DesertRose1958 | ExpatWoman.com
 

DesertRose1958

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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 February 2014 - 12:41
If you are in your car and ready to go by 6.25 am you should be able to do it in 45 mins max by going down the Beach Road then picking up the Highway further down. But leave it a few minutes later and it will take far longer. Also, do not attempt the highway from the big traffic lights up from The Wave - always go down the Beach Rd.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 February 2014 - 07:02
We even have them back on the shelves in Muscat. Hooray :) :) Not in Spinneys though. They are available in Carrefour, and if we have them then you must certainly have them also.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 16 February 2014 - 16:12
There is a thread from just a few weeks ago covering this scenario. You will find it if you look but in the meantime my advice to you is SEND. HER. HOME. NOW. And not just because she and her husband probably thought now would be a good time to get pregnant and have their hospital bills etc paid for them, as well as loads of other calculated reasons that they think the thought of will never enter your mind <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 16/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2014 - 10:16
Msfit, this is just to acknowledge your post. I have to be out the door in half an hour so its time to get my trainers off and my skates on. What Im going to say may be controversial but I'll say it anyway, and its up to you and others to do what you like with it. :) All over the world there are people of faith working on days considered to be their Holy Day and for that reason I will not organize my house to accommodate people wanting to practice their faith on a particular day of the week. If a Surgeon/Policeman/Shop Assitant/Pilot/Waitress/ etc etc etc can work through the time of Mass or attending the Mosque then so can anyone in my house - us included. Its life. Its made very clear when people come to us, and we very rarely have a vacancy to fill, that traditional weekends off happen just once a month at most. I would never discount a persons need to practice their faith so I make sure they know of the timings of mass on other days of the week - they always get to Church. And this business of a Friday - its not the Sabbath so as far as I'm concerned if you don't actually get to Church on a Sunday then any other day of the week will do. It does not have to be a Friday. As for drop offs - no. If a person can get from thousands of miles away to work here then they can get to church on their own. Our local staff are happy to just get their prayer mat and pray, they will say to me - its ok not to go to the Mosque, I'm on duty. Every religion has alternatives for when a believer needs them. This is what works for us, but only because people know what they are getting into when they come and work for us, any emergencies are usually covered with good heart because they know that's what it is - a request way outside of the norm and for good reason. Another thing is that people can expect a lot from their staff and think because they are good to them and treat them to bits and pieces that their responsibility by way of fair reward stops there - it doesn't. Pay according to the demands of the job from the start, and that way anything you give over and above is seen as an appreciation for their efforts - not as a roundabout way of getting more out of people for less. I don't take any nonsense as an employer and my staff, we have 4 different nationalities working together including a European and locals, don't have to put up with any nonsense from me, and the same rules apply to all of them. If one of them ever did what your maid did I can be sure it was because I'd pushed them way too far and was taking the mickey out of them being understanding. There's a lot for you to think about on this thread. and for what its worth - I don't think you're a bad person. Just maybe a bit young and a bit daft. :) Something we've all been at one time or another. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 12/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2014 - 08:09
You will have to get your skates on, schools are few and far on the ground here and places are difficult to get. Re the BC - that would be the British School in Medinat Qaboos, and I think perhaps the Royal Flight School and the Muscat International school. But pls do check that. There are other small schools around, new start up schools, and I'll get back to you on whether any of them do the BC.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2014 - 08:01
Nomad, yes, I started singing it whilst reading about her death. RIP Shirley, and thank you for the many hours of Saturday afternoon films on BBC2 that I watched with my granny and granddad.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2014 - 07:50
Op I think you have been given a lot of grief because of the very dramatic way you have worded your post. I can't help but wonder if this is just your way of speaking? Do you think it is possible that you may have over reacted when your maid asked if maybe your husband could watch your son instead? And maybe the way you reacted to what may have been a harmless question, may then have angered your maid into threatening to quit? It's not ok for your employee to threaten to quit, but its also not ok for an employee to yell, or be abusive toward an employee. I have no idea what you said when she suggested your husband might manage without her, but perhaps you should reflect on that and maybe you will concede you were both out of line and decide to just leave it be and move forward? I have received some good advice such as trying my bestf to be aware of my schedule and request her ahead of time. Getting another maid to be able to balance it. This story is usually seen from the maids side, an employer can never mention that her maid worked a weekend without it turning into abuse. Have a beautiful day, the op will no longer be commenting :) Msfit, you've said you wont comment anymore and that's fine. I think you'll still be reading though. I almost never ever see it from the maids side and all the more-so when it comes to weekends off and down time. Its just the way our house runs and people are well aware of how things work when they accept the job. It surprises me that you think you are a fab employer yet you've needed advice regarding forward planning. It really should have been thought about way before now. As should have what happens when a day off has to be asked for as a work day. Once you get your system in place I think you'll find that if a person knows the score re what happens when they have to work a weekend you'll find that should you ever need to say, look I know this is sudden - it will be ok because the person wont feel as if someone is taking the mickey. You've said this was the first weekend in a while she couldn't go out but I suspect there is a lot going on on weekdays also,that Thursday was the straw that broke the camels back. Ive re-read your posts time and time again to see if I can find a different way of looking at this but I'm sorry, as a very experienced employer I can't. I truly believe there is more to this than meets the eye and that the maid was totally fed up on the day. I doubt you'll accept this, but I can tell you from now - you will never have any maid for any length of time. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 12/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2014 - 18:12
But, I pay her very well. I buy her gifts, I helped her purchase equipment for her dream restaurant in her home country. Which is why i am so heart broken, because i went above and beyond for her Heart broken, Distressed, heartbroken, feeling abused! I daren't comment on the above and to use the word abused in reference to this post is shocking!! Sarahlou, you only chose what works for you. If you had quoted everything you would have seen that i said I don't like counting. I am sorry if it appears as though I am an abuser, posting this has actually reaffirmed my belief that my maid has indeed taken advantage of me. Nobody here has mentioned how she told me she will not show up for work the next day when I had to work. I am sure for most of you you do not have to work weekends, lucky you. However I do. My husband travels a lot, and I need someone I can count on. I appreciate and respect that giving up of private time is so precious and that is why I reciprocate by what I know best, physical items to improve her life. I think beyond myself. Same thing goes for full time working moms, you work very hard. Your boss wont hug you, he gives you a perfomance bonus. Please do not choose to read what you like to make me an evil person. You mentioned people not having to work weekends. Well, due to circumstances my house runs 24 hours a day, every day - weekends are what other people have. Yes people get days off but it can be any day of the week. I think in general they actually get one friday or Saturday off a month to ensure everyone gets a friday or Saturday off once a month. There are times when all hands are needed on deck and time off is cancelled for all of us, even me. Its just the way it is. I have great staff and if one of them were to ever say to me no, its not happening, I would be shocked but I would have to ask why it was being said. I think I would have to assume I was maybe not getting the balance right. Yes, I give other days off and pay on top of that, but sometimes people just need or want the time off.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2014 - 17:08
I expect a lot from my staff, and not always getting their expected day off comes into it, but your post horrifies me. If ive understood correctly she has time off every two weeks so she could end up working a month before she has a day off, maybe even 6 weeks if you are very busy. Surely one day per week off would have been a better arrangement. You have said she is a great maid, but you must know that being a great made/housewife is exhausting. Or are you not aware that it is? Have you ever done day in and day out for weeks and months on end what she does for you and yours? As for your husband looking after your child - it was an option. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 11/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2014 - 14:04
You could also just donate anonymously and discreetly. Or you could become a volunteer and really do some good. edited by DesertRose1958 on 11/02/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 11/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2014 - 09:20
Blimey, I have to say my sympathies and respect are with granny, she must be really hard core if her first instinct in the middle of the night is to go to the kitchen and not straight back into bed with the wee one. Its what I would do. I'd 'heat them up' back to sleep with a bear hug, one of those ones where you're leg is over them as well so they cant move an inch. A very ample bosom also helps in that the wee one is snuggled into it and out for the count before your false teeth have sunk to the bottom of the glass on your bedside table. That said, I can kind of see where mum is coming from as well. Maybe its just the way things were explained in the OP that can make it come across to some of us as not very nice. We live as an extended family on a day to day basis though we have our own homes, we make mistakes, we take the pee out of each other because of that and the 'daft ideas' we can each have, we listen, we learn, we make allowances and turn a blind eye or hold a tongue when need be. We don't fall out. Its not worth it. It really is not worth it. I find there are even words for things that years ago we just knew was part and parcel of a baby being a baby, things that weren't even mentioned because they just happened naturally - last week I had to google 'acquisition' because I had no clue what it meant in relation to my 10 week old grandson. Five children and 4 grandchildren and it still a learning curve, I honestly did not know a baby could be unsettled during feeding because it was going through an acquisition period. A sore belly, yes. An acquisition period, no. I just always thought they could be unsettled during a feed just because they liked looking around them. :D <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 11/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 02 February 2014 - 04:49
I looked into B&L for DS but decided against it on the basis of cost (it's hugely expensive!) & the considerable time commitment. Anecdotally I've heard very mixed reviews about the results. Also I know one of the tutors & whilst she's a fantastic lady, she has no relevant qualifications & was trained in only a few weeks. That surprised me. If money was no object I think I would try it though. DR1958 I was interested in your link. Do you know if anything like that exists in Dubai? I have been recommended Dr Grim (?!) at the Fairmont hotel. Any reviews? I think you sum things up pretty well. The lady I did a workshop with was pretty crapola at what she did also. I didn't ever go back to her, not even for the next workshop but I did get hold of the materials myself and have a go at doing it with my boy, as well as one of my daughters just for the sake of it. She was doing her IB at the time and it was just a bit of fun. My granddaughter does it with the lady doing her Davis method and its been fab for her , no more falling over wet woodbines, but that said I firmly believe its also down to the other things we have in place for her as well. Re Ian. There is no one in this region doing what he does, and pls understand that what he does is different to an Irlen lense. He will travel and last year I was going to bring him to the region and just divide the cost between parents, Ive done it before with our specilists and it works out really well. Its the overall cost divided between how many people he sees, no profit involved, apart from a donation to see that one child from a less fortunate background gets to see the person as well. Its not a big donation, just the equivalent of a few hundred dirhams. Anyway it was brought to me attention that a family from here were checking up on how much it would cost to get him here etc as they obviously thought I was going to be trying to make money from it. They wanted to check that what ever I suggested price wise - it was the price. Well either that or they thought oh we'll let her get them as far as oman at their expense then we'll ask him to nip up to Dubai for the day and cut out some of the cost for us. It was quite disgraceful behavior so I just said to him - we are coming to you. It was no skin off our nose but it was a shame for others who missed the chance to see him. And lets face it, even if a person brought him or any other specialist to see their child, it would only ever cost the same amount as a one parent and a child going to see the specialist abroad, and its much less hassle. Anyway, all it involved was getting to Ayr, which is very close to Glasgow, having a good nights sleep, seeing him the next day, then getting on the plane the next. We did allow for another day though just in case he wanted to do some fine tuning - but he didn't. The consultation only costs a couple of hundred pounds and the glasses not much more. I think I was about 800 for the consult and 3 pairs of glasses. The fact its so reasonable is another reason why it can be a good idea to get him here to see others - the ticket money can be a lot compared to the price of the intervention. Its not usually the case. These kind of things are usually arm and leg jobbies. I first came aross Ian on an autism forum about 10 years ago and tried to get one of my older children to see him, he's a bigger version of my granddaughter, but he said no and as he was a young man at the time I thought ok, its up to you. When it became clear my granddaughter had her quirky bits I thought to myself - aha, its Ian Jordan for you, little one. The difference in her is amazing, yes its helped her reading, a lot, but its the change they have made to her sensory issues that I find most satisfying. For example there was a kind of hall in school where the kids would congregate and it drove her potty to the extent she would get out of school and my daughter would know as soon as she picked her up if she'd had to spend time in the room - she would be on total sensory overload and all **** would break loose as soon as she got in the car. Anyway one day she was saying something about oh today we were in the hall and it was funny, and my daughter said you were in the hall, and she said yes, I can go in there now if I wear my glasses, they help with my 'hearing', I don't get stressed and angry anymore when Im in there. It was a revelation and from her mouth alone. She had absolutely no idea at all as to what the glasses were supposed to be doing for her sensory wise, she just went there one day and listened to what her brain and body were saying to her and that was - put your glasses on. I can usually smell a woowoo treatment from a mile off - there is nothing woowoo about Ian. He lets parents do the testing using various coloured lenses as well, and its amazing what the different colour can even do to the taste of the sweets he gives you to chew as part of the testing. hth :) edited by DesertRose1958 on 02/02/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 02/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 01 February 2014 - 20:05
CChicco77, what was her final answer ? She came back on Saturday and told me she will travel with us for as long as we want. Of course I answered that if she's going to be resentful or unhappy, I won't want her coming along. She smiled and said she does want to go, and again said it was her dad that was unsatisfied with her leaving. I made it clear one more time that this is a job, just like any other but fortunately she could choose on whether or not to continue with it. Her response "I want to stay with you, I'm happy here". DesertRose made a point, all this in the end is because I must have been doing something wrong. I have to continue treating her as well as always because she is a human being just like all of us, but never forget that she is my employee and she needs to be very aware of how far she can go. No. You didn't do anything wrong. You just got confused about your role as an employer. There's a difference. :)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 01 February 2014 - 19:56
We also used brain training with my son, albeit a modified version that took his abilities into account. It did nothing for him but his difficulties are extreme and go way beyond his autism and Tourettes. But on the other hand it has been of great help to my granddaughter, she doesn't have ADHD but she is dyslexic, has auditory processing disorder, sensory issues, and more than likely dyspraxia. She has gone from being a wee girl who would trip over fresh air, and fall going upstairs for eg, to being able to walk upstairs like a wee model. She is just so graceful and elegant. She has never at any stage in her life been quirky enough for medication to have even been mentioned let alone have to be considered, but if it had I would have encouraged it because for some children no amount of non medical interventions are enough. We haven't just done brain training with her, we also do sensory stuff and she wears glasses with a blue lense that were prescribed by http://www.jordanseyes.com/ . She is also doing the Davis method for her dyslexia. There's really good parenting going on as well and my granddaughter is now a happy wee girl who is doing really well at school academically and socially. You just have to try things but you don't have to try them on their own for ever, as a mum you will know whats best for your child and if your instinct is telling you he needs medication then listen to it. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 01/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 16:29
I have a son who's food issues stemmed for Classic Kanners Autism. It was an absolute ****** nightmare, and it was only after starting medication for some of his problems that he started to eat. And I really do mean he did not eat, for eg he lived on toast with butter cut into squares and toasted for a certain amount of minutes for about a year. I could go on and on and on but I wont for the simple reason I cant - my chest closes in terror at the memory of it all. Anyway just why the children with ASD wont eat or cant eat really isn't known for sure but there is very clear evidence to suggest sensory issues are at play along with the need for sameness to ensure a feeling of security and well being. Could it be along the same lines with ADHD? I honestly don't know what would have happened if my son hadn't started on some very serious medications but such is the change in him I can only say I wish I hadn't waited so many months before finally agreeing to him having them. It was a misguided thing to do borne of the best of intentions. As for what people think? You will manage in time how to handle opinions but for now just remember they are like backsides - everyone has one. There is a book called Cant Eat Wont Eat and whilst it stems from the viewpoint of those on the spectrum I think its ideal for anyone who has a child where sensory issues may come into play, and I believer they can with ADHD. It wont get your son to eat but after reading the personal accounts of those who 'cant or wont eat', as well as those of their mum etc, you will be left with a feeling of all round relief and things may just seem a little bit better. I hope some of this has helped. :)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 16:04
You all recommended kids first for occupational therapy for my child so I called. The receptionist said she couldn't book me an appointment. First she needed to take all of my details - which took more than 10 minutes on the phone. Then she said someone will call me in two to three days. And then, when someone calls me, she can't tell me how long it would take to get an appointment - maybe a month? Is there any where else I can try? Yes, horribly frustrating. Just horribly. It has been mentioned here many many many times. However one you are past the absolute chaos that counts as their reception and appointment system everything is A1. We live very much in the world of special needs and this is very much our clinic of choice for the little quirky ones in our family who need some fine tuning. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 30/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 27 January 2014 - 12:36
I feel so sorry for the OP with this problem. Of course she can travel and deliver and look after her children with the help of her family, but when she is employing a Maid who clearly understood the importance of and agreed to travelling with her, she has every right to be very angry and dissatisfied with her. I think that most of us would feel the same as she does. I think that it shows disrespectful behaviour from the Maid, and I don't think that she should be recommended to another family, as she is likely to 'let them down', also. To be paid for her holiday, and then to be paid double for two months of less work, the OP is really going the extra mile here, and she is so unlucky to have such a disloyal Maid. Thank you Pink Lily. Of course I can take her of my son without help, this isn't the issue. This thread is about my maid not traveling with us when she was clearly informed before being hired that this was a must. That's all. :) I have circumstances at home which mean I travel with two staff if my youngest son is travelling with me and I would be fuming (in private and not in front of the staff member) if this happened to me. But I would also be asking myself how it came to someone being able to say well I know this is part of the job but Im not going. My conclusion would have to be that I had a big part in it. That the person was able to say it because I had taught them it would be ok. Try not to let anyone who works for you feel they are indespensible either by telling them they are, or by doing things that make them think they are. There is a fine line between appreciation and letting someone think you cant do without them. You have children so always have a back up plan regarding what ifs - have a nursery or friend in mind you could send your children to if one day you wake up and think stuff this for a game of soldiers, she is going now. Do not ever let anyone have the upper hand in your house, or let them have your husbands ear. You and only you are the woman of the house and you should never have to live with maids antics or an atmosphere. Never let yourself be in a position where you have to keep a pest under your roof because of finances, a person really can only afford maid if they can afford to lose the costs associated with having one. I have a lot of people in my house, the longest serving has been with me for 26 years and hes seen me through thick and thin with my son but even he knows some things would just not be allowed to happen. Hth :) <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 01/02/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 22:34
Thank you both. Starting to wish we had just offered an allowance at the beginning. I find it a bit weird buying food for another adult who's not my immediate family. You will find with having a maid that things can kind of get personal, - her doing your laundry for example, cleaning your bathroom, and you buying food for an adult you aren't related to. It really all does work out in the wash. Honestly :)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 22:23
I think we work along the lines of grumpy and my only rule of thumb is that no maid would ever be expected to do housework that I wouldn't do. If I've ever done it, it part of the job, and there's very little I haven't done. I will not clean cars however and would never expect the maid to do so. As for hours - till the work is done because that's what a maid is, a paid housewife. Some days in my house its non stop from morning to night but that can then be followed by 2 or 3 days of next to nothing to do apart from the basics. Like any housewife a maid who's smart will sort herself out so that the work is covered and there's periods of down time in a day. I do though give the maid a kind of framework for the day and they know that if they aren't at a certain stage in the proceedings by a certain time they need to be rethinking their day. I can usually tell the day before if the next day is going to be a busy one or not and there are generally no surprises. As for home comforts - they each have their own room and en-suite furnished to a high standard, tv package, a small staff sitting room where they can sit if they are fed up in their room, a bit of the garden to themselves so they can have the occasional friend around, use of the wifi, money or a day off in lieu given to them by way of compensation if I ever have to say I'm sorry but circumstances are such that you cannot go out on your day off. We have extenuating circumstances at home and I appreciate every moment and everything my staff do for me and mine. Laptops etc - no. Not even a phone. We pay a salary way over the odds, give good Christmas and birthday presents, and again at Eid. They also get a thank you if we have had a lot of visitors and my visitors are also expected to leave something for them or buy them a wee thing. Its very much a case of if you would like a laptop etc you have to buy it ourself. But that said I'm currently paying for swimming lessons for my staff because they want to be able to use the pool and I wont allow it till they can swim. I do buy them clothes because they deserve to look smart and be feminine, we go 3 times a year and they can have what they want up to a certain limit. I find that clothes are one thing they seem to feel guilty about buying from their salary. They also have really good medical insurance. What time does the maid start? That would be 6am, they must be ready to start work at 6 am so I think they must be up about 5. Quite often Im up and about before that but I never have breakfast till they appear and its made for me. I will have had a cuppa but I don't have breakfast till its made for me and served in our room. Its my treat and one of my very few personal indulgences maid wise. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 10:51
DR, I hope I didnt misunderstand, I did think your comment was funny, thought it would be quite an interesting evening if he thought a meat pie and a cake was a scene from 50 shades. edited by littleone on 26/01/2014 My apologies for not understanding. :) I always get a bit unsure when there is an exclamation mark. My mind was going in the direction of a four n' twenty being a big piece of wood - and the pav. Well, enough said :D <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 10:38
Happy Strayla Day!!! Sorry dont know about the kangaroo meat but you could give him a four n twenty and a lamington or a pav as another option. He might think he stepped into the pages of 50 shades with the four n twenty or an option of pav. edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014 It wouldnt be a bad night for him then! Why the exclamation mark? I think you may not have understood my humour, or perhaps the humour that I intended to be there wasn't. Or perhaps I've misunderstood your exclamation mark. :) <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 10:35
Im surprised at some of the watches mentioned below as being desirable considering how cheap and nasty they look - it must be that the insides of them that are the attraction. So whats my dream wrist watch? Well that would be one with numbers big enough to actually see, on face that didn't have to be so large, that my arm becomes the length of a gorillas with the weight of it all.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 10:28
Happy Strayla Day!!! Sorry dont know about the kangaroo meat but you could give him a four n twenty and a lamington or a pav as another option. He might think he stepped into the pages of 50 shades with the four n twenty or an option of pav. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 10:26
To people like this bloke any publicity is good publicity and I suspect he will soon bounce back. He should have just been looked at as the silly billy :D he is and ignored. Its what would have bothered him more.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 10:14
I work on the basis of what we have access to food wise the staff do as well because anything else would be discrimination and given that food is life ................... How to handle going to get something and it being gone? I think I would just make sure there was always a well stocked fridge and that anything bought was bought in enough quantity for 3 people. But I have been known to say to everyone in the house - pls don't have the remains of x y or z because I'm having it later. It works for us because we all know what person has a particular favourite and if one of us went into the fridge for a rummage we'd be likely to say oh so and so loves that, its their favourite, so I'll just ask them if its ok to have it or if they've earmarked it for later. It works well for us. I think what Im saying is that if you buy fresh salmon then buy for the maid also - don't buy her tinned tuna because she's the maid. Make sure there is always good things for her to eat - what you eat she deserves to eat also. eta - my staff eat what we eat day in and day out but they, along with the family, know that their favourite will come up on the menu often. I just wouldn't pander to so many different palates on a meal to meal basis. I kind of live with like it or lump it so if they, and that includes family, don't like it - they can make a sandwich. But there would be no cooking of another meal or anything else that involved a cooker and more dishes to be washed and worktops to be cleaned. Could you maybe tell the maid in the morning - this is what todays meal is being made from. edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 07:29
Your husband should be the one dealing with all of this. You shouldn't stress yourself out over these small annoying issues. Millions of women cope each day with pregnancy,newborns and toddlers and do it just fine without a maid. You can do it too. My husband is a pilot and has been away this entire time. I wish he was here, it would make things a lot easier for me. I can handle my toddler on my own, there's no doubt to that but as I said, my husband is away a lot..... I'm on my own. I admire single mothers like no one else, it can be real tough, especially when you're expecting another baby. My husband is a pilot too. We have no maid and I have two kids. I travelled to my home country for both of their births on my own and returned on my own with them. It can be done and its not that hard. What Asti has said is what you need to take away from this thread. There doesn't appear to be extenuating circumstances that would prompt an understandable need for help so you really do have to woman up :) a bit, for want of a better way of saying things, and just get on with it. I understand about having a husband who's away a lot and not having family close to hand. We were a military family and my children are all now in aviation, or are married to someone in aviation. They live the life you do. My daughter had 3 children in 5 and a half years and I wasn't close to hand till number 3. And at one stage I had 3 under 5, no maid, and a husband 1000kms away. If I recall correctly my 4th child did her first uk trip when she was two weeks old. I had no maid and my husband was a continent away on a two year posting. Getting up out of bed in the morning with a frame of mind that said oh I'm a woman on my own, I'm pregnant, my husband is away, was never an option. It was get up and grab the day by the scruff of the neck and say 'watch me'! Its what you need to be doing as well. :) And someone said something about being let down too many times by maid. My take on it is well, everyone can be caught out once but, being caught out more than once - its no ones fault but there own. You are doing the right thing by terminating this lady but I wouldn't go as far as banning her. I would however send her back to Sri Lanka just so I didn't have the worry of her once she left my house. Eta - I dont agree your husband should be dealing with this. Its way too much in the style of the 1950's for my liking. And just one other thing - having domestic help should only ever empower a woman on to personal growth. It should never be about turning them into a southern belle. Not that I'm implying you are. :) You can do this :) <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 26/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 21:32
Lots of great advice on this topic.... I can see arguments either way but after having a Sri Lankan maid and reading stories like the one below, I realize that I do not appreciate the culture of family that they have. http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/crime/maid-refused-holiday-suffocated-baby-as-she-slept-1.1280352 Just be careful if you do come to an agreement about traveling with her - you never know how resentment can come to the surface. This is horrible! What a monster! How could she kill that poor baby???? This makes me not want to have anyone living in my home but my family! The majority of child abusers are family members. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 22/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 20:55
Well I have rather a special liking for Laila, Sara, Noora, Hanna But from the names suggested I also like Jude, Iness, May, Reem, Lara, and course Zamzam. One day I will have a Zamzam - I just have to persuade one of the children though.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 20:41
I can't go - I can't do much at all at the moment - my mother in law is here and she is not well and I am focusing on her. I am trying to get her well again - good food, rest etc - there is nothing specific wrong with her other than being too thin and frail and feeling the recent loss of her husband of more than 50 years! Insha'allah she will recover well while here, away from the family home and all the kids, noise etc. Please make dua for her. Good thoughts winging their way to your Mother In Law in the hope she feels better soon. xxxx
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 20:35
There's this new weightloss baloon that you swallow and it expands in your stomach so you eat less and it helps you get into a routine of eating less. http://www.obalon.com/ Has anyone tried it - sounds too good to be true :0) No, I haven't but quite a few years ago I did have a gastric balloon fitted. It was one of my dafter moments and I now have a band.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 20:32
Where did most of it go? There are only two replies but there should be more. Were the two remaining replies supposed to be deleted but the others were instead by mistake.? How can a names thread go wrong, or is that asking a stupid question? eta - its back again. :D <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 22/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 10:08
You are delivering your second baby in the summer and she is refusing to go with you !!!! ..... that is a whole different ballgame. I would absolutely tell her she is coming to Europe or her contract is terminated and she is going home. As others have said, if she is refusing to help you at such a delicate time , then she absolutely has no loyalty to you and your family whatsoever. Plus she has no appreciation or gratitude for all you do for her as a great employer. If it was me, I would absolutely dig my heels in and not allow her call the shots on this one. edited by mum2girls on 22/01/2014 This is exactly why I'm so disappointed. We've been nothing but good to her & when I need her most she goes and refuses to help me. I wouldn't see this woman in my way and the only thing I would be saying to her dad is - she has said its because she doesn't want to leave you but I suspect its really because she doesn't want to leave her boyfriend, but even so I am giving her notice and by the 1st of March she will no longer be employed by us and she will be going home. And In the mean time I'd be looking for another maid asap so she qualifies for Schengen/UK visas by next summer. As for this summer I believe you are well and truly snookered but even so the last thing I would be doing is negotiating with the maid or her dad. It just would not happen. Your baby is due in the summer and it will be hard but unless there is something you haven't mentioned about extenuating circumstances there really is no reason why you cant go on holiday with your children and without your husband and manage without help. People do it all the time, full time, and with more than two children. Please try to stop panicking and being scared because all its doing is building up a bigger belief in your mind, and probably the maids as well, that she is way more important in your life than she actually is. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 22/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 19 January 2014 - 10:20
And there is also this one but it didn't have what we were looking for. http://www.frostdubai.com/en/contact.html
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 19 January 2014 - 10:03
We bought my daughters dress in the Wedding Shop and they were fab until it became apparent that there tailor was no more a tailor than Minnie Mouse is. We were left 4 weeks before the big day with a dress that needed taken in at the bust, we knew it would and we were assured by the staff and tailor prior to it being bought that it would be a case of opening the seam on either side and taking it in. What it in fact needed was to be taken apart and unpleated down to the top of thigh, it was one those mermaid things, and then repleated and stitched back up again. The woman was a disaster and eventually another tailor was called, she took one look at the dress and said - it will literally have to be remade. The owner was called and after refusing to come and see what the problem was, the staff were even afraid to call her or him before 12 on a Thursday, she offered us something like 800 dhms off the dress to take it to a tailor of our choice and have altered. I told them to keep their money and we brought the dress back to Muscat where a tailor was able to do something from the inside of the dress with a kind of drawstring so that my daughter was kept in place on the day and nothing more than a spoon landed in her starter. That said however my girl was great and one the day said - ah who the **** cares, Im married and that's all that matters. She had gotten married the previous day in her traditional clothes and this dress was for what the kids here call their Mr and Mrs. So yes, whilst they do have lovely dresses and offer a very good service just be very wary of what they say can be done alterations wise, and all the more-so if that useless woman is still there. And another place to try is one the same stretch of road as The Wedding Shop, its in a small mall and I think is called The Bridal Room???? , its owned by a British lady and they also have lovely dresses and we had found a dress for my daughter there but out of politeness we still kept our apt at the other shop - and of course there was the 'real' dress. Its a much smaller shop than the other one and not as polished and glam looking but there is absolutely nothing wrong with the service and the dresses are on par with each other. The is also the added bonus that the owner is accessible, her mobile number is on the face book page. She is very nice. Then there is Contessa which I think is in Jumeirah Towers. As for Pronovias, much has been said about them here over the years and its usually about how rubbish the service is. I think the point is that the people who own these shops don't own them because they need to earn from it, they own them because they like to be able to say - oh yes, I am Pronovias in Dxb. They quite simply can afford to not give a hoot about any of it and Pronovias wont care as long as their rep in DXB pays for the stock the order. But that said the Eastern European young woman was trying, but the other girl, she was Arab, quite hated the fact others could afford a dress she could never hope to have. She was sneering and hostile and almost jumped out of her skin when my daughters spoke to each other in Arabic and gave her the kind of look she was giving them - she was expecting it but by then we were on the way out of the shop without a backward glance. Its a horrible place. eta - heres the link to https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Bridal-Room-DubaiUAE/156309731086952?hc_location=timeline They are in Jumeirah Plaza edited by DesertRose1958 on 19/01/2014 edited by DesertRose1958 on 19/01/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 19/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 18 January 2014 - 06:50
I breast fed all of my children and feel sorry for the woman who was told to 'cover over' in a way that left a bystander feeling quite gleeful. Whatever happened to the sisterhood eh? Surely a nicer approach would have been to approach the woman before the man did and say look, showing so much booby might not go down very well. Or perhaps follow on from what the man said by softening his words with a smile. But to want to high five him is nothing but disgraceful and mean spirited. So why did the mum think it was ok to breast feed the way she was doing? Well I suspect its because she knew its looked upon in this part of the world as the most natural thing to do, but she was confused by what 'natural' means. But that aside who knows what led up to the mum feeding this way in the mall. Could it be that the situation was desperate? Or maybe it was just a choice the mum made based on what she thought - that no one would blink at a child being fed. Maybe she was even wearing a new top and hadn't realised she couldn't feed a desperate baby unless she did bare all- if that is actually the reality of what happened because let's face it there are those the world over who are more than capable of having a fit of the vapours if a child is being breast fed at all in public, even very discreetly. I look at my girls, my daughter in law has an 8 week old baby and it seems to me that motherhood is way more complicated than it was back in the day. There is so much more for them to have to think about, and I dont think google helps with that one bit. We need to be supporting them ( and their half daft ideas at times), not kicking them in the poonanny and making them feel awful about themselves. edited by DesertRose1958 on 18/01/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 18/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 18 January 2014 - 06:11
Anne, I hope your son is on the road to recovery soon. Ive no experience of what you've mentioned in the 'normal sense' as my sons severe mood disorder is part and parcel of something else but I do have experience of psychiatric medications and youngsters. Youve said there's no improvement after 5 months and two medications. Only you will know why there has been two meds in 5 months but I just wanted to suggest that these medications can take quite a while to start working let alone work effectively. Could you maybe have another bash at one for a longer period of time than the others and see if it helps. Even side effects can take a while to settle as unpleasant as they can be at times. Eta - if you wanted to chat about medications I can raise you Lithium, Haliperidol, Abilify, Effexor, Procycledine - all washed down twice a day without a nice glass of Chianti. ;) <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 18/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 08:50
Im more inclined to think there's been some confusion and its mascara streaks on the towels. I'm inclined to agree... Nope! the lady admitted to the crime :P Nope :) I'm sorry but I'm still not swallowing it :D But that aside it was really bad form for any ref to have been made to the guest concerning any marks left on laundry be it bedding or towels. Especially considering they were almost strangers. I just think its one of those things where discretion and a mature attitude helps. It doesn't mean however that that you can't be flabbergasted about things at the very least but I think thats as far as I would go with it.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 21:26
Went to Pauls in Grand Mall recently and asked for my usual single espresso with a small jug of very hot milk on the side. This arrived, and when I asked for the bill, I noticed they had charge 600 baisa for the tiny jug of hot milk. There was no mention of this charge on their menu. Told the person in charge, and she just shrugged her shoulders. I told her 2 litres of milk costs 1 rial, and how could they consider charging this. Also said it was a rip off and that I would make sure that I dont go back there, and will tell friends and family too! Just be warned. OMG - I had the same thing happen just two weeks ago. I asked for a filter coffee with cold milk on the side and was told we charge for the milk. To cut a long story short I refused to pay and did indeed end up with a coffee and free cold milk on the side. I was not going to be moved on it and I think they realized this. I even had the manager say I can give you a lovely latte, it has milk in it and there's no extra charge. I told him to have it himself because I didn't like it and it wasn't what I wanted. I wont be going back.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 21:26
I like Zuma.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 21:22
Hello I actually live in Dubai and will be in Muscat for 2 full days. I basically only want to see sights and take pictures. Now can anyone tell me from experience, weather the "big Bus Tour" ($46) is a good idea or weather exploring by foot/local bus is better. I love walking and think you get the best foto opps by walking but I also see that some sights are far from each other...any info/opinions? Thank you ! The big bus tour is generally a fab idea but due to road works in Ruwi it is now anything but. In fact I'd go as far as to say that right now is not the time to be visiting the sites due to the road works in Muttrah and Ruwi. That said however you would be able to do the Grand Mosque and the Opera House area, as well as the long beach road in Qurum we call Sharat Al Hube. Its a gorgeous walk. Then there is the area known as Shatti which is beside the intercom, it has a beach and shops and coffee shops, its where people go and is very nice. If you tell me where you're staying I can give you more of an idea.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 20:58
So DesertRose, both your daughter-in-laws are Trolley Dollys then, so Dangerous Blonde is right about chatting up pilots ;) (only joking) It's a job I wanted to do as a wee lass, sadly I'm afraid of flying. edited by carolsinger on 14/01/2014 funny enough they didn't meet at work but its just natural people think they did. :) The one who got away :D was met when one of my lot was a student in Australia. My daughter met her husband at work, she was in the airline industry but she wasn't CC. My son the pilot met his wife at a party outside of work, and my engineer son met his on a mass camping trip where groups people just turn up at a certain meeting place and off they go, she was the friend of a friend of a friend. I do see people raising their eyebrows a bit when they know what my girls do and the fact they're eastern European makes them rise just a little bit more but I don't give a damn. We're they lucky ones having these girls in our family, they're just smashing, and I'm glad they came to us. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 14/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 20:45
I thought you had been chased down SZR by some lunatic. Quite a cr**ppy situation, but you know, life goes on.... ha! ha! sh*t happens!! [img'>http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z104/Becca1904/Smileys/Shocked/bth_ogenuitvrijwen.gif[/img'> .and they call us uncivilised. They called you uncivilised?, what a bl**dy cheek! edited by carolsinger on 14/01/2014 I don't think they actually did. It was just a ref to a general stereotype used by people who consider themselves racially superior to others who may do things differently to them.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 20:36
Hahaha well this thread has taken an odd turn. I can say no and no to all of the below - but fair play to those cabin crew who do study or get other "high" positions! For the record, I would have loved to have been CC - travel the world, visit lots of lovely places and spend my young crazy days chatting up pilots, but alas it wasn't to be, and now I am too old to join the ranks of trolley dollies the world over. TDB - Do you really think its like that? My two daughters in law are cabin crew and they live a horrific schedule, as do my son and son in law who are pilots. If there's a drop of blood to be squeezed out of them by the airlines - squeeze they do. Then they squeeze some more. Its a job that involves ****** hard slog and there are times when my lot are talking about work and things that gave them a 'little shiver up their spine' as they put it and I have to get up and go and do something else. Not even my life as the wife of an aircraft engineer, and the mother of another one, helps me with things. Its scary stuff. As for trolley dollies, God bless the ones who've helped me on flights with my son and who've stepped up to the mark for him without hesitation. And as for my own trolley dollies, well one of them has two degrees in Environmental studies and speaks 5 European languages fluently, she even had her own radio show in Budapest before coming here to earn a decent salary. The other one is a qualified kindergarten teacher and speaks 3 European languages fluently. Then there was one who got away :D - she had two computing degrees from Australia and also spoke 3 other European languages. All of them are smart girls and brave to boot because they do a job and get shivers up their spine more than we the general public are aware of. I'd never get back on a plane after the first shiver but they do. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 14/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 16:25
Im more inclined to think there's been some confusion and its mascara streaks on the towels.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 09:58
Thank you ladies. Even now I cant come up with - I should have said x y or z to her because the reality is that she was expert at what she did. She was a totally relaxed harridan. A disgrace of a woman and its obviously how she goes through life. Im hardly ever at the cinema and had gone back to see it with my daughter because she said the kids will be talking about it when we go back to school this week and I want to keep up with them. We laughed when we saw half a dozen of her pupils there but thank god they won't have much to say about the rest of the goings on and certainly not that Miss got in a fight in the cinema. :D Im back in bed today and will stay here for a few more days. Im just not shaking this bug off and hope im not going to be the same as my eldest daughter who's been left with some kind of post viral fatigue and 7 weeks in is still not 100 % better. To the ladies who've also been unwell -I hope you feel better soon. It's bliddy awful isnt it? edited by DesertRose1958 on 13/01/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 13/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 00:32
She was a row behind us and it made her taller and just seem bigger and scarier even tho I'm 5 foot 8. The cinema blokes were at the back. We were about 6 rows down. She couldn't see them. Her back was to them. I was looking at them standing there with their mouths hanging open. I knew they would be no help if she lamped me or my daughter one. Even when we were leaving the auditorium they did nothing except press their backs to the wall to let us past. I just feel really stupid for being struck dumb during it and for having a wobbling adams apple and chin when telling her husband what had gone on. In hindsight I can now see it as her thinking we were being racist. A bullying White british person picking on an Indian so she decided to have a go. I stood there saying racist? Racist? I was so puzzled and truly didn't get it at the time and it just added to our bewilderment. I knew we hadn't said anything except answer her question which was what did you say when you were moving. I told her, I explained to you we were moving because of the talking. She didn't mind talking but was peed off because they had to stand up and let us passed. It was dreadful. Really ugly. The whole thing. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 13/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 00:15
Her husband, son, and mum had left the auditorium. I think she made some excuse to come back so she could have a go. When the husband came out of the loo into the Foyer the granny and son were already outside. There was no sign of them in the Foyer. As soon as I could get into the foyer I did because I was scared for our safety. I also wanted to get away from her because I was dumbstruck and about to start bubbling. I had been hoping the ushers would do something but they just stood there open mouthed so I took my daughters arm and said lets get to Security,but there were none and its why I said I would call the police. She was still ranting in the Foyer. My daughter who's almost 25 by the way and is the teacher had gone to the car. It wasn't for her pupils or their parents to see. She has said we just have to rise above it mama. It was awful, she was horrible, loud, common, a fishwife, and one day she will pick on the wrong person somewhere in the world. edited by DesertRose1958 on 13/01/2014 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 13/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 January 2014 - 23:42
She was abusive and threatening, looming down at me from her elevated position in the row behind. I thought at any minute she would lamp me one. It was the kind of behaviour you don't respond to, you get the police to respond to it on your behalf. You cannot say the things she said and expect to get away with it and she really is very lucky she said it to someone getting over a bad dose of flu and still feeling quite yucky, and a young teacher looking at the woman and seeing 5 of her pupils and their parents standing two rows behind. Im British, my daughter is Omani but looks Mediterranean, the woman is Indian. She meant that I was a British racist picking on an Indian. She would not have had a clue about my daughters background. My daughter was a really good role model to her students, she didn't put a foot wrong. I did when I mentioned the womans BO to her husband, it was childish. As for telling her husband he needed to teach his wife to behave - he does because the next person she treats the way she treated us today might just be the person who quite rightly does phone the police and say Im not accepting this behaviour and i want to make a case. It will be the husband who has to deal with it. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 12/01/2014</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 January 2014 - 23:04
No. Sorry. Im on my phone and I have to break my posts down into segments or I cant type.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 January 2014 - 14:22
I bought 3 boxes in spinnneys jumeirah just last week. It was not in the Pork section.