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How often does your DH contact you when he's away on business?

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Sticky Wicket36659

1511

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:18

Mine would be propping up a bar, working or sleeping when away. Only calls when in a dry country and bored brainless.

Pomegranate35436

867

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:16

If your DH is not contacting you while he's away, rather than just hanging out with workmates, are you worried that he's also up to other 'no good'? If that's you main concern, then how much he contacts you/doesn't contact you doesn't really mean anything - my friend's ex-husband would almost phone/text constantly when he was away, she thought it was out of 'love' instead it was out of guilt - he'd get the calls out of the way and then get on to playing around........b*stard...... Rather than worrying what other DHs are doing (by the responses its a huge mix), just think about what YOU need and if he's not fulfilling that, then you need to have a chat.

2262

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:06

Luckily DH doesn't go away a lot (lucky for me as I can't sleep if he is not there :D ) but when he is away he calls at least a couple of times a day and we text all the time. Even when he is here we speak a few times a day and text a lot too. (Anyone want the bucket?) Please lol....

highland lass30162

515

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:02

sms in the morning,before flights, after landed and 1 or 2 calls every day plus texts when bored. pretty much the same as when heres here. Can't imagine not hearing from him, Been like this for 15 years would be worried sick if he missed a day.

197

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 17:52

DH has rules! :) He has to callo nce he's checked in, once he's landed, once he's in the hotel. Every night before I go to bed and atleast every other SMS has to be replied to else all **** will break loose. He wasn't like this though. Never called or msged just coz he hated it. We now have ground rules and its become a habit since he sees how much it means to me. <em>edited by ashc on 31/03/2011</em>

gleekfamily24043

481

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 17:35

Mine doesn't travel for business much, but now he's off on VACATION for the week and we've spoken a couple times a day. Usually first thing in the am, before dinner and after the kids are in bed.

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 17:26

All the blinkin time. SMS/phone/bbm......arggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh

927

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 17:02

GA - If this were me I would make sure I was out for a very late girls night out (straight from work if he comes home during the day) when he got back. He would also find an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, no food (especially his favourites) in the 'fridge. When he complained I would say" Oh sorry I forgot you were coming home today, you should have phoned and reminded me". The unethusiastic welcome and fact that you can *forget* him may be enough to spur him to keep in touch next time Can I just say - I love you Genie! You've made my life, I thought I was alone with these thoughts! LOL - you are welcome ;)

180

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 17:02

GA - If this were me I would make sure I was out for a very late girls night out (straight from work if he comes home during the day) when he got back. He would also find an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, no food (especially his favourites) in the 'fridge. When he complained I would say" Oh sorry I forgot you were coming home today, you should have phoned and reminded me". The unethusiastic welcome and fact that you can *forget* him may be enough to spur him to keep in touch next time Can I just say - I love you Genie! You've made my life, I thought I was alone with these thoughts! <em>edited by yebo on 31/03/2011</em>

2362

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 17:01

i'm not great on the phone (actually a bit phone phobic) and would rather chat over messenger or whatsapp etc...

927

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EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 16:56

Hi Muurtje, we don't call each other as he doesn't have roaming on his BB as he thought it was a waste of money, so it stays off while he's away. Originally he would use email and Skype to talk to me if away for more than a couple of days, but now every time he goes away he insists there's no net in the hotel or it's too expensive. I have asked politely and not so politely that he at least gets in touch once as to me it's important, but nothing's changed so far. I do miss him, i get lonely though i go out and do my own thing...and i don't understand why he doesn't feel the same way. He also comes back with loads of pics of the interesting places he goes with his colleagues in their time off, and i sort of think they must just be more interesting than me. Sorry i'm really moaning now! GA - If this were me I would make sure I was out for a very late girls night out (straight from work if he comes home during the day) when he got back. He would also find an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, no food (especially his favourites) in the 'fridge. When he complained I would say" Oh sorry I forgot you were coming home today, you should have phoned and reminded me". The unethusiastic welcome and fact that you can *forget* him may be enough to spur him to keep in touch next time ;)

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 15:01

DH is away more than he's here but we are in contact on a daily basis. We regularly BBM through out the day & speak every other day mainly so he can speak to the kids in the evening. BBM is great way to stay in touch.

1238

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:41

Hi Muurtje, we don't call each other as he doesn't have roaming on his BB as he thought it was a waste of money, so it stays off while he's away. Originally he would use email and Skype to talk to me if away for more than a couple of days, but now every time he goes away he insists there's no net in the hotel or it's too expensive. I have asked politely and not so politely that he at least gets in touch once as to me it's important, but nothing's changed so far. I do miss him, i get lonely though i go out and do my own thing...and i don't understand why he doesn't feel the same way. He also comes back with loads of pics of the interesting places he goes with his colleagues in their time off, and i sort of think they must just be more interesting than me. Sorry i'm really moaning now! Now that I've had time to think about this, I'd be less worried about his not calling and more worried about his cheapness! If he is too cheap to pay to keep in touch with you when he's travelling, that doesn't bode well for birthday presents!!

3804

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:40

GirlAnachronism, I would be worried...your DH excuses seem very lame. Blackberry package difference between domestic and Intl is probably 100-150AED/month so even if company doesnt give it to him he can pay from his pocket! Or better.....you pay to **** him off! You can explain to him that it is not about control but being "around" when he is phisically away. Most women are actually more relaxed to know that their hubby is available on a BB and dont even bother to annoy him anymore... Also once he has a BB there is no extra cost to send you a BBM once in a while. ... or worse...to make him send a quick photo where he is at that moment! Technology works both ways! good luck For that you have to have the international package though, otherwise the data roaming costs are horrific and BBM requires data connections to work. I wouldn't say she should be worried. I'd say he's just not being particularly thoughtful.

280

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:40

I used to be the one going away all the time for work. And I never called him as I prefer telling him everything when I am back over a glass of wine. However, he used to not call me when he was on holiday to his home country and it drove me crazy or he would call me and first sentence would be 'i have very little time'!!!! So then I went along and played the same game, didn't answer his phones, called back hours later, saying I don't have time. Since then he calls me everyday when away. Might be worth a try :).

2262

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:35

thats why!! I have a pay as you go :)

1617

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:35

When I go away on business, I'd email from my BB and call if I happened to be in the office and had time to spare, otherwise we wouldn't speak. Last time, we spoke 2 in two weeks and the time before that about three times in a month! I guess neither of us are very needy in that respect, although it would be different without email

140

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:32

well last business stay I had the hotel not only provided free wi-fi, but there was a laptop in the room to use it on. My eldest said they probably mistook me for someone else! Roaming charges don't apply if you have pay as you go mobiles, just international call rates per the phone company. I use Etisalat, China mobile and UK vodafone for the rest of the world.

2262

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:32

Nope, his phone bills are company covered company related. There are internet cafes usually around somewhere. There are hot spots in most Star Bucks for a nominal fee and other places I am sure. the Concierge would be able to direct him. He can txt maybe not call, i used to only txt but now I can also call..have no idea why but my credit doesnt move much. GA I would also make sure you know what hotel he is staying in. Give him a ring when you need to...I think he eventually might find it easier to get the roaming :) rather than call you back on a public phone (HE CAN also buy cheap phone cards at most corner stores, pay something like 6 cents a minute) <em>edited by SueB on 31/03/2011</em>

6

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:30

GirlAnachronism, I would be worried...your DH excuses seem very lame. Blackberry package difference between domestic and Intl is probably 100-150AED/month so even if company doesnt give it to him he can pay from his pocket! Or better.....you pay to **** him off! You can explain to him that it is not about control but being "around" when he is phisically away. Most women are actually more relaxed to know that their hubby is available on a BB and dont even bother to annoy him anymore... Also once he has a BB there is no extra cost to send you a BBM once in a while. ... or worse...to make him send a quick photo where he is at that moment! Technology works both ways! good luck

98

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:02

SueB....you might want to check your bill......not paying for Roaming doesn't really happen. Somebody pays...might be the company if it's a company phone, but otherwise....:-) Also in regards to the Business Centers / WiFi in Hotels.....cheap in that context is in a lot of cases not true. Some of the larger hotel chains have not woken up to smell that coffee yet and charge 20/30 USD /Day for use of Internet...yes, some of them have Wifi for free.....but a lot don't.... Also phone calls out of a hotel are ALWAYS A RIP OFF AND RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE !! BTW, I travel on business a lot and know from own experience.....

3901

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 14:00

in reply to OP i'd say imo there's no right and wrong as long as you're both ok with it..clearly you are not so i'd discuss it with him..

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:59

A text to say good morning and another to say goodnight (or a phone call if it's practical) - any other contact, like email, is usually only for essentials... if we're apart for more than a couple of days we usually do a webcam with the kids...

2262

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:53

So SueB it wouldn't bother you not to hear from him? I'm normally fine with it but it's become the standard now and on long trips it does make me wonder why he wouldn't want to get in touch... When i was away recently I really missed him and emailed at least once a day. Perhaps it's a man thing. Sue I think our husbands are in the same industry albeit in different roles, so you might understand me when I say i'm not thrilled with him spending all his time abroad going out with his workmates and seeming to forget about me..considering who his workmates are and what they look like generally lol :) gosh I think i'm too sensitive! oh GA, I see why the thread ;). No, it doesnt bother me now, first married and when he left the miliatry and started working with flight attendants...oh yeah lol....I was insecure and he didnt call often. I called him alot and ****** him if he wasnt in his room at midnight!! I would want to know exactly where he was lol... If he has a company phone the roaming is included as it is needed and it cannot be cancelled. Most phones now automatically have roaming. I get txts and phone calls from UAE when in Canada, I can also call and I dont pay for roaming now. As for the internet, most hotels have a business office now, which is very cheap to use the internet if there is even a charge. there also is free wifi so, he needs to smarten up a bit lol... anyway, I think you need to tell him how you feel and that you are a bit insecure and thats ok :). If it upsets you that he is away for awhile and is going out with the "colleagues', then, you have to tell him this. If he does not know he would think (or not even think) that it might bother you :) you have to tell him. BTW GA, they are not all gorgeous, especially without the makeup and the uniform...they look just like us, honest. Anyway, you are not to sensitive ;)...just have to be honest with him about how you feel and I am sure you will have a good talk and he will be more mindful of you when he goes away. It stopped bothering me years ago and if he calls now it is a surprise and the first thing out of my mouth is usually "what wrong!!!!????"lol... anyway, if you want to talk, tell me and I will give you my email :)

spongemonkey980

4329

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:42

This is quite interesting ...it ranges from the twice a day brigade and even during a night out :\: to "too many times"LOL - we all know the attraction of watching what DVD we want to and eating when and what we want! My answer is usually once a day but think that it could get difficult for people who are not on company international phones to do this. Internet in hotels can be expensive eg London 15 Pounds a day - Yikes and it is not always easy to find a free wi fi spot. @GA would say that maybe you need to talk over what you can fairly expect.

270

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:39

Sorry, my phone is really slow when I post so i'm a bit behind! Lol apologies for not being scandalous enough for a Thursday thread, if no one posts anything better i'll add some fake juicy details later, perhaps involving pampas grass :) GA, thanks. That would be great. The idea of looking after my LO's for an entire afternoon all by myself is mind-numbing. But I do think you need to lay some ground rules -- ie, he must contact you daily or risk finding an empty house on his return :) It has taken me a few years to get my husband to phone me twice a day when he is away. At the beggiging it was awful because he did not contact me at all, but after asking and asking now he does it. He also comes back with nice pictures of his trips, but he has the right to enjoy himself!!!! If not it will be a torture! <em>edited by Nimonemo on 03/04/2011</em>

833

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EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:34

I'm sorry to hear that... would also be frustrated if DH didn't want to contact me and seemed to be having lots of fun. I'm not really sure what to suggest. Generally internet can be expensive in Hotels, but many companies don't mind that being charged to the account. All hotel rooms have a phone, and I know it's more expensive, but I'd hope that he thinks your worth spending the extra money on! Also I agree with DubaiCat there should be some way of contacting him in case of an emergency. I know what you mean about missing him, yet still doing your own thing.

596

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EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:31

May depend on who is paying for the calls if a husband phones once a day when away. For a wife to expect more than one call a day may be having high expectations and could be disappointed. Costs , costs , costs

2937

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 13:10

Mine got a row for not calling or texting all night when he was 'working' in London before Christmas. When I say 'working', I mean 'out on the London office Christmas night out'. Row entirely justified! He's normally good at keeping in touch and gets kicked into touch if he isn't. ETA: I think it's important for him to be contactable in case something's wrong with the wee man. I know he's busy but a quick call or text won't kill him - it's not about insecurity but wanting to know he's OK, and vice versa. <em>edited by DubaiCat on 31/03/2011</em>

1236

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 12:59

When my DH was working away back home before we came out to Doha, I didn't expect him to call as he was working. I don't feel the need to be constantly keeping in touch each day. To me that's a bit like tagging or insecurity? What about DHs in the armed forces? I think that these days, people have become too used to needing/expecting constant contact. I never called my DH at work unless it was an emergency and vice versa. We'd have thought there was a problem at home. When I go away to Africa doing voluntary work, it's often not possible to keep in touch at all which we both understand and can go weeks without speaking. We are a close loving couple and have just had our 34th wedding anniversary :)

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