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Going away with DH without the kids?

138

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 07:41

Ladies, how often do you go away with DH and leave the kids? I desperately need a break and some quality time with DH but I feel so guilty and worried about leaving the kids...They would be staying with my in-laws and our maid who is fab and knows our routine very well.
We were thinking of going for a long week-end, around 4 or 5 days max.
Have you done it?
Do you go often?
How do you get over the guilt?
(forgot to mention the kids age 7, 5 and 1. I am particularly worried about my 1 year old...)

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73

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 20:21

My LO hasnt even arrived yet and DH and I are planning a holiday for next year I think its important for you still to have couples time as at the end of the day your not just a mum but a wife and also need you time, I think its a great idea that kids can be left with grandparents as thats a very special bond for any child to have !

656

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 19:59

DH and I went to Cyprus for a long weekend when DD was 18 months old. The first day I felt really guilty and couldn't relax but the feeling soon goes away. I left DD with my sister and her family so I knew she was in good hands and having lots of fun with her cousins around. If you have the offer of help go and just do it. We all need a break at times.

77

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 11:56

I do a child swop with my sister during the summer. We are both teachers and so is her husband. I go home for 9 weeks in the summer. So she minds mine and later in the summer I mind hers. She goes for a few days with her husband. We have family holidays too though because as teachers we have long holidays. My husband has his own business so stays in Dubai and works long and late during the summer and takes a week so we can have a family holiday. But I go on a holiday with my other "child free by choice" sister running, hiking, kyaking, moutain climbing etc. We have a blast and this is a holiday that her husband would not enjoy as he is not a man who owns a pair of hiking boots!! We laugh so much and I do not feel guilty as my kids adore staying with my sister, her husband and their cousins. I love when I mind her kids and "child free by choice" sister comes and helps me out. It is a win win situation. So go enjoy yourself! I know I do.

2725

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 11:53

As kids we were sent up to scotland, great memories spending time with my 6 cousins, running in the fields, picking potatoes, getting chased by bulls, playing in the farm barns, oh I wish I could be young again.

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Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 11:45

I remember my Grandparents lived ont he edge of a wood and it was great fun we'd walk our dog in there for hours and climb up all the look out/observation posts looking for deer/foxes ect...., my gran would always make afternoon tea with loads of cakes .... mmmm all kinds of tea cakes and ring iced biscuits, it was like afternoon tea for kids :) They also had a stream that ran under their drive way in and a big willow tree in the enterance garden :) I loved that house

117

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 11:02

I would say GO GO GO. I also had the opportunity to spend a few weeks with grandparents when I was a child. I have the best memories ever from those times, mainly because there were very few rules to follow at home while parents were away. Hehehe... Like getting an icecream whenever I accompanied my grandfather to the paper shop at 06:30 or eating crisps spread with marmalade for breakfast? :-)

2958

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 09:41

Thank you ladies! Looks like we are going to do it! I guess taking 4 days out of 365 days in a year is not such a bad and selfish thing to do. Need to feel like a wife and not just a mum for a few days:) Excellent - so.......where do you think you'll go????? I'm very envious!

184

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 09:36

I would say GO GO GO. I also had the opportunity to spend a few weeks with grandparents when I was a child. I have the best memories ever from those times, mainly because there were very few rules to follow at home while parents were away. Hehehe...

117

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 08:49

Don't look on it as leaving the kids behind... they'll gain something too building their own special relationship with their grandparents and a store of special memories. Due to family circumstances I spent many of my summers as a youngster with my grandparents and I've always looked on them as privileged times. That special relationship lasted in the case of my sole grandmother through to the early years of my first born, I think my mother was slightly jealous of our closeness even though she had a good relationship with her mother!

2725

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 March 2011 - 00:09

Ive left my 2 when they were younger, its good to get time away with OH. Maybe try and go away somewhere local. I was at Hatta Fort this weekend such a lovely place to get away to. Im sure your family will be fine looking after the kids, some nanna and Gramps time, they will be spoilt rotten. Try and not feel guilty about leaving them. It was never a hardship on my 2 when we left them. Go and have fun, the kids will be ok.

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 22:20

good for you Frenchie....squeeze every little bit of enjoyment out of your time together AND no guilt lol

1617

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 21:40

Have to admit I'm the sort of rubbish mother whose DD always has to take pitta bread and Humus to school for her lunch on Thursday as there's generally no other food by then, so mine might not be the best advice! I'm fairly strict about this...DH and I always have two lots of two weeks every year when our DD goes to her grandmothers...we usually have a two week holiday doing stuff she'd hate (heavy duty sighseeing on our own) and two weeks at home just the two of us. We've been doing this since she was 2 (now 8), but as I say, I'm bread and humus mum!!

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 20:13

Go and have a wonderful break with your dh quality time as a couple is important. Yes you are a family but you must also remember that you are also a couple. You were a couple before becoming a family and you can combine the two. Mind you you do spend a lot of the time saying "I wonder what the children are doing now" LOL

Freckles 128127

787

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 20:07

What ARE you on about woman????? I would chop my right arm off for some time away with just me and Mr Freckles...or even just me!!!! Go....enjoy...buy them presents while you are away! Take the opportunity while you can. Remember what your life was like when it was just you and Mr Frenchy and enjoy it! Your kids will miss you but they will be there when you get back and so will all the other day to day drudgery. Take the opporutnity and run!

237

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 20:01

Great Frenchy - go and enjoy, you deserve it ! We went once when my LO was just 1 and he was absolutely fine - spoilt by granny and gave me the cold shoulder when I got back only for an hour or so - I really missed him but had a fantastic time skiing with DH, it was a real treat but deserved after one year of baby routine ! And don't worry - of course he can't remember me going so that age is fine, as long as they are happy and looked after they won't hold it against you. We also went for 5 days to NYC when the older one was about 4 and younger one was 2 and again it was a treat for them to have granny (with my brilliant maid) looking after them. But I always keep in touch and speak every evening if possible before bedtime (or morning) but more for my peace of mind really. I read an article somewhere and it said how it is good to have a few days away occasionally without the kids and it's important for a couple so it's not always just about the kids etc .... so enjoy and you will be so excited to see them when you get back :)

138

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 18:40

Thank you ladies! Looks like we are going to do it! I guess taking 4 days out of 365 days in a year is not such a bad and selfish thing to do. Need to feel like a wife and not just a mum for a few days:)

87

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 12:33

the guilt never lets you relax!

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 12:32

good heavens, an extended weekend away with your husband for 4 days is not like taking a 2 week hols and leaving the kids with the maid :).....For a good majority of people, taking time to reconnect is a good thing, does not mean you are not a family, it just means you will be more connected partners. Then again, some can never see themselves separate from their kids and thats fine too :) If you feel guilty (please don't though, reconnecting with your marriage is a very normal thing) you can always promise your kids that they will get 4 days away as a family the next time :)....everyone wins.

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 12:21

Never - if we'd wanted childless holidays we wouldn't have had children !! lol

Pomegranate35436

867

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 12:18

Go, go, go and enjoy! The reason you have your children is your relationship with your DH, without him they wouldn't be around, so go away together and enjoy! so many marriages put the children first and they are the focus of, neglect the marriage and that's when the trouble starts. Sometimes people are scared to leave the children behind as they deep down know they don't have anything in common anymore with their spouse, their only connection is the children. when the children are grown and leave home, so many marriages break up as people reailse they don't know who their spouse is. Just my view , am certain you will get others you see things differently, anyway have a great time!

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 11:34

We have never done it, although we have been tempted, it just does not seem fair, we are a family.

761

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 11:27

Probably the best holiday I've ever had was when DH and I went to Rome when the kids were 5 and 2. It was brilliant, I didn't feel at all guilty, as they were with MIL and maid and enjoying their usual routine. Sure I missed them, but not a guilty feeling. Some mums (imho) are better mums when they can take time out. I think it helped that I really needed a break and knew that all the things I was doing wouldn't have been possible with a stroller! DD gave me the cold shoulder when I returned but it was only for about an hour!

2958

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 10:40

Never. DH says we are a family and holiday as a family. That's nice but......oh my God - I would absolutely LOVE for my 2 to be able to spend 3, 4 or 5 nights with their grandparents - how special that would be.....and how amazing to be able to take a holiday without them! I used to spend a big chunk of my summer holidays when I was little with my grandparents and I absolutely LOVED it! I still remember the special times we had together. Frenchy - put away those feelings of guilt - you are giving your children some amazing quality time with their grandparents who will treasure them and enjoy every minute. You are very very lucky and I would be in that car with my bag packed without a moments hesitation. 5 days on my own with my husband - Oh My God!!!!! It will be good for all of you - everyone wins - you get some me time, your husband gets to spend time with his wife - not mummy to the kids, your kids get to be pampered and adored by their grandparents and your parents in law will have some very special time with their grandchildren with the added bonus that your housemaid can help them with the extra work. Lucky lucky lucky you - get that break booked and don't feel guilty at all......

353

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 09:22

Never. DH says we are a family and holiday as a family.

122

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 07:53

Hi Frenchy My kids are 4 & 2, and we go away at least twice a year, just locally maybe RAK or fujariah. My in laws or my parents are here and we take off for maybe 3 nights. Its heaven, of course i miss them, but they are great with there grandparents having fun. The first time i felt guilty but after the first day away on the beach reading a book, i soon lost that guilt lol Have fun

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 12 March 2011 - 07:47

Mine are grown so not alot of help now but when little we didnt have any money lol...so going away was not really an option.....having said that.... the guilt. Mums are made to feel guilt over so many things and we guilt ourselves even worse (hmm is that a proper sentence lol) so , enough with the guilt ;)...you deserve time away with your husband to get busy without the kids, time to relax and rejuvenate and just be a wife and lover for a few days. Your kids are in great hands you said and they will be fine (horrors!!!) without you lol...and think how great, relaxed and happy you will be when you get home (INCLUDING YOUR HUSBAND!!!) :)

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