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EWmums

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ewmoda

How do you cope having your parents far and terminally ill?

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38

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 May 2016 - 15:32

Hi, Sorry to hear about your mom and also what you are going through. Five years ago this August, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer with mets to her brain. When she was first diagnosed I honestly thought she would be gone within a matter of months, but by some miracle (and an amazing neurosurgeon who successfully removed her largest brain tumor), she is now in remission and doing great! I wish the same for your mom. I've lived in Dubai for close to 15 years now, my family is like yours, in the USA (Wisconsin :) ). It is extremely heartwrenching to be far away when a family member gets sick. I always felt like I was being torn in two, between being here with my husband and being there with my parents / sister. When she was first diagnosed, I flew back and forth as much as I could. Every couple of months. Even if it was just to stay a week, nothing really compares to being there in person, if possible. Cancer can become a black cloud having over everyone in the family. Even when someone (like my mom) does well with treatment, it can always loom unfortunately. Are you close with your sister? It helped me a lot to chat with my sister (texting) on a daily basis. I think there is a support group called "Breast Friends" in Dubai... Thank you Laura74 for sharing it with me, and so glad your mom is doing well. I wish her stay in remission for many years. It is mind calming to know it is possible to live with mets. My relationship with sister is not what I would love it to be, we are fine but unfortunately no soul talks or anything close to it there...Sight .. I have already tried approaching "Breast Friends", but was told members have a decision that it is only for patents exclusively. Hugs xx

1340

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 12 May 2016 - 13:45

Hi, Sorry to hear about your mom and also what you are going through. Five years ago this August, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer with mets to her brain. When she was first diagnosed I honestly thought she would be gone within a matter of months, but by some miracle (and an amazing neurosurgeon who successfully removed her largest brain tumor), she is now in remission and doing great! I wish the same for your mom. I've lived in Dubai for close to 15 years now, my family is like yours, in the USA (Wisconsin :) ). It is extremely heartwrenching to be far away when a family member gets sick. I always felt like I was being torn in two, between being here with my husband and being there with my parents / sister. When she was first diagnosed, I flew back and forth as much as I could. Every couple of months. Even if it was just to stay a week, nothing really compares to being there in person, if possible. Cancer can become a black cloud having over everyone in the family. Even when someone (like my mom) does well with treatment, it can always loom unfortunately. Are you close with your sister? It helped me a lot to chat with my sister (texting) on a daily basis. I think there is a support group called "Breast Friends" in Dubai... Sorry to hear about your Mum's illness but glad she's doing well. Kittens waving xxx

124

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 May 2016 - 13:06

Hi, Sorry to hear about your mom and also what you are going through. Five years ago this August, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer with mets to her brain. When she was first diagnosed I honestly thought she would be gone within a matter of months, but by some miracle (and an amazing neurosurgeon who successfully removed her largest brain tumor), she is now in remission and doing great! I wish the same for your mom. I've lived in Dubai for close to 15 years now, my family is like yours, in the USA (Wisconsin :) ). It is extremely heartwrenching to be far away when a family member gets sick. I always felt like I was being torn in two, between being here with my husband and being there with my parents / sister. When she was first diagnosed, I flew back and forth as much as I could. Every couple of months. Even if it was just to stay a week, nothing really compares to being there in person, if possible. Cancer can become a black cloud having over everyone in the family. Even when someone (like my mom) does well with treatment, it can always loom unfortunately. Are you close with your sister? It helped me a lot to chat with my sister (texting) on a daily basis. I think there is a support group called "Breast Friends" in Dubai...

38

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 May 2016 - 12:29

Sorry, this is a sad topic. We all have parents and I am sure I am not alone being in pain to see parents failing. My mom got diagnosed with metastised breast cancer in January. She s in US and is on the treatment at one of the best university hospitals and at the moment she is doing ok. My sister lives there and my mom has her minimum supervision. I went to see her and met her doctors, to whom I can communicate through patents portal from Dubai as well as see her labs, so technically I can follow up her treatment from the distance at least. I read a lot about cancer on different sites, and forums to educate myself about this disease, to understand labs, options so I can have right questions about treatment. But I find it so hard to cope with the fact itself, my mom being with this terrible disease and me being at the distance. It is wearing on me and my family who would see burst into tears any time. It is not an option for my family to move to US and it is not an option for my mom to join me in Dubai. The distance from my mother is killing me. I cant focus. This time a have to be larger the life for her and I am not sure how can I do that as I feel slipping into depression myself. What is the way to put my mind on track? Is there a caregivers support groups in Dubai (real people, not web)? Where to get inspiration for strength? I would appreciate advise only from someone who have been in situation like this and found ways to cope.

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