Mother as birthing partner – Husband not agreeing! | Page 2 | ExpatWoman.com
 

Mother as birthing partner – Husband not agreeing!

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 16:17
You can't have both? The first time when they told me I could only have one person but mother wanted to be there too, her and my dh switched places several times (shifts!) but eventually, they just let them both stay only asking one or both to leave at particular times. I was perfectly fine with just my dh being there as I dont believe any two women birth alike (not even mother and daughter) and I wouldn't dream of cheating my dh out of the experience. That also is particular to me and (how I know now), I labor. I much prefer(ed) to be left alone and was bothered by the constant attention of both of them. Just needed someone to fetch things when needed, lol. Just consider he IS the other parent. Not saying you have to include him but it does seem to be his right. Knowing what I do now about my husband and what an involved father he is, I'd feel really terrible if I'd excluded him from that experience. I think it all depends on you, your dh and maybe even what your mom thinks. Talk about it more and see if you all can come to a better understanding. Yes, it is your body and he isn't going through it but it is his baby too so maybe he can help once the baby is out (or switch then?) so he can cut the chord or see baby coming out? Hopefully, you all will work it out.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 16:09
I would never want my mother there and can see why your husband might get worried he wold be pushed aside but in this situation he really doesn't get a say, whatever makes you most comfortable. (you even have the right to kick him out if you don't think he is up to it) Parenting is about the 2 of you but giving birth, that ones on you ;)
38
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 15:57
haha :) I think birthing videos are going to be the way forward!! He is fully aware that i am a major drama queen and can not believe he is willing to risk that all by himself. I would be happy for her to leave right at the end but the support part i fully know i need her. Think we will have a nice weekend and then ill bring it up.......fingers crossed! Thanks for your help and advise. <em>edited by Nenni on 02/06/2011</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 15:07
tell him that when it comes to him pushing an oversized melon out of his backside then he can choose who is there to support him, until then your uterus.. your choice! all jokes aside.. show him some birthing videos and see whether he can handle it, I only had my DH there but I made sure he knew what to expect, maybe your DH wants to keep it as a private special time.. the birth of your first child, just you and him being the first to see the baby.. maybe he'll agree to it if your Mum leaves for the final act? It could be a long drag and he may appreciate there being someone else around to take the pressure off. Exactly my point :):cool:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 15:01
tell him that when it comes to him pushing an oversized melon out of his backside then he can choose who is there to support him, until then your uterus.. your choice! all jokes aside.. show him some birthing videos and see whether he can handle it, I only had my DH there but I made sure he knew what to expect, maybe your DH wants to keep it as a private special time.. the birth of your first child, just you and him being the first to see the baby.. maybe he'll agree to it if your Mum leaves for the final act? It could be a long drag and he may appreciate there being someone else around to take the pressure off.
671
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EW GURU
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 14:54
Maybe part of your discussion could be a way to involve him in the birth in a special way - e.g. to cut the cord, take part in skin-to-skin, have your mother leave you alone for some time after the birth to bond as a family (she can have her special time with baby later)... Hopefully he will understand that you want and need him there too, and that this is no way a rejection of him.
438
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 14:39
I am not sure if you can, as men are not even close to understanding what childbirth is. It is not only in the movies, men usually faint during the procedure or just leave the room as they cannot take it anymore. I think having your mom next to you is a good thing, although I have to say that you will not be able to pay attention to her and she will not be able to help you in any way. At the end of the day your doctor is the one that you will need and the only person you need to be focused on. When I think of it, having your mom there is good idea – she can take care of your husband :) Sorry, not a joke really. 1 in 50 men are ok in that room during that time. I think the reason is that they never know how difficult that is. My husband waited outside. I wanted it like that, less stress for me – just for the baby, no husband stress :) There are videos on childbirth. Not nice, but accurate. It may scare your husband enough to make him change his mind :) Sorry, trying to be just very positive about it. Have seen many future dads literally running away from that room. Use to work in hospital. Good luck :)
 
 

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