Pink Lily | ExpatWoman.com
 

Pink Lily

Pink Lily
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Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 19:08
I feel so sorry for the OP with this problem. Of course she can travel and deliver and look after her children with the help of her family, but when she is employing a Maid who clearly understood the importance of and agreed to travelling with her, she has every right to be very angry and dissatisfied with her. I think that most of us would feel the same as she does. I think that it shows disrespectful behaviour from the Maid, and I don't think that she should be recommended to another family, as she is likely to 'let them down', also. To be paid for her holiday, and then to be paid double for two months of less work, the OP is really going the extra mile here, and she is so unlucky to have such a disloyal Maid.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 January 2014 - 22:07
May/Mai. It's short and sweet, and it means 'flower of the desert'. It's really easy and acceptable both here and there.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 02:11
How lovely to feel young(er) for once!!! Now I know why you ladies always sound so wise.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 December 2013 - 19:36
So pleased for you. you sound much more 'level headed' now, and have been able to come up with your own plan. I hope that you are able to avoid leaving in a hurry.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 December 2013 - 19:32
All marriages are different, and you must know what is acceptable between the two of you. Imagine if your husband was told that you had arranged a coffee with a man somewhere. Would he mind? Why would this girl make the story up? I think that you should tell your husband exactly what has happened, and ask him to explain it. I would not involve anyone else, but if he denies it, then he should be given the opportunity to go in front of her and deny it. It must be very difficult for you, but there is not really evidence is there?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 December 2013 - 00:47
Oh yes contact her, and hopefully you can pick up where you left. Maybe your husband is worried about 'sharing you'. Good luck.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 December 2013 - 22:52
On the contrary Doubting Thomas, I feel that all posters on this thread have chosen their words carefully and considerately. Just because Kenza has not posted recently, doesn't mean that she is not still reading the entries. She has been given the practical advice that she asked for, and any questions asked were asked for clarification.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 December 2013 - 19:16
Sorry A Rancher, we both wrote simultaneously. I agree with your last statement, but I am very inquisitive.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 December 2013 - 19:13
No none is telling the OP to break up her marriage, they're just trying to get her to understand the wolf is about to come bounding through the front door and eat her and her children alive so, its time to get down the fire escape. That its coming through the very same door the hubby left wide open for it when he sneaked away/misappropriated/nicked all of the family money and did he what he wanted with it. The same hubby who is determined to stay in Dubai because for him it has to be Dubai - well, the older ladies here, the ones who've been around the block with regards to the Middle East and all that goes with it, could probably expand on that little gem of an outlook quite accurately as to why for the hubby it has to be Dubai to the end. edited by DesertRose1958 on 16/12/2013 Desert Rose1958, would you mind expanding on why you think' it has to be Dubai to the end ', for those of us who havm't 'been round the block in the M.E.[/quote I would like to hear DesertRose expand on that too. I'm really curious now!??? edited by Minamiller on 16/12/2013 Or 'A Rancher', could you explain, as I think that you understood that reference!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 December 2013 - 18:42
No none is telling the OP to break up her marriage, they're just trying to get her to understand the wolf is about to come bounding through the front door and eat her and her children alive so, its time to get down the fire escape. That its coming through the very same door the hubby left wide open for it when he sneaked away/misappropriated/nicked all of the family money and did he what he wanted with it. The same hubby who is determined to stay in Dubai because for him it has to be Dubai - well, the older ladies here, the ones who've been around the block with regards to the Middle East and all that goes with it, could probably expand on that little gem of an outlook quite accurately as to why for the hubby it has to be Dubai to the end. edited by DesertRose1958 on 16/12/2013 Desert Rose1958, would you mind expanding on why you think' it has to be Dubai to the end ', for those of us who havm't 'been round the block in the M.E.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 December 2013 - 19:29
It is very sad to read your last post Kenza, and I feel your despair. However, at least your husband has now been honest with you and you are now completely in the picture. You must not feel that the solution lies with you. Your husband must be an intelligent man, who will be looking at the different scenarios too. Even if you got a job now, would you really be able to support the family? You must now pull together, to raise the cash you need to leave. Sell anything you have and buy the tickets. I do think that in exceptional circumstances the Embassy will repatriate nationals. Go to anyone who will have you, and start again. It makes no sense to run up further expenses here in Dubai. I think that you have social benefits in your home country. I hope that they are there for you. Wishing you the very best of luck.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2013 - 20:23
Well it isn't very glamorous, but I bought a beautiful pair for my daughter from MOE Carrefour. They don't have many, but there may be some to suit you. Also, less hassle from the seller!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 December 2013 - 21:04
Big money problems are devastating to any relationship.If things are already difficult between two people, then money worries make things a whole lot worse. Look back over the good times, and enjoy your memories. At least you have your children. You also have your husband, who is probably equally concerned about the future. Regarding after school childcare, in U.K. we have child minders who will take children after school hours. Is there nothing like that in Belgium? It may be that you need to stay together as a family to manage work and home duties. Please don't take this the wrong way, but there are many people in this world who have less than you have right now. Stay strong.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 December 2013 - 13:50
I did not know my MIL, but I am a MIL My daughter has big problems with her MIL. So I just want to say that sometimes, partly due to the inevitable 'generation gap', things that are said by a MIL, are actually misinterpreted by DILs and SILs. Sometimes, words/deeds that are meant to be kind,have the opposite effect. Honesty is by far the best policy. If you don't like something, don't go along with it, try to discuss it, and get the problems out in the open. Life is so short............
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 December 2013 - 10:44
He has gone, but his legacy will live forever.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 December 2013 - 21:02
So sorry to hear what you are going through now. I think that you and your husband need to put your disagreements aside, and sit together to do some paperwork. You must work out likely scenarios for whichever path you take, and see how the figures add up. Men often don't look at the whole picture. As a mother, you have to be logical, and point out exactly what the family needs, how much it is likely to cost in the different locations, and to be blunt, where it will be cheapest to live. Many of us have been in similar positions 'for one reason or another', and you will get through it. Here though, as we all know, nothing is free. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 December 2013 - 20:50
I saw some in The Marina Mall, in the toy shop on the top floor, 2 days ago.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2013 - 22:24
To be honest with you, the more facts that come out, the more difficult the question becomes. Without asking you very personal questions, it is difficult to give you a straight answer now. All I hope, is that you all enjoy the day, no matter who is with who.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2013 - 22:07
Then what about asking the girl what she wants to do? As she is oblivious to all of the problems, she will tell you the truth. But maybe it would be better if it is her father who actually puts the question to her? I am a bit puzzled about the ;child support' that you mention. Is her mother significantly better off that your family?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2013 - 21:55
In the perfect world, you would all be able to spend some time together, and I have read that many families are able to do this, where step children, step parents and biological parents all spend Christmas together. Failing that, I do think that this mother should be able to have her daughter for Christmas day. You do have your children with you.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2013 - 20:28
I think it depends on her mothers situation. Will she be alone when her daughter is not with her, or does she also have another family?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 November 2013 - 20:23
I have a very good friend who has become 'the new woman' for a man whose wife died a couple of years ago. The wife had been a colleague and a friend. My friend was acutely aware that people might presume that it was too soon, and even that some would think that there had been 'something going on before his wife died'. She insisted that they take things very slowly, as she did not want to become a substitute. Maybe your God daughter feels that things have progressed a little too quickly here. Anyhow, I think that you could point out that life is short, and that no-one knows what is around the corner. Also, that her father is doing nothing wrong, since his wife has already died. Who knows, they might have agreed between themselves that he should actively try to find someone to share his life and help him to be happy. Encourage her to actively get to know this woman as much as possible. She will then be able to see why her father is so attracted to her, and she will be able to share in their happiness. No-one needs to forget her mother, and she can be referred to in conversation without anyone feeling awkward. Good luck, and let us knowhow it goes.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 November 2013 - 17:30
This must be so upsetting for you. Do you know if there are any other children from 'mixed' backgrounds in your daughters class? It is difficult when a child is being singled out for something, as it is the norm for children to want to fit in. Depending on the age of your daughter, she might be too young to know how to defend ideas and ways of life, and it will be much easier for her if she is with the offspring of other couples similar to yourselves. It takes a level of maturity to understand that there isn;t necessarily a ';right 'way of living, and that flexibility is the best way.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 November 2013 - 17:10
It is such a pity that someone who was asking for advice, was given a different kind of advice, but didn't choose to accept it in a gracious way. That's all.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 November 2013 - 16:43
It seems to me that some people don't deserve any help/advice!!
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 November 2013 - 21:47
Yes, my friend also decided to forgive her husband, and they seem to be making a go of it. Good luck.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 November 2013 - 19:28
I also needed a 'no objection letter ' from work.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 November 2013 - 19:04
This might sound crazy, but as a last option, there are some cheap return flights to London coming up at £319.She could nip home, renew ins and come back again. That's not much more than it costs me to fly to Oman and back for visa, and much cheaper than paying for medical care if needed!!
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 November 2013 - 18:57
Hi Marvy71, sorry to hear that you feel so low. Do you have any special friends or family that you can confide in by email or even Skype? My friend recently told me about similar problems, and I know that it helped her when we talked about it, especially as I have known them for years. Feel free to share more details with us on this forum if it helps you, until you find a Professional to help you. We are all good listeners. (well most of us!!!) And look after yourself, chocolate, clothes, scent, more chocolate....whatever you feel you want.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 November 2013 - 19:50
I don't think there is anything sinister in this activity, but it is obviously worrying you. So if I were you, I would speak to her teacher, and tell her that you want it to stop. I don't think that anyone will challenge your daughter at this age, I am sure it will then soon be all over
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 November 2013 - 19:42
There are lots of good instructional videos on you tube that could help you.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 November 2013 - 15:44
Is this an outdoor car park or an underground one ? It is the first time I have heard of something like this happening here. I have always felt that this is a bonus of being here There is no way that I would go into an underground car park alone at night in U.K. but never worry here. What a blessing that your husband was there. /
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 01 November 2013 - 00:46
I have been once, and my husband goes regularly. We have been very pleased with the standard of their care. I was able to see a consultant ophthalmologist on a Friday, in A&E.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 30 October 2013 - 19:49
TDB, or maybe they will still be giving you advice about what to do/not do with school age children.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 30 October 2013 - 18:30
You poor thing, I feel so sorry for you. Did you have a recent injury, or has this come on gradually?
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 30 October 2013 - 18:19
I am trying to work out whether this thread is 'tongue - in - cheek or not!!! Is this a serious question about a human being?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 October 2013 - 21:08
I really feel that there is a big cause for concern here. As I heard someone say today, 'Children often don't know that they have been abused until they realise later in life. It is up to adults to watch out for them'. I would be reluctant to involve the school, as who says that they will DO anything constructive about it? I think far better to ring a hotline, and share as much as you are able. I would stop my daughter from playing with this child, and I would cut all ties with the family. This might sound harsh, but things can happen so quickly, and abusers are very devious, often playing on peoples good natures. <em>edited by Pink Lily on 22/10/2013</em>
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 October 2013 - 21:00
I have just read this and take it to mean that the children would automatically inherit as they are , of course, automatically Muslim.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 October 2013 - 19:52
Thanks EmmaRitz.
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 October 2013 - 18:58
I was aware of this concerning 'money', but what about if a property is in joint names of husband and wife?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 October 2013 - 13:48
Very well done for sharing this with others. It will make mums even more careful now when they put their babies down. You may well have saved someone else from the same or an even worse experience. Also a suggestion from me not to leave any loose toys/cuddlies in the cot which could topple over onto the baby.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2013 - 21:35
Wow, I really think that you have so much responsibility at the moment, no wonder you are finding it difficult. You can't even rest during the journeys, as you are having to do the driving. Anyone would find this routine very demanding, and a bit soul destroying. You have to have a little bit of time for enjoyment with your little baby. As someone once told me, 'you don't get this time back again'. Be a bit kinder to yourself when you can.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2013 - 16:19
People 'back home', always presume that to be employed out here, we are on a fantastic salary. Well, it is what anyone would presume really .I think that is only possible if someone is brought here on a contract. It is so different for locally employed staff. There doesn't seem to be any monetary compensation if someone doesn't require a place to live, either. I find it very irritating how employers are so cagey about salaries, and the fact that no-one is supposed to divulge their salary to any other employee. There really is no fairness.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 01 October 2013 - 23:44
Dubai Center for Special Needs would make use of them. Their place is by Safa Park. From there, things are sent to their charity shop,
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 September 2013 - 22:33
Hi, does anyone know yet whether schools will have a normal working day on Sunday 13th October?
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 September 2013 - 10:31
Good morning ladies,the title says it all really. I havn;t seen any magazines with knitting/dress making patterns here. Can we get Simplicity or any other dress making patterns here. Is it possible to buy them online?? Thanks.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 September 2013 - 19:50
If it was me who had seen this woman, then I think that the next time I saw her, I would have to make a point of telling her that I had had time to think about her behaviour, and that she ought to hear what it looked like. In a funny kind of way, when someone has poured out personal information to someone who listens, I feel that they are automatically involved. If you don't want to become involved, then don't allow them to tell you.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 September 2013 - 19:44
Yes iveranodxb, you are absolutely right. It is especially difficult for women who have been used to juggling a family with a full time job, to come to a country like Dubai, with no responsibilities here. Life can seem so very empty. However, it is difficult for others to understand, as it would seem as though they were 'living the dream'. Women here don't understand if they are busy with young families/work, and women back home also find it difficult to grasp. It is all about the feeling of purpose and usefulness I think.
Pink Lily
199
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 September 2013 - 18:29
Giggles57, which area do you live in? I finish work by 2.30. Maybe we could have tea together sometime?
Pink Lily
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 September 2013 - 14:26
Hello Ladies, just back from M.O.E. and can see lots of smoke going up from The Palm. What has happened?
 
 
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