Settling quickly at night - wishful thinking? | ExpatWoman.com
 

Settling quickly at night - wishful thinking?

332
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 17:44

Hi Ladies
My newborn has no problem falling asleep right after a feed during the day. In fact, she gets knocked out and it's actually difficult to wake her. BUT, come night time during her 10pm and 2am feed, the little darling is wide awake and starts crying when we try to put her down. Generally after her night feeds, her eyes are wide open but she usually stays quiet if she is held and shushed. We allow her to wake herself for her nightly feeds which tend to be 3 to 4 hours from the last time she ate. We don't believe in using the cry it out method. The little one is two weeks old - how do I get her to fall asleep at night the way she does during the day? Is it wishful thinking? Hubby and I are exhausted!
TIA

2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 12:03
The snip could make all the difference then, her latch might "look" fine and not be painful but still not be very effective, so I would get an experienced LC on board, all the "LC's" at my hospital said my Ds was latching fine but he wasn't. Its pretty normal for newborn feeds to take ages anyway though, DS now achieves in minutes what used to take him up to a hour. Once you've had the snip you might want to get rid of the bottles, while keeping a close eye on her weight, even with the slowest flow teats the flow is much faster and the difference will add to her frustration plus confuse her in how best to suck.
332
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 11:51
We had a referral to a general surgeon, our pediatrician was actually reluctant to send us as he said it wasn't affecting breastfeeding since my son had gained weight well, given that I had just told him that my nipples were bleeding I was close to strangling him but managed to remain composed enough to insist on the referral. ;) It was hard to watch but my son only really cried when they sprayed the anesthetic spray, it was obvious the snip itself wasn't painful and I could nurse him straight after, it did still take him quite a while to learn how to latch properly but we got there, nipple shields are a good idea if your baby won't latch at all or keeps popping off, mine just clamped down at got on with it :( Good to know : ) DS is latching on fine but she is a slow sucker and gets frustrated which causes her a lot of distress not to mention going hungry : ( As a result, I don't produce enough milk!
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 11:21
We had a referral to a general surgeon, our pediatrician was actually reluctant to send us as he said it wasn't affecting breastfeeding since my son had gained weight well, given that I had just told him that my nipples were bleeding I was close to strangling him but managed to remain composed enough to insist on the referral. ;) It was hard to watch but my son only really cried when they sprayed the anesthetic spray, it was obvious the snip itself wasn't painful and I could nurse him straight after, it did still take him quite a while to learn how to latch properly but we got there, nipple shields are a good idea if your baby won't latch at all or keeps popping off, mine just clamped down at got on with it :(
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 11:16
The LC that helped us at City was Doretta but i think she is gone back to SA. I'm a bit concerned that the stds or support at city seems to be dropping as they get busier . Anyways You can get the sheilds at most baby shops - might be worth getting a steriliser while you at it - cos you need to sterilize them before each use.Also nipple cream - cos if you dont place them properly (easy to do when you ahve a hungry baby) they can get a bit sore! And slowly as the LO grows and his tongue developes you can take them away and he will latch on eventually .... Oh I think they might still ahve the monthly mothers support meetings at city - every month - maybe try attending these or just called the maternity ward ask for the LC contact no and make an appointment - thier services are free is you deliver at city - well thats what i ws told And a predicatable routine - not a hard and rigid one - but one that you follow 90% of the time - thats the best thing you can do to keep sane and help you LO know what to expect and also easier for you to decify their needs It took us a long time to accept this simple truth but since we have - our lives are just so much better we follow it 90% of the time - cos lets be honest life doesnt allow for rigid routines - and we like living sponatneously every now and then - Goodluck - hang in there - sleep through the night is something you will get to enjoy again! Thanks meals. Hi SA Babe - that's super helpful, thank you. As for LC - I was also at City Hospital but she didn't advise me to get a nipple shield : ( I'll look into it - thanks again.
332
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 11:14
and get the tongue tie snipped ASAP, its a walk in walk out procedure, no worse than a vaccine (not that vaccines are fun) thanks kiwispiers, hopefully I can get this done on Thurs at the first ped appt : )
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 10:53
and get the tongue tie snipped ASAP, its a walk in walk out procedure, no worse than a vaccine (not that vaccines are fun)
332
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 10:20
Thanks meals. Hi SA Babe - that's super helpful, thank you. As for LC - I was also at City Hospital but she didn't advise me to get a nipple shield : ( I'll look into it - thanks again.
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 08:59
Hi No its not wishful thinking. Most of the replies seem to be spot on wrt to day and night confusion And at 2 weeks CIO is not an option! I used a book called - the babywhisperer answers all your questions The author adressed pretty much every question i had wrt feeding and sleeping - and by following the EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Your Time) routine (NOTE NOT SHEDULE) but a a routine ...so general order of doing things during the day - then he slept better at night Just note - every now and then he did have growth spurts usually lasting a day or two and then at 7 months when he was unto solids and walking - we had to re-adress sleep training - so not wishful thinking to expect them to settle into bed and stay in bed for 10-12 hours ....well for 98% of the time (I also visited a midwife called cecile de scally ) who helped us tailor a sleep solution and routine for us when he was 7 months. one more thing My DS was also had a tongue tie - The lactation consultant at City hospital helped us around this with nipple sheilds from medela - def alot easier than pumping! Thier services is free - so maybe give them a call / email and find out if they can help you
Anonymous (not verified)
0
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 08:59
don't put so much pressure on yourself and baby!! she's 2 weeks old! 3 weeks ago she was still inside you and now here she is in this big, bad world!!
522
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EW GURU
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 08:47
Ladies, thanks for your advice - all your points make sense. DD also has tongue tie Muzza1 so I have been bottle feeding. I think I had a mini break through last night but I don't want to jinx myself .. basically I decided to switch from feeding first followed by nappy changing to the other way around. At 10pm, I unswaddled her very gently and quietly and took her immediately to change her nappy. She was barely awake and by the time she started stirring and whimpering, it was time to feed. After burping, I swaddled her again and put her down in her cot. With a bit of gentle tapping on the back and a pacifier, she fell asleep within five minutes and was up at 2am where the same process was repeated. Like clock work, she started stirring at 6am. She didn't cry during the night but did whimper. Hubby is refreshed, I feel good and bub is more alert this morning and seems content : ) I hope this lasts!!!! Great news! Yep, definitely stick with nappy first, even if she's starving, she can wait one minute while you change her and then she'll settle right down for the feed and sleep :) Stick with it!
236
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 08:27
Yes it is wishful thinking:((( mine is two now, and sometimes she keeps us awake half the night:(
332
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 July 2011 - 07:37
Ladies, thanks for your advice - all your points make sense. DD also has tongue tie Muzza1 so I have been bottle feeding. I think I had a mini break through last night but I don't want to jinx myself .. basically I decided to switch from feeding first followed by nappy changing to the other way around. At 10pm, I unswaddled her very gently and quietly and took her immediately to change her nappy. She was barely awake and by the time she started stirring and whimpering, it was time to feed. After burping, I swaddled her again and put her down in her cot. With a bit of gentle tapping on the back and a pacifier, she fell asleep within five minutes and was up at 2am where the same process was repeated. Like clock work, she started stirring at 6am. She didn't cry during the night but did whimper. Hubby is refreshed, I feel good and bub is more alert this morning and seems content : ) I hope this lasts!!!!
50
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 22:05
Also I think when in the womb they are lulled by us walking around and then 'wake up' when we lie down - certainly both of mine were nightime kickers...and DD1 certainly took a while to find her day/ night rhythm as a newborn. Unfortunately they arrive without clocks! But she will get there and it doesn't last too long but it does feel that way. And they do realise after a week or so that they are being put down, having been warmly cocooned etc for 9 months. I went to see a LC with my first at my wits end (she had a tongue tie) and while doing the snip she also, sensitively pointed out to me, that no matter how comfortable a moses basket was, it took some getting used to when she had been 'with me' for 9 months. It will get better and trying to keep her less stimulated at night certainly helps. It does depend but I did co sleep with both mine in the demanding night phase largely to spare DH(!) but the need to do that did go after several weeks and they went back to sleep independently - depends on your view - for me in the end it helped with the newborn phase. Hope you get some rest soon.
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 19:38
what meals said :) Basically it takes them a while to figure day from night, and it sound like her clock is set backwards, try to give night feeds with little to no light (I kept a lantern torch pointed at the ceiling beside the bed so I had just enough light to feed in) try not to talk, don't spend too much time trying to burp, only change her nappy if she poos, more or less feed and pop back in her bed, only pick her back up if she cries. (CIO fan or not, CIO is totally inappropriate in a newborn anyway and won't achieve anything) Make daytime feeds completely different, open the curtains wide, turn on the lights, be animated and talk, sing etc. Feed her when she wakes by day rather than when she is due to sleep so she eats, plays (pretty much just being talked to for a newborn) then sleeps. It will help in the long run in avoid "feed to sleep" associations which can become an issue at about the 4 month mark and it also make it much easier for you to tell when she is tired, as you won't confuse it with being hungry although if she seems hungry again by nap time, by all means feed her again. Try to avoid a big stretch of sleep at any point during the day. It takes a while but she will figure out day from night soon enough, and you'll get marginally more sleep ;), Its a cliche but don't forget to sleep when she sleeps by day to make up for what you are missing at night.
522
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 18:10
As your LO is only 2 weeks old, I'd say there is a chance from what you've written that she has confused her day/ night routine. Try to feed during the day in a bright and noisy place, wake her fully, When she finishes a feed try to wake her (even just for a short time). While at night, whispers, quiet, darkness... This will encourage her to switch that behavior around so it's much more survivable ;)
429
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 July 2011 - 17:50
Does she sleep in your bed? After her feed, burp her and then let her just be. Atleast thats what we did with DD whose now 5 months old. After her feed, she is burped and then left in bed. I had a tough time with DS who at 25 months still cant sleep without me.. so dd has been trained to sleep on her own.
 
 

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