Just dont know if im done yet........

I think the OP was just joking about going down the oops route. I agree, its like a guy telling a woman he is using protection but actually not and deliberately getting her pregnant against her will. Total betrayal of trust in a relationship and truly could affect his relationship with the child. So in the spirit of the original question: For most guys the concern with having more kids is financial, and it is a reasonable concern, they will have to work harder and for longer to provide for anther child and they might already be working as hard as they can, the stress involved in this is extremely high and it might mean he doesn't meet other goals in his life. He might also worry that a 3rd child would be the odd one out, and create disharmony which can happen in 3 children families. If you are sure you want a third child, the best time to bring it up would be on a day when the kids have been really lovely, he is feeling relaxed and happy, and say something like "I love these kids so much, wouldn't it be nice to have another?" Have some reasons why "the children can play together, it will teach the youngest how to be responsible, they will socialise better etc etc" and listen to any reasons he has for disagreeing. Don't give a reason like "I miss having a baby, the others have grown up too fast" he won't agree based on nostalgia. You will have to acknowledge that you agreed to 2 (I know I agreed to two but I really feel like our family would be even better with 3, we make lovely kids don't our think, you're such a good father?" etc and also say "If you really don't want more then I will be really disappointed but I guess I'll have to accept that". You have to acknowledge it is a joint decision (and it is). Presumably he doesn't regret that you had the second child, so he might surprise you by agreeing to more so long as you acknowledge his right to decide. <em>edited by kiwispiers on 04/06/2011</em>

Another one here who wouldn't go down the oops route. Personally, I would just enjoy your kids- you never know what the future may bring! I never knew how many kids I wanted, and DH thought 2 would suit him fine. We had 2 ( a boy and girl) and we were really happy. 8 years later,we welcomed #3 into our lives,and 4 1/2 years later again,we have just welcomed #4. Did we see this in our future? No. Are we super- duper happy? Heck yeah! Really,who knows what the next 10 years will bring you,and I have to say I really do believe in what's meant to be- is. <em>edited by sgilli3 on 03/06/2011</em>

Just enjoy your LO for now. This time is too precious - 'don't put today's sun under tomorrow's cloud':) I agree with Scottish Gal's suggestions. There are so many larger families in Dubai, that it makes having two kids feel like a small family and having a third, just the norm. Back in Australia, nearly every friend has 2 kids, and having 3 kids is a big family, and rare:) I know my DH wants him and I to share some special time together, and that gets harder the younger or bigger the family, IMO.

Why don't you wait until your 6 month old is sleeping through the night and doing lots of really cute things then have a nice family day with lots of laughs and ask him! My husband always said he wanted 2 or 3 and now we have DD he wants 3 or 4, I on the other hand am more set at 2 but won't really know until we have 2. Also take into consideration where you are from/want to settle when they go to school. Here for example gas is cheap so we can afford to drive big cars and for us work will pay school fees, where as trying to fit 3 kids into an economical car in the UK with all the bags and car seats these little people come with is a different story but that's for me, it depends on your circumstances but it might be something your husband is considering.

ahhh... sometimes selfishness is good in life. These are little babies we r talking about, not cars or watches :) I for one am real selfish then and quite happy with it :) Besides, once they are made, what do u do? put them back in? Cant do much but love them and kiss them and lose sleep for a few years :) and this fantasy attitude can put such strain on a marriage for years. Why should one person be forced to become a parent and take on the additional financial responsibility if they don't want to? Doesn't set the scene for a happy household that's for certain. Thank you for assuming stuff about my household pormegrante. I think u r bl00dy rude. Anyways, i am entitled to my opinion whether u like it or not. god forbid ppl like u ever get mistakenly pregnant.. i would feel sorry for the kid.. that is if it got past the pregnancy! Whether I have 1 kid or 10, I know my DH would accept it, and I know for a fact that he would look after that baby with love ad respect regardless of whether he wanted it or not. So if u dont know my family background, kindly keep ur stupid thoughts to urself. edited by shaf on 02/06/2011 :) wow, you've shown yourself to be a very touchy person - didn't mention your family specifically [b'>at all[/b'> so why all guns blazing about my own personal circumstances? I think you've shown yourself to be the one with stupid thoughts - you've actually written that you would "feel sorry for my kid...that if it got past the pregnancy"...sorry lady, but you sound pretty evil. If you take the time to read closely, I was referring about [i'>your view/advice to the OP[/i'> (which for many other couples just wouldn't be realistic) in relation to the OP's issue, no-one has mentioned a mistaken pregnancy, it has been suggested that the OP gets pregnant on purpose without informing her DH of her own decision - there is a difference. Go and have a glass of wine and calm down! :) edited by Pomegranate on 02/06/2011 How daft are u pomergranate? If u quote me then u r referring to me. I am touchy, and u are rude. Oh yea and very evil.. so watch out! I dont even know why i bother responding to ppl like u..

ahhh... sometimes selfishness is good in life. These are little babies we r talking about, not cars or watches :) I for one am real selfish then and quite happy with it :) Besides, once they are made, what do u do? put them back in? Cant do much but love them and kiss them and lose sleep for a few years :) and this fantasy attitude can put such strain on a marriage for years. Why should one person be forced to become a parent and take on the additional financial responsibility if they don't want to? Doesn't set the scene for a happy household that's for certain. Thank you for assuming stuff about my household pormegrante. I think u r bl00dy rude. Anyways, i am entitled to my opinion whether u like it or not. god forbid ppl like u ever get mistakenly pregnant.. i would feel sorry for the kid.. that is if it got past the pregnancy! Whether I have 1 kid or 10, I know my DH would accept it, and I know for a fact that he would look after that baby with love ad respect regardless of whether he wanted it or not. So if u dont know my family background, kindly keep ur stupid thoughts to urself. edited by shaf on 02/06/2011 :) wow, you've shown yourself to be a very touchy person - didn't mention your family specifically [b'>at all[/b'> so why all guns blazing about my own personal circumstances? I think you've shown yourself to be the one with stupid thoughts - you've actually written that you would "feel sorry for my kid...that if it got past the pregnancy"...sorry lady, but you sound pretty evil. If you take the time to read closely, I was referring about [i'>your view/advice to the OP[/i'> (which for many other couples just wouldn't be realistic) in relation to the OP's issue, no-one has mentioned a mistaken pregnancy, it has been suggested that the OP gets pregnant on purpose without informing her DH of her own decision - there is a difference. Go and have a glass of wine and calm down! :) <em>edited by Pomegranate on 02/06/2011</em>

ahhh... sometimes selfishness is good in life. These are little babies we r talking about, not cars or watches :) I for one am real selfish then and quite happy with it :) Besides, once they are made, what do u do? put them back in? Cant do much but love them and kiss them and lose sleep for a few years :) and this fantasy attitude can put such strain on a marriage for years. Why should one person be forced to become a parent and take on the additional financial responsibility if they don't want to? Doesn't set the scene for a happy household that's for certain. Thank you for assuming stuff about my household pormegrante. I think u r bl00dy rude. Anyways, i am entitled to my opinion whether u like it or not. god forbid ppl like u ever get mistakenly pregnant.. i would feel sorry for the kid.. that is if it got past the pregnancy! Whether I have 1 kid or 10, I know my DH would accept it, and I know for a fact that he would look after that baby with love ad respect regardless of whether he wanted it or not. So if u dont know my family background, kindly keep ur stupid thoughts to urself. <em>edited by shaf on 02/06/2011</em>

I am all for being selfish about dinner, a holiday, a car or a trip to the cinema, but the number of children you have will affect the course of the rest of his life, not just yours. You can try to convince him and see if he changes his mind but knowingly taking any one-sided action would be unfair - and unforgivable! - in my opinion. Sure, you have always envisioned 3 - but what about what he wants? You could win another child but end up with an empty and resentful relationship. Personally I think you'd be better off skipping the debating, begging & arm twisting - and making peace with having 2... for now!

I also would not go down the 'Ooops' route. Try and work on your DH if it means that much to you, but if he is adamant that he wants no more than I think you have to respect that, after all, you both agreed to meet eachother half way on this. A baby is life changing, if your DH does not want another one then I would not trick him into it. Good luck though in trying to persuade him! ;)

ahhh... sometimes selfishness is good in life. These are little babies we r talking about, not cars or watches :) I for one am real selfish then and quite happy with it :) Besides, once they are made, what do u do? put them back in? Cant do much but love them and kiss them and lose sleep for a few years :) and this fantasy attitude can put such strain on a marriage for years. Why should one person be forced to become a parent and take on the additional financial responsibility if they don't want to? Doesn't set the scene for a happy household that's for certain.

ahhh... sometimes selfishness is good in life. These are little babies we r talking about, not cars or watches :) I for one am real selfish then and quite happy with it :) Besides, once they are made, what do u do? put them back in? Cant do much but love them and kiss them and lose sleep for a few years :)

Thanks island girl, my mum and sisters have suggested the same thing. Lol ;) ill keep that in mind. hehehe Sorry to say but if you took this option it would be very selfish of you. Your DH wanted one, you have two, that is your compromise. If you push it further, you may face the rest of your life with some very undesirable consequences of your actions.

If you both decided to have just 2 children then you need to just have 2 children. I wouldnt accidently fall pregnant without DH knowledge, that would be so unfair. Try and get him in a good mood and try and get him wrapped round your little finger, us woman can work wonders!!!!!!!!!!

Haha! Sounds like my life! I wanted six, compromised on 3, but in my mind I compromised on 4.. 2 down, 2 more to go! (so glad he doesnt read EW! mwahahah!) And abortion is never an option.

Personally, I think you need to take your DH's feelings into consideration. You already have two children, and your DH only wanted one, which means that he agreed on that compromise to make you happy. I would not go down the Oops road. He could resent you for it or he could ask you to have an abortion. Understand his reasons for not wanting anymore and try to live with it.

ooh don't do that, just tell him you have gone off the pill and if he wants to get any, then he risks/agrees to impregnating you, then its informed consent and with no other choices, I think you'll get your way.;)

...oops...;)