And if you really feel that way, then you do, in my opinion need to look at your life and what you want to do. No one has ever said, that I am aware of, that being a good mum was mutually exclusive to being a good person in your own right.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 23:08

Argh, I hate it when other people, specially women, want you to be oh-so-happy about being a mother and never ever have a bad moment. And if you do, you are just pure evil, arent you? :/ One can't ALWAYS be happy, about anything, be it work, motherhood, relationships, or whatever! We have both good times and bad. And as snugs said, we should be nice to each other, and offer support and kindness, be it on 'the world wide webby' or to some one close to you. And if you dont have any kind words to offer, better keep them to yourself then :/ and heres the thing, if the OP was a friend of mine or known to me, I would say the same thing. One life. What does it say about a person when you look back on that one life and say 'is that it?' I find that incredibly sad... if thats so hard to understand, well then, i apologise. There are things like responsibility and commitment. What would you say about mothers who abandon their families, just so they won't 'regret' anything later on? You would applaud them, surely? And JUST where did you get that inference from? out your behind? Exactly where did I suggest that mother s that leave their children should be applauded? hmm?

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 22:52

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 22:47

Aroha, obviously a passionate reply! But.... I have read your reply a couple of times and don't really get what you are saying! That we should be fulfilled by being a SAHM or that we should be I dividuals that raise our kids whilst making our mark in life. Personally speaking, having two young boys and working semi full Tim e (complicated to explain ) I think it is a great role model for my two kids to see me go off to play Netball, go to work, as long as I am there for them for the majority of time... At the end of the day kids will become teenagers, and young adults and what are we left with? There is a huge world out there with plenty of opportunities, I think women of our generations (30-45) have so much pressure to be everything that we CAN be to the extent that we can't always do one thing to the best of our abilities. There used to be a commercial on tv for a perfume which sums it all for me, they had this sexy woman in a business suit saying "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, ever forget you're a man, coz I'm a woman, anjonou" cue seduction scene...FYI for perfume advertisement We can all only do our best! And be nice to each other at the same time! And you have it down pat snugs...be the best you can be. Any one who looks back and says "is that it? ' to my mind did not take the oportunities offered them. Thats all...don't blame the sahm thing, the working mum thing...just be the best person you can. You have ONE life, live it...to look back with any regret (is that it?) just doent do it for me.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 22:36

For goodness' sake, Arohadxb, say what you think, stop pussyfooting about. Just tell it like it is. What? call a spade a shovel, like?

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 22:30

@arohadxb: r u kidding me? You never had a moment like this in your life? Ever?? Wow..you must be mother Teresa and your kids r saints!! I moved 7 times in 10 times cause my husband wanted to develop his career I went through emotional and psychological roller coasters with my kids, changing schools, friends, lives I adapted 7 times for the sake of my family!! This is what my a** has been doing lately, alright?? Don't tell me I devalue any kind of women cause I am one!! Can't a woman think out loud in this world????? No, I can safely say I have never had a moment when I have said 'is this it?' I look at my family as a work in progress and what we do, we do together. I grow, he grows, she grows. I don't care how many times we move, or you have moved...what is that in the grand scheme of things? I develope as a person, as does all the members of my family and we make choices together about what is best for us. I may sacrifice, he may, we both might for the betterment of the whole, and equally we may all be better for the choices we have made. And that is an outcome I would wish for all. But if my husband ever turned around to me and said "is that it?' you can sure as dammit believe that he would wear worse...than you feel you have worn from me. This is your life, your choice, YOU do what you need to to make it a good one. and if you thought 'voicing a thought on the world wide webby was going to garner you only sympathy....think again, it is an open forum after all.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 21:52

Is that it? Is THAT it? Is that IT? IS that it? You are joking right? If you feel that you have not developed in your life as you have guided/raised/cared for/loved you children into their newly found semi independance then that is your problem. What? You thought your life shut down when you had the kids? Your problem. They and the raising of them was supposed to be the all fulfilling dream? Reality check= they grow up and leave. You devalue everything that every stay at home mum relishes You devalue all the women who choose to work and you devalue all the women who have to work, and don't have the choice. If you didnt get off your ar$e and make a life worth living for yourself and your kids during the time you had them at home...one you could be happy with and proud of, rather than look back and say, is that it? Well, you know who you can look to for an explanation.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 21:11

oh, and be aware..those weirdo's on that side of ditch like their beer WARM. Awfully odd :D

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 19:34

I was just about to ask if the Pizza Express here was as good as the ones in England :) I don't know if "American Hot" is a traditional Italian pizza, but it's my favourite :) It might not be traditional italian, but the pizzas there are my favourites, and you get a little arabian twist with a few of the toppings. ******, now feel like pizza and have no earthly excuse for not cooking :( eta! that wasn't THAT bad a word, surely?! <em>edited by arohadxb on 26/09/2011</em>

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 13:02

Happy 29th Princess...was the driver cute? :D

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 12:47

I put ours up (new convert to the trick or treat thing but terribly pagan so it suits me just beauitfully) when the mood takes, but at least a couple of weeks before the 'big day'. Also have a little party/afternoon tea/games here for the kids before we head off trick or treating. Your lot are more than welcome to join us BMAP. *can't decide who am going to be this year, a pirate again? or is that just too boring being the same thing 2 years running?*

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 12:44

same same. grrr.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 10:17

We have, but we're back packers extroidinaire so can't help with the high end stuff, sorry ;) It's a fabulous place, the house boats on the backwaters are wonderful, you'll all have a great time. I would say if there are other threads detailing the high end places to stay etc, that anywhere you choose to stay will be just fine with the kids.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 07:24

You could walk it I spos, just depends if you have a death wish or not. SM is right, it's about a 15dh taxi ride.

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Latest post on 26 September 2011 - 07:21

It seems that you can't plan a couple of months in advance here unless youre very lucky and find the place you like with current tenants moving out on or around the date you plan on moving in. And even if you do find just such a scenario, some other agent has likely rented the place out to someone else, LL will change their mind, current tenants will decide to stay on after all. Our moves tend to be made with a weeks notice. We know we plan to move on a certain date, it's just a matter of finding a place within the right price range, location, and it has to be sitting empty. We probably start looking around 4 to 3 weeks before the move date. Something always comes up...is it ideal? Probably not, but what is here? So with a few days to go, we sign it, seal it and then move. Did we get stressed about it? Not really...worked our little patoots off to get the move done though. It's not so much panic you feel with the time pressure, for us it's just pure frustration with the process, and then just saying, oh blow it...this will do. We don't own it, it'll never be perfect, it just has to tick as many boxes for us as possible.

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 11:57

nah P, you havent even got to mid life crisis go spend a fortune on snake oil serum for youthful skin stage yet! (or you can do what I do, and pretend it's your 29th again...works a treat :D)

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 11:55

As has been said, having one only means there's not much room for Mum to have a bit of a break, while a group of kids do whatever it is kids do. An only is on the one hand socially 'immature' (sharing, taking turns etc don't come naturally and a lot of effort has to be put in so an only child learns that) and on the other hand and in some ways rather spookily adult in a lot of their observations and thought patterns. Comes from spending more time than most one on one with adults. They're are different kettle of fish entirely, onlys are.

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 11:50

awww...is it your birthday P?

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 07:57

google+ I think it's called. And yep, FB can try and good luck to them. I just can't see that there would be any truth to it myself

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 07:27

So now everyones FB is being changed to what I have been moaning about for the last few weeks. Getting lots of post from people asking me to hover over their user name etc etc...am sure we're all getting many of the same. ;) And now, just for fun, have started getting posts from people shouting about how "it's official, it's on the news, if you don't click on something or other and turn your profile blue FB will start charging you, and delete your account if you don't pay" true/false/rumour/?

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 07:19

any news kellsbells?

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Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 07:12

You have to watch most things in the supermarkets, not just the 'special' bundles. Scott kitchen towels are something like 8dh for the single pack and 20 for the double pack, as just one random example of what I noticed last week.

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Latest post on 24 September 2011 - 06:59

and this confusion/inconsistency surprises you kris? :) Hope you can get it all sorted asap. x

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Latest post on 24 September 2011 - 06:54

lil miss has lost 8 teeth and I think we may have about 4 of them still...I didnt intentionally get rid of the others, but I still don't really have a plan for what is going to happen with the remainder. I just can't bear to throw them out for some reason. We tell her the toothfairy takes the teeth to become stars in the sky, and have a had a couple of close calls when she has been rummaging in my jewellery box...this 'toothfairy' would have a lot of explaining to do if they were found! Going rate in our place is 10dh, and we give a note and coins..makes it seem like a huge gift :) Saying that, she has lost teeth in other countries, and then she just gets what we can scounge up.

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Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 07:54

he would be a numpty, a 'nigel no mates', a nerd, type of thing

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Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 09:43

Glam? GLAM? Come round to my place any time before midday or any time after 3pm and you'll find me in my PJs, hair tied back, usually covered in whatever we had for breakfast or lunch :D. I know exactly what you mean, though - this place makes you feel underdressed if you don't look like you're going to the opera when you're standing at the meat counter in the supermarket. I got here a while ago when I was much younger and I hated it for three months. I was fully intending to leave at the six-month point when I didn't owe the company any money for bringing me over here. And... that was a long time ago. There are plenty of people who'll say hi then go back to their conversations like you don't exist. They suck. But as aroha says, in the end you'll be able to laugh at them (and do take her up on the offer - I can guarantee she is as normal as they come!). Just remember the glam ones are probably the ones who'd be in their full make-up and gladrags to do the school run at home so nobody knows what they're really like. That's the beauty of this place for these types - nobody knows where you came from! Not sure about the 'normal' bit DC :D but thank you, lol! the email is there, if anyone needs a bit of help meeting new friends just let me know.

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Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 08:10

coco pops, no matter if you have been here 5 minutes or 5 years, you will still have the pleasure of meeting those types of people. The difference will be that when you ARE settled, happy in your own skin you will be able to just raise your eyebrows at it all and have a quiet giggle to yourself. Be reassured that there are loads of 'real' people around and you will meet them, and you will make good friends. When that happens you will feel 'settled'. This is a tough place for the first few months while you find your feet, and it makes all the difference in the world when you find that girlfriend to share all the fun and games with, drink copious amounts of coffee (wine) with, commiserate with, laugh with and chat with. It will happen too, stay positive, stay true to yourself and meet each day as an adventure. my email addy is: ari underscore jo 2002 at yahoo dot co dot nz drop me a line if you would like me to point you in the direction of some very cool down to earth types :)

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Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 07:23

I'm guessing that after your residence is cancelled you have the normal 30 days to leave? After that I would also guess that the easiest way would be to leave and then come back in again with your visit stamp.

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Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 07:20

Lil miss changes for PE. This morning she did wear her kit to school as PE is her first lesson, and she'll change after into her uniform...this was at her instigation. As soon as the children hit year1 at our school they change for PE, foundation does not. And, yes. We have structured art classes.

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Latest post on 21 September 2011 - 18:55

Nobody really knows *how* this forum works. It's a little bit of an enigma...... *snort*

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Latest post on 21 September 2011 - 18:53

They are in a SAFE place. When you locate that safe place let me know, as I would like all my left sox, tupperware lids, that bl00dy ring my mother gave me and lil miss's school records back. Thanks.

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Latest post on 21 September 2011 - 16:03

on biro, yeah. don't know about markers, I have a household ban on those :)

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Latest post on 21 September 2011 - 15:59

Nope, get the one that is safe for colours, actually...I think both the pink and white containers would be ok. Have you tried hairspray on the penmarks before washing?

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Latest post on 21 September 2011 - 15:55

napisan? we have these cream coloured skorts (a fine choice for young active kidlets) and a good soak over night in napisan works. Will check geant next week.

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Latest post on 21 September 2011 - 15:52

Its just a teeny rats tail, barely there...the child could tuck it under his collar and none would be the wiser (and YES, I do think it looks dreadful, but. each to their own I spos. If one wants to think one lives in an era where the mullet or a rats tail was the height of, um, fashion, then one has a right to) Some ones after their 15 seconds in the local paper, because otherwise the short back and sides on the lad is just fine for a boy his age. At least it's not a Beiber 'flip'. I would even hazard a guess that the reason the school is making a big deal about this, is a parental complaint of some kind, and oh look, turns out this family isn't 'quite' the family we'd desire in the school community so off with that wee scrag end of hair if you please.

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