OB/GYN delivery dilemma

Kim.a, Yay! Very happy for you. No doubt you made a right decision :) x

Hi Kim, well you have made my day! Thanks so much for sharing, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders knowing that Dr Azza is going to support my birthplan too! Good for you for switching and trusting your intuition! It was meant to be hey? I look forward to hearing your birth story - please don't forget to share it with us when you have time! Take care, good luck with your birth...I am sure it will be everything you want it to be!! Deb p.s what happens by the way if Dr Azza isn't around when you go into labour? Will the other docs support your plan? This is something I will be asking her too once we get on to this - I am still only 18 weeks -due in October!

I'm so pleased it went well and that you didn't have to explain anything to anyone, nothing worse than feeling awkward about something you know you shouldn't really be feeling awkward about! What a difference and that's how it should be. It's also reassuring that she is pro-natural birth (like golddust in Dubai?!) and that she also worked in Al Wasl for years. It's your birth, your body and having a doctor who realises this is exactly what you need after your experience with your previous doctor. I'm glad she made your DH feel included as well as I think this is really important. Not long to go!! I hope you manage to get some rest (at least no more sleepless nights worrying about someone who won't respect your wishes!) Let us know how it goes.

Kim.a, Yay! Very happy for you. Good decision - no doubt :) Now, only a couple of weeks to go - let us know how things are progressing :) x

Hi Kim, Dr Azza is just so kind and the difference is, I think anyway, that if she didn't agree with something you had on your birth plan, I feel that she would never 'mock' you, but discuss it with you in a calm manner. I asked her some q's about some meds she had me take due to medical past issue and she answered me clearly and honestly and not in any way patronising, although I am sure she thought my question was a bit silly. It is the way people say things more than what people say which can cause upset don't you think? What Dr Azza said that about the Caesarean rate and that she is proud of it is great news so thanks for sharing that. If I were you I would just be honest and say that the other doc didn't agree with your birth plan, I mean what can they say? You are ultimately a paying customer at Medcare and so can do what you like within reason. You have nothing to be embarassed about, it's simply move doctors, or move hospitals. I also like what Starsouthern wrote and I have every faith that when I am ready to deliver I will get the birth that I want, as long as it is a natural birth anyway and if I 'genuinely' need a C section, so be it. I really feel for you as I think we are so vulnerable when pregnant as a lot of what happens is really out of our control and it is hard to stand up for ourselves when so many people mock the fact we want to have no pain relief. I am a yoga teacher and so I am going down the meditation, breathing, 'birthing from within' route...with an open mind to any medical intervention only if necessary. Good luck on Sunday!

Hi Kim, I know you have already changed doctors but I wanted to say that you have definitely done the right thing. I cannot believe how you were spoken to! It's your birth and therefore your choices are the important ones and should not be rubbished by a supposed professional. Don't worry about seeing your old doctor and other staff, it's so busy usually and quite often doctors don't remember you from one week to the next so I don't think you will get any looks or questions. I don't think the nurses will question you about a change of doctor or even comment on it. Afterall they may just assume that you couldn't get an appointment with your existing doctor for example. However, in saying that I also don't like confrontation but I think that once you get that first few minutes of the 'new' visit out the way, all will be fine. If anyone says anything you could quite rightly say that you have changed doctors as you were not comfortable with the way your wishes were dealt with and leave it at that or you could just say you wanted to change doctors. If you don't feel like justifying that, then you don't have to - it's your choice. Who cares what they think, you and your baby are the most important in this. Like you say the most important thing is having the right doctor for you whilst in labour who you will trust to follow your wishes (subject to medical necessity etc) and who won't get your back up/make you feel bad or nervous about the whole thing. You need to be sure that any worries like that are removed so you can concentrate on giving birth. I agree with 'M' in that the inflexible doctors will have to change if they are to continue to practise as people are becoming more insistent on their wishes being listened to. I cannot believe that your doctor said you have to give birth on your back - this 'policy' is out-dated and inflexible and you should not be dictated to in this way, especially as you have given birth before - you know your body better than anyone. You are also entitled to change your mind about pain relief and so what if you do. I initially just wanted to have gas and air but after 5 hours in labour changed my mind and wanted an epidural and got one with no fuss. I was with Dr Shiva at Medcare and they followed by birth plan to the letter and nothing was an issue. I would have liked the midwives to try and encourage me to have carried on without an epidural (I think I panicked about the pain) but they didn't as there doesn't seem to be much support for this type of encouragement here like there would be in the UK, for example. This time round, initially I was with City but unfortunately my doctor left and so I have now chosen AH as I really like Dr. Raj and feel she will not try and push me around and really seemed to listen and didn't dictate. I'm glad you have found a doctor you are comfortable with and good luck with it all.

TBO You don't actually need a doctor present at all during the birth. Both my babies were delivered here with midwives only, and if your doc isn't on duty you won't get her anyway. If you are not happy or comfortable with your doc then change. When giving birth to my first I told one of the midwives to leave and send someone in who was going to be helpful. You need to stick up for yourself. I had to deliver both my babies on my back because I had an epidural, no tearing, cutting or stitches baby no 1 was 9pounds. I am delivering baby no 3 at MedCare, and have asked for no epidural and was told by my doc that she thought I wouldn't be able to cope since I had an epidural with the other 2, I just smiled and said yes Dr what ever you say and am still not going to have an epidural. She probably won't be there on the day anyway. I have been assured by her though that they don't cut you unless absolutely necessary, she's also told me that I can deliver in any position that I feel comfortable in.

Hi Kim, I am 17 weeks pregnant and with Dr Azza who I have found to be such a kind and lovely Doctor. Please can you let me know how your meeting goes when you tell her your birth plan, which is exactly how I would like mine to be. I have heard so many stories about the docs here in Dubai so against natural birth and limited pain relief (i.e. gas and air) and I don't know why, but it would be nice to know whether Dr Azza supports your plan...or whether I may need to have a back up plan, maybe in the form of a Doula. many thanks!

I didn't get the chance to post here the other day and am very glad to see you changed drs. Don't worry for a moment what "they " think - it's only the Dr you should even remotely consider, and her only in terms of hoping she can now clearly see how unacceptable her behaviour was. I changed my dr on the day I went into labour ( as she was unavailable) no less than three times - very, very long labour!. It didn't matter one iota, 'cause they were all respectful of my birth wishes. At the end of the day it will be up to you. All you need is a bit of support and anyone who is not ready to offer you that has no place in the delivery suite with you.

Congratulations JoannaS!! I cannot imagine how much longer many of these old school doctors are going to continue with these attitudes! Almost every new or expectant mum I speak to has been educated about active labour techniques and chooses this approach for her delivery.

Wow Joanna! I've just seen your post! How did you manage to change Dr's during your delivery? And what made you change? What hospital did you give birth in? Ok - here is the story. I was with dr. A from the very beginning - rather happy, no major issues, fairly straight forward birth intention (no meds, as natural as possible), DH and doula with me. DD decided to come out on Saturday - off to AH where dr. A delivers (although she works in another private clinic). All was progressing as it should, dr. A came to see us and she gave me impression that it is not convenient that DD decided to come out on Saturday. Anyways, I was not in the mood to please the doc, I wanted my birth to progress and deliver a baby :) When I was (I think in pushing stage) - midwife called my doula to the phone. As I learnt it was dr. A telling over the phone that she cannot make it as has an 'emergency' and she is 'arranging' an alternative ob-gyn (there was no ob-gyn in the hospital at that time!). I did not care - I had my DH, fab doula, lovely midwives around... eventually dr. B arrived - straight from the shopping mall. DD came out perfect - my birth was not exactly as I planned, but hey, I think it very rarely is ;)

Oh my - she was the Dr I would have delivered with, had I not fled this retarded (in childbirth terms) place to have a home birth in the UK. I honestly cannot for the life of me understand how these "professionals" fail to see that our birth experience shapes our relationship with our babies and our recovery. How dare they treat pregnant women like sh*t, belittle them, ridicule and humiliate them and even violate them by cutting when not necessary (making a woman lie of her back and/or with her feet in stirrups apparently increases the "need" for an episiotomy). No, dump her in a heartbeat. If every woman refused to put up with this kind of treatment, then these so-called professionals would have to change their ways or be out of a job, because as sure as h3ll, they wouldn't be able to find work in a more progressive maternity environment. Good luck hun, with your delivery - stick to your guns and don't put up with any nonsense on their part.

Kim.a, change the doctor if you dont feel comfortable with the one who led you through your pregnancy. At the end of the day it is you who is doing all hard work. Doctor is there to help you and not other way around. I had my ob-gyn changed DURING delivery and it did not bother me a great deal. I was more upset about it when came back to my senses after birth. Good luck and happy delivery. x

Change Drs Kim, your baby is more important than keeping your Dr happy. You want a good experience and you have enough to deal with during labour than having to deal with defending yourself against your Dr. Where are you delivering? Because I was also wary of my gynae just because she insisted on my delivering on my back (just the crowning phase) but when I visited the American Hospital labour ward I chatted to one of the midwifes about my fears; she was wonderful - said I have every right to refuse the Dr's orders even in labour. So if the worst comes to the worst, get a Doula who will fight your gynae for your rights during labour, and try deliver at a hospital where the pts rights come first. You only see the gynae right at the very end anyhow but I would definitely try to change Drs if I were you. HTH :)

Kim, you're supposed to feel reassured and confident in your Dr, Im 33 weeks and would not hesitate in changing Dr if I was treated like this. Very best of luck to you xx

What would I do? Change doctors in a heartbeat and write a strong letter to the management detailing your reasons why. Don't miss and hit the wall - let them know exactly how she's made you feel. You need to feel comfortable in the labour room and it doesn't sound like you will with your original doctor, whereas you felt you had a connection with the other lady. That's way more promising and you simply don't need the stress of worrying whether she's going to belittle you and make you feel bad on the day. Good luck and I hope you get it sorted! PS And I'd really, really want to give her a good slap, too.

Absolutely go with your gut. How dare that Dr belittle you - this is your experience and they are soley there to ensure the safe arrival of your little bundle.

I would change if the other doc is available to help you with your delivery. You need to have faith that your OB will be prepared to let you have the labour and delivery that YOU want, within medical reason. You have to trust her. There is no reason (known at the moment) why you can't labour and birth in positions other than on your back. She sounds like a cow to be honest and since giving birth at home here is not legal then she's also talking through her rear end. Change docs and don't care a hoot about how she will feel or how it 'looks'. Good luck