Feeling down -Looming due date of lost pregnancy

Big hugs and my condolences for your lost. I can't say I've been there before but send all my love across the web.

I am very sorry for all your losses. I know how it feels. I lost my baby at 17 weeks, 9 months ago.There were no words to describe the grief of a mother who already felt the baby's movements, the 1st kicks... You have the full right to be down and miserable.It's even recommended to cry and grieve as long as you wish, so you will release all your pain till the last drop. But you have a choice as well. You can choose to understand the reason that caused your miscarriage and learn from it. Don't listen to the doctors that say miscarriages might happen with no reason, it's genetic stuff and so on. There is ALWAYS a reason. Placenta rapture, water break, incompetent cervix etc. they are all secondary. The main reason is inside of you! When i miscarried with " no reason" at the end of my 4th month, I cried like ****. Every day was a torture for me, I was in a deep depression. I blamed myself that i didn't fight for my baby. Now I know that my son could be saved if I have gone for the second opinion. But I believed in doctor's words that nothing could be done expect killing my baby and taking him out thru D & C. The same day my sister-in -law delivered a baby-girl. So she is a constant reminder of my loss. I see her growing every day, and all my memories come back. It's very hard to forget all this experience. I want to share this info with you. Please, find some time to read and think deeply about it. http://veronikarobinson.blogspot.com/2008/04/metaphysical-side-of-miscarriage.html It really changed my attitude towards my loss. As I said there is ALWAYS a reason for every disease and miscarriage in a metaphysical level. I realized what caused my miscarriage after looking deep inside of me. My thoughts, my energy, my state of mind did all the harm. I even didn't suspect that until I came across with this article. P.S I am not religious at all. I might be a bit spiritual.

Hi. Really sorry to hear about your loss. I miscarried 11 months ago which was pretty horrendous, and my good friend and I were due a week apart. It was bittersweet when she gave birth, as I felt like I should have been there too. I was visiting another friend in London around the time of my due date, and wondering around a lot of churches and old buildings. That definately helped me, to just find a quiet space to sit down and think. I took a bit of time out for myself - mani/pedi, really sad movie so I could bawl my eyes out - that kind of thing. What worked for me was to throw a flower in a river/sea and think of the little one that wasn't around. I also talked a lot to friends, as I think that not enough people tell their story if they lose a baby. Hope this helps. Sending you lots of good thoughts xx

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. It brought back my memories when I had 2 m/c's. Please accept my cyber hugs, its really sad. me and my friend were expecting our first, whenever i see her son, it reminds me of my lost baby.

I just wrote a long reply to this but it disappeared when I tried to post. Anyway, I just wanted to say (i) big hugs and (ii) feeling down at this time is completely natural. I haven't had an ectopic but had a miscarriage last summer and it took me many months to feel ok. I found the "due date" month tough, especially as a colleague gave birth that month. I think the fact I had been TTC so long and it was our first "success" made it tough too. Like you I thought I would conceive again quickly after the miscarriage, but sadly haven't. I feel like the months are slipping by and it's hard not to get down about it. If you don't feel your cycle / body is quite right after the ordeal, I would definitely make an appt to see your gynae to see if they can test your hormone levels etc. I do temperature / cycle charting which can help you to understand how your particular cycle works etc (although after so many months I loathe the sight of my thermometer) which can help identify any problems. Fingers crossed for us both!