8 Things Your Doula Wants You To Know
Your doula is your pregnancy companion and truly wants what’s best for you and your baby
24 October 2018
A doula is there for any physical support as well as emotional support to pregnant mums and mums-to-be
Any woman who has given birth to a little one can tell you that it’s no easy walk in the park – bringing a baby into the world is one of the toughest thing a woman has to do.
Which is why pregnant mums need all the extra support and the right kind of support too!
And having an experienced doula by a pregnant mums’ side is a game changer!
A doula is an angel in the form of a pregnancy companion, who is there to relieve you of any stress, pain and emotional changes throughout your pregnancy.
She can offer emotional and physical support to a woman and her partner before they welcome their little one into the world.
You can think of as a kind-natured individual who is impartial to your pregnancy and just wants to help you through it. Your doula won't add any expectations from you and will always support your own wishes towards the bigger picture - having your little one.
Some moms shy away from asking their doula questions in fear of being judged and regarded as an “unfit mother,” however, there is no such thing as a wrong question between you and your doula.
And there’s no such thing as judgement between you either – she is here to support you and you can choose additional prenatal and postpartum workshops imparted by doulas where the doula can offer information about the journey
With that being said, here are 8 things your doula wants you to know.
1. Learn as much as you can
It’s very important to educate yourself while you’re pregnant because the more you know, the more it’ll help!
Your doula will always be there to guide you in finding reliable sources of information in whatever form you want - they'll help you differentiate between good advice and myths that are not beneficial for pregnant mums.
She will happily give you advice but only when you ask them for it. Your doula will stay neutral and will ensure their own beliefs are not imposed over yours.
support you during and after your pregnancy but it’ll also make a huge difference if you research on topics for pre and post-natal care.
This way you can start asking your doula key questions that you’d like some elaboration on.
2. Trust your jaja
Your in-house guest, jaja, may be preoccupied with having a little neighbour at the moment, but you should always listen to your body – if you feel like something’s wrong, then mention it to your doula.
And it's very important to understand that your doula does not provide medical advice and if the situation worsens, she'll advice that you consult with multiple doctors until you're satisfied with the answers.
A doula will be there for you whenever you want them to but it’s also important to know when to react for the safety of yourself and your baby.
3. Not everyone is the same
Stop comparing your pregnancy to that of your friends! No two pregnancies are alike so remember that this journey is your very own adventure – and take pride in that.
Pregnant women will always share their own experiences and advice, but the best thing to do is to talk to your doula about whatever is going on with your pregnancy. She’ll be able to give you the expertise advice that you’ll cherish.
4. Doulas will never judge you
If you’re worried that your doula will judge you on your questions or actions, then you’re wrong – doulas are there to support you and your birth experience.
And there is nothing that they haven’t seen or heard from expecting mums, so don’t worry about behaving a certain way (given that it’s safe) – doulas are there to ensure your pregnancy is a safe and joyful one!
5. Ask as many questions
Ask, ask and ask some more because no question regarding your pregnancy is too trivial for your doula!
They’ve heard it all and have been through the same experience with many women before, so don’t worry about asking too many questions or about the nature of them.
Doula will answer you to the best of their abilities and make sure you feel powerful and confident with every decision you make and every question you ask.
6. Your body is not failing you
Just because you choose to have a birthing plan one way and have it go another – aka c-section – does not mean that your body is failing you.
Some pregnancies tend to escalate quite quickly and can be difficult for a natural birth.
Therefore, to ensure the safety of yourself and your little one, sometimes a caesarean section is crucially needed and your doula can be there for you and walk you through it.
7. Your labour will take its time
Your pregnancy is a truly life-changing experience and will take as much time as it deems required – especially for first pregnancies, which can have more labour time than a second or third.
And your doula will constantly remind you of this – your pregnant body will operate on its own timer, so all you can do is to sit back and try to relax.
It’s also important to keep hydrated during your labour as it may get things running back in timely order.
8. Take all the time YOU need
A message from your doula to you: YOU DID IT! Yes, that’s right….now you can sit back and relax because the toughest part is done.
Just kidding, your time to shine as a new mum has come! So take a moment to reflect on your precious pregnant moments and put your parenting gears in check because a little one needs your care now.
Take as much time as you need to get to know your baby and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
And your doula is always open to sharing tips and tricks on how to bond with your baby during and after pregnancy and to better manage the postpartum period - but only when YOU solicite the advice from her.
Think of your doula as the training wheels you'll need as guidance on this wonderful experience.