Imagining the future. Grocery shopping with 2 under 2? Vacationing with a baby and toddler? And other questions...

Hi Novice, Having two kids is not always a bed of roses. Mine are 2 yrs, 8 months apart, but that brings difficulty trying to entertain the older one. If you are able to I would suggest that you consider putting your eldest in nursery for a few mornings a week (before your baby is born so the baby is not the reason) to give you some time with the baby, sleep when the baby sleeps or go to the Mums & Bubs coffee morning. I wasn't able to do this and feel a bit sad that I haven't had the 1:1 time with my youngest and the opportunity to meet other mums and bubs (just children my DD1 age and their mums). Shop when your DH can stay with the children and buy in bulk. Food shopping with two is hard (IMO) and exhausting. Don't expect to get cleaning done, so consider some help. As the little one gets older the interaction between my two is just adorable and makes it all worthwhile:)

Gong on vacation will be a challenge, plus finding hotels that can allow us all to[b'> stay in 1 room[/b'>. Nooo. I hadn't even thought of that! Arrgh, the end of cheeky weekends away [u'>[/u'>for years[u'>[/u'> <em>edited by mover and a sheikha on 29/06/2011</em>

Anyone who has more than two LOs is either a saint or a madman! or a drunken hussy! ;-)

We did have to change the way we travel after we had our children. Before we would stay at reasonable priced hotel but not over the top as we would only be there to sleep literally. Now we go all out. It is way better. Near the sea, it's always sea view, so hubby and I don't feel as if we are missing anything when the kids are napping or falling asleep for the night. Room service is essential for those candlelit dinners on the balcony while the kids sleep. I don't visit the most trendiest bars or spend hours in a restaurant having dinner anymore, but I'm enjoying my family holidays much more than before. I usually try to modify day trips to meet my family's needs. First two or three visit of the tour then taxi back to hotel. But all in all, I'm more rested after a family vacation now than when we didn't have kids. and remember, your kids will be more relaxed as well.

This has put the fear of god into me. My third is due in 6 months, 14 months behind my second. My eldest is 5 and was out of a buggy etc by 2 so we've been independent for a long time and are now headed towards babyville central.... I have a 3 year old DD and 1 year DS and we can manage the grocery shopping pretty well. I put DS in the trolley and he loves watching DD pushing the baby trolley. Baby #3 arrives in a couple of months, now that's going to be a little tricky. I'll either leave it to the weekend so hubby can watch the kids or do it when he comes home from work. Or hire a maid :) I think it's pretty manageable. Gong on vacation will be a challenge, plus finding hotels that can allow us all to stay in 1 room.

This has put the fear of god into me. My third is due in 6 months, 14 months behind my second. My eldest is 5 and was out of a buggy etc by 2 so we've been independent for a long time and are now headed towards babyville central.... Anyone who has more than two LOs is either a saint or a madman!

I am still in denial and trying not to think about all the practicalities you've mentioned. Every now and again I have a moment where I think it might just be OK, and I might be able to cope, then I go back to sheer panic and fear. Hence why I am still in denial at almost five months pregnant.

It's doable - even without a maid [shock horror'> The great thing is that after surviving taking both shopping, you'll wonder why you ever thought that only taking one was hard... and will think it a huge break/ walk in the park when you do only have one! lol Mine are 21 months apart, by the way and I don't have home help. There are several things that I found that helped no end: - make peace with the fact that your life will be non-stop and at various levels of semi-controlled chaos. Allow for flexibility, don't get het up if it doesn't go to plan and don't worry if #2 is just tagging along. - crack a routine that suits you and stick by it, for me, mealtimes and bedtime were set in stone, everything else was flexible... but bedtime especially was completely non-negotiable! Then, once they're in bed, RELAX and have "you time". The ironing can wait... pretty much until the next wash! lol - get your eldest adjusted to any changes before the birth... ideally by a couple of months before the birth. - when bubs is born, don't be afraid to let #1 play with them (under supervision). Maybe record "Get off him/her!", "Stop that now!" and "Don't pull/poke his/her head!" to be played on loop for the foreseeable future! - when feeding your newborn, don't exclude your toddler. I found it to be quite a difficult moment because #1 would invariably decide she wanted attention, right when I was least able to give her a big cuddle, so instead, I would sit her next to me and devote all my attention to her, whilst still feeding #2. - Be open and answer any questions they may have about you giving birth, feeding bubs or bubs him/herself. #1 will be very curious and I think a key thing to diffuse the potential jealousy is to make sure they feel important, loved, included and informed about the whole kaboodle. Holidays are fine. To be honest, the toddler/newborn combo is quite easy in comparison to toddler/ mobile baby (nightmare)... and then it gets easier when you get to pre-schooler/ toddler. You'll be fine! Plus, an extra bonus is that you'll get a nice toned figure relatively quickly - lugging two little'uns around will burn the baby weight off like nobody's business! edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 28/06/2011 Agree with all HAK said, except the losing weight bit :P My 2 are 21months apart. DS just turned 25months and DD is 4months. The first 6 weeks were a bit crazy.. trying to schedule my sleep was the biggest problem as DD needed to be fed thru the night and DS would be up and ready to run early in the morning. Now, DH and I have days where I can sleep in a bit.. Dont be sad.. its actually nice also.. the older one will feel all special cos he can help out.. make him get the diapers, choose clothes for baby, etc. Thats wat I do with mine. DD is his little doll.. altho yea, sometimes DD gets a pinch also. If your DS sleeps with you, i suggest u wean him to his own bed soon.. 4 in a family bed is tight. If you can get a postnatal doula or any help atleast for the first 6 weeks for your body to recover from delivery and to help out, do so. U dont have to leave your DS with them, but atleast u can relax a bit. Now the DD is 4months, we go out.. a lot actually. And in Doha too. Dont worry too much,, its not good for you, your unborn or ur ds. Travelling is alright.. u jsut get to push the stroller a lot. The second child is easie cos u know all the tricks. We went travelled when DD was 2months old. It was alright. Of course, being spontaneous may not work.. but its fun. Everything will be fine.. yea u lose a bit of sleep inititally, but u will find your own routine what works for you.. and another 3-4yrs and it will be running to school routine. :) Oh and congrats on your pregnancy! :)

Like TillyK says having your first is most definitely the hardest transition, I waited 3 years from my first DS to get pregnant with DD, and now they are 3.5 years apart in age and in many ways I wonder why I didn't do it sooner. I was just so scared it would be as hard as I found it the first time, but it so isn't. Firstly you're a pro by now, so the baby will be easier as you are more confident in parenting, secondly the first always entertains the second born - even if they don't intend to! I remember stress filled car journeys when I tried to pacify DS, now we both just start singing the wheels on the bus top volume - everyone's happy! For supermarket shopping one in the carrier, one in the trolley, and as the second born gets older, put them in the trolley seat and the sibling just sitting in the trolley - again they amuse each other. Oh and at the minute DD tags along in the carrier or buggy for everything DS does, she often really enjoys whatever it may be. She was out at the park watching him play football by 10 days old!

This has put the fear of god into me. My third is due in 6 months, 14 months behind my second. My eldest is 5 and was out of a buggy etc by 2 so we've been independent for a long time and are now headed towards babyville central....

It's doable - even without a maid [shock horror'> The great thing is that after surviving taking both shopping, you'll wonder why you ever thought that only taking one was hard... and will think it a huge break/ walk in the park when you do only have one! lol Mine are 21 months apart, by the way and I don't have home help. There are several things that I found that helped no end: - make peace with the fact that your life will be non-stop and at various levels of semi-controlled chaos. Allow for flexibility, don't get het up if it doesn't go to plan and don't worry if #2 is just tagging along. - crack a routine that suits you and stick by it, for me, mealtimes and bedtime were set in stone, everything else was flexible... but bedtime especially was completely non-negotiable! Then, once they're in bed, RELAX and have "you time". The ironing can wait... pretty much until the next wash! lol - get your eldest adjusted to any changes before the birth... ideally by a couple of months before the birth. - when bubs is born, don't be afraid to let #1 play with them (under supervision). Maybe record "Get off him/her!", "Stop that now!" and "Don't pull/poke his/her head!" to be played on loop for the foreseeable future! - when feeding your newborn, don't exclude your toddler. I found it to be quite a difficult moment because #1 would invariably decide she wanted attention, right when I was least able to give her a big cuddle, so instead, I would sit her next to me and devote all my attention to her, whilst still feeding #2. - Be open and answer any questions they may have about you giving birth, feeding bubs or bubs him/herself. #1 will be very curious and I think a key thing to diffuse the potential jealousy is to make sure they feel important, loved, included and informed about the whole kaboodle. Holidays are fine. To be honest, the toddler/newborn combo is quite easy in comparison to toddler/ mobile baby (nightmare)... and then it gets easier when you get to pre-schooler/ toddler. You'll be fine! Plus, an extra bonus is that you'll get a nice toned figure relatively quickly - lugging two little'uns around will burn the baby weight off like nobody's business! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 28/06/2011</em>

Relax, breath and it will all be ok :D I promise!!! My eldest are 18 months apart and yes, it's difficult, but it's always do-able! DH will have to help more A sling is fab for grocery shopping - one in the trolley, one on you :) Holidays... you'll get there! We ended up with two travel cots!

Don't worry, it will be easy for you. My first two are 20 months apart and I had all the same fears as you do now, but when DD no2 was born I just found it easy. Having tha first was the hardest as my life just changed so much but once the second was born I was used to the sleepless nights and all the other changes that happen when you have a baby. I now have a 3rd one and don't have a maid/nanny or any kind of help. I don't know how but we just seem to manage. There will be days that are hard but you're doing the best thing having them close. I didn't have my first two here so shopping wasn't a problem as the supermarket trolleys had a baby seat and toddler seat so they were both in the trolley. I don't know if they have the same ones here if not maybe a baby sling/carrier would be a good Idea for the first few months. That way you can still hold your DSs hand and things will be similar to when you only had him. Same with music classes etc.. baby can be in car seat or pram while the class is going on. Don't worry too much, some things will be different as to how they are now but you'll all just adjust. And your DS will have a brother or sister that he'll be able to play with soon :) Treavelling with 2 kids is ok, 3 is harder!! when they are young you need to get hotel rooms that fit 3 and also a travel cot. A buggy board is excellent for days out, in a few months your DS will be old enough to stand on a buggy board and he'll love it.