Advice pls - which feed would you wean first?

No worries Mmmm, sometimes it would be so much easier just to be having a conversation over coffee wouldn't it (instead of frantically typing while feeding babies etc). I remember reading that if a waking is the same time every night it is more likely habit and if it varies a lot it is more likely hunger, I don't know how true that is but maybe something to keep in mind. Its a bit hard with a refluxer though as feeds are not always about hunger, often it can be that they are in pain and feeding relieves that. My philosophy has always been that if I could give milk instead of meds then I was prepared to get woken up more in order to do that. I also tended to always give a feed with a 3am ish waking because with my kids if I didn't and they woke hungry at 5 then no amount of feeding would get them back to sleep and that meant we were up for the day. This forum is great for advice but remember, we are all FTMs really (even those of us with more than one child) because every baby is different, so have faith in your own instincts on this regardless of what anyone (including myself :) ) has to say on the matter. We are all taking it day by day and playing it by ear. and on that note, I see my 9 month old has been eating dirt out of the pot plants while I have been typing, bad mummy award goes to me today!

Sorry Mmmmm, I didn't mean that quite the way it came out, it just seems like FF mothers especially feel some sort of pressure to have a minimum number of feeds per day, I have no idea why that is but I see posts about it all the time and I get annoyed about that pressure (not annoyed at you if that makes sense). You have had a tough time with your daughter, I know myself how it is to have a refluxer (I have had two). Please don't feel like you are doing a better job as a mother if your baby drinks a larger bottle or sleeps a longer stretch, if you are listening to your baby and doing what makes her the most healthy than you are the best mother she could ever have. For refluxers especially, feeding is more complicated than x calories in per day, overfilling the stomach (as is easy to do when bottle feeding) puts a lot of pressure on an already weak osephagus and can lead to real pain. Frequent small feeds is actually much closer to how human babies evolved to eat and many breastfed babies feed more like 12 times a day (obviously smaller feeds). At 6.5 months I don't think you should be looking to cut back any milk feeds (unless your baby is seriously overweight) its something that happens naturally as your baby begins to take more solids and I strongly feel its best to let your wee girl do that at her own pace, not only for her own comfort but also because it sets the stage for her building healthy attitudes to food and allows her to build better communication skills. Great that she is starting to self soothe, it makes it much easier to tell if they are waking out of hunger or just as a sleep association. You will probably find by around 9 months your baby can communicate more effectively what it is she wants and for me I found things much easier from around that mark. Don't get hung up on grams of food or mls of milk, you'll look back in a year or so and wonder why you were so worried about that sort of thing. (I'm assuming you don't weigh your own food or drinks). If she is anything like my babies you find things get a lot better (both on a reflux and sleep front) slowly but surely over the next 6 months, there will probably be regressions and it can feel like a slow journey but I can assure you, you will sleep through eventually!

why are you trying to remove a feed in the first place? Its so much less painful for a reflux baby if you let them take smaller feeds rather than trying to force them into big feeds.

Is she bottle fed formula or breastmilk? How many bottles total per 24 hours?

It is difficult to say which feed to get rid of because you don't know where she is waking up because of habit or she's genuinely hungry because she is not having enough during the day. Can I ask how she goes to sleep....do you rock, give bottle to sleep or does she fall asleep on her own? My DD used to wake several times in the night when she needed either rocking or bottle to fall asleep and I would give her a bottle get her back to sleep when she did wake up. But after we did some sleep training and she was able to fall asleep on her own she stopped waking up in the night.