Maid Issue | ExpatWoman.com
 

Maid Issue

40
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 08:35

Ihave had my philipino maid for two years, she has been good but over the last 3 months as got really lazy and switched off only hears what she wants to hear, i work mornings only so she is not that stretched and my three kids are at school, i have recently to tell her off a few times for things like going into my daughters internet account to use her facebook when i am not there as the kids said she is always on teh laptop! saying she did not want to go home this summer and then a big sad story how she changed her mind! etc etc

The final crunch was last night she called my almost 10 year old daughter fat and kept saying it and laughing my husband and I were in the room and both shocked but tried not to make a bid deal in from of my dd so when she left the room I said to the maid dont ever say that again!! as my daughter is not fat!
I feel she is only there now as we have sponsored her and pay her well for 5 days! but i dont feel comfortable and she is almost in the way when i am there!!!! we leave next week for the summer - 5 weeks and so does she I kinda wish she was not coming back the only thing is i will have to go back into work when i come back and its the "better the devil you know" but if i have this feeling should I just let her go!!!!

172
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:44
Anyone have a link to the article in gulf news? As to OP, I would get rid of her and use a pt agency until you leave. If she knows you are getting rid of her in December anyway, she has no incentive to do a good job for you. Also, some have just reached their expiration date after 2 years. I have friends who never renew contracts after 2 years anyway, cause they think the ladies get too familiar after this time and get lazy thinking they have become somehow part of the family.
471
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:33
I am not defending your maid and whatever she said to your daughter is unforgivable, especially at her age. However, it seems that this comment is quite popular for them and they say this to everyone bigger than themselves. There are a couple of very interesting threads on EW debating about this fact. I was just about to say the same. It's a cultural thing and not meant in any way to be insulting, just a figure of speech. You are wrong. Some people of that nationality often try to put others down by calling them fat or claiming that their English is the best. [b'>(Gulf News had many raging comments from Filipinos recently on how they are not recognized for being the best workers in the UAE and the best speakers of English)[/b'> There have been many accounts of normal ladies being called fat by them just because they are not 5 foot tall and 40 kg. And i have no doubt the comment was not a cultural misunderstanding. There is a blog called DubaiSally written my a maid or someone pretending to be a maid. Reagrdless of who the writer is, many times the maid claims she does things spitefully but her employers think its just a mistake. ...I read it too. Only in Dubai they can be considered 'the best workers'.
993
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EW GURU
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:27
I am not defending your maid and whatever she said to your daughter is unforgivable, especially at her age. However, it seems that this comment is quite popular for them and they say this to everyone bigger than themselves. There are a couple of very interesting threads on EW debating about this fact. I was just about to say the same. It's a cultural thing and not meant in any way to be insulting, just a figure of speech. You are wrong. Some people of that nationality often try to put others down by calling them fat or claiming that their English is the best. (Gulf News had many raging comments from Filipinos recently on how they are not recognized for being the best workers in the UAE and the best speakers of English) There have been many accounts of normal ladies being called fat by them just because they are not 5 foot tall and 40 kg. And i have no doubt the comment was not a cultural misunderstanding. There is a blog called DubaiSally written my a maid or someone pretending to be a maid. Reagrdless of who the writer is, many times the maid claims she does things spitefully but her employers think its just a mistake.
425
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:34
I don't understand very well, does she come with you for holidays or does she goes back to her place ? What I understand from your post, it that you will most probably get rid of her in December, so 4 months after she comes back from holidays, and you're doing so because it's more convenient : she knows already everything, you don't have to train her, etc... After she comes back from holidays, you can have a talk with her and be very strict, block the laptop access (you can put password t when the laptop shitch on, so nobody can access to the whole laptop, unless he knows the password), be sure she stays as less as possible in the way of your children, etc... That can be manageable, and will ask you a lot of energy. My own experience, and therefore my advice : let her go now. I figured out that my maids (the several I had during my several years in Dubai) allowed themselves a lot with the kids, and you certainly don't know most of what she does. Most chance is that your kids complain from what really bother them a lot and know it's unacceptable, but a lot goes without even been told. I still have some stories from my children, even more than a year after not having any maid at home. It is small things that are not so important, yet explain some attitudes of my children some times. And telling a 10yo girl she's fat is unacceptable and, IMO, a very big deal. She really crossed the line here, and in front of you ! I mean, I wouldn't even tell that to the daughter of my closest friend, even if it's a fact ! Find an agency maid, it's easy to find, she doesn't have to come everyday if you are here in the afternoons for the kids. It's only for 4 months.
1046
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:26
I am not defending your maid and whatever she said to your daughter is unforgivable, especially at her age. However, it seems that this comment is quite popular for them and they say this to everyone bigger than themselves. There are a couple of very interesting threads on EW debating about this fact. I was just about to say the same. It's a cultural thing and not meant in any way to be insulting, just a figure of speech.
557
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:22
Absolutely shocking. If you don't tell her to go your daughter might perceive it as "my mom doesn't care".
223
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:19
I am not defending your maid and whatever she said to your daughter is unforgivable, especially at her age. However, it seems that this comment is quite popular for them and they say this to everyone bigger than themselves. There are a couple of very interesting threads on EW debating about this fact.
255
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:02
There would be no doubt I would let her go. If that's what she said to your daughter while you were in the room, who knows what she says when you are not. You can probably hobble along with an agency maid until you know for sure if you're staying or going.
2383
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:01
Do you need her to look after the children at all during the day ? If you do, and there is a possibility you will leave by Christmas, I think I would keep her but you would need to put her in no doubt as to what you expect. If, on the other hand, she only looks after the house, I would be inclined to ask her to go and use agency maids until you leave. Does she have much time remaining on her visa ? If it has only just been renewed you would be wasting a lot of money if you cancel it now and would then also have to pay for agency maids. Not a nice decision to have to make but she is behaving in a very disrespectful manner and taking advantage of you.
624
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 08:58
I think you'd have to use an agency, but I guess that would work out expensive. You wouldn't necessarily have to have someone every day though. However, if you can afford it, I would have thought that was better than leaving someone in your home that you no longer trust.
40
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 08:46
yes you are right and i know this also the only thing is we will def get rid of her if we are staying on in dubai possibility of a move by xmas ...how would i find someone short term??
1579
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 08:45
I have never had a maid but I do have a daughter. Send her home before you go on holiday. Suffering with a less than perfect agency maid when you return is better than retaining the lady you have. Good Luck.
1029
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 08:41
Finky, you know you have to let her go. Don't draw it out. Telling a young girl that she is fat is beyond shocking. Protect your daughter from her stupidity and send her packing. Out with the old, in with the new.
 
 

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