A dilema or not re maid reference? | ExpatWoman.com
 

A dilema or not re maid reference?

212
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:32

So maid has had an interview with a western family to look after a young baby (mum going back to work) and she has told me they want to call for a reference.

So here is my own moral dilema. I wouldn't employ a maid with zero child care qualifications to look after a young baby. Yet i am about to be asked if the maid will be a suitable candidate. Whilst i do believe my maid would probably "OK" i do not feel she is qualified enough to deal with a newborn or if something were to go wrong.

Really i want to say to the caller "Are you completely off your rocker, how much do you value the life of your new baby that you are willing to leave it with an unknown quantity with no child care or medical training".

I also want the maid to find the right job for her and i'm not sure this is.

Shall i just say no and try to keep my trap shut when i get the call?

35
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 12:11
Soo many times i have said to her to find a job with just a married couple who work and need the house and animals taken care of. I would ask for previous experience if I was to employ someone to look after my dogs:D
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 12:06
Thanks everyone you have all confirmed to me what i thought and i feel much better now about being very clear, great feedback. Yes Sue B you are bang on, she's lovely on many levels but on many others a walking disaster and not the brightest bunny in the pack. Soo many times i have said to her to find a job with just a married couple who work and need the house and animals taken care of. As well as stating out right that she should not go for a job with young children. But true to form she doesn't listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After 10 years of maids/house boys i can't wait to be clear of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <em>edited by SarkySue62 on 29/01/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 09:17
I agree with Izzy. There is a way to say things. You can say she has done a good job with you with regards to the duties you gave to her but you could not comment on her childcare abilities as those were not part of the job with you. Yes this is a good response, so i'll leave out the "are you a complete numptie" part then? ;) Yes, maybe just that :)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 09:04
As others have said, be honest in her abilities and work she has done for you. As for childcare, you might say "I am not aware of any prior experience with children as it was not part of her duties or the requirements for me - so I canot comment on her abilities in that respect" You are being honest and upfront with the prospective employers and fair on your reference for her. It is up to the prospective employer to either do more research (go back to previous references), ensure that she gets some proper training and that she is properly supervised to ensure she is capable. If the new employer ASKS why you say something - you can comment that for yourself, in your own home, would want a child carer to have proper training at the very least (and experience if that is how you feel).
353
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 08:55
I am always saying things to my husband like, 'look at how that maid is looking after that child', 'that child isn't even wearing a seat belt', 'oh my word, that child is sat in the front of the car' etc etc. My husband simply says to me, 'it is not your business, it is their choice to do that. Unless you can see someone in immediate present danger, don't get involved'. Whilst we are humans and carry the caring gene, I guess we just have to let people make thier own mind up about how they do things themselves. You can't judge what is right for them. It is very stressful I know, I shudder most mornings when I see things that happen in Dubai and quite frankly am anti-maid when it comes to childcare but that is MY decision and I should respect the decisions of others if they choose that route. They after all have their own criteria that may be different to mine. I would simply be honest about how your maid is generally and then say I can't comment on her childcare abilities as she has not performed that role for me but I am sure that you can make your own mind up about her when you interview her. I am such a worrier and would be driving myself mad right now if I were you but I would have to listen to my hubby and concentrate on my own beautiful family. x
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 08:07
I do think you have to be honest in that you have not had her take care of a baby so you do not honestly know, but................I am assuming here that you think she would be incompetant taking care of a newborn and you personally would not have her take sole care of a newborn if the child was yours? I suppose you might ask if she will get newborn training with the possible sponsor as it should be required, ie, how long will the maid have before te mother goes back to work? anyway, if you cant be bothered say you have no idea....but....
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:53
Or suggest that they if you had small children, you would have enrolled her in appropriate first aid classes?
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EW GURU
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:53
...i can only judge on what i have seen over the last few years ... Totally agree, you can only give her a reference for the skills she has utilised while under your employ.
687
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EW GURU
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:50
No, don't keep your trap shut. It is in everyone's best interests to get her the job that best fits her skills. I think you've answered your own question. If it were me, I think to stay true to my own values, I would be honest about all her performance with you but say something along the lines of what you've told us below when it comes to childcare. For example: "Personally, I wouldn't employ a maid with zero child care qualifications to look after my young baby. And while I do believe my maid would probably be "OK" i do not feel she is qualified enough to deal with a crisis situation." Alternatively, you could say that you "have had no opportunity to judge her competency with babies as she's never had to look after them during her time with you". I would hope most parents would rethink her candidature even with this statement. Good luck with it.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:47
Whilst I understand where you are coming from. It's not your role in this case to question the judgement of the other employer in terms of their decision to employ someone without qualifications. Be honest about your maid and don't jeopardise her future.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:46
Be honest........ Dont say anything mean about the maid, but be honest - it's not fair to either your maid or the new family to lie. The new family get what they deserve and my maid needs a job. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror...... At that is the moral dilema Izzy exactly.
212
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:46
I agree with Izzy. There is a way to say things. You can say she has done a good job with you with regards to the duties you gave to her but you could not comment on her childcare abilities as those were not part of the job with you. Yes this is a good response, so i'll leave out the "are you a complete numptie" part then? ;)
2222
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:46
Be honest........ Dont say anything mean about the maid, but be honest - it's not fair to either your maid or the new family to lie. The new family get what they deserve and my maid needs a job. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror......
212
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:45
are you positive she has no prior childcare experience (at all?) All maids will tell you they have had prior experience with all sorts of things, i can only judge on what i have seen over the last few years and for me i would not leave a new baby with an unqualified maid.
271
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:40
are you positive she has no prior childcare experience (at all?)
121
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:40
I agree with Izzy. There is a way to say things. You can say she has done a good job with you with regards to the duties you gave to her but you could not comment on her childcare abilities as those were not part of the job with you.
212
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:40
Be honest........ Dont say anything mean about the maid, but be honest - it's not fair to either your maid or the new family to lie. The new family get what they deserve and my maid needs a job.
2222
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 January 2011 - 07:37
Be honest........ Dont say anything mean about the maid, but be honest - it's not fair to either your maid or the new family to lie.
 
 

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