Advice needed PLEASE....

To be brutally honest i would be appalled if a school was suggesting holding back a year group to a normal bright child based on she's a little immature. She's 3!!! So much will change over the next couple of years it would have me questioning the EY department and their experience and knowledge of young children. I would be asking how they have come to this conclusion, what is it based on exactly, i would ask to see paperwork (assessment) and the critieria assessment was based on. Subject to response; I would then wipe the floor with them over their differentiation within the classroom and their apparent lack of understanding of it! Tell them she is staying within year group.

I went through school having been put up a year, and did fine academically; still wouldn't do it to a child of mine, even if they were a superbrain. There is a lot more to school than academics. Actually currently having the opposite dilemma, whether to hold DD back, rather than have her start as one of the youngest in her year group - I think she's bright (so far as you can tell at 3!) but she is young for her age. Just so difficult to tell 6 months out..... Put her in the correct year group stop fussing, she will be fine, she will end up frustrated if you hold her back later on if she has half the brains her mother does! Flatterer! it isn't me fussing, it is school suggesting, and they want me to decide by the end of March. And there are pros and cons...... it is difficult.

I went through school having been put up a year, and did fine academically; still wouldn't do it to a child of mine, even if they were a superbrain. There is a lot more to school than academics. Actually currently having the opposite dilemma, whether to hold DD back, rather than have her start as one of the youngest in her year group - I think she's bright (so far as you can tell at 3!) but she is young for her age. Just so difficult to tell 6 months out..... Put her in the correct year group stop fussing, she will be fine, she will end up frustrated if you hold her back later on if she has half the brains her mother does!

I went through school having been put up a year, and did fine academically; still wouldn't do it to a child of mine, even if they were a superbrain. There is a lot more to school than academics. Actually currently having the opposite dilemma, whether to hold DD back, rather than have her start as one of the youngest in her year group - I think she's bright (so far as you can tell at 3!) but she is young for her age. Just so difficult to tell 6 months out.....

LOL always a pleasure (anyone got a hammer?) I can lend you mine. A stapler also does the job. ;)

FS2 and if you feel she needs to repeat then let her do so. goodness me! Do you know how much of a confidence knock a kid gets when they have to repeat a year?! Watching their friends progress while they are made to feel like some kind of unworthy dunce? Saw it too many times. I really can't understand this drive to push children into the year above. Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group. Putting an FS1 child in FS2 means that that child will potentially be over a year younger than the eldest in their class. Sweeping, know a few who have had to go back a year from leaving Dubai and it certainly has not knocked their confidence, they had to as the gaps were so big and i'm talking secondary. Also know of one who left here a year up having been a year up from another country and Dubai accepted that, now in UK and still a year up as exceptionally bright and just gained a 13+ scholarship to a top Uk school a year down in age from her peers! HK wrote [i'>"Putting an FS1 child in FS2 means that that child will potentially be over a year younger than the eldest in their class[/i'>" DUH that can happen in any year group! edited by Sticky Wicket on 14/03/2011 I grew up in a system where you had to resit a year if the teachers considered that you "could do better". Every single student lived in dread of that final staff meeting - even the "bright" ones. It was a source of shame and embarrassment for the children concerned. ... and if everyone stuck to their cut-off dates, there would be a maximum of 1 year's difference between eldest and youngest. DUH!

HK - "Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group" Then why do different schools have different dates in the same cirriculam? I am just trying to write a list of all the pros and cons so not trying to argue with you. Here, well, schools adapt the curriculum to suit, because they don't have to report to the UK's inspection body for compliance... In the UK, all schools have a 1st Sept cut-off, apart from Scotland who (in the opinion of my Head of Early Years friend and my Occupational Therapist friend) has a better system of staggered starting in reception years, so the eldest/youngest issue is less obvious. SW - I'd hope that arguing with me comes under "healthy and reasoned debate" rather than "only slightly better than nailing your eyelids to the desk". ;) LOL always a pleasure (anyone got a hammer?)

HK - "Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group" Then why do different schools have different dates in the same cirriculam? I am just trying to write a list of all the pros and cons so not trying to argue with you. Here, well, schools adapt the curriculum to suit, because they don't have to report to the UK's inspection body for compliance... In the UK, all schools have a 1st Sept cut-off, apart from Scotland who (in the opinion of my Head of Early Years friend and my Occupational Therapist friend) has a better system of staggered starting in reception years, so the eldest/youngest issue is less obvious. SW - I'd hope that arguing with me comes under "healthy and reasoned debate" rather than "only slightly better than nailing your eyelids to the desk". ;)

Anther thing to consider .... Whilst it might be acceptable to put a child in a year above itself in Dubai it is often not acceptable at other schools later on. I have a friend whose son had to redo a year when they returned to their home country. I cannot tell you just how badly it made him feel, to the point where he dug in his heels and refused to co-operate. He ended uprebelling and as a consequence did not make it to uni. Myfriend and her husband have never forgiven themselves. I'd say leave her in her proper year group now.

FS2 and if you feel she needs to repeat then let her do so. goodness me! Do you know how much of a confidence knock a kid gets when they have to repeat a year?! Watching their friends progress while they are made to feel like some kind of unworthy dunce? Saw it too many times. I really can't understand this drive to push children into the year above. Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group. Putting an FS1 child in FS2 means that that child will potentially be over a year younger than the eldest in their class. Sweeping, know a few who have had to go back a year from leaving Dubai and it certainly has not knocked their confidence, they had to as the gaps were so big and i'm talking secondary. Also know of one who left here a year up having been a year up from another country and Dubai accepted that, now in UK and still a year up as exceptionally bright and just gained a 13+ scholarship to a top Uk school a year down in age from her peers! HK wrote [i'>"Putting an FS1 child in FS2 means that that child will potentially be over a year younger than the eldest in their class[/i'>" DUH that can happen in any year group! <em>edited by Sticky Wicket on 14/03/2011</em>

HK - "Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group" Then why do different schools have different dates in the same cirriculam? I am just trying to write a list of all the pros and cons so not trying to argue with you. Good idea, arguing with HK is a painful process. LOL Just go for FS2 or fiddle the invoice!

HK - "Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group" Then why do different schools have different dates in the same cirriculam? I am just trying to write a list of all the pros and cons so not trying to argue with you.

I'm with HK and Green-ish. I remember being at an information night at DD's kindergarten where the principal of the local school was giving info about the transition to school. There were all these Mums worried about how their super bright kids were going to cope with being bored by doing pre-school. The principal was lovely and calm as he explained that little Johnny might be able to read and write already but school was about more than just academics and in his experience the "bright" kids were often the least able to cope with the sometimes brutal social aspects of school and were also often less physically developed (in terms of coordination etc). His preferred approach was to keep children in the appropriate class for their age and offer extension for the kids that needed it (those who were advanced as well as those who needed a bit more help). Knowing some of the mums and their children, I think his comments were spot on. Just something to think about.

FS2 and if you feel she needs to repeat then let her do so. goodness me! Do you know how much of a confidence knock a kid gets when they have to repeat a year?! Watching their friends progress while they are made to feel like some kind of unworthy dunce? Saw it too many times. I really can't understand this drive to push children into the year above. Each year is designed for an age-group and, if executed well, will cater for everyone within that group. Putting an FS1 child in FS2 means that that child will potentially be over a year younger than the eldest in their class.

@jules, for you i'd say fs2! :)

I personally would put her into FS1 in the better school.... its not like you'll be putting her a year back you'll just be putting her where she should be, and a better school will cater for her. If your DD is still advanced, there's still a possibility the school will recognize it later on and then put her in a higher year, but IMHO starting off in the right year group for her age is a good thing....

Or get the school to fiddle the invoice for you.

FS2 and if you feel she needs to repeat then let her do so.

I am having the same issue and school offered to take her even though she is only 3 days past cut-off. I want the best for my daughter and certainly at all cost, but to be honest, work will pay for school starting at FS2 and not for FS1. It will cost 30,000AED to keep her behind and that would be money we would put in her college fund. All of her friends are older and she has always been put in the the older classes. I feel very torn and hate to think of the money but it is a thought for me. What would you do? FS2.

it's also worth considering what effect (if any) it'd have on her current confidence... she, like mine, may be very confident amongst her peers (as one of the eldest) but be quite shy when amongst older children.

Go with FS1 option, allow your daughter to develop with children her own age. As has already been stated children develop at different ages and being the oldest in the academic year group is definitely better than being the youngest.

Thanks girls, you are the best and have given me a few things to think about. I dont know if there is a right decision though (and that is why its so difficult). I suppose only time will tell. I have a few days left to revert on an acceptance so any other thoughts/suggestions etc would be appreciated and well received! Bottom line is few of the schools in Dubai are overly academic and what are the chances you will be here for the next 7 years? At some point you will change schools and then if your DD is struggling or you feel re taking a year would be of greater benefit then she can do it when she changes school/moves country.

But did OP say that her child was exceptionally bright (to me meaning she has a very high tested IQ)?? I think she just meant her child was on the old side for her year group and may be more suited to F2 because not only is she old for the year but also bright for her age and so capable of F2 - since its only 10 days difference (not necessarily having an off the scale IQ but just switched on). May be wrong?

Of course it depends whether the child is bright as to how she will cope later on through the years! She only misses the cut off date by 10 days until recently a few international schools here had the date 15 of sept rather than the 1st as a cut off date. My point was that she should look to see if the school differentiates in the class room, and yes bright children can become bored out their brains without. If a child is bright they will be fine a year group up when the cut off is soo close. lol - the cut-off date has to fall somewhere. It's completely arbitrary. If the cut-off was the 15th of Sept and not the 1st, my DD would make it or miss it (depending on how you see it) by 1 day, but I wouldn't expect the rules to be bent because of my own opinion of my child's prowess. Also, everyone likes to think they have a "bright" child that can cope with being shoved a year up from her peers. Being "bright" doesn't mean to say that the child will be bored or under-challenged with the curriculum that is intended for her age-group (talking about British here)... nor does it mean that the child will just slot right into being the youngest as if it were nothing. I know plenty of very "bright" people who are socially challenged! Very bright people can and more often or not are by defintion socially challenged, wether they attended play group or not will have no bearing on the end result. The BC is not designed for all children or to cater for their needs (G &T). Anyway i'm sure this child will be just dandy skipping FS1.

We had a similar situation (6 years back). We went for the F2 option and wish we hadnt. If I were you I would consider the school before the year group. Reason I think this is that it is much better for a childs confidence to be one of the oldest in the year group, also remember that she will not be the only one that is in the oldest percentage of that class. Another thing to think about would be sports teams and after school activities - there is a big difference in the development (height etc.) of a child a whole year ahead, surely much nicer to have your daughter in a year group where she is "probably" going to make the swim squads, netball teams etc .. rather than possibly not makiing teams due to the fact that she is one of the younger ones and not quite able to keep up with kids over a year older than her. I think we were perhaps quite excited (and proud) by the fact the school thought she could go up a year to Foundation 2 but now really I think she would have been just as happy in Foundation One (wouldnt know any different) and she probably would have had a much better time of it and been given another year to develop emotionally. Come Year 3 and 4 many of the children begin to plateau out (or the gap between the exceptional ones and the rest seems to reduce) - I notice that some of the children that my daughter was miles ahead of mentally are now coming into there own and are just as good or even better in some instances. I was also told recently that older children in their year tend to fair better in A Levels (dont know if that is true or not) it did come from a teacher - although not in my daughters school. Along with that fact the children when they hit Year 3 are (in our school anyway) streamed so they are with the same ability - my daughter is in the high set for most (not Arabic) but majority of the kids in her stream are from the younger side of the class and so I really dont think pushing her ahead at Foundation 1 will make much difference. In the big scheme of things it will make no difference if she sits A Levels when 17 or 18, but perhaps if she sits then at 18 she may be more ready for them?? If its a good school they will cope with her and give her more challenging work (so that she wont be bored) than some of the others as I am sure they are used to dealing with children of varying standards and I am sure there will be a couple in her year group that are on the older side for the year and are also capable of going to F2 but due to school policy have not been able to. Good luck with which ever school you choose - sounds like shes a clever cookie so she will surely do well what ever you decide. Hope this helps a little Lxxx

Of course it depends whether the child is bright as to how she will cope later on through the years! She only misses the cut off date by 10 days until recently a few international schools here had the date 15 of sept rather than the 1st as a cut off date. My point was that she should look to see if the school differentiates in the class room, and yes bright children can become bored out their brains without. If a child is bright they will be fine a year group up when the cut off is soo close. lol - the cut-off date has to fall somewhere. It's completely arbitrary. If the cut-off was the 15th of Sept and not the 1st, my DD would make it or miss it (depending on how you see it) by 1 day, but I wouldn't expect the rules to be bent because of my own opinion of my child's prowess. Also, everyone likes to think they have a "bright" child that can cope with being shoved a year up from her peers. Being "bright" doesn't mean to say that the child will be bored or under-challenged with the curriculum that is intended for her age-group (talking about British here)... nor does it mean that the child will just slot right into being the youngest as if it were nothing. I know plenty of very "bright" people who are socially challenged!

Of course it depends whether the child is bright as to how she will cope later on through the years! She only misses the cut off date by 10 days until recently a few international schools here had the date 15 of sept rather than the 1st as a cut off date. My point was that she should look to see if the school differentiates in the class room, and yes bright children can become bored out their brains without. If a child is bright they will be fine a year group up when the cut off is soo close.

You have to decide if your LO will cope (be bright enough) to maintain being the youngest of her year if she jumps up a year group. I don;t know of any FS1 classes in Dubai that offer extention to the brighter students, it's very much play based, FS2 they start to play around with academics at most schools. A lot will also be dependant on the school. It's not about being "bright" or not... it's about the developmental and social maturity of the individual child. Also, play-based activities do not bore "bright" children any more or less than the children on the other end of the spectrum... how would you call them? The "thickos"?! :/: Play-based is best for a 3/4/5 year old's maturity. It's how they learn well and keep their interest in learning, develop their curiosity and remain enthusiastic. A good teacher/ school following the UK curriculum will know that part of it is to tailor to the individual child - making it interesting and educational for all levels and abilities. For the OP - my DD is a September baby so will be the oldest in her year group. Even though she's a bright little spark, I wouldn't consider putting her a year up. At this age, the difference in maturity between the oldest and youngest in a reception year-group is very noticeable, and from all my friends (one a head of reception in the UK, another an occupational therapist, others reception teachers), the eldest ones have a distinct advantage... or rather, the eldest have far fewer issues than the younger ones. Here she'll be doing 2 years of FS1 in her nursery and this year her rather wonderful teacher has tailored her classes with a "brighter spark" table (that only she knows about) where the kids do things that are a bit more involved than those who need more guidance.

Thanks Green-ish. She's currently in nursery and doing FS1 level "unofficially". Her nursery teacher has said she is ready for FS2 as well. Thats the dillemma....do we send her where she is the youngest or the oldest? She is very mature in both her actions and the way she communicates. I like: "If your preferred school has offered her a place in FS1, talk to them about how they plan to cater for her as an individual...how their teachers ensure every child is challenged and allowed to thrive. If you're not happy with the answers, then you go with the other school." so will look into this. Thanks! It depends how bright she is and the individual school.