In the light of what happened (bus incident) | ExpatWoman.com
 

In the light of what happened (bus incident)

158
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 22:55
Im just back from JBR where my DD has music and Im afraid we were complacent with our weekly routine of dropping and fetching her in the garage underground-near steps to the promenade. Due to traffic at that time- the easiest way to get close to the school is to go into the underground where I park and wait for her- within sight of the stairs. This evening she was followed by a man from the door of the school -2 steps behind her and speeding up as she did. She ducked into Caribou instead of heading for the garage so she could call me- the clever girl- and bought a hot chocolate to act as a weapon in case her follower appeared when she couldnt get through to me and thought she would have to leave the shop to find me. She is fine- just angry and looking for somewhere to go for self defense. Does anyone know where to go? I guess Im going to have to escort her up and down to her classes in future.Cant be too careful. She told me a friend living there was followed right into her apartment lobby but had the presence of mind to hang back and force her follower to sign in to a fake address and take the elevator before appealing to the security- who escorted her up to her flat while his partner waited for the man to re-appear.:) scary.. !! but does anyone know of any such classes that kids could learn self defense.. and perhaps mums too!!
213
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 22:33
I think I've already told this story 3 or 4 times on here but here goes again. My son's friend was nearly assaulted by a Pakistani gardener in Springs about 2 years ago. He asked her( a 5 years old girl) if she would like to stroke his p*nis. She screamed and the maid came running over while he jumped on his bike and rode off. You have to be so careful here. You can't trust your kids with anyone.
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 22:16
Im just back from JBR where my DD has music and Im afraid we were complacent with our weekly routine of dropping and fetching her in the garage underground-near steps to the promenade. Due to traffic at that time- the easiest way to get close to the school is to go into the underground where I park and wait for her- within sight of the stairs. This evening she was followed by a man from the door of the school -2 steps behind her and speeding up as she did. She ducked into Caribou instead of heading for the garage so she could call me- the clever girl- and bought a hot chocolate to act as a weapon in case her follower appeared when she couldnt get through to me and thought she would have to leave the shop to find me. She is fine- just angry and looking for somewhere to go for self defense. Does anyone know where to go? I guess Im going to have to escort her up and down to her classes in future.Cant be too careful. She told me a friend living there was followed right into her apartment lobby but had the presence of mind to hang back and force her follower to sign in to a fake address and take the elevator before appealing to the security- who escorted her up to her flat while his partner waited for the man to re-appear.:)
158
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 21:54
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, but to not trust anyone outside of their family. I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... Surely schools don't allow such jewellery until 6th Form anyway. ..I thought we could all share some ideas to arm our children with in every situation, not just at school.. :)
1759
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 21:42
I thought that the stranger danger bit had been pretty much debunked (not that it doesn't happen but it is relatively rare). From what I have read, most child sexual abuse is by relatives/friends/people known to the chiled (which makes it even more frightening IMHO)
140
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 21:25
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, but to not trust anyone outside of their family. I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... Surely schools don't allow such jewellery until 6th Form anyway.
158
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 21:15
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, [b'>but to not trust anyone outside of their family.[/b'> I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... Sorry to say, but you can't always trust family either... A lot of abuse that goes on is by a known member of the family. I would say that a child should know from as young as possible that no-one (apart from say a doctor, and accompanied by a family member in a clinic situation etc) has the right to touch their private parts and they should be comfortable enough to tell you if someone does or even tries to, even if the perpetrator has threatened them or their family or said that mum/dad won't believe them / that something bad will happen if they do tell and that if someone says 'you're special, it will be our little secret', they should also tell you. so i guess tip no 1 : tell them ' no one has the right to touch their private parts and they should be comfortable enough to tell you if someone does or even tries to, even if the perpetrator has threatened them or their family or said that mum/dad won't believe them / that something bad will happen if they do tell and that if someone says 'you're special, it will be our little secret', they should also tell you' tip 2: tell them to bite real hard, if someone tries something funny tip 3: get them to learn some kind of martial arts anymore? <em>edited by scarlett78 on 18/01/2011</em>
70
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:21
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, [b'>but to not trust anyone outside of their family.[/b'> I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... Sorry to say, but you can't always trust family either... A lot of abuse that goes on is by a known member of the family. I would say that a child should know from as young as possible that no-one (apart from say a doctor, and accompanied by a family member in a clinic situation etc) has the right to touch their private parts and they should be comfortable enough to tell you if someone does or even tries to, even if the perpetrator has threatened them or their family or said that mum/dad won't believe them / that something bad will happen if they do tell and that if someone says 'you're special, it will be our little secret', they should also tell you. I totally agree with you. Sorry, when I say family-I am talking mom and dad. Thats it. I know its hard to imagine a family member doing something terrible to a child, but it does happen.
858
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:16
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, [b'>but to not trust anyone outside of their family.[/b'> I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... Sorry to say, but you can't always trust family either... A lot of abuse that goes on is by a known member of the family. I would say that a child should know from as young as possible that no-one (apart from say a doctor, and accompanied by a family member in a clinic situation etc) has the right to touch their private parts and they should be comfortable enough to tell you if someone does or even tries to, even if the perpetrator has threatened them or their family or said that mum/dad won't believe them / that something bad will happen if they do tell and that if someone says 'you're special, it will be our little secret', they should also tell you.
2322
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:13
Best starting point is to insure the bus your children is on meets your rigourous standards. Who is the driver? Is he/she vetted? Employed by the school or a company? Qualified and how? Is there a female class room assistant on board? Whats the procedure for drop off/pick up? Are the children handed over into your care and vis versa? Whats the procedure for monitoring who is on the bus/who gets to class and back again? Is it fail safe ? Is there a backup? At what point to alarm bells go off with the school if the child is not in class? Are there proper safety belts, can your childs seat/booster be employed correctly in the bus? Can you speak to other parents whos children use the service? and that was just what I started with....
70
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:13
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, but to not trust anyone outside of their family. I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... thats sucha gr8 point DDougherty, never thought of it!! makes so much sense.. Thanks! ;) I try to be helpful sometimes :)
158
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:07
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, but to not trust anyone outside of their family. I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc... thats sucha gr8 point DDougherty, never thought of it!! makes so much sense..
232
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:03
I think martial arts classes are great for teaching kids discipline, confidence and keeping them fit. But I don't think it's not going to help young children much to defend themselves against a determined adult predator unfortunately.
70
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:00
I think its best to encourage children to use their instincts. And I hate to say it, but to not trust anyone outside of their family. I know it sounds paranoid...but better to be safe and paranoid than sorry. Also, I have seen a lot of girls, wearing necklaces in arabic or english spelling their name. This is such a bad idea. Any stranger can come up to them and say "hi xxxx, your mom sent me to pick you up and give you a ride home. her car broke down" or whatever story they make up. Those name plate necklaces are an easy way for stranger to start talking to you kid or insist that they have met before...etc...
5400
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:59
What's the thing about "stranger danger"? Does it work? But in any case, this case demonstrates that it is mostly people who are within a child's circle who abuse, not actual "strangers", as two of the three men accused had worked for the same school/company for seven and more years.. I don't understand why there are no responsible adult females on these school buses.
158
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:55
..any advice/ tips on how to train our kids to not trust strangers.. how do we speak to the kids so that they dont get overly paranoid but are sensible enough to recognise danger..? do you think karate classes would help? I am shocked/worried/ and a wee bit paranoid about sending my children in the school bus or anywhere alone for that matter.. :(
 
 

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