Husband left - need a visa to stay here | ExpatWoman.com
 

Husband left - need a visa to stay here

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 08:10

Hi Ladies,

my husband just informed me that he will leave Dubai before Christmas to start a new life with his girlfriend back home. I am in complete shock but need to make a lots of decisions about my kids and my life.

I want to stay here for the time being as I think it will be best for my children. I would feel horrible to take them out of their school and away from all their friends in 6 weeks time. I don't even have an idea where we could move. I haven't lived in my home country for more then 15 years and have almost no family left there. I like Dubai and ideally would like to stay here for a few more years.

I have read the forum for a long time but never posted - still I would be very grateful if somebody could help me with some questions about visas. I don't think I will find a job here in the next 6 weeks so I looked into other options. We could do visa runs for some time but I am worried about legal problems with my driving license, car insurance, our health insurance and the school my children go town if we don't have a proper residence visa.

We don't own a house, it looks like my only options is starting my own company. Does anybody has an idea how long this would take, what papers are needed and most important what costs I have to consider. Would it be a good - and cheaper - idea to set up a company in Ajman or RAK. I need to sponsor my two children and the maid, which I don't want to let down as well. She believes her job is secure, my kids love her and if I find a job here, I will need her to look after the children.

I know that the set up of a company can be expensive but I have a business idea, which I have never thought of realizing because I was afraid of the costs, so now might be the time to go through with it, if I have to start one to get a visa anyway.

Thanks very much in advance!

147
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 22:19
Ahh I see that now - person ahead of me had bumped to top of recent threads section. I'm now curious on how it worked out but guess we'll never know.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 19:37
Tessa this is a 4 year old post.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 16:52
Which country are you a citizen of? I agree he has behaved badly but that isn't going to help much going forward. As someone said, pragmatism is needed and you come across as eminently sensible. My thoughts are a single woman without income in Dubai is going to struggle particularly with setting up a sufficiently profitable business whilst managing children and trauma of separation. If you have some money, it might be better to set up a business in your 'own' country where there may well be financial support and a safety net. If you spend money on a business and it doesn't have adequate return to finance you and your family then you are left with nothing. Returning 'home' would be even harder. If you happen to be an EU citizen, you have the choice of many countries at the moment with the financial advantage of social security, healthcare and education. You might even get support with housing. Children are resilient and adapt to changes in schools and place of residence - the marriage breakup will be harder for them than the moving. Sad for the maid but you have to act in the best interest of your family not an employee. Only you can know what is best but maybe don't assume staying put is best option.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2016 - 15:47
My love to you. Curious to know what you ended up doing - my friend is in a similar boat.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 October 2012 - 12:52
DD you need to take a very hard and objective look at your financial situation. Unless you have a significant financial cushion to see you through this transitional period in a foreign country, where you have no "rights" as a citizen, where you cannot fall back on social aid, you should seriously look at returning to your home country even if it isn't your first choice. At least by going back home you increase your options and improve your circumstances without continually waiting to see if "something or other or permit or other or visa or other or residency or other" works out. You can always come back when your situation improves. I don't mean to sound negative, but pragmatism is your best friend right now. You have to sit down and do the math and crunch the numbers. Your soon to be (good riddance sorry excuse for a man) ex husband is out, and don't count on him fulfilling his financial responsibilities to HIS children - which you have stated he says he will do the absolute minimum needed???? Anyone who walks out on their child with that statement is an A$$ and the only person more stupid is the one who believes that statement will be honoured.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 October 2012 - 01:21
This is so very sad but I have to say that over the years this has happened to so many people in Dubai, many have tried to stay here on their own and not managed it. The problem is everything depends on 'the visa' It has grown more difficult over the last few years as you now need an ID Card which you cannot get without a visa. The ID is required to register a vehicle, have a phone and open a bank account. As soon as your current visa is cancelled your ID is also cancelled, makes it all very difficult to stay here now. It is also so expensive if the employer doesn't pay the 'expat package' eg: School fees, Insurance, Medical, Villa. Would your occupational field provide the financial expat package to support yourself and your children? I have also heard that to start up a company you now need to rent office space. A friend of mine did the RAK businees set up and this year he has been told that he now has to rent office space, the cost of office space is very expensive which has made his business not economically viable now. Another thing to consider is that if you do manage to start a business and anything goes wrong financially then you cannot just declare bankruptcy here they have a very harsh way of settling matters. You really need to think long and hard about this, don't rush into anything without sitting down and making honest calculations. Remember also, wherever your home country is at least you know that you are a National there and will have benefits to fall back on, not the same here. It sounds as though your emotions are running high at the moment (which they would be) and you are digging your heels in trying to stay, just make sure you are doing what is right for you and your children long term. I wonder if there are any other ladies that use this forum that have been through a similar experience and have managed to stay? Perhaps they could give you ideas how they managed it? Hoping everything works out for you. The ladies on this forum are right. Any person (cannot call him a man) that would not support his wife and and children does not deserve your time and effort. Wave him goodbye and say you are glad to see the back of him. Unfortunately, it's the children that suffer most by 'DH's' selfish behaviour.
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 October 2012 - 19:45
How sad. I agree, please get the advice of a lawyer. Your husband sounds like such a weak and very silly man. You need to fight for as much as possible for the sake of your kids - education, university, medical insurance. Depending upon the country in which you married, you are entitled to a payout - half of the marriage assets - and maintence for you and your kids. Fight for your kid's rights! They need a mother who is able to look after them or you will suddenly find that he takes them from you. And don't forget that you are lucky to be rid of him and feel sorry for e poor stupid girlfriend, after all, if he will leave his wife and kids to be with her, he will also happily live her to be with the next one.... Good luck and stay strong
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 28 October 2012 - 09:47
I'm so saddened by your situation, what kind of man just dumps his children like that. By the sounds of it you're better off without. I wish you and your family all the best.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 October 2012 - 08:49
Thanks ladies for the support. My husband already told me, that he has no intention to pay anything more then the absolute minimum for his children and nothing for me. I totally agree, that he is probably already saving money for the new life with the new girlfriend, whose love might not be as strong if he has no money left because he has to support his old family. So the only thing I can do, is starting my new life as soon as possible. I have seen so many ugly divorces, in the end nobody won and the wives mainly wasted all their energy fighting for money. Even though I hate the idea that he just walks out after all that years and leaves me with nothing, I won't waste my energy on trying to get something from him. Most of the time I manage to stay positive and see the good in it: I can also start a new life, which hopefully after a difficult period will be better than the one I had with him...
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EW GURU
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 22:54
like I said..get a good lawyer. He is giving you a bit of duff gin....you have been married for 15 years and have a child....do not think for one minute that he is quiting his job to find himself...he is packing away the funds to support his new life...guaranteed he has a job to go to and is going to leave you and the children high and dry........... anyway, good luck for the future... I bet you are right about this as my friend's husband also mysteriously 'lost' his job when he'd got rid of her? Hmmm....
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 21:50
like I said..get a good lawyer. He is giving you a bit of duff gin....you have been married for 15 years and have a child....do not think for one minute that he is quiting his job to find himself...he is packing away the funds to support his new life...guaranteed he has a job to go to and is going to leave you and the children high and dry........... anyway, good luck for the future...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 21:37
I can only agree with others that you are a very strong woman! I doubt that he will not work unless he has saved money cause normally 'these women' don't go for unemployed married guys. When it comes to financing the ex-wife then some men become very inventive. In the bad there is always something good! Wish you and your kids the best!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 21:19
Thanks for all the replies. Cushion, would be great to hear more details about your friend's visa. Once the holidays are over I'll go and check out creativzone etc. Hopefully it will be a quick and easy process to get the visa. I hope my decision to stay here will be the right one. I know that it will be hard, but I have not lived in my home country for such a long time and moved with my husband from one foreign country to another for the last 15 years. I am in Dubai for 5 years now, which is the longest time we have ever spend in one country. So it does feel a bit like "home". At least the children and I have lots of friends here, which we would not have anywhere else and as I do not have a family support system at home anymore, Dubai seems to be the better place to stay for me.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 19:32
You are a brave courageous woman. Just know that people who cause so much pain to others will pay for it. They will live with so much guilt even if it takes years to sink in. It's short sighted, every relationship has ups and downs and we can't chase the good and refuse to endure the tougher times.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 12:09
I don't think men like that should be allowed to get off scot free but I suppose what can you do. They will pay later, with a crappy relationship with their children and an old age full of regret :(
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EW GURU
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 12:03
Can't really help much would just like to add my sympathy and best wishes for your future. Same thing recently happened to a friend of mine too she couldn't stay her kids were at a critical stage in their education (teenagers) and he just didn't seem to care. I don't think men like that should be allowed to get off scot free but I suppose what can you do. Another friend has just arranged a visa I will check how she did it and post back. Chin up. x
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 11:43
Thanks for the responses. I agree, my husband is a complete scumbag and I keep wondering how he can do something like this after all this years. Our marriage wasn't perfect and while I kind of understand that he found someone new, I really can't understand how he can do all this in such a hurry without even considering what it means to his children, me and the maid. He also will quit his job to find himself, so I do not have much hope he will pay a lot of money to us, no matter if we are here or back home. I really want to try and stay here, I don't think that my chances for a job back home are any better than here. I have a little bit of money from an inheritance and I want to use this to set up a company here, in the beginning just for the visa but also to try out my business idea once the first shock has worn of and I have sorted the mess he left me in. So, if anybody has more information on setting up a company, please let me know. Thanks again!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 10:02
A friend of mine recently went through this. She looked into avenues of staying. She ended up paying for a free zone license school fees etc rent etc. After her DH had been away a year he stopped paying maintenance and child support. He quit his job to find himself. She couldn't make ends meet here so had to go home. She was dreading going back for the same reasons you are, but it's the best decision she's made. Her kids have settled in really well and life is far easier for them. She has a support network of people in a similar situation to her. Her kids aren't always asked why doesn't your daddy live with you? every day like they were here.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 08:48
I hope that you have emptied every account possible and have NOC's to sponsor your children, and more blank papers with his signature in case you need any docs for Immi etc Sorry to hear the news, stay strong.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 08:35
geez. Hope you have a darn good lawyer and make sure your husband has paid school fees and dropped a huge amount of money on you and made arrangements to take care of you and his children until you get on your feet...what a scum bag.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 08:24
Really sorry to hear about this for you too, I think the Creative Zone and Virtuzone licences cost around 17k, if you do a search on here there has been a lot of discussion on these. I don't think it takes too long to set them up. You must be reeling from shock and I admire your good level headed thinking. Keep strong and touch base here often though this, there's so many wonderful ladies who may have helpful ideas too.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 October 2012 - 08:15
Very very sorry to hear this. I presume that DH isnt thinking too much about how this will affect kids, schools and maid? He really should help you out on this one. But, just to say that the cheapest and easiest way to set up a company is to go to the JBR Virtuozone which is in Rimal in JBR I think. Or try the RAK offices on SZR. They are very cheap compared to the other emirates. I think they are based in the Fairmont hotel. There is another freezone licence which I think is called the Creativezone or so. (Sorry for all the vagueness) Best of luck and much love to you
 
 

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