Too long on my own to do anything about it! | ExpatWoman.com
 

Too long on my own to do anything about it!

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:15

OK, been on my own since divorcing OH 5 years ago.

Got 2 grown up children so, should I be looking for a better half?

Reason I'm asking is that whilst I meet men whilst out socially, I haven't got the energy nor inclination to pursue it and yet I do miss the company and intimacy of somebody.

Does this make sense? If not, no worries!!!!

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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 10:14
I am sure my mother is a lot older than you...but a couple of years after my Dad died she went on a trip - a tour, and became friendly with this guy...anyway I was gently teasing her one day, when she said very seriously.."Yes it's nice for some companionship, and yes it would be nice to have someone to make your plus one all the time, however the men my age are just after one thing....someone to look after them, now why would I want to be saddled with that? Every time I think of that I laugh, as she is probably right. This was quite a few years ago (My dad passed 15 years ago), and now all her friends husbands are popping their clogs, she has no problem filling her "plus 1"
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EW GURU
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 09:41
i dont think they are dating sites here but isnt there a group called "table for six"? and a "social circles" group? do you go somewhere else over the Summers? If USA try matchdotcom
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EW GURU
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 08:49
Thanks ladies I'm just having a moment where I'm not getting any younger. Met my ex when I was 18 and was with him for 22 years. I am so out of touch with it all! My heart went out to you with this - I was in the same situation - had been with my ex since I was 17yrs old and married for 23 years when he walked out on me. I thought I would never meet/love anyone again. I believed I was fat and ugly as that was what he told me, and after years of hearing ti I believed it. I never planned to meet my new DH, I just spent time with friends so when I did meet DH I wasn't pushy or desperate and the relationship evolved. However I must admit it was terrifying to be dating again and even harder to believe I was actually attractive to another man. I agree with the previous poster who suggests a consulation with Janet from house of Colour - she is terrific and after my session with her my confidence was really boosted - and my clothes shopping became enjoyable instead of a chore as I knew what colours and styles suit me. Good luck with getting back "on the scene", but relax and enjoy yourself and men will flock to you!
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 08:38
Tasha B, I definitely think you should start dating again and putting yourself out there! Maybe you could start with a make over to increase your confidence, or try house of colour, lots of people recommend them on here. Alternatively, get your best friend (or most stylish) to take you shopping and give you honest advice about what you look amazing in, get a great haircut/colour, all for a confidence boost. Then go out somewhere nice. I bet you'll attract heaps of attention! Or is there a good internet dating site in dubai where like minded people in similar situations can start off?
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EW GURU
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 08:11
Tasha dear, might your confidence be low because you are not happy within yourself? Are you loving yourself enough (narcissistic not!)? Find that magic button when you feel really good about yourself - translates into a happy (eyes) countenance which is so attractive to others (other gender)... Wishing you happiness! Love this! so many of us needed to hear that today! thanks Crystals
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EW GURU
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 08:08
Tasha dear, might your confidence be low because you are not happy within yourself? Are you loving yourself enough (narcissistic not!)? Find that magic button when you feel really good about yourself - translates into a happy (eyes) countenance which is so attractive to others (other gender)... Wishing you happiness!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 February 2011 - 00:40
lorra lorra laughs Nobbles as Cilla would say! I don't think I'm looking too hard. Just realised that after 5 years, I hadn't even met that potential someone! My confidence is at an all time low ever since being with wonderful not ex! He does have a lot to do with it!!!! Awww-don't let him wreck your confidence-you are managing just fine without him:) Thanks Wuffles xxx
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 23:35
lorra lorra laughs Nobbles as Cilla would say! I don't think I'm looking too hard. Just realised that after 5 years, I hadn't even met that potential someone! My confidence is at an all time low ever since being with wonderful not ex! He does have a lot to do with it!!!! Awww-don't let him wreck your confidence-you are managing just fine without him:)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 23:19
lorra lorra laughs Nobbles as Cilla would say! I don't think I'm looking too hard. Just realised that after 5 years, I hadn't even met that potential someone! My confidence is at an all time low ever since being with wonderful not ex! He does have a lot to do with it!!!!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 23:14
I know Nobbles but I really don't know how to date any more! I just go out with my girlfriends (and who are married) and they seem to have more luck than me and they're not even looking!!!! maybe you're looking too hard or being too hard on yourself! do you have any single friends? i went to some drinks as part of expatforum.com and there were loads of singletons of all ages! sometimes also you'll meet someone in the place you'd least expect it like the supermarket? there are tons of single people in dubai hoping to meet that special someone. I am known for my cilla black skills (well, not that many successes!) So will be watching this post ;). What's your ideal man?...... (now my caps lock key has gone so again apologies for typos!)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 23:05
I know Nobbles but I really don't know how to date any more! I just go out with my girlfriends (and who are married) and they seem to have more luck than me and they're not even looking!!!!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:59
But it could just start out as some fun? girls night out and a little look around. just because you might meet someone doesnt mean you have to throw yourself into the deep end! have some fun! go to the cinema and meals out. at the end of the day, if you dont enjoy it, at least youve tried. you might meet your prince charming at last! (apologies for the terrible punctuation (darn blackberry torch keyboard - I want my I phone back!!)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:50
Worth a try ;-) (her words!!!!!) But I don't even own a pair of dungarees!!!! :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:49
Worth a try ;-) (her words!!!!!)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:45
Nice Anna-Belle but I don't bat for the other side I'm afraid!!!! :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:43
or do what my bf did: date a girl........Bit tricky in this part of the world maybe but a lot more reliable she says ;-)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:37
lol HAK, hope for me then eh?!!! hehe - indeed! Go bag yourself a toyboy, lady!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:36
lol HAK, hope for me then eh?!!!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:34
Thanks ladies I'm just having a moment where I'm not getting any younger. Met my ex when I was 18 and was with him for 22 years. I am so out of touch with it all! Oh, don't worry - 80-something gran is happily cohabiting with a 70-something toyboy!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:27
Thanks ladies I'm just having a moment where I'm not getting any younger. Met my ex when I was 18 and was with him for 22 years. I am so out of touch with it all!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:24
Don`t stress yourself. He will jump in front of your nose, don`t worry.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:23
There are no rules. If you want it then go for it, but if not then don't. My Mum has been alone since she was 48 and my Dad died- just no interest. Being happy is the main thing- either with or without an OH. ;)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:23
If it were me I'd stay single-I suspect once you've enjoyed your independence and proved you can manage alone ypi probably value your strengths more than you realise-hope that makes sense
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EW GURU
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:22
Hmm tricky question.... I guess I'd say if and/or when you meet someone really special you will suddenly have the energy to pursue it. Until that happens, don't bother or worry about it. I love being on my own, sometimes wish I could jettison all the dependants!!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 February 2011 - 22:18
Yeah, of course it makes sense... everyone needs a certain amount of companionship, whether it's through pets, a close circle of friends or an other half! But you've answered your own question - it's not a chore and so if you feel that it is, then don't do it. Life's too short. Get a cat int eh meantime! ;)
 
 

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