Dummy/soother VS thumb? | ExpatWoman.com
 

Dummy/soother VS thumb?

77
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 15:52
I have seen adults thumb suck and finger chew, but I've never seen an adult with a dummy. not that I'm convinced either way, but to be honest my LO never actually tried to suck his thumb edited by kiwispiers on 10/07/2011 Surely adults sucking their thumb is an exception not a rule? Finger chewing is usually something unrelated to this topic ... You raise a very valid point - there are a lot of children who don't suck their thumb - I'd be interested to see the ratio of thumb vs non thumb suckers in areas where dummies simply don't exist. Letting a child choose to naturally self soothe by sucking their thumb, or not in many cases seems to me, to be more natural. Still curious to know why a pro of a dummy is the fact you can take it away. If it's something to be taken away why give it in the first place?
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 15:25
Theres always something new that they say or bring out lol...Its up to each and everyone to do whats right for their child. My brother sucked his thumb into teenage yrs and it pushed all his teeth out of line. Thats why i would never encourage it. Ive never seen a teenager suck a dummy lol. I took the dummy off my first child at 2.5 and my second the same after 1 day they just learn to go to sleep without it. Will do the same for my 3rd. What i dont agree with is when parents still give them the dummy at 4 or 5 yrs old now thats just silly, thats when lots of problems happen.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 15:22
I think its not about dirt, its about germs, and hands are generally about as germy as it gets but dummy or not, a baby will put their hands in their mouth anyway, so its a bit moot. I think the argument that you would take the dummy away more easily is valid, if it was a habit to the point of orthodontic issues and thumb sucking certainly can be. I have seen adults thumb suck and finger chew, but I've never seen an adult with a dummy. not that I'm convinced either way, but to be honest my LO never actually tried to suck his thumb <em>edited by kiwispiers on 10/07/2011</em>
77
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 14:35
They are now saying that dummies are actually terrible for teeth because babies learn to hold them in the mouth when asleep (when it falls out they wake up and cry so they learn to keep hold of it for hours leading to orthodontic issues) ... they can't lose their thumb. Also, thumb suckers don't usually talk with their thumbs in their mouth vs. dummy suckers who do which has been linked to speech issues. I am all for thumb sucking, they can't lose it, it's always on hand (literally) and what's wrong with them being able to self soothe. I have never seen an adult suck their thumb. I sucked mine until I was 7 and never had braces and have no speech issues. Thumb sucking is not a recent invention - it has been part of a babies soothing mechanism since the beginning of time. I don't get the argument about being able to take away something that comforts a child and allow them to self soothe but I understand many have their reasons I just can't think of any. The argument that the dummy is more hygienic is ridiculous - dirt does not make you sick and if your child's hands are THAT dirty then maybe you should wash them.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 12:41
Dummies... You can take the dummy away but not your child's thumb. Thumb sucking is very bad as your child may take years to grow out of doing it. Can effect the teeth etc where you can take the dummy away when you feel is the right time.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 12:38
Don't forget, a dummy is also FAR more hygeinic than a thumb. Don't stress yourselves too much over it - they all eventually give them up. My eldest DS refused his when he had a sleepover with his cousin at 3yo as he was now a "big boy" and my second DS gave his up when he was 2 1/2 and moved into his big boy bed. It serves a purpose, it's handy when they're in a different environment and can still have something soothing or when they're overtired, out and about late or needing a sleep... I always restricted my DS's use to bedtime only and they'd always spit it out once they were asleep. They eventually were able to find it and self-sooth themselves overnight and like others have said, you can throw out a dummy... thumbs are much more difficult to throw away ;) Just ensure they're cleaned often, replaced regularly and used for their intended purpose - soothing to sleep.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 12:36
both my boys absolutely refused to take a soother. Both were bottle fed as I couldn't BF. Not sure if them being preemies had anything to do with it. My first DS started sucking his thumb when he was about 2 months old. He's 3 1/2 and only sucks his thumb if he's sick or tired/whiny. Usually it only lasts til he falls asleep so at most an hour. My other DS who's going to be one doesn't even seem to suck his thumb.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 11:36
[ agree shelly, what to do? what to do? For now the dummy stays. :( I might try the pantly pullout technique again. For my DD, for now the dummy also stays. She is 9 months and when she turns 1 then I might have a rethink.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 11:09
i couldn't find the website I was thinking of but here is some info, finger, thumb and dummy sucking, all bad :( http://www.uptodate.com/contents/oral-habits-and-orofacial-development http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2280788 I think the key is not to let it go beyond around 2 years.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 11:08
Thanks ladies, However I do find that because of her strong desire to suck, I offer her the b00b more often, and like I said before, she is a big baby, at 8 weeks she is the size of a 3 month old child and I kid you not!!! But she is growing in proportion, and I often wonder if her size is due to the fact that she is on the b00b a lot? And at times coz she will go on the b00b so often she sometimes ends up throwing up some of the milk she has taken. That's why I though maybe the dummy or thumb will take the edge of the sucky need? I honestly don't mind putting her on the b00b every time she wants something to suck on, but then is she going to get used to having food as comfort? And yes sadly she does need the b00b to fall asleep, I have tried to put her down when she is still semi awake, but she never sleeps and is awake within minutes. There are times I can feel that she is not taking any milk but sucking anyway, so in effect she is using me as a 'dummy' To be honest I would prefer she didn't have the thumb or dummy, and if I did give the dummy it would only be used before bed. The thought of her having one in her mouth 24/7 or every time she made a sound fills me with dread! I also had a 3 year old boy in my class who sucked his thumb and you should see the condition of his thumb! Oh I wish there was an easy answer!
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 11:00
I've seen a lot of people just hand over the dummy when the child cries without questioning what the child actually wanted. If you're careful then not to see/ use the dummy as a cure-all, then I'm sure you won't have much of a problem when it'd no longer needed. I disagree, my 11 months son has only EVER had the dummy as a sleep cue, after bed, bath, boob, cuddle and he is totally hooked on it and will not fall asleep without it in his mouth, when tired he has even been known to spit out the boob and pick up his dummy so he can go to sleep. I def don't think I've used it as a "cure all" but he shows no signs of growing out of it by himself so I would caution you be careful, maybe give it for a few minutes before bed but not in bed. Although I guess sucky babies who don't have thumbs or dummies end up being the ones hooked on nursing to sleep. I've just seen a good few parents plug in a dummy when the child starts making noises, almost without thinking. Not all - obviously! I know that if I give my son his favourite (and very sucked) toy, he is instantly quiet and content (which is always nice)... and have had to resist doing so as soon as he cries, knowing that he's probably not crying because he's tired and that he's certainly not crying for the toy. I think it's easy to fall into that trap, because having a quietly content baby is always nicer than listening to crying, but on the flip-side, the crying might be expressing "I'm hungry" or "I'm bored"... which are then messages that you could miss. ... and it also depends on the child of course. I know what you are saying, I agree that people can over-use a dummy and they can interfere with communication, I was just pointing out that even if you don't do that (and I'm pretty sure I don't as he only has it in bed) it can be very hard to take them away when they become a sleep association. I really want to take my son's one away at night but really don't know how to do it as I'm not really ok with him crying himself to sleep and it would seem counter productive to rock him to sleep instead. I have heard of people waiting until their baby as older and then giving it to santa in exchange for presents or giving them to the new baby, but I''d rather not wait that long as I do worry about it affecting his palette. agree shelly, what to do? what to do? For now the dummy stays. :( I might try the pantly pullout technique again.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 10:51
Well I was a HUGE thumb sucker as a child, it was constant every day including at school up to the age of about 10, and I only stopped fully when I was 18. It never bothered me, and interestingly I was the only one of 4 siblings who didn't need braces! I've heard it depends on how you suck the thumb as to whether it will affect your teeth. I also know that many little ones who suck their thumbs grow out of it by the time they start school. I didn't give either of my boys dummies as I don't particularly like them and they were not difficult babies to settle. Luckily neither of them sucked their thumbs, but if they had I would probably have preferred the thumb sucking to a dummy, even though I know I did it for so many years! <em>edited by Scribs on 10/07/2011</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 10:15
I've seen a lot of people just hand over the dummy when the child cries without questioning what the child actually wanted. If you're careful then not to see/ use the dummy as a cure-all, then I'm sure you won't have much of a problem when it'd no longer needed. I disagree, my 11 months son has only EVER had the dummy as a sleep cue, after bed, bath, boob, cuddle and he is totally hooked on it and will not fall asleep without it in his mouth, when tired he has even been known to spit out the boob and pick up his dummy so he can go to sleep. I def don't think I've used it as a "cure all" but he shows no signs of growing out of it by himself so I would caution you be careful, maybe give it for a few minutes before bed but not in bed. Although I guess sucky babies who don't have thumbs or dummies end up being the ones hooked on nursing to sleep. I've just seen a good few parents plug in a dummy when the child starts making noises, almost without thinking. Not all - obviously! I know that if I give my son his favourite (and very sucked) toy, he is instantly quiet and content (which is always nice)... and have had to resist doing so as soon as he cries, knowing that he's probably not crying because he's tired and that he's certainly not crying for the toy. I think it's easy to fall into that trap, because having a quietly content baby is always nicer than listening to crying, but on the flip-side, the crying might be expressing "I'm hungry" or "I'm bored"... which are then messages that you could miss. ... and it also depends on the child of course.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 09:47
As far as finding research to whether sucking thumbs/fingers affects your teeth, I have never looked. But I do know for a fact that it can affect your teeth. I know this because it happened to me, and my husband. In my case I was a thumb and finger sucker and it got to the point I nearly had to have braces because of the sucking. Over time it pushes your front teeth out as they are growing. After seeing 3 Orthodontists they all said it was due to thumb/finger sucking and if I didn't stop I would need a plate/braces over my teeth. By this time I was a little girl and the thought of braces scared me into stopping there and then. So I was lucky, never needed braces. In my husband's case, he was not so lucky and needed braces... why? Because he was a thumb sucker and his parents were told it was because of the thumb sucking. Thats just our personal experience. My DD has the dummy. I would prefer this to sucking her fingers/thumb. I don't mind her having the dummy as going through teething it does help to calm her down and soothe her. I am under no illusions that when the time comes it will be a battle to take it off her and I only hope she doesn't suck her fingers in the process. Just knowing 'when' to wean her from it is the big question as I also think there is nothing worse than seeing a 4yr old sucking a dummy. What to do, what to do?
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 08:18
I've seen a lot of people just hand over the dummy when the child cries without questioning what the child actually wanted. If you're careful then not to see/ use the dummy as a cure-all, then I'm sure you won't have much of a problem when it'd no longer needed. I disagree, my 11 months son has only EVER had the dummy as a sleep cue, after bed, bath, boob, cuddle and he is totally hooked on it and will not fall asleep without it in his mouth, when tired he has even been known to spit out the boob and pick up his dummy so he can go to sleep. I def don't think I've used it as a "cure all" but he shows no signs of growing out of it by himself so I would caution you be careful, maybe give it for a few minutes before bed but not in bed. Although I guess sucky babies who don't have thumbs or dummies end up being the ones hooked on nursing to sleep.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 02:16
My son has always been sucky - and still is (he's 2). He spat out the dummy I halfheartedly tried giving him (don't really like them, eldest never had one but I realised that they were just a means to an end) but instead decided he liked sucking the arm of a cuddly toy (we since bought another 3 to have a turn-around in the wash!). He still does and I'm under no illusion that it's basically the skankiest dummy in the world, but hey. My daughter went through stages of sucking, chewing or pulling at her own favourite toy, but grew out of them all on her own. I also think that often the problems associated with dummy-dependency lie first and foremost with the parents/ carers. It's a very easy (and effective) crutch and I've seen a lot of people just hand over the dummy when the child cries without questioning what the child actually wanted. If you're careful then not to see/ use the dummy as a cure-all, then I'm sure you won't have much of a problem when it'd no longer needed.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 09 July 2011 - 23:08
I was on a website a while back with images of different dental malformations from dummies, thumbs and finger sucking, will try and remember where it was. I actually consider the dummy to be more hygienic, but I wish I hadn't given it, if you are ok with 4 days of crying to take it away I guess it might be ok, I meant to take it at 3 months but at 11 months DS is still firmly hooked, at least they can find their own thumb at 3am! If I could go back I would give the dummy and take it away at the 3 months mark when hopefully, being less sucky, it wouldn't be too hard to take. For us the dummy has only ever been for sleeping, it doesn't leave the bedroom unfortunately he slept great at 3 months but by 5 months was waking for the dummy :(
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 July 2011 - 22:47
DD sucked her thumb for a very short time; she was not keen on a dummy, but we have offered it to her when BF was well established. She was not too keen on it and neither was I ;) She was also EBF for a long time. I think there is nothing wrong with offering a dummy. They say dummy is parent-controlled and a thumb is child-controlled, but nothing will stop her from sucking her thumb when dummy is taken away ;) I did not find ANY research saying that sucking your thumb will affect teeth :)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 09 July 2011 - 20:50
Yeah tell me about it :D will defo let you know if my mom will succeed. I think for now, try to wear mittens on her hands (although my LO finds the thumb through the material of mittens as well) as for grinning face, just press ":" and capital "D" :D
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 July 2011 - 20:37
Thanks Dramaqn Its not easy huh?1 I just feel so bad for her when she is sucking at everything in sight, I feel like I'm depriving her so hence always putting her on the b00b, I'm prob ever feeding her, but I guess that another thread altogether!!! My sister had a dummy for my nephew, but took it away when he was 8 months, took about 4 days of crying and he was ok. I do hope your mom is able to help you! I guess us mom's sometimes just want the easiest(and quietest) option out there!! Let me know how it goes so if I do go down the thumb/dummy route, I know how to get her off it!:) P.s how did you get the green smiley grinning face in your post???(of the topic I know but just curious!!!) hehe
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 09 July 2011 - 20:25
I think both are evil :) my 3 m.o. also took on sucking her thumb, however she hates dummies (just spits them right back into my face :D) thumb, let's say more hygienic and always with them :) however sucking might affect on thumb nail in future + teeth (won't come out right) both things are difficult to get rid of if allowed to be used for long :) in my case, I hope my mother will take care of it when we are home for the summer :) (I don't have guts + I like the quiet time while LO soothes herself to sleep :D)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 July 2011 - 17:55
Hi ladies, I need some advise My now 8 week old girl has started to suck her thumb. She has always been a sucky baby, as in she contently wants to suckle on something, at times she sucks on her little fist, or at least she tries to, other times she sucks her own lower lip. When we pick her up she will try and suck on your shoulders. In her sleep I can see her mouth moving in a sucking motion. But the last few days she has managed to get her thumb into her mouth and is actually sucking it. Normally when I see her trying to suck everything in sight, I offer her the b00b(she is exclusively breastfed on demand) which I can carry on doing, but there are times when she will spend ages on the b00b, and I know most of it is comfort sucking. She is growing well, every time I get her weighted she has gained. She is a really big baby and weighs 6.4ks (birth weight was 3.5) So I know her sucking is not hunger. Now I'm not a fan of dummies at all, have never really liked them, but now I'm starting to wonder if I should give her one. The last thing I want is for her to become a regular thumb sucker and she is still sucking her thumb when she is older. my SIL sucked her thumb till she was 14!!! With a dummy I can take away from her. At the same time it fills me with dread when I see 4 year olds still with the dummy!! So what do I do? dummy or thumb? If dummy, which one? How easy is it to get rid of the dummy altogether? Do any of you have pro and cons of both the dummy and thumb? Please share your thoughts and views on this as me and my DH are divided and I'm not sure the best route here. Thanks in advance.
 
 

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