I really don't like my husband any more

Well it is possible to fall out of 'like' with a partner or husband, and yours sure seems to be trying! Marriage is about being equals, and its got NOTHING to do with who is earning the money. Money = power have no place in something hugely personal like a marriage. You are his wife, not a lower ranking colleague. Therefore having 'first dibs' at choosing wha to do with 'his' money (where to go, how to spend it etc) shows he is USING the money that he thinks is HIS, not ours, (as in yours and his) to control you. It STILL doesnt mean he has the power though. No one can take your power away from you CarrieB. Because he earns and you dont yes he can control you but only you can hand over your power to him. I am surprised something like what you are describing has been noticed seemingly overnight. How long have you been here for? You say you're married over ten years, is this honestly the first you have seen of his character/ behaviour? People dont change overnight. There is something else going on with your marriage that is affecting all of this. What about you in all of this? Be honest even if its in the privacy of your own thoughts and self-examination. For the sake of saving a marriage and providing a stable home for your kids, think back to your own behaviour. I am not trying to accuse you or put you on the spot but ten years is a long time, and you've both been a part of this marriage. Where did this start, and what part did you play (or go along with, even, at the time) in this. The root of the problem seems to be a lack of respect, which is very hard to deal with on an everyday basis. And some of the things you describe show signs of a selfish person, another character trait that is unbearably hard to live with. It never gets better because it never gets easier to come 'second' as you seem to be in your partner's life. This will slowly, over time, erode your self-esteem and opinion of yourself, not because you are weak or a insecure person, but because thats the effect of constant, long term neglect and emotional inequality. You may, someday, agree with his low opinion of yourself, and thats the really dangerous aspect of being married to such people. From what you describe, I agree he sounds like an a$$ - making fun or deliberately opposing your lifestyle choices, having control issues, and being a standard show off! I am also wondering how much of his treatment of you has been picked up by the children. Dont think they havent noticed. On the other hand, you sound first class to me. A mum who is hands on with her kids and still prefers to do things herself for kids instead of palming it off on help (though nothing wrong with that), environmentally respectful, cleans up BEFORE the maid comes along (I thought I was the only batty person who did that!) and doesnt mentally equal a helper as a 'servant' as many people do. I hope you are able to resolve this in time. Sometimes, we outgrow the people we choose for a 'lifetime'. The best possible outcome would be if he learned to play catch up with you, it sounds like you are miles ahead of him.

Carrie, it sounds like you DH is taking you for granted and thinks he doesn't need to make an afford to make you happy anymore. Maybe taking a "break" and spending some time apart will help you and him to figure out what to do. If it is possible, could you take the kids and spend a few weeks back home with your family? Your DH says if you don't like his behavior you should just leave. He's saying that because he thinks you'd never do that. Maybe seeing that you take actions instead of just passively enduring his bulls*** will make him realize what's at stake. I went through a rough patch in my marriage last year and going home for a week was the best thing I ever did. It completely changed my DH's attitude towards me, because he took me for granted before. Being apart made him realize that he doesn't want to lose me. Now he's making a much greater afford to keep me happy. Sometimes men need drastic actions to wake up. Also I think that I earned back a bit of respect from DH by taking actions instead of just taking his cr** all day long. Hope you can work it out. Dubai does this to ppl. it seems. How long have you been here?

aside from being materialistic and maybe even a bit of a control type, do you feel the marriage is unbalanced? Do you feel he respects you? it does sound to me like the problems mentioned below are most likely comprimisable. dubai changes many marriages.

There is a Louboutin shop in MOE in the new section.

ok, found the stores that sell them. now i can drool properly when i get here.

what exactly is angering you? is he just buying random junk he thinks he needs? or is he getting obsessed with expensive highly branded items --when perfectly decent and reasonably priced items would be suitable? (for example, freaking out over having to go to jimmy choo because christian louboutin doesn't have the right size/colour?) btw, is there a christian louboutin here? i've been looking.