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Single father looking for help with son

3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 14:06

My friend, a devoted father of a 10-year-old boy, is seeking help with care for his son. The mother has left this European family and returned to their home country. The boy is in the father's sole custody. The boy also has an 18-year-old brother who studies at a university in Dubai and is largely independent. The father has a demanding job that often involves longer working hours and on average 2 shorter trips abroad each month. He is not looking for a traditional nanny but rather for a genuine, kind and affectionate companion to the boy compensating for the mother's absence. He is seeking a mature, reliable and responsible, preferably Western, lady who would be willing to spend with his son several hours every week-day after school (approx. 15.30-18.30), before the father returns from work, and also take care of the boy during the father's occasional duty trips. Guidance and help with his homework would be much appreciated as well. For example, a housewife who would still like to take care of a younger kid in her free time or a retired lady living in the UAE with her children would be welcome. Thank you in advance for advising your interest or any suitable recommendation. Please email to [email protected] or call me on 056 9556376. Many thanks for your help!

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1

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 June 2018 - 16:15

Hi! Sorry to hear about what the child is going through. I am an educated girl with a decent Job in Mumbai. I love kids a lot. I wish I could be a friend and a care taker of the child. If it would have been Mumbai, I would have happily put efforts for making his life wonderful... But... I wish... :(

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 23 March 2014 - 11:04

That makes sense! Golly...brain needs a reboot this morning! :)

IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 23 March 2014 - 10:58

Can anyone confirm whether or not this position was filled. It is just the sort of thing I am looking for and I live nearby. TIA! Why not call the number on the post....

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 23 March 2014 - 10:52

Can anyone confirm whether or not this position was filled. It is just the sort of thing I am looking for and I live nearby. TIA!

3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 15:25

I W can you confirm your email for me please as sent you an email last night. Just want to confirm you have received it. Thanks Hi Maisie yes many thanks i received it and forwarded it straight to my friend - he is just on business travel at the moment. Thank you again, IW

8

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 13:13

I W can you confirm your email for me please as sent you an email last night. Just want to confirm you have received it. Thanks

8

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 13:11

What area does he live in? That information might prompt an interested person to come forward. Yes, thank you, he lives near Safa Park.

3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 January 2014 - 11:44

What area does he live in? That information might prompt an interested person to come forward. Yes, thank you, he lives near Safa Park.

1913

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 22:44

What area does he live in? That information might prompt an interested person to come forward.

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 21:59

I 'believe' that a widower or a divorced man with children can sponsor a maid/nanny. I 'believe' they can also bring a domestic from their home country if they can prove they are not a relative. If he is looking for a western person then he needs to look for a proper nanny that is trained. There are trained nannies here, if you ask in a separate thread they might reply. They are not maids.. He of course will pay alot more but his son will be much better taken care of I think. I would suggest he go and ask the question. There are quite a few western men here taking care of children either full time or part time and they are allowed nannies/maids. Did a search and I understand an agency called Simply Angelic has western nannys. Cannot tell you more than that :)...good luck to him. Hopefully he will find someone to fit the bill but, he will have to sponsor I am afraid.

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 21:52

I 'believe' that a widower or a divorced man with children can sponsor a maid/nanny. I 'believe' they can also bring a domestic from their home country if they can prove they are not a relative. If he is looking for a western person then he needs to look for a proper nanny that is trained. There are trained nannies here, if you ask in a separate thread they might reply. They are not maids.. He of course will pay alot more but his son will be much better taken care of I think. I would suggest he go and ask the question. There are quite a few western men here taking care of children either full time or part time and they are allowed nannies/maids.

504

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 20:44

I don't think Dubai is a good place for a single parent, comes with too many issues. A single woman though can sponsor a domestic help, single men can't. Your friend won't be able to hire anyone legally full-time, and as the other posters said, just having a lady come in for the times your friend is away, is illegal. The only option for him would be to have a part-time agency maid, but would you leave your child with an agency maid while traveling abroad? I'm going to have to differ with you on that, Maroosh, I definitely find it easier to manage as a single parent here than I would in the UK. It would be very, very difficult to get the support there that I have from my housekeeper here; apart from anything else, the design of the houses here helps. OK, it would be possible to be nearer family but (a) none of my family members live less than 3 hours drive from any other family member, (b) I could not do anything approaching my 'career' job and live anywhere near any of them, and (c) they all have their own lives; even my parents in their 70s are never at home. I do empathise a lot with his issue over the homework, though, that is starting to be an issue for us and I have not figured out what to do about it. Maybe we should create our own area-based single parents' (or working parents') network, and organise after school provision; the overnights etc could be then left to the maid who would be able to contact the other parents in the network in the event of anything arising. That has been the one part where I have had to rely on the friends I have been blessed with here; my housekeeper is amazing but if it were to come to a medical decision, I don't want her taking it, I know some of the random medical ideas she has!

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 18:21

And with dad traveling on occasion you want someone who is capable of handling situations should they arise. I'd go for a nanny from his home country if money is not a problem :) That's what I'd go for too. As another poster said, there is also holidays to contend with. Not to mention sick days/rain days/any other days. What on paper is 'several hours every week-day after school' and 'occasional duty trips' is in reality going to be a lot more, sometimes with very short or no notice. That's without going in to legalities of it all.

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:53

This was because OP emphasized that homework help was a big issue for the father - so it was not the straight forward childcare/babysitting problem. I am not sure that the average maid is going to be of much help with homework supervision for a child headed to secondary school soon edited by Puffinlunde on 13/01/2014 Good point Puffinlunde. edited by Daza on 13/01/2014 And with dad traveling on occasion you want someone who is capable of handling situations should they arise. I'd go for a nanny from his home country if money is not a problem :)

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:48

This was because OP emphasized that homework help was a big issue for the father - so it was not the straight forward childcare/babysitting problem. I am not sure that the average maid is going to be of much help with homework supervision for a child headed to secondary school soon edited by Puffinlunde on 13/01/2014 Good point Puffinlunde. <em>edited by Daza on 13/01/2014</em>

Puffinlunde34121

384

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:42

If BubblingCreek is correct (and she probably is ;) ) and sponsoring someone is not an issue then surely he is in the same boat as any single working mother, of which there are a few here. When they have asked for advice on EW I don't recall anyone suggesting boarding school - although I might just have missed that :D This was because OP emphasized that homework help was a big issue for the father - so it was not the straight forward childcare/babysitting problem. I am not sure that the average maid is going to be of much help with homework supervision for a child headed to secondary school soon <em>edited by Puffinlunde on 13/01/2014</em>

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:15

I too think he can sponsor a maid/nanny. Perhaps he could also have a tutor or a retired lady come in the afternoons. It may not be strictly legal but surely they could come to some arrangement. Who is to know she's not an old family friend keeping an eye on the boy? How do schools get around hiring substitute teachers? They can't be sponsoring those people as it wouldn't make economic sense so those teachers too are working illegally, strictly speaking. The other option would be a properly trained nanny from the Uk which might be a lot more expensive. She could live out except when the dad is travelling. Many young adults/older teens have had to step in and look after their younger siblings so it's not expecting too much of the older son to pitch in too when the dad is away. With so many men walking away from their children, we should appreciate what this man is trying to do with his son. Perhaps in a couple of months or so, he could find another job which would offer more flexibility or less travelling. For now, it's great he has a good income to finance the help he needs in raising his son. I agree good on him for trying to maintain a home for his son. On the topic of substitutes; these are in general women on husband visa where the husband gives NOC for her to work. Is not the same as working for someone in their home looking after a child. I think hiring someone permanently will mean she most likely comes with a reference, which I think would be safer as she will be caring for a child. In case he hires a proper nanny from his home country, which I assume has stricter regulations.

1811

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:05

I too think he can sponsor a maid/nanny. Perhaps he could also have a tutor or a retired lady come in the afternoons. It may not be strictly legal but surely they could come to some arrangement. Who is to know she's not an old family friend keeping an eye on the boy? How do schools get around hiring substitute teachers? They can't be sponsoring those people as it wouldn't make economic sense so those teachers too are working illegally, strictly speaking. The other option would be a properly trained nanny from the Uk which might be a lot more expensive. She could live out except when the dad is travelling. Many young adults/older teens have had to step in and look after their younger siblings so it's not expecting too much of the older son to pitch in too when the dad is away. With so many men walking away from their children, we should appreciate what this man is trying to do with his son. Perhaps in a couple of months or so, he could find another job which would offer more flexibility or less travelling. For now, it's great he has a good income to finance the help he needs in raising his son.

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:01

I don't think Dubai is a good place for a single parent, comes with too many issues. A single woman though can sponsor a domestic help, single men can't. Your friend won't be able to hire anyone legally full-time, and as the other posters said, just having a lady come in for the times your friend is away, is illegal. The only option for him would be to have a part-time agency maid, but would you leave your child with an agency maid while traveling abroad? He can sponsor a maid and a nanny. He cant because he doesnt have a wife.. single men ( men living on their own ) cant sponsor a maid. He can because he is with child. I know of 2 men who sponsor maids and one has a British nanny. I wasn't aware of that. At least that gives him options. But to have someone to live with his son while he's away, to do home work with him etc, basically taking on a mother role, would mean he would have to hire someone qualified. And that's not your average maid. You will be leaving your child in her care in the (long) absence of a parent.

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 17:00

If BubblingCreek is correct (and she probably is ;) ) and sponsoring someone is not an issue then surely he is in the same boat as any single working mother, of which there are a few here. When they have asked for advice on EW I don't recall anyone suggesting boarding school - although I might just have missed that :D ETA: Hit add message by accident. It does sound like his only viable option is to hire a live in, the best he can afford. If there were such a fairy godmother type like he seems to be looking for I reckon the single mums would have her snapped up years in advance... <em>edited by Daza on 13/01/2014</em>

Puffinlunde34121

384

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 16:47

I think it would be hard to find what he is looking for in terms of a housewife spending time at his house - not to mention the illegalities of paying somone who is not sponsored/employed through an agency. I would feel nervous about working/staying over in another man's home given where we are living - too risky The best options might be to consider - sponsoring a western governess to help with homework - but more expensive than a maid - sending the son to boarding school if the father cannot be at home

BubblingCreek81744

336

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 16:32

I don't think Dubai is a good place for a single parent, comes with too many issues. A single woman though can sponsor a domestic help, single men can't. Your friend won't be able to hire anyone legally full-time, and as the other posters said, just having a lady come in for the times your friend is away, is illegal. The only option for him would be to have a part-time agency maid, but would you leave your child with an agency maid while traveling abroad? He can sponsor a maid and a nanny. He cant because he doesnt have a wife.. single men ( men living on their own ) cant sponsor a maid. He can because he is with child. I know of 2 men who sponsor maids and one has a British nanny.

548

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 16:25

Assuming finances are not an issue, and that your friend can find the right person for this role they could get them a different visa if they own a business or have a friend who does, for instance as an executive assistant, this is very common. I am saying this in case a nanny/maid visa is not possible. But as others have said it's hard to find someone to fit that role, best case scenario would have been a family member or family friend. As an alternative, would your friend consider putting the child in a boarding school?

2192

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 16:24

I don't think Dubai is a good place for a single parent, comes with too many issues. A single woman though can sponsor a domestic help, single men can't. Your friend won't be able to hire anyone legally full-time, and as the other posters said, just having a lady come in for the times your friend is away, is illegal. The only option for him would be to have a part-time agency maid, but would you leave your child with an agency maid while traveling abroad? He can sponsor a maid and a nanny. He cant because he doesnt have a wife.. single men ( men living on their own ) cant sponsor a maid.

BubblingCreek81744

336

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 16:18

I don't think Dubai is a good place for a single parent, comes with too many issues. A single woman though can sponsor a domestic help, single men can't. Your friend won't be able to hire anyone legally full-time, and as the other posters said, just having a lady come in for the times your friend is away, is illegal. The only option for him would be to have a part-time agency maid, but would you leave your child with an agency maid while traveling abroad? He can sponsor a maid and a nanny.

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 16:04

I don't think Dubai is a good place for a single parent, comes with too many issues. A single woman though can sponsor a domestic help, single men can't. Your friend won't be able to hire anyone legally full-time, and as the other posters said, just having a lady come in for the times your friend is away, is illegal. The only option for him would be to have a part-time agency maid, but would you leave your child with an agency maid while traveling abroad?

858

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 15:29

Hi both, thanks for replying so quickly, no of course this is not asked to be free of charge, of course this would be all paid for. This one is not about the finances, I would just need some guidance into where to look and if you had any advice or know anyone. As said, maybe a housewife who would still like to take care of a younger kid in her free time or a retired lady living in the UAE with her children and would welcome some extra income. Thank you again! IW Therein lies your problem... he would have to sponsor them because as far as I am aware (and I may be wrong, often am!) it would be illegal for him to just pay them for their time. Would he expect them to leave their own family to go and live in his house when he was away or would he expect them to take the boy with them to their house? To me, "free time" is an hour here or there to help out, not a commitment to 3 hours every single day and several days a couple of times a month. What happens in school holidays, would the lady be expected to be there for 8 weeks or whatever it is, full time for the summer holidays...? All things to consider. I honestly think a full time sponsored person is the only way, but I, like TDB would not want to leave my 10 year old son in the care of what is basically a maid, even if the 18 year old lives in the same house - he is also not a carer. What would happen if she decided to asbscond as the Father left the tarmac on a several-day business trip? Very tricky I'm afraid! :(

3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 15:16

Hi both, thanks for replying so quickly, no of course this is not asked to be free of charge, of course this would be all paid for. This one is not about the finances, I would just need some guidance into where to look and if you had any advice or know anyone. As said, maybe a housewife who would still like to take care of a younger kid in her free time or a retired lady living in the UAE with her children and would welcome some extra income. Thank you again! IW

858

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 14:57

Hi IW, At the risk of sounding horrible, but only wanting to be practical - I'm not really sure how this would work. Is this gentleman wanting free childcare and tutoring? If so, I'm not sure there is anyone generous enough to give up three hours everyday and quite a few days when he is away, out of the goodness of their hearts, that's a lot of commitment for no compensation. Would he want this woman to sleep at his house whilst he goes away? What will the ladies own family do whilst she is away being someone else's Mother twice a month for a few days? Also 15.30 until 18.30 is tea time for a lot of families. If he is planning on paying her, then he would need to sponsor her otherwise it is illegal... would it not just be better for him to go for sponsoring full-time, live in help and then keep interviewing until he finds the kind of person he wants... Hopefully someone may be able to point you in the right direction, or even give you other pointers for him to consider. Good luck, I think it's a difficult one!

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