I dont understand =( | ExpatWoman.com
 

I dont understand =(

336
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 December 2012 - 14:42

My 4 month old is really giving me a hard time.

During the day his daytime naps are so difficult. I have to rock him to sleep but the moment I put him down he starts screaming so we go all over again. It takes like 40 minutes to put him down for a 1 hour nap and he still wakes up like every 5-10 minutes needing to be put back to sleep. I have back problems as it is and at times while rocking him my eyes well up with pain.

Feeding is so difficult its as if you have to trick him into feeding. I have to put the dummy in his mouth and then quickly swop with the bottle. Hes always looking all over the place and I'm following with the bottle. There is no calmness during feed time even though I dim the lights, get him comfy and put on some light white noise. He never feeds more than 70ml at a time and hes still feeding 8 times a day. He has reflux but thats well under control with his medication.

Hes 24/7 aggitated. I see 4 months old calm in their strollers looking around etc but weve had such a disaster everytime we have dared to go out that weve vowed to never do it again so I just stay at home. When at tome I hardly get time to even use the loo I'm just sat in one spot on our bed attending to him morning to night.

Everything is just such a struggle with him =(

Its just getting more and more difficult rather than a bit easier =(

2937
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2012 - 21:58
He sounds just like my DS at that age. Does he sleep well at night? DS was up anywhere from 4 times to 15 times and his daytime naps were erratic and a complete challenge for me. I muddled along till he was 7 months then saw Cecile de Scally, and she got us back on track in no time. He was basically just ridiculously overtired and, thanks to me feeding and rocking him to sleep, incapable of getting himself to sleep. Once we'd sorted that out he turned into a brilliant sleeper in a matter of days and was no longer agitated all the time.
30
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 11:21
I experienced exactly the same with my DS now 19months. It does get easier! But I was advised at around 9weeks old that my DS needed extra warmth for sleep. He did not want to be left all alone in the cold in his moses basket......He did not want to sleep next to me in bed, he did not want to lie in the stroller and he did not want to sleep on his boucing seat. I was a mess....then one day a mid-wife tried to swaddle him tightly and told me to leave my hand on him for a few minutes so he still feels you, and to slightly make him sleep to the side. So I had some towels rolled up on the side of the moses basket, so he would not be able to roll onto his stomach.......and he slept like an angel. We then proceeded on following a routine (Gina Ford) and life was back for us! and he has been the easiest sleeper ever since. It will get better, this worked for our DS so maybe you can get a chnace with your baby. all the best!
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 13 December 2012 - 15:26
if is happy distracted then thats pretty normal for a 4 month old, they just can't be bothered feeding for a long time when there are other things to do. You're already trying the dark room etc, you could try a "nursing necklace" even though you are bottle-feeding it might help (basically just a necklace with big beads and things for them to play with while feeding) and you could try a FASTER flow teat ( I know I said slower flow in my previous post but if its boredom rather than reflux then faster might work better). Still I'd be a bit wary of trying to give too much milk at once to a refluxer, but play it by ear and see how you go. With the rocking to sleep, you have to wait until they are in deep sleep before you put them down (around 20 min) otherwise they will wake and you'll have to do it all again. Instead of rocking have you tried pushing him around in his pram inside the house (assuming you have one that has the bassinet type attachment) might be easier on your back and no need to transfer when he's asleep. Ideally you want to break the rock to sleep association but as AmyAus says, screw the "rules" do what works, what you can cope with and worry about breaking habits later when things have settled down.
4062
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 13 December 2012 - 11:49
Great to hear you are feeling a bit better today DCC. Just occured to me, my first baby never slept in her cot during the day at all. She'd just scream and scream and not settle so in the end I gave up even trying the cot. She'd happily sleep in her bouncer or buggy or car seat though.
336
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 December 2012 - 11:39
Thank you so much everyone for such supportive replies. I woke up today and started all over again. Its a brand new day with brand new energy! KW: The reason we feel his reflux is under control is because hes no longer vomiting, spitting up, crying from acid coming up to his throat or screaming at the bottle. He just starts rolling his tongue around the teat mid feed and laughing like hes being cheeky. I cant help but laugh too but he makes it impossible to just feed him. It seems like hes had enough. This morning he stopped at 60ml but I knew he was hungry for more so I cup fed him and he wiped off 120ml! I dont understand though why hes become to wierded out by his dr brown teat (same one weve been using since he was born). Akia: Thank you for your recommendation! Rehan's permanent paed is Dr Rania at Infinity and he also see's Helen. Both are such lovely people but even Helen was surprised when she saw how DS plays up during feeds! Daza: Thanks Daza. I think his paed is just so thrilled that we have his allergies and reflux under control that she doesnt realise how frustrating the other problems have become! I'll make an appointment and discuss them with her again but yes I agree with you that its a bit of a waiting game and I think DS will be much different by 7 months. Amy: The way you described it was with you DD is exactly how it is with me right now. I dont get the time do even just rest my back for a little while. His paed said a while ago that she thinks hes not going to be the type to nap during the day so i'll likely have a busy day with him. She wasnt wrong. I cant put him down for even a minute! He is tired at times but totally screams and fights it if I try to put him down for a nap. This is why I need some help around the house during the day. I'm speaking with maids/nanny's who have the experience with babies but are currently looking after massive villas and being paid 2k plus. Were only in a small apartment with one baby. I know if the person is right we need to pay what we need to pay but just seems unreasonable with how light the work load is here at our home. I was hoping to get somebody in for 1500 dhs but its not happening because these girls are young or too old with not enough baby experience so maybe I need to just stop being stubborn. Thanks again ladies =)
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 December 2012 - 17:25
great post by Daza below, what makes you so sure his reflux is "well under control" it sounds a bit to me that his issues are reflux related. The small feeds are very likely reflux related and to be honest I'd stick with them, its much easier on a refluxers tummy to have smaller feeds more frequently rather than trying for big feeds spaced further apart. The unwillingness to feed is something that can happen with refluxers as they associate feeding with pain, the aversion can remain even after the pain is rellieved. Be careful not to force-feed more than he wants to take and maybe use a slower flow teat so he doesn't feel overwhelmed as feeding issues can be long term problems. If you are using thickeners or an anti-reflux formula consider not using them, in some babies they result in simple reflux becoming painful silent reflux (basically they spit up less but the acid rises up their throat and then back down, burning both ways) tread carefully and don't rush into solids, they can make the reflux a lot worse, especially hard to digest starchy foods like rice and other cereals. Def look into intolerances as reflux triggers, wheat and dairy are common ones. Keep in mind to that the contented babies you see in strollers etc are out and about because they are the contented ones, My first baby was always mellow but although my 2 month old is chilled at certain times of the day and I get lots of comments on how easy she seems I spend a good chunk of the afternoon holding and feeding her so we only go out in the morning. Those same babies you see may not always be so easy and you are def not the only mum hiding out at home! hang in there, reflux tends to get much better once they can crawl. <em>edited by kiwispiers on 12/12/2012</em>
4062
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 December 2012 - 15:34
I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a tough time DCC. Some babies just take a little longer that others settling in to life and it's normally a real case of trial and error finding what works for you both. Have you spoken to a pediatrician about your concerns? Does your son seem uncomfortable especially after feeding? If you are using formula could it be possible that he has an intolerance? My third baby utterly refused a bottle, he got very agitated and screamed whenever I tried. I found out once he started eating solids that he had a dairy intolerance which is why he would have been refusing the bottle, it obviously made him feel awful but he didn't have any way of telling me. Have you tried another type of formula, goats milk based or lactose free to see if it helps? I think 8 feeds a day is pretty normal, some children prefer small feeds often, some bigger feeds less often. My first baby often seemed uncomfortable and had a habit of banging her legs when in her cot. When she was a couple of months old I took her to a cranial osteopath. I was pretty sceptical but it actually seemed to help, the leg banging and squirming stopped. It was in London so I can't advise anyone to see here sorry, maybe another poster could help with that. I know getting out can seem such a struggle when things are tough with a baby but it's really not good for either of you to be cooped up in your house all the time. Is there anywhere you can walk outside where your live? Even if it's just 10 minutes a couple of times a day for some fresh air and a change of scenery. I've used a Baby Bjorn bouncer for all my children to sit in a home, they've all loved it and it's given me free hands when needed, it can be really hard when you feel like you have a baby in your arms 24/7. Again, it something that will work for some children but not for others. When I was struggling with my first I used to sometimes feel like she wanted to make my life hard and it was difficult not to get angry. Of course with hindsight I realised that none of it was on purpose and we were both just getting used to our new lives. I wish hadn't been so hard on myself either, I felt I was doing something wrong but I wasn't, I was just learning. We got there in the end.
117
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 December 2012 - 15:24
Like the pp said, this might be just a phase! I always thought I had the most difficult four month old of all times! Silent reflux might be another issue that causes him to have a hard time eating food. But that's just a guess. I had to rock LO to sleep. Had enough one day and did sleep training. Then gave in and went back to square one. Just an info, if you ever decide to sleep train, commit to it 100%. I did not and it was just torture. If he continues acting like this, maybe take him to the Pedi. There is a clinic called Infinity in Jumeirah and a nurse called Helen! I tell you, she saved my life!! I can strongly recommend it! Good luck! This stage will pass.
5
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 December 2012 - 15:11
Hello, I would say dont worry at all, this is all part of the process..I know it seems at times you just want to scream and i went through so I feel your pain! It really could be anything..have you tried giving him gripe water in his milk? That used to calm down my little one, even Infacol just in case he/she has colic. What used to help me put him to sleep beleive it or not was classical music - i would actually leave it on on a low tone for around 2 hours and that was the only thing that made him stay asleep! I am sure it just a phase which will go away, babies are so unpredictable, it feels like a mission to understand exactly what they want..have you also tried changing the nipple on the bottle? That sometimes helps - which brand are you using? Some mummies prefer tommy timpee as they say it's more like the human one! Best of luck..
 
 

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