Question for Habibti...or anyone else with advice.

DS @ 17mths: He is still BF and needed to be fed, then rocked to sleep and once down, he would sleep for 3hrs uninterrupted and then wake up every 1-2hrs from midnight and then be glued to the breast from 5am until I got up to get my other kids ready for school! I followed the same routine re dinner, bath and BF before bed. The difference is that I was living in CPT and DS cot was in my room as I didn't have a spare room for him to sleep alone. Night 1 1. Follow routine, BF, cuddle and put him down awake (with the lights off). 2. Tell him in firm, yet kind voice, that it's sleep time and that he needs to lie down 3. Leave room 4. 10mins later, he was still crying (And standing up in the cot) so I would go in, repeat that it's sleep time and he needs to lie down (this is my sleep mantra :) ) and then leave the room 5. I'd then wait for 20mins and then go in and say the same thing. By this time he was hysterical so I picked him up, cuddled and reassured him with the mantra and making "shush" sounds 6. He took about 1.5hrs before he fell asleep but then slept right through until 1am 7. When he woke up and cried for the BF, I never left my bed - only repeated the mantra and said "shush" and then I hid under the blankets while he cried for 1hr :( 8. He woke at 6am and I then fed him and we were up for the day Night 2 1. He cried for 40mins before bedtime 2. He woke up once at 5.45am - then BF and we started our day Night 3 1. We were onboard our flight back to Dubai (I've just moved back) and already I could see the difference. 2. I was busy rocking DD to sleep on my lap and when DH repeated the mantra, DS immediately put his head down on his dad's shoulder and lay there peacefully. Usually, that night flight means I am alternately rocking and BF DS for the full 9hrs just to get him to keep quiet! Night 4 1. First night back in Dubai, followed the routine and guess what...DS slept right through the night (13hrs)! All our subsequent nights for the past few weeks he has gone down OK but sometimes I have to go in once or twice just to remind him that I am still around - I repeat the mantra and give him a cuddle and then leave the room, even if he is moaning or crying. He also wakes up around 3am every night but I don't get up - I repeat the mantra and he goes back to sleep until 5.30/6-ish. The trick with CIO sleep training is being kind, firm and CONSISTENT. No matter how difficult it is hearing your child cry, you have to leave them to cry (as long as they're well, with a dry nappy and safe in the cot). The first couple nights are rough but it DOES work and I swear, it is life changing for both you AND baby. You know yourself and your child best - my paed said don't go in at all but some nights, when I hear that his cry is bordering on hysterical, I go in and give him that reassurance that mom is still around and he's safe and loved, but that it's sleep time. When you figure out how to wean him completely off the breast, please post about it as that is my next step! Falling pregnant with #4 and landing up in hospital with food poisoning is NOT an option this time....:\: ;)

Phew, I thought I was the only one waking up every hour to BF a toddler ;) I'll tell you what I did with both DD and DS as my circumstances were different. What I can say without any doubt is that I wish I had sleep-trained my eldest DS - he is currently 8yrs old and still takes between 2-3hrs to fall sleep at night :( DD @ 13mths: She would wake up 3-4times between 8-11 and then again every hour thereafter. Her campcot was in my room and she was a very light sleeper. 1. Moved her cot to a separate room 2. Dinner at 5.45/6pm 3. Bath @ 6.30pm, followed by a massage in my room 4. Took her to greet dad, brother etc and then went to her room 5. Switched off all the lights and BF her while sitting upright (so no risk of me falling asleep with her still on the breast) 6. Put her down awake, greeted her and then left the room with the door closed behind me * Night 1 she cried for 40mins - she screamed and it was horrible but I never went in once. * She slept through until 4am - I let her cry but after 10mins went to BF her in her room for a few minutes and she then slept until 7am * Night 2 I followed the same routine and she cried for 15mins and then slept through until around 4am again. I let her cry but again went in to BF and she slept until 7.30ish * Night 3 she literally gave 1 "eh" moan and before I even left the room she was quiet and she slept until 4am. * To date she sleeps for 12-13hours and would nap for 3-4hours in the afternoon! (Although @ 3.5yrs she no longer wants to nap without a huge fight) * She continued to wake at 4am and I would always BF for 10mins. I didnt mind doing so because she would go right back to sleep for another few hours. I commuted to SA every 6wks and would do exactly the same when we got the house there, and upon return to DXB. By the time I had done the commute twice she knew the drill and would sleep in the same way in both our houses. Re weaning - when she was 17mths old I got food poisoning and landed up in hospital (I was 3mths pregnant and severely dehydrated). DD went to my mom and never asked for the breast that 1st night! Since I was hoping to wean her anyway, my mom kept her for 4nights and that was how I got her to stop BF (easy way out, I know!) :D HTH

Hi Appletiser....it sounds like your DS definitely has a deeply ingrained sleep association if this is still happening at 2. My DS used to wake up every 45 mins at one point, but his association was for his dummy. At around 7 months we decided to use Cecile and do some sleep training which involved me moving out of the room he slept in to stop me attending to him immediately, and not going in until 20 mins had elapsed. After the 20 mins we were allowed to do whatever was necessary to put him to sleep (pick him up, offer dummy....). Sure enough when he woke up he was pretty angry we didn't come straight away and cried for the 20 mins, then Dad went in to settle him which took about 10 mins...and luckily for us he then proceeded to sleep through. For the next week or so he would often wake but would settle himself within 5 mins or so. I was still dreamfeeding him once a night but around 8-9 months we stopped and he has slept 12 hours ever since. I think you have to acknowledge that if this is still happening at 2 that you are just as responsible for the nightwaking by having given the breast for this long so it's not really fair to just take it away and expect your DS to be fine if he's been conditioned by you to expect that. But you could definitely try explaining that he is no longer a baby but a big boy now and that big boys need to learn how to sleep through the night etc. I would say you have to be prepared for it to be difficult, but the most important thing is that whatever you decide to do - to be consistent and firm, but still loving so he doesn't think he's suddenly being abandoned etc. I always am in awe of Mums who have had sleep deprivation for that long, I personally couldn't handle it after a few months which is why we did the training when we did. Good luck and perhaps you could also consider using a sleep specialist to help you decide what the best way forward for your situation is.

Hi Appletiser. I will tell you what I did. Many mothers on here will disagree, but this worked for me and my life and my relationship with my youngest daughter drastically improved after she started sleeping through the night. I was always so exhausted and I was breastfeeding her sometimes 10 times a night until she was just about 24 months! Once she reached two, I just decided I wasn't going to do it anymore. Every time she woke up at night and cried for the breast, I threatened to send her out of the room to sleep with the maid or I just threatened to kick her out of the room. I would actually ask her if she wanted to leave the room in a very angry voice. She cried a lot, but I decided never to give in. If her cries were in the middle of the night, they didn't wake up my other child. However, from 4:30 am, I had to remove her from the bedroom so she wouldn't wake up her sister. I'd force her and myself to start our day at 4:30 am because I was not going to give her my breast to get an hour or two of extra sleep. There was many a morning where we woke up at 4:30 and she'd be napping by 10:30 because she was so tired. It didn't even take very long to get her to sleep through. I figured that by the time they are two, they can understand what you are saying to them and they understand threats. I am now pregnant with number three. Although I hope he'll be a better sleeper, I have strong doubts that he will be so I will do the same thing with him if he is still not sleeping through by 24 months. <em>edited by AnonDubai on 14/05/2012</em>