Bedtime battles | ExpatWoman.com
 

Bedtime battles

121
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 07:43

At the end of my tether with DS , 30 months, who at nighttime refuses to stay in bed, constantly gets up and tries to walk away while I'm doing the 'book and milk' routine, or he enjoys the book but then when it's time to switch off the lights he throws tantrums galore! Starts kicking and screaming, the only thing that calms him down at that point is him wanting to watch his favourite programme on the iPhone. Obviously don't want to make that a habit as he could easily watch for hours! Last night I caved in due to exhaustion, started putting him to bed at 8pm and the ordeal only ended at 10pm when he finally nodded off. Poor sleep has so many bad implications, he will now miss nursery today because he'll only wake up around ten. Sorry for the long post but getting desperate now, don't want tears and seemingly fighting with him every night!

186
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 18:48
I agree with the other ladies, quiet time before bed and every night the same thing, bath, bottle, story, bed. My son is only 19 weeks so I'm not that experienced but we have done the same routine with him since he was 5 weeks as he didn't sleep at all unless he was in the car. It took 2 hours every night for a week but now be goes down at 6.30 every night and sleeps until 7/7.30. Consistency is the key. Good luck xx
297
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 12:36
Appreciate everyone taking time to respond.I think the root of the problem is DS has never really learnt to self settle, too reliant on me being there lying next to him to fall asleep. (Prior to that used to fall asleep while BF until the age of 18months.) Any tips on how to break this cycle and teach him to self settle at this age? he really does have stamina to stay awake, whether his had a daytime nap or not! I nursed my oldest to sleep until she was 2...then I stopped that and introduced the bedtime stories. I can totally relate to what you are saying about your son being reliant on you for falling asleep as we were exactly there. And for the middle of the night waking it took another while to help her to settle herself, but that is a different topic. It took maybe a week with the new routine (bath, nurse, story, bed) until that went smoothly but it did work then, even if there where the odd nights where she just wouldn't settle for hours and we had to go for a walk with her in the pram, but these occasions where not very often. I would still recomend making bedtime earlier and keeping activities very calm and quiet for the 1 or 2 hours leading up to bedtime. And just to reasure you my oldest is now 4 and bedtimes and sleeping through have been no issues now for a long time - they all get there eventually.
5452
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 11:47
Honestly, I really have no clue other than to say that it is best to start good habits early. I can't even get my 5 year-old to go to bed at night so I just do the bedtime routine with her and then send her downstairs to hang out with her father and I go to bed! My DH said that eventually she'd get tired and go to sleep with her younger sister but that has not happened so I just decided to stop stressing and let her stay up late most nights. It has not affected her performance during the day as she is highly energetic. I am just going with the flow and hoping that one day she'll enjoy sleeping as much as her mother. That's motherhood, Poppy82! :)
121
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 11:30
Appreciate everyone taking time to respond.I think the root of the problem is DS has never really learnt to self settle, too reliant on me being there lying next to him to fall asleep. (Prior to that used to fall asleep while BF until the age of 18months.) Any tips on how to break this cycle and teach him to self settle at this age? he really does have stamina to stay awake, whether his had a daytime nap or not!
297
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 10:44
Little kids are going to have phases where they will try to test their boundaries, with bedtime, with eating or with listening. Your job is it to calmly and firmly stick to the boundaries you have set. I do think though that even 8 o'clock is still too late for a 2 and a half year old, I would try and have bedtime no later than 6:30 at this age, they need their sleep. And do wake him in the morning don't let him sleep till 10, or he will have difficulties falling asleep later. Also try to have him have his afternoon nap before 2 or 3 so he is up again at 4, 4:30 so bedtime won't be too late. Regarding bedtime, I found that a calming routine works well, like starting an hour before bedtime only quiet activities (no running around, no TV), a nice bath, a story or two, cuddles and lights out. At this age, if he throws a fit after lights try to ignore it, but check on him and talk soothingly to him telling him things like "it is now night time, time to sleep" and walk out the room again. In my experience the tantrums are more likely to come at bedtime when the child is overtired. After a few evenings of the consistent bedtime routine it will be a lot smoother. You could consider a nightlight if he is frightened in the dark. Get him some new big boy pyjamas, or a spillproof nightime sippy cup for his water. You could also sit with him at his bed until he falls asleep, I personally never wnated to do this but then we stayed in an apartement when my oldest was that age so her bedroom was really close to our living room and so she didn't feel too lonely as she could hear us. <em>edited by Lilli34 on 10/10/2012</em>
5452
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 10 October 2012 - 09:34
Hi! My opinion is that you should have woken him up to go to nursery today. If he is up at 10 am, of course he'll only fall asleep at 10 pm. I have two very energetic children and both of them were finished regular napping by your DS' age. They would still sometimes fall asleep during the day and that was ok. If your son is very energetic, then he probably needs 12 hours straight of being awake during the day and then he'll go right to bed at 8 or even earlier.
 
 

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