Anyone see Cecile de Scally for Sleep Training?

I am glad it worked for you Sydney girl and that in your case it didnt have to be more traumatic for anyone than that. I am also not trying to win the mother of the year award. All I asked for was some caution with these methods so that they are not used unnecessarily.I am not judging , just expressing a concern. It is obviously an infected subject so lets drop it to not cause further upset.

I'm totally with you sydneygal. Motherhood can be very difficult and what mothers need is support, not judgment. This is a great article: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/5921854/Mothering-as-a-competitive-sport

As Daza said, most people who do any kind of sleep training do a lot of research on the subject. I for one was certainly worried my DS couldn't sleep for more than 45 min at a time, especially when he was so tired and when it affected his feeding. I don't think ignoring that and hoping he'd work it out on his own eventually would have helped at all. And yes, we tried co-sleeping and every other attachment style option and they just didn't work. Also, CIO does not have to be extreme. For us it was basically one night of 20 min crying and we settled him after with lots of cuddles and telling him it was sleep time. He seemed so desperate to sleep and then once he worked it out he was so much happier in every sense. And we were too...almost 7 months of sleep deprivation was a killer and I'm not ashamed to admit we couldn't cope. Kudos to you scandinaviangirl that you could survive long term lack of sleep, but that doesn't make you a better mother. A happy mum equals a happy baby, and a baby who sleeps well is a happier baby too in my opinion. This topic will always invite heated conversation, as will BFing vs formula feeding...again I'll repeat we should be more supportive of one another as mothers and less patronising and judgemental if someone else's parenting style differs from ours. It happens everywhere, on a different note I often get judged for not putting my 20 month old in nursery yet...it never ends!

Daza, again: I am only concerned that it seems far too common to use this method and believe that children need time and lots of patience from us to settle into their routines naturally without forcing them with extreme methods. I am glad that your friends have made informed decisions. I notice that many mothers maybe worry too soon and too much about their childrens sleep. Thats all. <em>edited by Scandinaviangirl on 10/01/2013</em>

I'm not taking it as a personal attack, I haven't done CIO with any of my children and the last two didn't sleep through the night until they were well in to their second year. However, everyone has different circumstances and tolerances. I am a SAHM who has never needed to get to work the next morning so I've been lucky enough to be able to snatch sleep here and there during the day when the sleepless weeks turn in to months and beyond. The tone of your email suggests to me that you think that people who do sleep training haven't done the research and made an informed decision that works for them. Everyone I know who has done sleep training has not done so lightly and their decision has certainly not been based on ignorance.

Daza, this is not a personal attack. As I said: I am just concerned that CIO seems to be used too quickly. And as you say : googling for sure doesnt make you and expert on parenting or how to handle your children. All children are unique. Only you know what is best for your child. You have instincts that help you make wise choices. That is why I dont think we should 1 ) ignore our instincts ( which I think you must do to manage a few nights of sucessful CIO ) but work together with our children instead of against them 2 ) be sceptical to temporary, extreme, trends and maybe be a little more gentle with the little ones.

We all have a different way of doing things Scandinavian girl. There may well be some aspects of how you choose to parent your children that others may find wrong. You may have two children yourself and like to google but that doesn't make you an expert on someone else's life or their child. All I am saying is that I believe we should be very careful not to spend our lives judging others parenting decisions.

I am happy if your children are happy and content. I just think it is a truly disturbing trend that people seem to jump to sleep training far too quickly without understanding the psychological consequenses. I have a number of friends who adopted children wondering why their adopted child was ' such a good sleeper' and didnt cry in the night, as opposed to their biological children. They then realised the babies hadnt got any attention or anyone responding to their needs in the orphanages they had been to before being adopted. Read this article on how obsession with a babys sleep has become really unhealthy in the modern, western world. http://www.evolutionaryparenting.com/sleep-a-misguided-and-unhealthy-obsession/. Or this : http://libaware.economads.com/sleepwithme.php . It could help knowing that its normal if a baby wakes up a lot and that it takes time to establish good sleeping habits. I think parents stress too much and must control everything. I think it is somewhat alarming that so many are happy to provide their children with all the expensive toys in the world, best education etc but are not willing to provide them with the basic needs that they deserve from an early age. All I am saying is that I believe we should be very careful to use extreme methods apart from extreme cases with seemingly no other alternative. <em>edited by Scandinaviangirl on 10/01/2013</em>

i agree with you sydneygal, i had to sleep train my son at a young age as he did not sleep AT ALL. he is now 7 months, has slept from 6.30-7 without waking since he was 4 months and sleeps for 3 hours during the day. he is such a content and happy little boy and always has a smile on his face. what worked for us, may not work for others.

This topic is always a controversial one and at the end of the day we all need to do what is right for us, without guilt or judgement. My DS was a nightmare sleeper, waking every 45 min through the night to be rocked to sleep, or given the dummy at every sleep cycle. As a result he was so overtired he could barely nap in the day and it affected his feeding too. Co-sleeping is not always the answer either...we tried that and he still woke every 45 min and in fact thought it was playtime with Mummy in bed! We consulted with Cecile and almost overnight DS became a brilliant sleeper....he literally went from waking that often to one night of crying for 20 min - angry protest crying - and being settled by us, then sleeping through the rest of that night! In the week that followed be napped better and would maybe wake up once or twice and be back asleep within a few min. From that point we could put him down wide awake and he would quite happily go to sleep by himself.....and would always wake with a big smile. At 20 months now he is a happy, intelligent, secure and affectionate toddler who sleeps 3 hours during the day and 12 hours at night. I am a SAHM and he lives in a very secure environment and I firmly believe that the little bit of CIO we did has not harmed him one iota. My point is that as parents we all want what's best for our children and we have to do what is right for us whether that be CIO or co-sleeping, what works for one won't work for another. Less judgment and more support for one another....

I was googling something completely different with regards to parenting and ended up here on this old post. It is surprising to see that the pro CIO's get so defensive when questioned. It is a method that should, if at all, be used with caution. It is an extreme method, for only extreme cases of sleep problems. Someone who used the CIO method described it as "heart breaking," naturally so as you have to fight the strong will to respond to the childs need. To go against those maternal instincts proves that it is wrong. The method does ' work". Of course it does. But to what price? That your childs first lesson in life is that the people ot depends on ignores them? Although they stop crying, they still have the same needs, they have just given up hope that anyone will listen, causing alot of anxiety. I have worked alot with mothers and babies and studied a fair bit of infant and toddler psychology. It IS hard and tiring to be a parent sometimes, but it comes with the job description of being a parent that there are some difficult times to deal with, and lots of sacrifices and compromises to make. I know, as the mother of a colicky baby boy who woke up every hour until he reached 6 months even after his colic was cured. I also have a very calm and happy baby who never had any tummy problems that still, wakes up a few times per night. It is normal. It can take up till 2 years until a child can actually sleep through the night. It seems to me that 1) we have become so detached from what is natural when it comes to parenthood and 2 ) we have not got realistic expectations on what a child is able to do at a certain age. According to anthropologists, babies sleep with their mother in most cultures and its only in the industrialized , western world that sleep has become a private affair. If it is natural for a baby to be close to its mother, is it then strange that they cannot sleep alone? Apparently, in 186 cultures do babies sleep together with their parent until they are at least one year old. I had both my boys in my bed next to me as it kept them calm and harmonious and prevented them from crying. Easier for me and happier babies. Why force them into habits that they are not designed for? <em>edited by Scandinaviangirl on 10/01/2013</em>