derien | ExpatWoman.com
 

derien

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Latest post on 27 June 2016 - 15:27
We are glad to see the back of you! LOL! You won't be saying that for long! The UK is one of the biggest contributors to the EU budget ( I think around 8 Billion pounds in net contribution annually). The other EU countries won't be too happy when they are saddled with larger contributions. The UK is a financial powerhouse! In or out, they will be fine. It's the other smaller European economies which will suffer the most. I don't know, I am married to a Brit and from an EU country, children have dual passports, so don't mind if you are right ? Ahh you are in a good position :-)
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Latest post on 27 June 2016 - 15:24
Weighted voting may become a concept of the future, "Weighted Voting"... do you mean that one person's vote will count for more than another person's?? Very animal farm. "We're all equal, but some are more equal than others". I voted to leave. I'm neither racist, nor old, nor stupid. It wasn't a mistake and I would vote the same way tomorrow. I don't believe for a second that this route will be easy - but it will be worth it. I am simply astonished at the call for another referendum simply because the losing side doesn't like the results. I am also disgusted by suggestions that the votes of "old people" are somehow worth less than "young people". Very democratic. I know many sane, educated, open-minded and relatively young Brits who voted to leave the EU. Being in the EU is not the be all and end all ! Some people in the remain camp are acting as if the world has come to an end! I am Swiss and we have never been part of the EU. We have bilateral trade and free movement agreements with the EU and it has always worked well.
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Latest post on 27 June 2016 - 15:10
We are glad to see the back of you! LOL! You won't be saying that for long! The UK is one of the biggest contributors to the EU budget ( I think around 8 Billion pounds in net contribution annually). The other EU countries won't be too happy when they are saddled with larger contributions. The UK is a financial powerhouse! In or out, they will be fine. It's the other smaller European economies which will suffer the most.
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Latest post on 14 June 2016 - 14:23
I know you must be feeling really excited about your move to Abu Dhabi and have loads of questions swirling around in your head. As sheikhandbake mentioned, it is Ramadan at the moment so the board tends to slow down and people are gearing up to leave for the summer. The other thing is that most posters live in DUBAI so wouldn't be able to answer your questions about Abu Dhabi. I know I can't help you. I do however hope you find the answers soon. Good luck with the move
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Latest post on 06 October 2015 - 15:10
Both my kids have had 2 x MMR. I am not prepared to give them a third shot. I have marked NO on the form and provided medical records of the vaccinations. Why would they require a 3rd dose?
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Latest post on 23 April 2015 - 12:17
Thank you for your suggestions Norak. I hadn't thought of that.
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Latest post on 23 April 2015 - 12:15
Trust your son's instincts! Don't you think it's strange he liked her at first but now this has changed. Something may have happened and how well do you know your maid really? As for asking your son to kiss the maid! I can't believe anyone would think this was appropriate. Do YOU want to kiss her every morning and night? I think not - so why would you even want your child to. I agree with previous posts regarding it sending your child the wrong signals and setting a bad example in how you should act with strangers. Also, I don't think you can ever be paranoid when it comes to your children's safety - I would observe carefully before leaving him alone again. I agree.
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Latest post on 22 March 2015 - 11:46
Yes please can you contact me on [email protected] Thanks
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Latest post on 19 March 2015 - 11:58
They definitely are the weaker gender. No women are the weaker gender for letting this kind of nonsense happen.
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Latest post on 19 March 2015 - 11:56
I am so sick of men around me just begin damn right difficult. I am not really a morning person but just get on with it. Men are like babies. My daughter threw up in her bed so at 4.30am and had to clean it up and then had to feed the dogs, take them out, shower get myself ready for work. I wake my husband up with a coffee and he only has himself to worry about and still he struggles to follow simple instructions for one simply thing I ask.....get to work the I have an aggro boss to deal with and he says to me he is tired.... Sorry don't mean to sound harsh but DONT DO IT. You have yourself to blame. Women love to play superwoman. Get up, look after yourself, don't bring him coffee, leave the dogs inside and when he finally gets up, he will have to clean up dog poop on the living room floor. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery by treating him this way. Men are not Gods! edited by derien on 19/03/2015 I wish I could leave the house in a tip, leave puke on the bed while my daughter has to sleep in it....I cant...he will quite happily lets dish stack up to the ceiling....I can let me house be a health hazard...I know what you mean those. Are you married? Of course you can't leave your daughter in a pile of puke. I would have done the same. But if I am then expected to get up in the morning to go to work, I would not have done the rest. Yes I am married with two children and I work full time. I trained my husband very early on in domestic matters. we both pull our weight equally. Let the dishes pile up, let he get up one morning to see there are no clean clothes in the closet for him. He will get the message, trust me :-)
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Latest post on 19 March 2015 - 11:31
I am so sick of men around me just begin damn right difficult. I am not really a morning person but just get on with it. Men are like babies. My daughter threw up in her bed so at 4.30am and had to clean it up and then had to feed the dogs, take them out, shower get myself ready for work. I wake my husband up with a coffee and he only has himself to worry about and still he struggles to follow simple instructions for one simply thing I ask.....get to work the I have an aggro boss to deal with and he says to me he is tired.... Sorry don't mean to sound harsh but DONT DO IT. You have yourself to blame. Women love to play superwoman. Get up, look after yourself, don't bring him coffee, leave the dogs inside and when he finally gets up, he will have to clean up dog poop on the living room floor. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery by treating him this way. Men are not Gods! <em>edited by derien on 19/03/2015</em>
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Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 14:04
Good to know. Thank you for sharing
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Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 12:17
And.....this is exactly why the Philipinnes Govt has placed a ban on girls coming to the Middle East to work as maids.
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Latest post on 11 February 2015 - 14:49
Nope - you are right to feel p**sed off. I would be furious. She is taking you for a ride. You need to sit down and have a stern word to her. Tell her that she is not to leave the house between x and x hours even when she is on her break. her day off is Friday and she can do what she wants but not when she feels like it and certainly not on your time. You are paying her! I would honestly start looking for another maid if I were you. Sounds like she is the Madam of the house :-) <em>edited by derien on 11/02/2015</em>
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Latest post on 21 January 2015 - 11:27
Thanks for your comments ladies, Derien what nationalities are the teachers mainly? Any comparisons with DIA and Gems World Academy? The nationalities vary. Irish, English, American, Canadian, Australian etc. The Mother tongue teachers would be from the native country though.
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Latest post on 20 January 2015 - 15:25
Both my children are at DIA. It is an excellent school in terms of academics. Most IB schools are. The quality of teaching is great as is the mix of nationalities. The school offers a mother tongue programme for the Dutch, German, French, Finnish, Danish and Swedish kids of which there are many compared to other schools. The only gripe I have the school is there lack of sports culture although it is getting better. DIA have some amazing athletes in all areas but particularly football and swimming. They are always winning the big interschool events yet their home facilities are not up to par. I am very happy with the school and my son and daughter are thriving there.
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Latest post on 18 December 2014 - 09:29
Why aren't Muslims the world over out protesting this? I don't understand it. Why? The silence is deafening. What kind of protest are you expecting? The people who commit these atrocities are not Muslims. We do not identify with them. There are many people claiming to be Muslims doing terrible things, but there are many more good Muslims who don't...but that's not newsworthy. Since 9/11, you keep hearing this over and over again, on how "ordinary" Muslims are indirectly complicit in such acts as they do not "condemn" the perpetrators. It is mostly BS, as the vast majority of the Muslim World has suffered from such acts, and never ever support them. But it is never enough for some... edited by Arch on 18/12/2014 I never said ordinary Muslims are responsible for these attacks or implicitly support them! They are the also victims of these barbarians. But if such atrocities were being committed in the name of my own religion and on an almost daily basis, I would be the first to get angry and I would want to defend my religion and its name. That is all I am saying.
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Latest post on 16 December 2014 - 10:44
Have you kept a copy of the receipt the Embassy would have given you when your deposited the 3000 AED? Do you have copies of the cancellation/ transfer papers for the maid proving she is with a new sponsor? If so, then I would call the Embassy and tell them that they have no right to withhold your money and that it is borderline theft. Tell them they have 24 hours to return the 3000 AED or you will be contacting the police. It is now up to the embassy to reach out to the new sponsor for the 3000 AED deposit. They cannot withhold your funds. It is illegal. Even the UAE Government Services at immigration do not do this!
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Latest post on 14 December 2014 - 10:15
Has anyone seen the value of crude oil today? I would think very carefully about investing in a property in Dubai. I firmly believe there is a huge correction coming our way.
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Latest post on 10 December 2014 - 11:29
I see property as a long term investment therefore long term projections for Dubai are good. Dubai is a safe haven in a wealthy region offering stability and a sound banking system. Impossible to project long term in Dubai. Your entire existence is linked to your job and visa status and that will not change !
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Latest post on 10 December 2014 - 10:55
She sounds like a freak. You need to address this ASAP before it gets worse
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Latest post on 10 December 2014 - 10:54
It's a tough question to answer. The market has reached crazy levels and the prices are bound to come down. Putin is offering an amnesty for repatriating money back to Russia so I do believe this will have a slight impact on prices as Littleone pointed out as Russian owners may choose to liquidate quickly before the expiry of the offer. Personally my motto is to only invest in Dubai if you can afford to lose what you put in. Investments are very risky business here.
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Latest post on 09 December 2014 - 13:57
I think it is a little unfair to punish Uber for this by closing down their services. Perhaps they need to be a little more stringent when interviewing and perform background & police record checks on potential drivers. To be fair, this could have happened anywhere in the world even using regular taxis.
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Latest post on 08 December 2014 - 11:06
Thank you HorizanMum2. Very very helpful
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Latest post on 04 December 2014 - 12:19
Argh Yes Hamleys ! Thanks
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Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 15:35
Thanks Anon. So there is also a ban on Ethiopian maids? Ha! I thought it was just the Philippines. Do you know about Eritrea?
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Latest post on 23 November 2014 - 10:35
We are also in the DIFC but I need a good case to put to my boss to give three days. DIFC is Government so I am not sure that all private companies based in DIFC are following suit
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Latest post on 11 November 2014 - 15:19
Please can you change the chronology of the posts back to how it was before. It's very confusing
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Latest post on 11 November 2014 - 14:28
Hi Daza, Thanks for your reply. DH and I have decided to send her home as soon as she is fit to fly. We are hoping she will get the all clear today so that she can leave on Saturday. It turns out that she is quite ill after all and she hasn't worked in over a week. Like you, we were fearful that this might turn into a nightmare situation where we have someone on sick leave endlessly. It has already had a huge impact on the family and I am currently working a part time arrangement to cope. We cancelled her visa this morning and we have agreed a settlement. I think it is a fair one. 3500 AED plus I have completely wiped the 2500 AED loan that she took out with us. It is sad to see her go but she will be better off with her family in the Philippines. I cant take care of her here as a fill time working Mum. Yes she has behaved childishly in the past and money has always been a thing with her but I would prefer to remember how good she was to the kids all these years. Arghh....Now I need to find a new maid! I
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Latest post on 09 November 2014 - 13:25
So my Nanny came back Saturday afternoon and basically slept the whole afternoon. This morning, she called me at 11am to say that she wasn't feeling well and that she needed to monitor her blood pressure so she is off to the hospital with her friend again. She said she may or may not be back tonight depending on whether she needs to go to the hospital or not. So..... what do I do? She owes us 2500 AED and I will lose 7 months of the visa if I send her back now. She is not doing anything at the house at the moment. She can't work. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
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Latest post on 06 November 2014 - 13:22
Most insurance companies here will only insure you upon proof of residency - the visa bit is quite important. By the way. sorry to hear about your son. I hope he is ok.
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Latest post on 06 November 2014 - 13:15
If you can, let go of this arrangent that causes stress on both sides. Cheers! And do my own laundry? Quelle horreur! LOL. I am doing my laundry on my own at the moment and it's not fun :-)
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Latest post on 06 November 2014 - 13:01
She is due to take vacation from 27th November for one month. I am not sure yet whether we shall cancel her visa and let her return home so that she can be with her family or whether she sees out her contract till June next year. If she is truly worried about her health, perhaps it's time they took care of her a bit.
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Latest post on 06 November 2014 - 10:35
I would definitely advise against giving your maid any kind of financial assistance or loaning her money even if she can afford to pay you back in installments. We have had our maid for almost 5 years and we have been very good to her financially. When she started with us, she asked if we could lend her 5000 AED to help put her daughter through nursing school. We agreed to it and gave her 5000 AED and deducted about 400 AED from her salary each month. When it came time to renew her contact, we put her salary up and she asked if she could renew the loan. My husband was dead set against it but I have a big heart so I gave her another 5000 AED which she paid off over the next year. 2 years into her contract, she wanted to go home at Christmas to celebrate her birthday and her grandson's christening even though it really didn't suit us as we both work full time and were not planning on going away that year. At any rate, we let her go and gave her a nice handsome amount as a Xmas bonus + salary in advance to help her with the vacation expenses. She came back and life went on. We got the contract renewal time in June, we asked her if she should take holiday in August at the same time as us and she said that she didn't want to. So we gave her regular salary + leave salary + the equivalent of the airline ticket and again she asked for a loan. We loaned her a bit less this time and continued to deduct it from her salary. That year, our maid had blood pressure problems and we rushed her to the hospital for monitoring. The whole thing cost about 2000 AED plus we put her salary up mid way through the contract so that she could buy her hypertension medication. Anyway fast track to Christmas 2013 - My Mum was diagnosed with cancer and I was a complete mess. I couldn't focus on anything other than my Mum. I also had my in-laws coming in on the 23rd for 10 days. It was also my maid's birthday on the 19th and I gave her a card with 200 AED inside. When my inlaws came, I told my maid that she could take 24, 25, 26, off ( because she is Christian) and that she should be back on the 27th. Well, when she can back afterwards, she was an absolute nightmare. She stomped and sulked around the house for two days. It was very very embarrassing in front of my in-laws. When I finally confronted her about it, she sais that she only got 200 AED from me this year ( in the birthday card) and that last year gave her 400AED! well I apologized and told her that I wasn't actually keeping account of how much I give each year and that I was very distracted with all that was going on with my Mom and in-laws. Anyway, in the end, to keep her quiet I ended up giving her an extra 200 AED reluctantly. Things went back to normal. In June this year, we again renewed her visa and told her we would be away in July/August and that she should take vacation while we are gone. She begged me once again to take vacation at Christmas as we are away also for 2 weeks. I accepted and paid her 2 salaries + 2500 aed for the equivalent of the airline ticket. I also told her that if she receives the money for her airline ticket, I would not pay it at Xmas and that she would be on her own financially if she wanted to go. WELL! I confront her in September and tell her that if she is going, she can go between such and such dates and that she must be back on the 27th of December. The she starts to negotiate on dates as she wants to come back after the New year. I tell her firmly NO!. The she tells me she sent all the money home and needs to borrow money for the ticket. I am almost exploding inside but she is always so good to the kids I agree to buy the ticket through my work and deduct it from her salary. FINE. Tuesday morning, as I am leaving the house at 7am to take the kids to school, she asks me if she can go and see the doctor because she has a sore neck. She then asks me if "Medication" is part of her benefits or not. Again, money always creeps into the conversation somehow. Well guys - I think I reached my limit right there and then. I told her I would not pay a single penny more and that we already put her salary up in June to cover extras like that. Anyway, she goes off to Rashid hospital that night and she was admitted with high blood pressure. She didn't come back the next day as she needed rest and she is now on sick leave until Saturday night. The funny thing is that I can feel no empathy for her. I feel guilty for not feeling any but I feel so used and abused that I just cant bring myself to feel sorry for her. AND..... It's all my fault for letting this fester for years. I know as a sponsor we have a responsibility towards her. We do love her but I just cant bring myself to want to help her anymore. She has just had everything the past 5 years. When my mother was ill, she didn't say anything, didn't care that I was suffering. Just wanted to know why Xmas bonus was 200 AED less than the year before. So ladies, when my maid gets back next week, I may have a tough decision to make and I think it is one that could have been avoided. Never, ever make financial arrangements with these people as it really complicates matters. I don't know if we will keep this person on much longer as there is now a lot of resentment on both sides which is over money. I have learned my lesson and will never, ever loan money again in this manner. edited by derien on 06/11/2014 <em>edited by derien on 06/11/2014</em>
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 09:54
- The Flagpole by the Docks - The Jumeirah Mosque - The Dubai Creek (preferably a view from an Abra) - Burj Dubai - Burj Khalifa - Safa Park - Jumeirah Beach - Miracle Garden for starters
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 11:28
MrsB - please can you stop posting stating that Pakistani Tribal Culture is "Islam" - it's not. As a Husband, Muslim or not - its highly disrepectful to throw out your wife's things. I did not, I don't think, in my post promote Pakistani Tribal Culture as "Islam". It is, as are most cultures, a combination of traditions and religion. You are right, Cherpie's husband is disrespectful to say the very least. He is a bully and will stand before his creator at his end and have to answer for his behaviour. I don't believe, as a Muslim woman, I am downtrodden or second best against my husband. I do know, however, when to sit quietly about certain things. Celebrating a holiday would be something low on the list of things to fight for regarding my children. Fight for a good education, the choice of marriage, etc. I do believe that in Muslim cultures, the children are written in the family record book as belonging to the father/family, not 50-50 with the mother and father. Please correct me if I am wrong. It is certainly the case with all Muslim families I know - Emirati, Jordanian, Palestinian Lebanese, Syrian - perhaps they are not the average, I don't know. (I asked the question to various friends last time it was raised on this forum.) I am happy to stand corrected, though. Is it any wonder why the rest of the world is wary of Islam and sharia law? Just because things are a certain way in certain countries DOESNT make it right. Men do not control women! My father would cringe at what you have been writing in your posts. He brought me up to be independent, autonomous and to make my own decisions. I certainly will never allow my daughter to be brought up to think like you. What a shame. And you can all give me the thumbs down for my harsh post if you wish. THIS KIND OF THINKING HAS TO STOP!!! <em>edited by derien on 15/10/2014</em>
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 09:47
." the children of any Muslim marriage belong to their father and to Islam" One word... BACKWARD! Cherpie I am so sorry you are in this situation.This is so wrong it really makes me feel ill to my stomach. <em>edited by derien on 15/10/2014</em>
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Latest post on 14 October 2014 - 13:58
Sadly they probably will. Also just read that the Turkish army are bombing the PKK Kurds! WTF? Helloooooooo why isn't anyone doing anything about isis?
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Latest post on 02 October 2014 - 17:02
1 day.
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Latest post on 01 October 2014 - 11:24
Even if they send her straight home on a plane without banning her, it will be difficult to return with all the restrictions
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Latest post on 01 October 2014 - 10:20
So sad. How could anyone do that. Presumably the previous tenants/owners shouldn't be that difficult to track down. Ask the neighbors.
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Latest post on 01 October 2014 - 10:17
thanks a lot for the info. and Is there an impact if we go to Al Barsha as DIA is on left ?? Yes there is only one way to go to Barsha from M9 and it's along that Springs Road where all the problems are. So there will be delays until the roadbworks are finished
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Latest post on 01 October 2014 - 09:56
There is no traffic exiting or entering Meadows 9 at all. The problems begin further down Al Asayal Street going towards Barsha ( In front of Springs 10 where the 2 sets of lights are) They have closed a lane off to do road works and it is causing major delays for school runs. It can sometimes take 30 minutes to go from Meadows 9 to DIA. <em>edited by derien on 01/10/2014</em>
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Latest post on 23 September 2014 - 16:04
LOL! Dr Matar will be infamous in the office. Now every time she tells her reports/ colleagues " I'll think about it and get back to you" they will all be wondering if it's her time of the month! Seriously though, this is very disappointing. I would like to add that half the men I work with are very bad decision makers due to high levels of stress as well as family/money problems! How is that different? edited by derien on 23/09/2014 <em>edited by derien on 23/09/2014</em>
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Latest post on 21 September 2014 - 11:54
Yes the roads are terrible at the moment. I see at least two accidents a day and the volume of cars on SZR is unbelievable. I don't remember it being so bad before. Are there more people in Dubai ?
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Latest post on 15 September 2014 - 12:03
The answer is yes. We buy her the following on a monthly basis: Shampoo & Conditioner Shower Gel Toothpaste & Toothbrush x 2 Body cream Sanitary pads We also buy her a 50 aed calling card. We did put her salary up to 2500 aed recently and it was supposed to cover all this but she still adds her stuff to the shopping list and I still continue to purchase them for her.
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Latest post on 11 September 2014 - 14:47
Thank you ladies. All very good ideas. Feeling a little more relaxed now.
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Latest post on 11 September 2014 - 14:46
I think he will get off scott free
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Latest post on 08 September 2014 - 10:33
Well you just need to get them back somehow.
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Latest post on 08 September 2014 - 10:12
They may surprise you - i doubt any family member would say that when you are asking for help. Maybe when you and the children are safe you may get it ;) I agree with Izzy. Call your Mum and tell her what has happened. You may be surprised. I suspect that your parents are in doubt over your intentions as you have stayed with him for so long. If you really want out, then your family will help you but you need to be prepared to leave with the kids He physically has their (my) passports... It would be so much work and I'm not sure a quick procedure in any case...[/quote So he olds the family's "western passports" and has also applied for passports for the kids from his country?