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ewmoda

Siblings constantly fight - 2 yrs old boy & 5 yrs old girl

80

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 March 2011 - 16:33

I need advice as I am unable to handle the fighting anymore, it is getting super annoying. My 2 yrs old boy always fights with his elder sister. He snatches her toys, pulls her hair, pushes her and always gets into fights with her.

She does not fight back, but she is very upset when this happens. I tried seperating them, but he keeps running back to her room despite me putting him in time - out (he still doesn't get what time out is). I am also tired of sitting with them all the time while they are playing to monitor the situation.

Help, what can I do to resolve this?

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596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 26 March 2011 - 13:29

Put your 4 year old in a bedroom to play , the 2 year old needs watching so keep him/her with you. Have been pulling my 4 and 2 year olds apart all morning as they've been squabbling. It does drive you nuts. DD (4) is at the age when she is very bossy of her little brother and tries to tell him off if he does something he shouldn't, which winds him up. He now is lashing out in retaliation which always ends in tears on both sides and sometime me through frustration. They do play nicely together say 50-60% of the time. I think it's their age. DS is now coming into his own personality and I think DD is finding that difficult as she's been used a baby and now there's this little boy saying 'no' and trying to pull her hair when she gets cross with him. I suppose it's typical sibling rivalry. There is almost 6 years between my brother and I and we were just the same! Love each other to bits now.

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 26 March 2011 - 13:26

Interesting read , as many familes have had children share rooms in days gone by, having your own room is something small families may have done in the past 40- 50 year in some countries. Many would have even thought they could have a bedroom of their own and had to learn to share and live with one another. Why do so many people when they get older fall out with siblings ? So many people say they have fallen out with their only brother or sister as familes get smaller and smaller over time and usually about money or belongings of their parents. Agree children may need to do different activities and having read a thread weeks ago about birthday parties, don't take your younger one to the older ones friends parties as that will def cause problems and resentment at some point and children do not learn to survive without their sibling. sounds like me and my sister when we were little ... to be honest, unless my parent really missed something, the solution is to wait until they get 25+ and start truly love and help eachother... i always blamed it on not having separate room from my sister. so maybe have them to attend separate activities and get separate friends, if they still fight when at school age.

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 26 March 2011 - 13:26

Interesting read , as many familes have had children share rooms in days gone by, having your own room is something small families may have done in the past 40- 50 year in some countries. Many would have even thought they could have a bedroom of their own and had to learn to share and live with one another. Why do so many people when they get older fall out with siblings ? So many people say they have fallen out with their only brother or sister as familes get smaller and smaller over time and usually about money or belongings of their parents. Agree children may need to do different activities and having read a thread weeks ago about birthday parties, don't take your younger one to the older ones friends parties as that will def cause problems and resentment at some point and children do not learn to survive without their sibling. sounds like me and my sister when we were little ... to be honest, unless my parent really missed something, the solution is to wait until they get 25+ and start truly love and help eachother... i always blamed it on not having separate room from my sister. so maybe have them to attend separate activities and get separate friends, if they still fight when at school age.

506

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 26 March 2011 - 12:24

Have been pulling my 4 and 2 year olds apart all morning as they've been squabbling. It does drive you nuts. DD (4) is at the age when she is very bossy of her little brother and tries to tell him off if he does something he shouldn't, which winds him up. He now is lashing out in retaliation which always ends in tears on both sides and sometime me through frustration. They do play nicely together say 50-60% of the time. I think it's their age. DS is now coming into his own personality and I think DD is finding that difficult as she's been used a baby and now there's this little boy saying 'no' and trying to pull her hair when she gets cross with him. I suppose it's typical sibling rivalry. There is almost 6 years between my brother and I and we were just the same! Love each other to bits now.

1184

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 26 March 2011 - 11:47

sounds like me and my sister when we were little ... to be honest, unless my parent really missed something, the solution is to wait until they get 25+ and start truly love and help eachother... i always blamed it on not having separate room from my sister. so maybe have them to attend separate activities and get separate friends, if they still fight when at school age.

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 26 March 2011 - 11:16

Yes it may be his age, but I am not a big fan of time out and then praising when quiet as I think it teaches children what buttons to press to get attention, having said that it may work for some children. Children need to be told to behave and suffer consequences when not behaving and to be followed through by parents or carers and not expect to be praised when they do behave as it will be what they will always expect and will not cope when others do not praise them especially as they get older. Consequences is not something children appear to suffer these days and may need to teach our younger generations this.

Puffinlunde34121

384

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 22 March 2011 - 16:51

It sounds as though the little boy's behaviour is party his age - the so called terrible twos and also many 2 year olds are not able to play by themselves - and it also sounds like attention seeking behaviour - he certainly gets your attention when he acts out - but do you praise him when he plays quietly? TBH kids of this age need a lot of supervision pretty much all the time - perhaps you could occupy the 2 year old with helping around the house so that he gets more attention for being helpful that the naughty stuff Time out needs to be supervised for a 2 year old for 2 minutes - somewhere very boring such as a chair in the hall or bathroom - if he stands up he needs to be put back into time out straight away - he cannot be allowed to run away and attack his sister - you may need to put him back 20 times to start with without speaking to him or giving any attention - but he will get the idea Can you put a stair gate on his room or his sisters so that she can play in peace

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