going insane

Hey again - as usual i've got myself in a bit of a state and put pressure on us both! i posted just after a miserable lunchtime and just needed a rant because i didn't want little chap to see a broken woman! thx for the advice - will def calm down a bit and see what he wants - that;s how i usually work things out - was just trying to keep up with the damn book - stupid really! sometimes the weight of responsibility seems rather heavy but only cos i care so much! must go as he's in my arms and getting wriggly! thx again...

I cross posted below with happymommy below, so sorry if that was a bit repetitive :), forgot to add that different books (or no books at all) work for different babies. I so wanted to do baby-led-weaning as per the book with my baby, but in the end for me, being "baby-led" meant following my baby's cues and spoon feeding him. At the risk of sounding like a complete hippy, 'your baby will tell you what to do.' :)

You are supposed to wait until around 6 months, some babies are developmentally ready a little earlier but it sounds like yours isn't one of them. Honestly if you force your baby to eat before he wants to, you risk setting up negative food associations which will possibly be ongoing. I think Gina Ford's sleep routines work well for many but I am skeptical of her recommendations re: feeding, especially for breast-fed babies. They do go against WHO recommendations in more ways than one. Readiness to eat solids is a developmental thing, just like crawling and walking, you do need to be patient and wait until your baby tells you he is ready :) (for some babies they may be more like 9 months old) When you say your baby "hates" pear puree, is it that he is pushing it out, has he lost the tongue thrust reflex?, if not he is not really ready. I started solids with my baby at 6 1/2 months, I ate a little myself and then offered a bit on the tip of my finger, my baby was old enough to sit unaided and could lean forward and take it off my finger. If you wait until your baby can do that you might just find he shows more enthusiasm for food when it is on his own terms. Being able to cope with textures is also a developmental thing, so my baby was able to go from smooth purees to chunky mash in just a week or 2 (so don't worry about having to catch up). From a nutritional standpoint, pear is a much better first food than baby porridge or sweet potato as your baby actually still has very little ability to break down starchy foods especially if you are not still breastfeeding so fruits in general as well as meats and non starchy vegies are all better and less likely to lead to constipation/gastric trouble. Banana's need to be very ripe (brown spots on skin) otherwise they are too starchy and can constipate. Babies like to eat what you are eating, maybe as an evolutionary mechanism to help them eat safe foods, so if you offer a little from your plate (actually eat it yourself don't just pretend to) and let him take some from your finger if he wants and just watch you if he doesn't then he will feel more confident about trying a food. I spent a month (from 51/2 to 61/2 months) just letting my baby lick a piece of fruit I was eating, and hold food in his hands and actually wasn't planning on introducing solids as early as I did, but he was just so keen and would grab my hand and pull it to his mouth when I was holding food. We fed from my finger for a couple of weeks then went for a soft spoon. From a nutritional standpoint, your baby can't absorb a lot of nutrients from solids and can actually be quite healthy entirely on milk until around 12 months. Formula contains a large amount of iron and the recommendations regarding iron stores are simply that from about 6 months they start to deplete in some babies not that they suddenly run out. The best way to counter this is to introduce meat early on once your baby is keen on solids. The worst thing you can do is "trick" your baby by offering a sweet food one spoonful and then switching to another for the next, not knowing what is going to be on the spoon is very unsettling and will break the trust necessary for accepting food. From a learning-to-communicate standpoint, your baby needs to be able to say no to food and be listened to. I know as mums we all worry but try to relax for a while, my baby was the very last to start solids out of all my friends and now eats the most and willingly tries anything while they are all playing "here comes the airplane". Sadly starting solids has not made him sleep one minute longer despite consuming large quantities. I didn't mean the above as a lecture, just some tips to get you started. I would personally just step back and stick to milk for a while (without the porridge) and then try again with fruit purees in a few weeks. Pear, peach, apple, banana (very ripe) or avocado. In the meantime let him watch you eat and chew and make mealtimes fun again instead of miserable. :) Good luck :)

First of all and most importantly: Don't stress and don't let yourself get stressed by book, routines and what other ppl say. The more you stress the more LO will pick it up and mealtime will turn into a fight rather than an enjoyable experience. For the first year milk is supposed to be the main source of nutrition and all solids are more for experiencing different textures and flavours and learning to swallow etc. The iron in the formula will be sufficient for a long time, if you're in doubt check with your ped. But it's certainly not the case that the iron stores are empty by 6 months and you HAVE to feed solids by then. Take it slow and just be happy when LO eats a spoonful or two. If Gina Ford doesn't work for you and your baby, then try to go by your own feeling. GF never met your baby, so how would she know what's right for you and him? Stick to one food for at least a week. Keep offering it again and again. It's all so new. LO might hate it on the first day and then end up liking it after a couple of days. Don't confuse him with too many new things. Keep it simple and do vegetable or fruit by itself first. Potatoe is quite hard to digest, so wait till a bit later with that. All babies are different and some are simply not ready for solids at 6 months. If it gets too stressful you might want to wait a few weeks and then try it again. Or maybe you could try baby led weaning if your baby doesn't like puree. You can do a search on here and will find a lot of good advise. Keep it fun and don't start a battle about the weaning. It's such an exciting process, it's important to establish a good relationship with food early, so focus on the fun factor more than the routine or books.

Am picking up this thread again because it applies to me!! I started trying to wean little chap on the 11th (not much patience eh?!) and so far it's not good. I've made pear puree, which he hates, sweet potato, hates and am dreading meal times because we both end up getting mortified. He seems to like his baby porridge (Aptamil) and am considering mixing purees in with this but am trying to follow the recommended Gina Ford and it's stressing me out because it seems it's such a rush job if I start from six months - he's six months on 20th. After that, there is the threat of his iron levels getting low. I thought we were supposed to wait til six months but now I feel I'm behind!! He's been breastfed (combining) til four months then on Aptamil exclusively til 11th. He's been feeding terribly since we got back from the UK on the 5th - was consuming much more then... but as he's happy and healthy I tried not to stress about it. What do others think / do pls - this is frankly miserable.

This is common + IMHO I don't think it's anything to worry about. You should look at what he comsumes in a week rather than daily, because some days he will eat quite a lot + other days nearly nothing but milk. As long as you are offering some variety + he is free to chose to eat it if he wants then that's enough. Their tummies are tiny at this age. Breast milk is their main staple until 12 months + you're obviously doing a great job on nourishing him with this. Is he happy + energetic, gaining weight + height consistently? If yes then I wouldn't worry! If you're worried about choking, I brought a little plastic device with a net at the end of a little handle. You pop a chunk of food into the net (banana/apple etc. + snap it shut + the baby holds it + chews + sucks the food through the net, so no lumps get through. I brought it from Mothercare + like it a lot. Other thing to think about is teething, it affect appetite + also I've noticed when a number 2 is due that can affect how my LO eats. If a poops is due then he has no apetite at all.

thanks Hello kitty.. i really needed some positive talk.. i always put myself under scanner of whether i am being a good parent or not that obviously is not helping me! Your little man thinks you're the best mummy in the world, ever, in a million years, and to be honest, who else counts?! ;)

yup, if you're not happy about the way it's heading, change it. Sometimes it has to be a case of tough love and what with breastfeeding him, he's not going to starve. Shelve the oats for a bit and concentrate on other foods. Either divide batches into small portions that you can defrost easily if he wants more or go for finger foods that wouldn't be a problem if you had to chuck them... or eat them yourself. Proper choking is actually really quite rare (as per the paramedic who did our infant first aid course who said he'd been called to one incident in 19 years), but gagging is frequent and is a very, very good (and strong) reflex that children have to avoid choking, in fact. Don't get him used to jars and pots either. Yes they're convenient on the go, but they're the baby equivalent of ready-meals, so unless you as a family eat ready-meals at every opportunity, then he's going to have to make the transition sometime soon. I'm also a firm believer in eating with your children, to show them the way. Try and do so and eat what he's having (or him eat what you're having) so that he can copy you and feel all grown up. so i should just shelve oats completely and be persistent on something else, like for a week? i really want to do BLW but somewhere mentally not prepared. But i think that's how it should be. If he explores on his own may be he will be more interested in eating it. And since i'll start with finger foods i'll as well eat along with him and give him big bites of what i am eating too! and that will help me in cutting down my salt and spices too :) no i'm not that big fan of outside food, and prefer eating at home, may be its just lentils with rice.. readymade jars are very very rare, when we've no other food option present. Thanks for replying ladies.. sometimes i feel so lost.. without friends, without any help or support!! Follow what you feel to be right. It seems that a lot of the success (or not) of the weaning experience (because they all get there at some point, don't they) is down to the care-giver's vibes. If you're someone who can't help expressions of disgust at the sight of fish, then your child will pick up on it, if you're jittery and worried, then the child's going to get stressed, wondering what's wrong... but if you're a parent who tuck in to their meals with gusto and eats a variety of dishes with equal enthusiasm, then kiddo is going to pick up on that. I grew up in France, where meal times aren't just about getting nutrition into you, but rather that they are important social events which should be enjoyable and relaxed.

yup, if you're not happy about the way it's heading, change it. Sometimes it has to be a case of tough love and what with breastfeeding him, he's not going to starve. Shelve the oats for a bit and concentrate on other foods. Either divide batches into small portions that you can defrost easily if he wants more or go for finger foods that wouldn't be a problem if you had to chuck them... or eat them yourself. Proper choking is actually really quite rare (as per the paramedic who did our infant first aid course who said he'd been called to one incident in 19 years), but gagging is frequent and is a very, very good (and strong) reflex that children have to avoid choking, in fact. Don't get him used to jars and pots either. Yes they're convenient on the go, but they're the baby equivalent of ready-meals, so unless you as a family eat ready-meals at every opportunity, then he's going to have to make the transition sometime soon. I'm also a firm believer in eating with your children, to show them the way. Try and do so and eat what he's having (or him eat what you're having) so that he can copy you and feel all grown up.

Like KKS said dont stress yourself, i was always told get back to basics. Maybe just keep some of the same food for a week or two and then change/add something new. Just a thought? Again its just a phase and before you know it it will be in past. :)

for 9 months old and fully breast fed a few spoonsfull of anything is more than ample. You are doing a great job, dont let food become a battle ground. Relax, your son needs a happy relaxed mother much more than he needs solids at this stage of things.

dont worry it is a phase, i would just give finger foods and if he is hungry he will eat. Honestly its as simple as that. No alternatives, whats there's there. How much milk is he still having? Also when are you giving him his foods? After he wakes up? Or after a bottle. Maybe shuffling it around so that when he wakes up from a nap he gets solids so he will be hungrier and before bed he gets milk. That way he associates milk with bed and is hungrier when he wakes for solids?