anger management | ExpatWoman.com
 

anger management

1381
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 05 March 2013 - 11:31

how should i deal with a very angry 11 month old?since i have returned from 2 months vacation back home he has started throwing temper tantrums and becomes very angry if i say no to anything.i thought due to change in atmosphere and seeing only me throughout the day is the reason for his behavior but its been 2 months now my patience is becoming thin...
i know you must be thinking 11 months is too young. he is normally a very smiley baby smiling at each passerby and even saying hi to them to get their attention. if he should not pick up or do things he shouldn't i just say a very firm no, then i pick him up and distract him...sometimes when i am saying no he just holds my finger( which i am pointing and explaining) and eats it from past few days if he is angry he just throws the things whatever he is holding in my face!! and he is such a screamer to get what he wants.i never cave in because i know it will only encourage this behavior. i keep on smiling and explaining throughout the day that once he goes to sleep in the night i just want quiet.i think screaming and smiling are two expressions he give now a days.i was about to put him in the daycare for 2 hrs so that i can start my driving lessons but this has put me off now. would staying apart from me would help him or will only aggravate the situation? i am really confused!!
sorry for such a long post but today i have finally got a chance.

1381
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 12:11
Hi I'm Dubai from Monday for two weeks and diary is filling up so please get in touch if you want to arrange a visit. how can i be in touch?
29
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 00:51
Hi I'm Dubai from Monday for two weeks and diary is filling up so please get in touch if you want to arrange a visit.
29
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 20:01
I hope it helps :) thank you nanny mac tee for the wonderful advice :) <em>edited by Nanny MacTee on 07/03/2013</em>
1381
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 06 March 2013 - 17:10
thank you nanny mac tee for the wonderful advice :)
29
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 March 2013 - 12:37
Hi angel joy, The other posters have posted some great advice. Re sleep, is your LO teething, this may be causing disrupted sleep at night even if he doesn't wake up? He is obviously enjoying the feeling of independence he gets from being able to walk and is using this to test the boundaries (normal developmental behaviour). It’s important to have realistic expectations about behaviour for a child of his age. However, it is better, (less distressing for all), to avoid situations which may trigger a tantrum by planning ahead, and adapting the environment, putting things out of reach. Also try reducing your language when you are explaining, as adults we sometimes use far too many words and the message we are trying to get across can get lost. It is important for boundaries and expectations to be realistic and age appropriate and for everyone to be consistent. Use a positive approach, stay calm, give praise when you observe the type of behaviour you want (positive reinforcement), try to ignore the unwanted behaviour (if it is safe to do so). Try to say what you would like him to do rather than what you don't want and then give praise and positive attention when he does so. Good Luck :)
1381
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 06 March 2013 - 12:04
thanks kiwispiers :) i am following redirection but some times he happily engages in other things and some times no! he want that particular thing only and then shows his displeasure by hitting or screaming.from where has he learnt that i don't know. we don't even switch on tv! i am trying different approach from today and lets see if that helps him. i am giving a week's time as he is normally very fast to catch up on routines. i saw those books in kinokuniya but couldn't even go through summary as ds started screaming. next time dh will be playing with him when i goto bookstore :) do tell me how's the book. <em>edited by angel joy on 06/03/2013</em>
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 March 2013 - 01:07
I just bought the no cry discipline book and the book raising boys, will give you my thoughts one i have read them. I think though that you would find the dr sears, good behaviour book very helpful and a lit if the tips are also on the dr sears site. Keep in mind that anger isn't your child being naughtier its him being emotional a d some children feel emotions more strongly than others. I would look closely at his diet and how much sleep he is getting as these can effect their mood a lot. Also look at what triggers his anger, are you saying no but not giving him an alternative? Leaving him confused and frustrated and unable to verbalise that? I don't think you can expect a lot of self control at that age and they are very much in a learning phase so try to teach rather than command. Eg if he touches something he shouldn't rather than sitting there saying no, get up and say we don't play with that, here come and play with this and physically lead him to something else of interest. Physical redirection is really important at this age. Also I think they get restless and need plenty of time out of the house to run around, especially boys to avoid boredom.
1381
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 05 March 2013 - 23:39
i am struggling with his nap times for now. i am also maintaining a gap of 3-3.5 hrs max but he fights sleep alot. we struggle for 30 min and he sleeps for 30 min :) afternoon nap he takes for 1.5 hr.then evening is again a struggle as he has recently started walking without holding so after dinner he just keeps on walking :D and playing with his dad. even if i pick him up for sleep he starts pushing me saying "papa papa" and gives us a big grin all the time. actually i go for a walk for 1.5 hr in the evening so after that he just doesn't want to sit still at all! i think time to take out no cry solution out!
200
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 March 2013 - 21:21
Hi Angel joy. My DD is 12 mo and thankfully none of this behavior is coming from her (yet?) but she does like to test the limits, turns and looks at me before she touches things that she knows shes not allowed to. At this age they really sort of 'explode' with heir learning and they come to know so much about the world and their place in it and how they can manipulate it, not with an intention to be naughty of course! I know you like AP style parenting (because i am an AP too) so why don't you look into getting the no cry solution for toddler discipline? There might be some tips in there you could use. I would get that should my DD start to act up. My other thought is that, at around 11 mo, these babies do like to drop naps. How many naps is he having and how long is his awake time btw naps? Are you sure he's not overtired? I think that's a large part of why my DD is so cheerful is that I am a real enforcer of naps and have put her on a tight nap schedule and she goes no more than 3 to 3.5 hrs btw naps. There ain't no way she's dropping that second nap till after she walks no matter how hard she tries!!! HTH
 
 

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