Looking for moral support

I usually see Dr Khan at Cooper Health Clinic. I have been very happy with him. Dr Waseem is also excellent, especially since he is a pediatric gastro enterologist - so he will know that sufficient weight gain is just a small part of the puzzle. Gaining enough weight does not take away the pain the poor baby suffers. Both my girls were on medication and did not experience any side effects. Many prem babies are on it too, since it's such a common problem amongst perms and they are usually fine too. It's just such an amazing relief to have a happy comfortable baby after they have been suffering for such a long time. Also you will be able to enjoy him as well. It's very stressful having a crying baby. Maybe consider antidepressant medication that you can get from your GP or a therapist and contact SANDS for support/counseling.

I'm sorry to hear what a traumatic time you have been through. Losing a baby must be the worst thing for a parent. Did you have any counseling/ therapy afterwards? There is a support group here called SANDS - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity that may be worthwhile contacting. http://www.dubai-sands.org/ Regarding breast feeding. There is no need to feel guilty. Every mother does the best she can do in the circumstances. Most times, you don't have much control over the whole breast feeding/milk supply thing. If you are lucky enough to have a good supply, that's great, but if you don't, let it go and move on. You can't change your body. The stress of having twins, who were in NICU will certainly not have helped the situation. Being separated from your babies is part of the problem, but that was beyond your control. So why punish yourself with guilt when you had no control over the situation? Just try to enjoy taking care of your babies. Maybe giving up breast feeding will take the pressure off you. Trying to do it all and exhausting yourself physically and emotionally is no good to you or your babies. Another thing to consider, is you may have postnatal depression, maybe you need to look into that? The terrible feelings of guilt, feeling overwhelmed, separated from your babies, having lost a baby. It's a lot to cope with. Go and see your dr and get yourself sorted out and then you will probably find the rest much easier to deal with. Regarding the reflux - so many symptoms, so look at this link: http://www.reflux.org.au/how-reflux-presents/#more-53 My 2nd DD had silent reflux and her symptoms were coughing, loud swallowing noises, sour breath and crying with pain. Her weight was normal, but I just knew something was not right. Zantac and Motillium worked really well for her. It's important that you have a good pediatrician who will listen to you and your concerns/ observations. Since your baby had reflux before, he may well still have it but is now the silent variety. Babies usually outgrow it once they are on solids for a while - around 7-8 months old. I hope some of this is helpful to you.

Don't feel bad about not breast feeding, it's impossible to do everything! Definitely get e baby checked for reflux, gaviscon and ranitidine made my baby so much easier to feed. If you still want to try breast feeding get your thyroide levels checked-simple blood test ( I couldn't breast fed my first, when I had my second I had been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, started taking medication and breast fed baby 2 with no problems-except for reflux).

does he have reflux? (simple or silent) this can lead to a negative association with eating and drinking, also maybe try faster or slower flow teats and feeding on demand (yes you can bottle-feed on demand) so that he feels more in control of the situation. My thoughts exactly. He may be screaming from pain. I would really get this investigated properly. Both my babies had reflux. The baby does not actually need to be vomiting Or spitting up milk to have it and weight can be normal. Especially with silent reflux, the milk moves up and down the oesaphagus, burning the tissue, leaving it inflamed and painful. So every time the baby gets fed, its just pain all over again. Lots of threads on here on advice for reflux and lots of advice if you google it. For my babies, medication was a life saver. I also always had the head of the cot elevated. Since you are giving formula, you can try the thicker formula called AR (anti reflux/regurgitation) - most brands make one, so just your regular one that has AR written next to it. You will obviously need a teat with a bigger hole in it to allow the thickened milk to flow easily without making the baby work too hard to get it. This does help, but he may still need medication to neutralize the acid, at least until his throat has healed. It is not normal to fight and cry at feeds. Since he does it with both breast and formula, I would seriously think there is more going on here than just a personality issue. Feeding should be pleasurable for a baby. Hope you get it sorted out.

I haven't delivered yet so I can't totally relate, but a friend of mine had trouble breast feeding and she got a lot of help from babycentre videos on YouTube. There a lot available for many different scenarios. This may help. Also, ask your doctor about seeing a lactation specialist. Good luck!

does he have reflux? (simple or silent) this can lead to a negative association with eating and drinking, also maybe try faster or slower flow teats and feeding on demand (yes you can bottle-feed on demand) so that he feels more in control of the situation.

Persevere. My babies are completely different and always have been. My little girl will eat anything anywhere (although she had a period too where she wouldn't nurse) and my little boy hates to eat, always has. Try to make sure they are well rested when you feed them - try when they just wake up, for example. According to my doctor, it is considered a real accomplishment for mommies of twins to make it to 6 months with nursing and you're almost there!