GGP - those are not friends. Friends should be sad to let you go, but celebrate your opportunity.
Yes, I thought these women were my friends. Our kids were going to be at school together for the next 13 years. They have accepted invitations into my home - some of them even on Boxing Day which I kind of consider quite sacred. Clearly my judgement is off.
But I'm mostly worried my kids will pick up on it. When DS1 entered the classroom on his first day of school, his best friend had saved him the seat next to him. His No. 2 friend called out across the room "Hey, X, don't you know Y is LEAVING?" as if to say why are you bothering to sit next to him when he won't be here all year. My son's bestie went home and told his mum, he was quite upset that someone should suggest they shouldn't be friends anymore (his interpretation). Thank God for his bestie.
But I'm taking from most of your posts, that people didn't necessarily pull away from you... I must have just chosen the wrong friends. :(
Some people were really jealous - thought we were running off for a holiday in the sun and tax free dollars and were going to return with his n hers Ferraris. Sad, but true BMAP, this may be what they are thinking - You lucky sod, why doesn't this happen to me blah blah blah.
Which we knew was absurd, truth was we were struggling with an enormous mortgage and had two kids under 18 months old. It was the best option to keep their mum (moi) at home with them, which is what we had always wanted to do with our kids. It hurt at the time, and as you can see, still hurts.
Your true friends will put a brave face on it, wish you well and cry in private.
Which is what the friends you will make here will do when you tell them you are going back home when your stint is over.
it's a big reason I'm not telling anyone.
All my friends (I don't really think they are my friends) compare every inch of my life with theirs. They suck if they were being fake towards you this entire time.
Some people were really jealous - thought we were running off for a holiday in the sun and tax free dollars and were going to return with his n hers Ferraris. Sad, but true BMAP, this may be what they are thinking - You lucky sod, why doesn't this happen to me blah blah blah.
Which we knew was absurd, truth was we were struggling with an enormous mortgage and had two kids under 18 months old. It was the best option to keep their mum (moi) at home with them, which is what we had always wanted to do with our kids. It hurt at the time, and as you can see, still hurts.
Your true friends will put a brave face on it, wish you well and cry in private.
Which is what the friends you will make here will do when you tell them you are going back home when your stint is over.
In my case it was..................oh thank God, .........when did you say you were leaving??
There may have been a few who put it even more succinctly!
(Sorry but the thread title does invite a flippant response)
<em>edited by Livelytrish on 01/02/2011</em>
Buy me a Pony, you talk about your son's friendships with these women's sons, and various helpings out in crises, but do you consider the women as your friends? It just struck me that perhaps it was more a matter of having kids of the same age than real closeness...?
I've lived in a lot of different countries, and moving to Dubai wasn't by any means moving abroad for the first time - neither was it from my home country, where I haven't lived in some time. I don't think anyone ran about being heartbroken - it's been a long time since all of my friends were on the same continent, let alone the same country, and we've all upped sticks internationally on at least one occasion, so we're quite accustomed to staying in touch without seeing one another for years at a time. People did think (rightly) that it was an unlikely place for me to live.
I have to say, though, that the friends I made in Dubai have been singularly bad at keeping in touch since I left, despite my efforts. Can't decide if the isolation of Dubai made me choose as friends people I wouldn't normally have, or what the difference is...
We haven't told anyone yet. I don't think I'm going to tell anyone till the week I'm leaving. I don't do goodbyes well, and with moves and giant upheavals the least amount of time given to the public the less disruption my family faces. I only tell people who really need to know.
but then we don't have many good friends right now, and my son is only 2. I may make a similar decision to yours when my son is older.
I'm sorry your friends have been callous, hopefully they'll clean up their act soon.
I got a mix of dissapointed faces, a lot of "oh good ill get a free holiday", some comments regarding women being second class citizens, comments about cammels in the back garden etc etc..... a lot of people said "you'll love it"... those ones were the liars....
When I moved to Geneva, everyone was very excited for me - it was because I was getting married. When we moved to Dubai, all my Swiss friends were horrified. The only person who was positive about it was my Lebanese friend. My English friends were horrified at first and then realized that I couldn't be more unhappy here than I was in Geneva, so wished me luck!
buymeapony, it must be heartbreaking for you. I only had a baby when I moved here, so didn't recieve adverse reaction from other mothers. But, friends did say things like "Why on earth Dubai? Isn't it all fake there?".
DH's family was very upset. He is the only child who moved away for a new job. SIL and MILs commented why he can't just take a job offer there!!
Colleagues said "oooh, dubai, lucky you" but wasn't sure if they really meant it.
Anyway, we didn't let it bother us too much. We decided to do what we think is the best for us.
Well when we moved from "home" it was not to the UAE, so the reaction was much different. It was, "Oh, where is that exactly?" People were very friendly and nothing like you described. However, when we were on our way to UAE...there were several "Oh my!" and "Really...is it safe to live there?" and the usual (albeit kinda sad) questions about terrorism and burqas.
Just take it with a grain of salt ... the last thing you need to stress over is how people are reacting to you leaving. You've got a lot on your plate already. :)
When I told family/friends I was moving to Dubai:
One of my longest-standing friends: what are you going to do with your collection of cardigans?
Another one of my longest-standing friends: but I thought you would move to Spain and be near me?
Everybody else: I always knew you'd end up somewhere hot. Why did it take you so long?