TanyaR | ExpatWoman.com
 

TanyaR

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Latest post on 19 February 2012 - 13:57
I won't even tell you the nightmares I am having as I don't want to add those fears to your list! I am absolutely sure you are going to be fine! I have been concerned about the timing too, but figure it would have to be soooo quick to put me in a dire situation, the chances of that happening are very remote. I love it (not) how being a Mummy creates a whole new 'fear' list for us, so bizarre - noone told me I would feel slightly mad and OCD at times with my OTT concerns for the welfare of the kids!!! Anyway, do you have a neighbour closeby that you can call on in case you do get in a sticky situation? I know you have your maid, so you can always make sure she is looking after you, but if you really are concerned, it might be nice to have someone on call - just to make you feel more comfortable with the situation - although again, I am sure you will be fine! My thoughts, and clearly I am not a medical profession, but having been through this fear and rationalised what I will do.. my thought process has been... I don't think there is an ideal position, just however you are comfortable and that either you, or whoever is there can 'catch' the little one, so they don't drop from a great height. If you have your hospital bag packed, this should have the bits you will need, blankets to wrap the baby in if needed. Just try and make sure you are somewhere relatively clean, any risk of infection would (largely) be related to you, not the baby. The cord can stay attached to the baby for quite sometime, in fact in many countries, they leave the cord fully attached until it stops pulsing to ensure the baby gets all the really good nutrients from it. It is like the first lots of breastmilk that are really, really nutrient rich, the cord is still packed with really good nutrients, so it is thought more beneficial to the baby to leave this attached until it has taken everything from it. You do need a good strong pair of scissors, because the cord is quite tough to cut through - from last time they cut about 4 cms from the belly, and then clamped it - you could use one of kitchen bag clamps if you were desperate. Placenta delivery can take a while as well - although if you breastfeed straight away, this is supposed to help with the contractions, placenta delivery should be natural and you def don't want to pull it out, as they need to examine it post your birth to ensure it is complete and intact when it has come out, or there can be complications. I seriously don't think you would get to this point without an ambulance being there to help you. But if you are at home at this point, I would then be making sure you are lying down, and that your feed are elevated to help with the blood loss... I am now just laughing that I have written this (and clearly given serious thought to this happening myself!). You WILL be absolutely fine though I am sure of it! I am currently thinking given I had a very fast 1st birth, that this second one is going to go on for days (just because I am bracing myself for a fast one like you!) But given everything up until now has been the opposite to what happened last time, so I suspect the same will happen with the birth, and I will be posting on here saying 'I am still in hosp, stll having contractions, still no baby!!!" LOL
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Latest post on 19 February 2012 - 13:26
Hello Mummies!!!! Eek! And another week down - 38 weeks... going so quickly now! Alilaslett - I delivered DS (2) at Medcare and about to deliver No. 2 there when she decides to make an appearance - but they have been natural births (well working on the assumption all will go according to plan with this one!!) I have had two friends deliver two children via c-section at Medcare, both were happy, and returned for their second one, so I suppose that is a good sign. As I always advise on these things however, is most of this is down to person choice, just make sure you have visited the facilities and are comfortable with what you will be offered etc. Basically, what I consider to be a 'good' experience, might be a nightmare for someone else, it just completely depends on your expectations IYKWIM. I have actually spent some time at St Thomas's as well - I was living in London when I conceived so all my scans and check ups (pre 20 weeks) were there, plus I was at the waterbirth of my neice there. I think comparatively, you will find there is a 'higher touch' service in the hospitals here, it is almost like a bit of a hotel stay in the private hospitals here. I think the inside of medcare's facilities are nicer, but clearly not the same spectacular view and surroundings that you get at St Thomas's! Sorry, I can't help on the VBAC thing, my understanding is that they like quite a good length of time to have passed between births, but I am not sure if 17 months falls within that guideline - I know 2 years is considered okay (a friend did this) - someone else might be able to help on this... Anyway, welcome to the thread and good luck!!
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Latest post on 16 February 2012 - 22:45
hee hee! Have to admit this did make me giggle - only because I had this complete freak out on the way to hospital with DS. By the time we got in the car, contractions were about 1 min apart - our hosp is about 20 mins away from home, honestly, I was saying to DH - move it, I am worried I am going to give birth in the car - and I was genuinely worried that this would be the case. However, we did make it to hosp, and he didnt arrive for another 3 hours... needless to say, this time I still have a few nerves this will come along even faster and I will get caught short (not helping my thought process that DH works in AD!). My suggestion, If you do find yourself in a situation where your waters have broken and your contractions are so close together that you really doubt you will make it in time, I would jump in a bath at home (this tends to slow things down) and call an ambulance - they will at least have some medical expertise to deal with it enroute to hospital, and providing you live somewhere well known (so they aren't going to get lost finding your house) - chances are the local ambulance bay is closer than the hospital you will need to get to, so they will reach you faster, than you would the hospital. I understand (from speaking with someone recently) you can tell them which hospital you want to be delivered to, and they will do it for a charge. Other than that, I did see an episode of the Kardashians once where Kourteney pulled her own baby out by leaning over and just taking him out... hehehe
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Latest post on 15 February 2012 - 09:54
There are some schools here who take a very firm hand with strict policies around bullying (most international schools say they have a zero tolerance policy around bullying). However, there are a number that the policy, but in practicality do nothing to manage situations, which means as a parent you are powerless to get this issue resolved, without the school backing. Whilst it is all well and good to escalate these issues to more senior members in school, if the school doesn’t actually have a formal process (which they actually stand behind and follow) – there will not be a change around these pupils behaviour because there are no (or very limited) consequences to their actions. I think the fact you are into your second year of battling this may demonstrate the schools stance (or lack of) around bullying, but only you are aware of the actions you have taken to date to try and get this resolved to date, and what they have done/not done. Personally, I think it is completely unfair on your DD removing her from this environment that ‘should’ be upholding their duty of care to provide a safe and supportive learning environment, however, if they are unable to do this, I would probably take control, and remove her from the situation to ensure she doesn’t suffer from ongoing issues related to this. If I were you and about to have a meeting around this, I would finding out the following (if you don’t already know) and making a decision now around what you are going to do: - Are the parents of these boys aware of the problems, and have they been called to meetings to address this, and have the students been reprimanded for their behaviour? - Are there actual records documenting each of your complaints against these students? - Apart from the current form teacher (and previous) who else in the school has been made aware of these repeated behaviour, and what has been done? Effectively, if they have not taken your complaints seriously to date (no real documentation or internal escalation process demonstrated) then personally I would remove your daughter from this environment, as they have demonstrated this is not a priority for them. While I appreciate you may want to get this escalated to be addressed, you will be effectively starting from scratch in dealing with this problem if nothing has been done to date. Also, you would need to remember the school has demonstrated (through lack of action) they don’t have a commitment to deal with this behaviour, and if they don’t know how to deal with this, and commit wholeheartedly to getting this situation resolved, unfortunately making a halfhearted attempt by them, may actually cause more harm than good to your daughters situation. I understand that your daughter is happy about all other aspects of the school, so this is extrodinarily tough, but as other posters have mentioned the long-term effect of being emotionally bullied (regardless of age to be honest) can be significant. Sorry if this is repetitive, I wrote this last night but forgot to post, so some of this may have been covered by previous posters overnight/this morning. <em>edited by TanyaR on 15/02/2012</em>
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Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 21:58
Ahhh a topic close to my heart at the moment. Pregnancy No 1 I gained 30kgs (give or take a few hundred grams), I am normally quite light for my height - 57kgs - and during this pregnancy I was travelling a huge amount, I had very, very bad pregnancy sickness (all day and night) had a reasonable amount of stress in my life, and I ate gluten the entire time (I am gluten intolerant). I am afraid I had very little fluid retention - 10 days after giving birth, I had only lost 6kgs .. soo I had to work the rest off. Most of that weight was also (as some others have mentioned) gained in the 1st two trimesters. The OBGYN here never said anything, because I began my pregnancy in the UK, had scans there and NZ, before arriving here to live at 29 weeks - no-one knew how much weight I had gained overall (apart from me) and because I am quite tall, my end weight still wasn't huge. So, pregnancy No 2 (I am now 37 weeks), I was really hoping to be more disciplined, but I have still gained about 20kgs, and this time I have gained quite a bit in this last trimester (not so much in the second trimester). I had one month where I put on 4kgs, and the Doctor gave me a little caution, but because of my leg swelling was so bad, she put it down to fluid retention, and I tried to behave a little more after that. A huge number of OBGYN's here do seem to be very sensitive around weight gain, and I am just 'lucky' mine doesn't make too much of an issue of it. I do think quite a bit of my weight gain has come from eating gluten which my body doesn't process very well, and then just needing to constantly eat to reduce my throwing up. I don't deprive myself of anything I am craving, but I don't eat those things in excessive quantities either (I can easily just have a bite or two of something 'bad' to satisfy a craving rather than eating the whole thing) , and I try not to have much sugar... Try not to be too consumed by the numbers, we all carry differently, so if you know you are eating sensibly, and as long as you aren't having to manage your sugar intake because of gestational diabetes, then just try and enjoy your pregnancy!
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Latest post on 09 February 2012 - 16:21
oh the shameles ad has been deleted.... lol what was it? It was for a company who offered the service of going to McD's to get your food for you and deliver it to you. Does anyone remember what it was called? We were thinking about trying it for a Burger Fuel burger.. Would have been interested to know their fee. Burger Fuel have recently started delivering - so you can call them directly :) - I think they have 3 stores, I am not sure if they ALL deliver, but the JBR one definitely does. McDonalds also deliver in some areas (well they do in ours!)
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Latest post on 09 February 2012 - 11:55
I have just copied and pasted what I put on the PB&T forum below... I think it probably comes down to the trust you have in your OB. Whilst I haven't had either of these issues, I have had friends that have had very bad cases of gestational diabetes, and have had to be delivered early by c-section (and at the 38 week mark - so this doesn't sound outside of usual protocol - but it is completely dependant on how 'bad' your case is, as to how far they will let your pregnancy progress). It is quite common for a baby with a mother suffering from gestational diabetes to be measuring 'large' - it is one of the issues associated with GD. I am only a week ahead of you, and DD was measuring 2.7kgs last week - which is quite a 'solid' weight, for this stage - normal, but a good weight. Another .3kgs may not sound like a lot, but you need to remember that until the 35/36 week mark, you baby isn't actually putting on much weight - this comes in the last few weeks of your pregnancy, so the fact you are already outside of 'normal' ranges could indicate your baby will put on a lot of weight in the next 5 weeks. From this point, 'normal' weight gain is approximately 250grams per week - so you would be looking at a 4.25kg baby - working on the assumption your baby is putting on a 'normal' weight, but with GD they tend to put on more. It also sounds like you have the added complication of excessive amniotic fluid - which can also cause problems for you, resulting in emergency c-sections being performed. I happened to look up the fluid information the other day because I was curious that the OB kept on saying mine was in normal range, so was wondering what would happen if it wasn't... From what I understand, if you have excess fluid there can be problems with the umbilical cord, or you can have problems with your placenta when your waters break - both are serious enough to warrent an emergency c-section, which is why they tend to book a c-section in advance prior to your waters actually breaking to avoid you have any serious health complications. Personally, on the face of it, it does sounds like your OB is weighing up both your complicating factors and giving advice to ensure your safety and the healthy delivery of your baby, but again, it depends on the faith you have in your Doctor. If you are really doubting her sincerity, you could either a) call her office and find out what the fluid measurement is, and do a quick online check of normal ranges - along with the weight measurement that you know; or b) go and get a second opinion just for your comfort, but you will probably want this to be with someone you can 'trust' in case there is conflicting information. I know it is extremely disappointing to have a plan of what you want to happen taken from you (I can imagine if I was told I couldn't have a natural birth this time after having one last time, I would asking a lot of questions), but ultimately, you just want to ensure that both you and your baby are safe. I hope that helps!
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Latest post on 09 February 2012 - 11:42
Oh excellent, I am so relieved to hear that - and good work for going and getting it checked out straight away! Now you can enjoy the next 11 days safe in the knowledge that everything is okay, and get onto baby making straight away! All the very best of luck!
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Latest post on 09 February 2012 - 11:39
I think it probably comes down to the trust you have in your OB. Whilst I haven't had either of these issues, I have had friends that have had very bad cases of gestational diabetes, and have had to be delivered early by c-section (and at the 38 week mark - so this doesn't sound outside of usual protocol - but it is completely dependant on how 'bad' your case is, as to how far they will let your pregnancy progress). It is quite common for a baby with a mother suffering from gestational diabetes to be measuring 'large' - it is one of the issues associated with GD. I am only a week ahead of you, and DD was measuring 2.7kgs last week - which is quite a 'solid' weight, for this stage - normal, but a good weight. Another .3kgs may not sound like a lot, but you need to remember that until the 35/36 week mark, you baby isn't actually putting on much weight - this comes in the last few weeks of your pregnancy, so the fact you are already outside of 'normal' ranges could indicate your baby will put on a lot of weight in the next 5 weeks. From this point, 'normal' weight gain is approximately 250grams per week - so you would be looking at a 4.25kg baby - working on the assumption your baby is putting on a 'normal' weight, but with GD they tend to put on more. It also sounds like you have the added complication of excessive amniotic fluid - which can also cause problems for you, resulting in emergency c-sections being performed. I happened to look up the fluid information the other day because I was curious that the OB kept on saying mine was in normal range, so was wondering what would happen if it wasn't... From what I understand, if you have excess fluid there can be problems with the umbilical cord, or you can have problems with your placenta when your waters break - both are serious enough to warrent an emergency c-section, which is why they tend to book a c-section in advance prior to your waters actually breaking to avoid you have any serious health complications. Personally, on the face of it, it does sounds like your OB is weighing up both your complicating factors and giving advice to ensure your safety and the healthy delivery of your baby, but again, it depends on the faith you have in your Doctor. If you are really doubting her sincerity, you could either a) call her office and find out what the fluid measurement is, and do a quick online check of normal ranges - along with the weight measurement that you know; or b) go and get a second opinion just for your comfort, but you will probably want this to be with someone you can 'trust' in case there is conflicting information. I know it is extremely disappointing to have a plan of what you want to happen taken from you (I can imagine if I was told I couldn't have a natural birth this time after having one last time, I would asking a lot of questions), but ultimately, you just want to ensure that both you and your baby are safe. I hope that helps!
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Latest post on 08 February 2012 - 17:38
I am sorry your first appointment (at what you had expected would be such an exciting one) was such a stressful one. I haven't personally been through this situation, so not sure how much I can help, but I didn't want to not reply. I think essentially the decision whether you try to conceive prior to having your results is a very personal one, and only one that you can answer. Having said that if there is a chance you are pregnant, there are certain medical procedures they won't perform - particularly in the first trimester, so you just need to be mindful of this. I probably wouldn't be thinking of treatment and diagnosis at this point, I would just be thinking about the investigation phase and making sure that you are able to let them perform whatever tests necessary to determine exactly what is going on - without the additional stress of being concerned how this might effect your baby - if you manage to get pregnant first try. That being said, just remember, breasts are naturally lumpy - I have had a number of friends here that have been referred for addtiional testing based on preliminary examinations causing concern, and all of these friends have ultimately been fine (even some that have a significant history of breast cancer in their direct family). That being said, I have also had a number of friends and family that have been diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo treatments ranging from radiotheraphies/chemotherapies and surgeries, so it depends on the diagnosis as to what approach is taken. Unfortunately, not knowing exactly what is going on, is the worst part, and I can imagine that 11 days seems like an eternity at this point. Personally, I would probably try and call the OBGYN's office again and get the appointment shifted earlier, or if you are really concerned and need this dealt with immediately, if possible, I would make arrangements to have the tests completed somewhere else who can do this sooner (assuming you don't have an attachment to the OBGYN you have seen today). I know it is difficult, but just try and remain positive, at this point, you know you have a lump in your breast - it could just be a gland, and given you haven't been examined before, it could be quite normal for you to have this lump. All the very best of luck, keep us posted.
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Latest post on 08 February 2012 - 17:15
Hi Ladies How are we all doing??? We are nearly there! I can't believe this has gone so quickly, I am 36 and a half weeks - saw my OB this morning who said she thinks she is definitely going to come early (there are a few signs - plus DS was early..) Personally, I would like the little monkey to stay tucked up in there for another 4 weeks so she is nice and chubby when she arrives - but we will see I guess! I definitely need her to hold on for another few days, I have a chest infection, so have had to start some antibiotics - given I can't breathe very well, which won't be helpful during labour trying to breathe through contractions. How is everyone else doing??
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Latest post on 08 February 2012 - 17:06
I have to say DC-Diva, I love your attitude and your responses to everyone. Keep it up and hopefully we'll see you in the top 100 entrepreneurs one day! Good luck with your venture Couldn't agree more. I think it is a fantastic initiative, I have a number of friends who expressed while at work, so I do think you will have a customer base - particularly here with such short maternity leave coverage. You never know, I am a very, very short time away from giving birth to number 2, so perhaps I might lose my paranoid controlling ways and try it out! Good luck!
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Latest post on 08 February 2012 - 16:53
I actually think some people may do this here, but I think it would be really difficult to maintain a constant customer base - people tend to only express for a certain period of time, which, if you are thinking of setting this up as an ongoing business idea, you will have to be constantly driving business to the service to keep new customers joining to replace the 'old' ones (of not a very long shelf life) when they drop off. Personally, I exclusively expressed breastmilk for DS for the first 10 months, but I wasn't working - so didnt have to worry about transport issues. Had I been working however, I still wouldn't have used the service (sorry) - just because I am extremely paraniod about this sort of thing. Breast milk was called 'liquid gold' in our household, and was fiercely guarded, my supply was not great at all, and because I wasn't supplimenting with formula at all, we needed every single drop. I never let our liquid gold out of our sight, and even if you have a process/policy for temperature control measures, I wouldn't want the fluctuation between the storage temperature on transit into my own fridge temperature in case it affected the quality. I would stress if my LO got sick that it was from tainted milk. Given the quality of some of the food we receive from takeaway outlets, I just personally wouldn't trust that a courier would invest as much concern over ensuring the storage standards are met - given they promise they have come straight from the store (when they are late with food delivery) and the food is cold and chewy, and that it clearly isn't the case! I do have to say, that I think you probably will find people that are comfortable with it, I am just not sure you will get the volume of continued interest for it to be a viable business option...
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Latest post on 26 January 2012 - 15:51
I exclusively expressed for DS, so should be able to help with your questions, but just quickly, how old is your little one? I don't think you have (from the sound of your post), but have you tried to bottle feed before, and do you have an express machine? Quickly to cover off, I was exclusive express breast feeding, so I used to express both breasts until they were completely empty each time. Once you have the breastmilk, this then needs to either be immediately stored in the fridge or frozen (perhaps just the fridge if you are only doing a small amount for a specific purpose, and it is going to be used soon). To rewarm it, I used to get a bowl of boiling water, and place the bottle into this bowl to bring the milk up to a warm temp (It doesn't take long), I used to lift it out, and swirl the milk around to make sure it was heated through and not cold in the middle of the bottle. It should not be reheated in the microwaved as this kills off some of the nutrients in the milk. If you answer the above questions, I should be able to help out a bit more with volume etc as well.
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Latest post on 25 January 2012 - 12:49
DH has just lost his wedding ring at the end of last week - a large (quite thick) white gold wedding band - very long shot, but our firend park his car in MOE, so if it is like this, I will post my details - just not sure what type of ring it is...
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Latest post on 24 January 2012 - 10:50
Oh Pingu, I hope you get your insurance sorted - that is the last thing you need to be stressing about! I am soooo excited - we were 34 weeks on Saturday - so getting super close! I am into week two of having finished work, DS started nursery (3 mornings a week) this week, and is loving it. I really need to sort out baby clothes, and pull the moses basket, car seat etc out of storage, but I am lacking motivation, and seem to be busy with other things all the time! DH told me I need to pack my hospital bag on Sunday morning (given if we deliver at the same time as DS, we will have a new baby in less than two weeks - eeek!) he told me to ensure that I had a stash of red bull in there for him to get him through the labour - what???? It was hilarious, DS only took about 4 hours - so it wasn't hugely taxing on him! My morning (aka all day) sickness is still causing issues, and for the last 6 weeks I have basically been putting on a kg a week - yikes! I had visions of not putting on the 30kg I put on last pregnancy, but at this rate, I am going to get close .. I guess some of us just carry heavily :( But I refuse to worry about it, I lost it all in the 3-4 months after DS, so whilst I am sure it will take longer with number two - I know what I need to do! How is everyone else???
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Latest post on 23 January 2012 - 00:04
Argh, I feel your pain! I was told at my 26 week check up (I think it was), that my swelling was like that of someone at 37weeks! Agree with the below, increasing water, reduce salty foods, also try and keep mobile as much as possible, sitting or standing for long periods of time is not good for you. I always sleep with my legs and feet elevated on pillows during the night as well. Good luck! I hope it gets better and isn't too uncomfortable!
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 23:57
Liv Have you had a visit at Medcare (it sounds like your Doctor isn't actually based out of there) Perhaps doing this might appease your concerns. I have said many times on this topic, just remember everyones expectations are different, so what someone considers to be an excellent experience, will be someone elses worst nightmare, so I would be a little hesitant in making a decision based on comments on a forum (with people you don't know). I think you need to have a list of the things that you want or know that you need, and either check with your doctor, and do a visit with Medcare directly and ask during that time. I gave birth at Medcare to DS (2 years ago now though), and my experience was absolutely fine, I am very low maintenance to be honest, so didn't really want their assistance at all, but they did check in regularly, and would have given assistance had I needed it. I am going to be giving birth there again in a few weeks, and I am quite comfortable with returning there based on my experience, and that of a few of my friends that have also been very happy there. Good luck with your decision.
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 23:46
We started DS (now 2) at 6 months (pretty much to the day) and started on good sized sticks of vegetables/fruits for the first few weeks, and then moved onto meats. Having said this, BLW is a little disheartening to start with in that they don't guzzle down huge amounts of food to start with, they just explore, suck, chew, spit out and throw .. it really is quite hilarious, and VERY messy. It isn't for every child, but it has worked so, so well for DS, he has such a healthy attitude towards food now. He has never, ever been fussy, don't get me wrong, of the 5-6 choices he has on his plate at each meal, he has 'just' started wanting to eat just 3 things that are on his plate at certain mealtimes, but he still wants the other things at other meals, so he isn't going 'off ' anything ... famous last words! If she is chewing things up all the time, she could just be starting to break some teeth in?
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 23:24
I was sitting at my OBGYN appointment this morning, and DH leaned over and said he thought it was time I packed the hospital bag, and could I make sure I included some red bull for him to get [b'>him[/b'> through the labour??? I have to admit it was hilarious - my last labour only lasted about 4 hours - so it wasn't particularly taxing on him, so goodness knows what he is expecting this time! But to add to your list - and you may have it, and was only interested in suggestions for 'you' .. but my baby list (I like to be self sufficient) baby clothes (particularly if due soon given the cold snap we are experiencing), I took all my own nappies as well (although they do tend to supply these), cotton balls and a bowl for holding warm water (nappy changes), muslin cloths, swaddling blankets, baby towels. Their first toy (which I typically buy and have 1st photo's with), carseat. Nipple cream, tens machine (if you are using one), contact details for family and friends (if you don't have these in your phone). Definitely the camera - and a laptop, and connecting cords so you can upload photo's and send them out if you want to do this while still in hospital. For the labour, drinks - if you want anything special (even a little chilli bin if you need them cold), chocolate, sweets or snacks that you like. Obviously, the hospital will give you meals (or you can order in), but I like to make sure I have some things that I like at hand. DH didn't want to leave us, so I didn't want him having to do runs for things either, so we literally had everything we needed last time when we left to go to hospital. HTH ETA: I used all of the above, along quite of bit of the other bits mentioned by other posters! <em>edited by TanyaR on 22/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 12:05
I have been giving my 2 year old daughter a spoonful occassionally(especially if sick) and she often asks for more. How much do you think is too much? I looked into this a few weeks ago now - although to be honest for me as I am pregnant and had a bit of a cold, so was drinking lemon, honey and ginger drinks. Anyway, after a quick research I found the recommendation seemed to be no more than 10 teaspoons (50mls) a day - given it is very high in sugar. They didn't seem to differentiate between adults and children - again, this was a very quick search, so someone else may have other information! The only absolute 'no-no' is that honey should never been given to a child under the age of 1 years old.
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Latest post on 19 January 2012 - 20:16
I think this might be the company that Holly referred to, we used them when DS was born and it was very good. They might have more info on their website as well (re: requirements) but I just haven't had a chance to look. HTH http://www.babystepsdubai.com/
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Latest post on 19 January 2012 - 13:12
Green-ish I am so, so sorry about your loss, I am shedding some tears for your precious little angel, and what your family is currently going through. You have provided such wonderful advice and support to others here, so please let us know if you need anything. Tanya
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 17:36
The first few weeks are so, so tough - I completely sympathise, and it is difficult to say what is happening from a post, but from what you have said, these are my thoughts.... I think in your first couple of weeks, there are lots of nappy changes, so the 4-5 a day is quite normal in the beginning - and I wouldn't necessarily say the reduction in her frequency of dirty nappies is due to the change from breastmilk to formula, it is just her body functions regulating. Breastfed babies actually produce less poo nappies, because breastmilk is a far more effecient nutritionally, and therefore far less waste is generated and therefore less nappies. So my DS (100% express breastmilk) only had a poo nappy every 3-4 days when he was a baby, and this was completely normal for him - he was not demonstrating any signs of discomfort when he was trying to go the toilet, so wasn't constipated. I think people seem to worry that if they are not going once a day, this is definitely constipation, and this isn't the case in a small baby. So, it may not be that she is both constipated and struggling with wind (although she could be) She should be quite a windy baby, which does happen with bottle fed babies because of the air in the bottle, which clearly you don't have when they are drinking from a breast. DS was bottle fed - although 100% expressed breastmilk for the first 9-10months, and therefore in the beginning, it became quite an artform establishing how to best burp him. He didn't need to just burp once, he needed several burps. He had positions that worked best for him, sitting up on my knee, with my hand on his chest and rubbing his back did not work, propping him up on my shoulder did, tiger in a tree (you will need to google a picture for that one!) worked sometimes as well. RE: the expressing, it is really, really hard (and very timeconsuming) work. Your body produces as much breastmilk as you need for your baby, in order to trigger the production of milk (and for your body to know how much you need), your have to get rid of it (either through the baby drinking it directly - the most effecient method) or through an expressing machine. If you don't use it, your body doesn't produce it, which is why you are only getting 50mls a time. I can't remember how much I was expressing at 6 weeks, but my 'guess' would be I would have been expressing around 8 times day (at regular intervals) for between 45 mins to an hour each time (even during the night) to ensure I was producing enough milk for DS. Once you start subsituting in formula, your body starts producing less because you aren't using what it is producing... Unless you start to increase the frequency and duration of your expressing, it will continue to deplete until it stops completely. There is no right or wrong as to whether you continue expressing, but hopefully that gives you a guideline of what you need to be doing if you are expressing. At 6 weeks, I would probably have someone to come and see you and assess exactly what is going on to give you some peace of mind. I didn't do this with DS, and really regret that I struggled along on my own trying to guess what is going on... I am pregnant and about to have No 2, so I will definitely be getting in touch with someone if I have any issues. One of the people that is regularly recommended on here is Cecile de Scaly (I think that is her name) - I have had a few friends use her and say she is very good, and this is who I will be contacting if I have any issues. Your paed is great for any medical issues, but when it comes to these types of 'behaviour/comfort/routine' issues, I would suggest someone like Cecile to come to your home (I think she does visits) to sit down and talk with you, and go through what is and isn't working, it could be quite a simple technique that she can show you or suggest, that will reduce you having to use infacol, gripe water or change your formula. I am sure others will have suggestions, but, it does get better, I know it seems really hard at the moment, but it will pass! <em>edited by TanyaR on 18/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 16:59
For my first pregnancy I used just the cocoa butter stretch mark cream as soon as I found out I conceived with DS, and ended up with 4 small stretch marks appearing AFTER I gave birth - pffft (they are now not visible). I am now 33 weeks with No 2, and have used a mix (literally I mix up a blob of cocoa butter, and squirt of bio oil in the palm of my hand) and rub that all over my belly, boobs, and butt, twice a day - no stretch marks as of yet.. but I am sure with my luck I will get another set after I give birth... While I know people say they are quite expensive, I think I have used 2-3 tubes of cocoa butter so far, and I am halfway through my second bottle of bio oil .. not to bad considering I have been using it for twice a day for about 30 weeks... HTH
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 15:22
Oh no, how stressful! There are lots of bugs going around at the moment (aren't there always here!!). DS has the snotty nose, and husky voice one, and a low grade fever, and a few friends have had the vomiting and diahhroea one - all seem to drag on for a while, and just when you think they are gone, re-appear again. Can I ask when you last took your DD to the Doctor? My rule of thumb with my paed is that anything beyond 3-4 days with no improvement, even if a 'controllable' fever by drugs, and DS should be seen again, as clearly he is not shaking whatever is attacking his system, so we need to check it isn't anything else of major concern. 41 is an [u'>extremely[/u'> high temperature, and with not taking any food with that high a temperature for 4 days, I would be a little worried about her being dehydrated - even if she is still having water and apple juice. Is she still going to the toilet (urine) regularly?
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 14:33
Not confusing at all, TanyaR, thanks so much! My next question is... to take her temp we use a thermometer that goes into her bottom. Are the thermometers that take temps in their ears just as accurate? Yes, and much easier for obsessing over the temperature. I mean, quickly checking every so often :) Great! Thanks so much, I'd much prefer to use the ear one as its so much easier! ;) My kids wll tell you that, if there is a slightest hint of a fever, I've got that thing in their ears constantly! So pleased I am not the only one!!! Am I obsessive?!?!?! Well, DS knows how to take his own... given he has only been the doctor 2 times for being unwell enough to warrant it .. although the paed has received a few more texts than that!!
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 13:18
Hi Shellly It does depend on the child a little bit, what their 'normal' temp is, and what other symptoms they are experiencing as well. DS's (2yrs) usual temp is 36.5 (I know this can vary a little in children). Up until 38 - I don't usually give him anything or worry too much, once he gets over the 38 mark, I regularly check (probably every 30 mins or so), by 38.5 I usually give him something, if it continued to climb after this and over the 39 mark, I would text his paed, and get advice. If he has a sore throat or cough, I know the cause, it is usually a viral infection, I am quite happy to keep him at home, give him his paracetamol suppository (he won't take oral pain relievers), and I just ensure he is still drinking (and has good urine output to go along with it). If he does have a cough, and it is green, and not clear running mucous, again I would take him to the paed, it is likely to be a bacterial infection that may require antibiotics. Basically if they have a temperature (but not to the extreme of the high 39's) for more than 3 days, I would take him in, even if we thought it was just a viral infection to be safe. Any sort of temperature accompanied with a rash, and I would take him straight away. Vomitting and diahhroea is something else I would get seen to very quickly (for concerns with dehydration)... HTH and isn't too confusing!
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 22:29
Congratulations on your pregnancy! 12 weeks is one of the those lovely milestones we all like to get over! So, we are with Medcare - I am just over 33 weeks - we had our first child there about 2 years ago, and it was fine. I didn't actually arrive in Dubai until 29 weeks, so didn't do the full package with them for that birth, but this time I have been with them since day one. Fingers crossed you have had a bit of a look at the hospital and its facilities and have met with your OB/GYN to ensure they are the type of 'person' you are looking for. You will get mixed reviews on all of the hospitals on here, so it is very much about making sure that your expectations match what they deliver. Can I just suggest - if you are going to radiology to have your 12 week scan (I am pretty sure you will be) - please check with the receptionists when you arrive, as to how long your wait will be. I have had to complain in the past, having booked the first available appointment of the day, only to have to wait over 2 hours, with no communication, and no sense urgency from the staff, nor did any of them think it was necessary to say there will be a delay from the outset. I now check everytime so I have an idea of how long I will have to wait - I have no issues waiting at all - emergencies happen, but I want to have an approximate time of how long the wait will be, so I can go away and come back if necessary. You dont want (what should be an exciting experience for you) to be tainted by the frustration of a long wait and not being prepared for it. Anyway, good luck, only you can really decide what hospital and package will work for you and your specific needs (sorry not very helpful!) but everyone is so different, it really is a personal decision. Have fun and enjoy seeing your baby!
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 22:06
haha People keep on saying to me, 'bet you wish you could just have the baby now' ... errrrr no, I am hoping she will hang in there to 42 weeks thanks!! I have it great at the moment, just one (very spirited DS), and the other is fully taken care of, without me having to lift a finger or do anything special at all - I can't leave her anywhere, forget to do something for her, and (of course) I don't have to juggle both hers and DS's needs at the one time... Besides, DS was far too small when he arrived.. I would love a chubby and more robust baby this time around -so she can keep on cooking for a while yet!! I was actually thinking the other day, I wish someone had told me to really embrace those spontaneous moments you can have when you are pregnant for the first time and have no children - you know, going to dinner or a movie whenever you want to, or jumping on a plane or in the car to go away for a weekend. I have been trying to think if there are any things we should be taking advantage of over the next few weeks that we can do with one child, that we won't be able to do with two.... apart from the obvious one-on-one time with DS.... I don't want to realise more missed opportunities after she has arrived! Sorry.. I have wandered off onto another topic entirely!
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 21:39
(has the font just changed on EW??) TanyaR - wow, that has been quick, wishing you all the VERY best and let us know if you need anything (we are missing you you know where ;) ) - hope all is well with you and all the best!! bm.x Thanks! You are telling me - so, so quickly - coming up to 34 weeks, and given DS delivered at 36, I feel the clock is ticking! And apologies I will resurrect myself shortly! Have been largely MIA with working full time (very long hours), having the teenager issues for 3 months, being preggers, and moving villas. Anyway, I have just finished working .. so will resume my forum duties! xxx
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 21:33
Hi NinaSimone I 'think' we have had the same problem with DS (he is just about to turn 2) from what you are describing, it was "diagnosed" about the same time, and we had x-rays to check exactly what was going on. I came away from my visit with our paed completely clueless, not his fault at all, but mine because I had been so shocked/surprised - and he wasn't demonstrating any major concern, that I didn't ask any questions and just smiled and nodded... I did post the question on here at the time to see if others had experienced anything similar and I am afraid got no responses, but this was 20 months ago - so others may have experiences to share now. I hope this is useful, and not too confusing - but most importantly, don't panic (I googled - big mistake) there are varying degrees of severity, so I would definitely wait to hear the determination from your neurosurgeon prior to finding out too much, which can cause a bit of stress. Anyway (if it is the same thing) DS has (partially) prematurely fused skull - which means the plates that form the make up of the skull that are supposed to be fully fused by the time children are 3-4 (I think) began to fuse really early. In the case of our son his fontenelle (the hole you are describing) was almost completely shut at about 4.5 months, and the frontal two plates had fully fused closed - his back plates had not. So.... what does this mean?? By the time DS was 4 months - he had a slight ridge that ran up the centre of his forehead (the fused plates join is exaggerated) - this is how they can usually tell this has happened as it is visually apparent, coupled with the lack of spongey fontenelle to press. DS's head also measured a bit small (to be honest, not that it at all looked disproportionate at all to the rest of his body, but still small on the 'scale of averages'), so that while he sat in the 90th percentiles for every other scale, he was in the 10 - 15% for head size. Also if you took a 'birds eye view' on DS's head, his forehead had a slight triangular shape. All in all for DS, his case is very mild, and it just continues to get monitored at each paed visit with head measurements, I did start taking 'birds eye view' pictures of his head when we first found out, but to be honest stopped at about 10 - 12 months, because there wasn't too much of a difference, and the 'triangulation' wasn't becoming anymore prominant. He still has the ridge on his forehead, which people only notice if I point it out, and the only impact seems to be on the rare occasion when he bumps his head, because this ridge sits out probably 3-4mm from the rest of his forehead, the bruises seem to be in exactly the same place on the ridge. My paed has said that by the time he is 4ish, the ridge should naturally flatten out normally, but to be honest, if it didn't it certainly isn't something I am concerned about - and trust me, if I thought it made him look 'different' I would absolutely take the necessary measures to have this corrected. Now, I did a lot of research at the time, and I do think only time will tell over the coming months as to exactly what you are dealing with, unless it is determined that things are already fully fused, and intervention will be required. Absolute worse case scenario's would be a neurosurgeon needing to operate to put space between the plates to ensure the brain can grown correctly, without adding undue pressure on the skull. Alternatively, if intervention wasn't required for 'medical' reason's, cosmetically you may chose for your DS to have an operation to reduce the visual effect of the head being mis-shapen from the triangulation caused due to the plates fusing. Sooo.. again, I am not 100% if this is exactly what is happening with your DS, if so, honestly, try not to worry or panic at this point, regardless of the severity of the case, it is treatable - and also it is quite a common occurance for the skull to fuse prematurely (at least partially). If I have completely misunderstood your post, and this is not what is happening - apologies, but now you know more about prematurely fusing skulls!! Anyway, I hope this helps, and isn't too confusing!
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 15:04
Sorry DC, I can't help at all, but I am watching this thread very closely.... I remember that even though I only had the one to run around after first time around that I kept on missing his sleep signals - in fact, I am embarassed to recall, it took me about 4-5 weeks to realise that I had to actually physically put him down for a nap, and that he wouldn't just drop off wherever we were if he was tired! Am about to have DD, and DS is just about to turn 2 - so definitely in need of the tips as well! But I am definitely hoping it 'stablise' well before DD is 2 otherwise I might go mad!
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 14:56
I remember LOVING this as a kid, which is why a few months ago (during a pregnancy craving) when I saw some on the shelf at park and shop, Al Wasl Road, I snapped up a packet, and we had it as a side with our dinner that evening - so they definitely have it in Dubai! I am not sure if they did the microwave singles, but there were a few different types, so you should be able to find something that works for you. I make probably 90% of all our meals from scratch (including mac cheese) but there is absolutely no reason why you can't have these sorts of things in moderation - particularly if they are a little reminder of home! Enjoy!
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Latest post on 16 January 2012 - 20:52
Couldn't agree more... I often wonder how many cases there have been of things we are told to avoid, I too have never heard of any cases with OJ, yet there was a massive outbreak of listeria causing a few dozen deaths in the US with rockmelon at the end of 2011 .. but we aren't told to avoid that! Too much information is a bad thing sometimes!
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Latest post on 16 January 2012 - 20:22
Unfortunately, yes, you should only drink juices that are pasteurized (some fresh juices are "flash" pasteurized, I am pretty sure Starbucks are actually) to kill the posibility of salmonella, listeria, toxoplasmosis and E coli. Either this, or you can juice your own orange juice, and make sure you are cleaning the outside thoroughly (if you are juicing with the rind still attached). There are so many do's and dont's during pregnancy. I tend to do a bit of research and then make an informed decision as to what I feel the risk is, having said this, I do tend to be very cautious, considering it is only for such a short period of time, and I couldn't stand the guilt if I did knowingly do something to risk the health of my baby, and was unlucky enough to have take something that did cause a problem. You are talking such a small percentage that do have issues, but still a risk you would rather be aware of.... HTH
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Latest post on 16 January 2012 - 15:28
I think from your post, you haven't been in touch with them, and perhaps have just heard of them, so my response is based on that. I would recommend you contact them directly and have a consultation, and get your child evaluated to see if they think they can help you address the concerns you have (I think the initial consult/evaluation is somewhere in the vacinity of 250 or 300aed - but not 100% positive about that). They are very upfront and honest about their service, what they can and can't do, and if they can help you or not. They also provide lots of information to show the average results they have in the areas being addressed. I did a significant amount of research prior to engaging them, as I hadn't heard of them and wasn't sure. As desertdoc says, yes it is pricey, and a time committment (you are effectively re-wiring the brain to process things in a more organised manner, so this has to be trained through consistent repetition), but the results seem to speak for themselves. Unfortunately, the teenager did not complete the course that we were putting through (they left Dubai), but in the 5 weeks he was attending, his school here noticed a HUGE improvement in his performace (he had been told he would not be offered a place in school for the next year, and they changed their minds and said they wanted him to stay). Also, the school he returned that he had attended before he left NZ, said he was a completely different child that had left them. Now this wasn't 100% because of the B&L (we were doing considerable other work with him), but I truly believe it was a significant part of it, and would have loved to seen the final results if he had actually completed the course. HTH
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Latest post on 16 January 2012 - 15:04
Was sooo hesitant to open this thread as I didn't want another craving! But.. at 33 weeks, I already have the ice cream one - very strange given I never usually eat the stuff! To be honest, I have never seen a recommendation to not eat the hard packed ice cream - yes, 'some' recommend that soft serve cones are a no-go area because of the way it is stored (but even then this is debated amongst medical specialist), but there is nothing that I have been able to find on the 'regular' ice cream. Having said that, storage here in Dubai is questionable - but, as long as the ice cream you buy is made from pasturised milk, and doesn't seem to have melted and been refrozen, I wouldn't be concerned. I just buy my Haagen Daas from Waitrose, and have never been concerned about its storage, no icicles, no refrozen 'pool tracks' in the ice cream. But (my little disclaimer) I have only brought two little tubs in the last 2 weeks, because, as I say, I am not a regular consumer of it... until recently... damn cravings, and I wonder why I am putting on so much weight?!?!?! But that is a whole other thread. <em>edited by TanyaR on 16/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 13 January 2012 - 00:14
Wow! I can't believe it is getting so close! It sounds like everyone is getting things sorted and arranged - it is so exciting! We are 33 weeks this Saturday, my OBGYN told me my varicose veins / swelling (at about 28 weeks) was like I am 37 weeks - so they are a little tender - and very swollen! My morning sickness has returned with a vengance in the last 2 weeks - originally I thought it was motion sickness from a car drive, but given its regularity and not coinciding with any car outings it is clearly the dreaded morning sickness. I have to say I can't complain, I had it very, very badly last pregnancy, so I am pleased that I actually had a couple of months without it this time! Plus I have just finished working (yay), so don't have that to worry about. I have completely taken advantage of all the sales over the last week, and I think I nearly brought the 1st 2 years of baby clothes for this little tyke! I get annoyed paying inflated full prices, so tend to stock up in advance. Our first child was a boy, and this time we are having a girl, so she is largely needing a full new set of clothes. Other than clothes, we have everything from first time around, so I just need to pull it all out of storage. Super excited! I seriously can't believe it is coming up so quickly! They will be here before we know it!!
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Latest post on 11 January 2012 - 13:25
We used two of them the other day - It was either the 2nd or 3rd Jan. We needed 5 tickets altogether, so they gave us 3 paid tickets that would work in the turnstile, and then two tickets that we had to show to the guard to be let through the side gate. HTH
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Latest post on 11 January 2012 - 13:21
I saw one packet (there may have been another one under it) when I went into milk and honey on the Palm on Monday night... so they *might* still be there. There was still lots of violet crumble, and also one packet of marshmellows... Good luck!
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Latest post on 03 January 2012 - 08:29
Agree with the others. We took our parents (who are visiting from NZ) on Sunday, and I nearly didn't go because I usually get upset at the animals being stuck in such small spaces and pacing around in frustration. While some of the enclosures are a little too small for my liking, the animals are really in beautiful condition, and obviously well looked after, and not showing any signs of stress that I could see (that I have seen in most other zoo's I have been too). If you are taking visitors, we took them for a drive up the Hatta Hill behind the zoo just before sunset so they could have a good view during the daytime, then we had a cup of tea at the mercure hotel (not the nicest hotel but gave us a little break, and time to get nice and dark before we came back to Dubai) and drove back down the hill when it was dark - the views were stunning. HTH
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Latest post on 19 December 2011 - 22:56
You don't mention about the basis of your own visa, so just in case, in order for you to sponsor the maid, your visa would need to be independant of your husband - i.e. your visa is with your employer, not that your husband is your sponsor. RE: the 2nd question, I am not sure on this, but at a minimum you would expect to pay daily fines.
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Latest post on 16 December 2011 - 13:28
I would probably get it coming out of the UK - both for price, and for the quality. I have had quite a few bottles that have been oxidised because (I presume) they haven't stored correctly in Dubai in the storerooms - so they taste quite rancid if you are fussy like me! Obviously, the storage temperature needs to be low, and I am guessing they don't always do this here - hence the quality issues I have had on occassion. Having said that, we came back in on Wednesday, and I did stock up buy a pile of Moet and Tattinger and looked at the Bollinger. Terribly I didn't pay too much attention to the prices, but from recollection, the Moet Brut was around 145aed, the imperial Rose was about 165aed, and I think the Tattinger was around the 160 - 170aed mark, the Bollinger was about 180aed. I can't find the reciept at the moment, as I gave it to DH, but if I do get it, I will update with the exact prices... HTH
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Latest post on 16 December 2011 - 00:07
I completely sympathise with you - this is a regular topic in our household. As some of the others mention, it is a completely personal decision in which you need to determine what is right for you, your family, and your children depending on the stage they are at. I am happy to share what has "worked" for us, and my thought process around it, but obviously this suited our 'needs'. Like you at the moment, I don't have to work, but once DS turned approximately 1, I decided I was comfortable with leaving him in the care of someone else (that he was at an age that he could communicate he was happy or unhappy in someone elses care), and that I would return to work, either part time, or in a relatively operational role, that would keep my skills current in the market, yet not be quite as demanding as my 'normal' job would have been. I wanted to return to work because I have always been career orientated (moreso than my husband until having children), as I said above that I wanted to keep my skills fresh in my field of expertise, and I really felt (rightly or wrongly) that I would personally be a better mother, and more focused on quality time with DS if I wasn't around 24/7. I have been contracting for 6 months now (and due to finish shortly with baby No 2 on the way), and I definitely feel like all my time is absolutely focused on DS when I am at home, and enjoying him and our time together, but do feel like we just 'exist' during the weekdays, as it is dinner, play, bath, bed for DS, then we collapse from being so tired! I definitely have times when I regret I am working, when DS has a '1st' I am missing out on, or is unwell, and I just want to cuddle him all day, or when I think developmentally it is the time I should be around for speech development etc.. However, overall, I think my working is the right decision for us, and I am likely to return to work once No.2 is a year or so old as well. I personally feel it is about the stages that your children are at, and the type of time you spend with them. If your role is so taxing, you are not getting quality one-on-one time with your children, you may want to re-evaluate if this is what you want to get from you working. But if you feel the quality of interaction is still there, there is no reason why you can't work as well - remember most children do have both parents working, many cannot afford to live solely off one income. My personal perspective is whilst we could afford for me to not work, given the current market fluctuations, if my husband was made redundant or had something happen that made him unable to work, I would need to be able to re-enter the workforce, which is clearly easier to do when your skills are current. I appreciate that you daughter has said she is missing mummy, and that you feel tremendous guilt over this, and whilst I am sure she does, but... I would probably try and make 100% sure this is the problem, just in case it isn't. I am not saying this is the case, but often if people see something is wrong in children, they will ask different scenarios of what could possibly be wrong 'are you missing mummy' 'are you not feeling well' and the child will attach the thing they are 'supposed' (i.e. That they are being told they are not behaving 'normally') to be feeling to one of the suggestions made to them. And all of sudden, they are feeling down because they are told they are acting this way, and this is the reason why... Anyway, again it may be that she is really missing you, but if she is consistently demonstrating this emotion, there might be more to it - or nothing to it at all.- at least there wasn't until someone said there was a problem to her! I am not sure if that helps at all, but good luck in your decision. Whatever you decide, it will be right for you and your family. <em>edited by TanyaR on 16/12/2011</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 December 2011 - 22:37
Ohhh! I completely feel for you, this is an absolute hot topic in our household at the moment - and I am of completely the same school of thought - there is absolutely no smacking in our household (actually funnily enough it is illegal to smack a child in our home country NZ!) We are also a no yelling or shouting household. From memory our DS's are similar ages (mine is 22months) - but I am fortunate than our no 2 is still 'cooking' - so I am not juggling no. 2 for a couple more months. I am actually working at the moment, so not around DS all the time, so I have had to provide instruction with our Nanny on how to manage his behaviours. I know I am doing this when I am around him, but I can't say with absolute certainty that it is happening 100% of the time. I am not sure I am quite in the position to comment (and people who know me on here might come on and laugh at me!!) but here we go! To be honest this has really only recently become a problem, and so I am now trying to put in place tactics of how to deal with this. DS has a couple of older (by between 3-6 months) friends who are quite rough, and push, hit, put in headlocks etc all the time, some of the parents think it is funny, laugh and clap (not kidding unfortunately) and others are desparately trying to stop the behaviour as well. Our DS socialises with these children at least once a day, and has come home with scratches, bruises and bite marks, so it is a problem, and recently DS has taken to retaliating, which isn't acceptable - which is clearly your viewpoint as well. although some parents scarily tell their kids to pay back to make it even..... not my method of parenting!! We haven't tried the naughty chair or corner yet, because (to be honest) I don't think he is old enough to understand what it means - I think we are still a couple of months away. So we are working to following school of thought: 1) Absolute consistency, every time we see something we don't want him doing, we deal with the behaviour, we don't let it slide. They can't judge when it is acceptable and not acceptable to do things, so if they sometimes get pulled up, and not others, it is confusing, and eradicates all the hard work done previously. This is very difficult for you at the moment to be honest when you have a little DD to be looking after too! 2) We just use very firm 'no's' - I lower my voice and say it very firmly. I physically remove him from the situation, get down to his level (not that easy at the moment with a fat belly!!) and tell him no, that he can't do that, that he needs to be gentle with XXX - I use the words I know he understands - so no, need to be gentle etc I also tell him we have to stop playing if he isn't a good boy - and I mean it, if he continued doing it, I would just end the play date. I tell him to go and say sorry, and give them a kiss/cuddle. 3) We 'try' to ensure all the kids are pulled up for the same behaviour when they are together, obviously this is a bit difficult when some parents/caregivers think it is funny - which means it tends to be myself and one other mother hauling the kids off each other... In our house with the Christmas tree, it has been a no touch zone, and I was really firm about this from the outset (it has only been up for 3 days now) but DS has been very, very good. He wanted to touch it to start with, I said very firmly 'no', gave him a decoration of his choice that he could play with from the tree - and told him only for looking, no touching. It is the same rules for the rest of the kids that come around, because I can't expect DS to not touch it, and let the other kids touch it because they are visitors. Kids don't understand there are different rules for different people. As I said, we are just starting down this route, and I am at work for the next 3 weeks, so I can only ensure I am doing this when I am home, I am lucky to have a Nanny who agrees with approach on this situation, but I think she finds it uncomfortable when she is in playgroups with no parents present that the others just giggle and think the fighting is funny with the children they are looking after. Fortunately, there is usually one Mummy who is at a lot of the play dates, who knows (and has the same mentality of how to deal with these things) so she helps manage these situations - even though her DD is an absolute angel and never involved in any of the aggressive behaviour - although the victim at times :( Not sure if that helps, and possibly all things you have heard before! But this is our school of thought at the moment - he is doing okay with it, and his behaviour definitely isn't getting worse.
319
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 December 2011 - 11:28
I think Simpleasabc used to live there - am sure she can give you some great feed back. Oh yes thanks! Fingers crossed she can give me some good restaurant recommendations too!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 December 2011 - 11:10
Hi Ladies I am off to Geneva for a long weekend, and I am looking for any suggestions/recommendations for activities to do while I am there (aside from wrapping up warm of course!). We will be based in the central city, and I have a 22 month old toddler and in my 3rd trimester (if that makes any difference!)   Any thoughts welcome!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 28 November 2011 - 22:54
Congratulations! All the very, very best for your recovery and getting to know you new little bundle. Take care, and enjoy you babymoon!
319
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 November 2011 - 12:04
Hi Happy Tulip We LOVE it. We have just managed to secure a 3 bed (there are long waiting lists - we waited nearly a year) having been in a 2 bed here for 2 years. We were literally a week or two away from moving out before we we managed to secure one (I am pregnant and we already had a toddler, and unexpected teenager crammed in). I looked at other areas during this time and I just couldn't find anything that I liked as much, even though price wise I think we pay over the market. The location works well for us, I work near Dubai Mall (10-15 min drive) and DH works in Abu Dhabi - about an hour and 15 mins from home. I find maintenance great, it is 24 hours, so any emergencies and they respond - if the aircon breaks it is usually fixed same day - it is all part of your rental - except for lightbulbs which I think are 15aed each, and probably if you did any damage. The villa's themselves have been here for 8 years or so I think, so they certainly aren't the newest or most styley around, but they are well built, and well maintained, as long as you tell the maintenance team what needs fixing. Security is really good - they don't just let anyone in, even the expat wave doesn't work, they walk the grounds all the time, and are very nice. The facilities are great, just the one pool, but it very well maintained, and is cooled in the summer and warmed in the winter, there is always one person watching the pool to make sure everyone is behaving (kids get told off if they are being dangerous - if the parents are there or not) my husband even got told off for having a glass bottle of water near the pool. The fitness room is good - have to be honest and say I very rarely venture there :) but the machines are of a good quality. I suppose all the above aside, the biggest thing for me is the community feel, and how good it is for the kids. We have a toddler (22months) who has playgroups twice a day in the compound with all the other little kids - either in one of the houses, in the clubhouse, or in one of the outside play areas. I am due to have our second child in very early March, and there are other new babies, and some due around the same time, so again, we will be lucky enough to have another little group of people in the same stage to spend time with. The youngs kids and teenagers all seem to get on really well, we had a teenager living with us for about 3 months, and he would get asked by the others in the compound to do things, so they are pretty welcoming. Wellington is just around the corner, but ours ended up going to JC for this time, I drove for a while (while I wasn't working) but then he took the bus. It was quite a trek to JC, (about 20-25 mins on Al Wasl) - but I suppose it depends on which school you are looking at. The only negatives I can think of, is that the compound have gardeners that you pay a monthly fee to look after your outside areas (clean you car etc) .. our experience in the last couple of months has not be great (different garderner to the one we used in the smaller villa), and we seem to constantly speaking to them about the dead grass. The other problem is there is a mosque directly across the road, I actually love the call to prayer - however, they have recently installed a new speaker, and sometimes they turn the volume up, and it is VERY loud - the only time I find it annoying is at 5 in the morning if it wakes me up with a fright and then I often can't get back to sleep. Otherwise, we love the place, and have had a few groups of friends move in here since we have been here, because they love it as well. Sorry, very longwinded - but hope that helps. Let me know if there is anything else you need to know. I know there are others from here on here, so they may have other thoughts....