cancer has hit my family | ExpatWoman.com
 

cancer has hit my family

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EW GURU
Latest post on 22 March 2011 - 17:01
Darling3, I know what your going through. I find it hard to speak to anyone except by brother and sisters. My mum can't even speak to me about it. My father was diagnosed with colon cancer last Summer. He had an operation and we were told he was in remission. It didn't last long. At the beginning of January this year his symptoms were back. He is undergoing chemo and radiotherapy as we speak. No matter how hard I try I can't think positively cause my dad has had enough. I have good days and bad days. I'm just counting the days til I can get on that plane to see him. I feel guilty cause I didn't go home at Christmas when he was still in remission. xxx
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EW GURU
Latest post on 22 March 2011 - 14:37
Darling3, sorry to hear the news :( when you first receive them it is always a shock ... not easy... I am afraid I cannot help answer your question but I hope the below helps a bit: My sister was operated from breast cancer at the beginning of the month and is due for first chemo session end of the month. When she first broke the news to the rest of us in the family, we felt like we’d been hit by a train as we had no history of cancer in the family. Now I am embarrassed at how the rest of us reacted, as she was nothing but utter inspiration to all of us - her energy, determination and positivity have been mind boggling. Do not let this happen to you; the person suffering with cancer is the one that needs to be surrounded by positivity and reassurance! Do lots of research on it, read on success stories, NEVER ever let them see you cry and always make sure they know how much you love them. I am in no way an expert, but if you feel you just want to talk to someone, do let me know.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 13:48
I hv just found out my aunt is at Stage 4 and been told has 4-6mths to live. *sigh* i don't know what to say and how am I going to face her when I return home this spring break. My very good friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer last year...and is effectively in remission. It's very rare to do so, but it is possible. I can't stress the power of determination, positivity, love and fearlessness...and what it did for my friend. Here is her blog if you are interested: http://www.wunderglo.com
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 13:39
The american hospital has a cancer unit. Perhaps you could call them and see if there is anyone there who would be able to give you contact numbers of some support here. I don't know of any as have not had to deal with this over here - we had lots of support in the UK but I'm sure there are groups here that may well be able to help you. Thinking of you at what must be a really hard time for you and I hope you can find the support you need and are looking for.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 13:17
Sending my best wishes and prayers to u darling3.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 07:33
Darling3 you haven't had many replies in terms of support networks. See mine and ttf posts for some numbers, however: None of us know what stage (you or) your family members are at......but please do keep us updated as there's always someone on this forum that can help - and when there's an understanding of the type of cancer, people can genuinely give advice. I for one promise NOT to talk about other people's cancer (sorry mum!) SENDING [b'>YOU(rs) [/b'>POSITIVE ENERGY (What I'm trying to say is - lets not us Expatbeatches go : My Mum / My Dad / My Cousins Neighbours Black and Ginger Hamster said...." We can do that later when darling knows the score ) <em>edited by ShellyMcD on 19/03/2011</em>
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EW GURU
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 07:02
Wishing you all the strength and support that you need. Its a tough physical, mental and emotional battle for anyone it involves. MIL is now cancer free after finding out she had kidney cancer a few months ago. My dad has been cancer free for a year... he had cancer of the esophagus. With him they removed the whole portion and reattached it. My mom lost her battle after 6 months 4.5 years ago from stage four pancreatic cancer. She passed away six weeks after my wedding. If you can try to keep in contact with your family. My sister basically denied my mom's suffering and never concerned herself with my dad's and for 4.5 years has hardly spoken to any of us.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 06:18
Wishing all of you strength while going through this. My dad is still batteling, he has been diagnosed with oral cancer last year, he had an 12 hour operation and could not eat or drink for a while, they had to rebuild his mouth, after the wounds healed the first scan showed cancer again at a different spot in the mouth. He started with chemo and radiation he only has 5 sessions left but is very tough on his body, so hoping and praying he will be cancer free after this. The hardest for me is not being there everyday to support him. All of you going through this with your famiies, I know it is a long and difficult road but the ones with cancer are usually stronger than we think. <em>edited by jessica_dt on 19/03/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 04:31
Darling 3 are you ok? It's very important that you are looking after yourself - if you're there on the forum please shout out. It's horribly difficult for us relatives,but I know what it's like. I'm sure you're more than aware that people [b'>survive [/b'>cancer and people die from cancer. Whatever the outcome - much of the burden throughout the lengthy process is on the family in practical, impractical and emotional ways - but it's worked for us - and I left my home country at the height of my Mum's diagnosis (at her request and with her blessing). Please don't feel the need to conform to anyone's way of dealing with this... ETA: Please always look to the positive - both you and your relatives - it's essential x x x I really hope you're ok Missus. And I re-iterate Macmillan Nurses and me :-) edited by ShellyMcD on 19/03/2011 ETA again - I really feel the need to write this again, and I hope not giving false hope....but my Mum really was supposed to cark - but she ended up getting all sorts of new treatment at her and our insistence. She was only 57 and was picked (after the NHS telling us she had Chrones for a year) because she's "nails" (to the Brits!) I'd been offered a job over here, which of course I declined...but no....Mum wanted me to come.... and she's now well enough incredibly - (whole medical dissertations written about her op) - to tell me - "Stay where you are! I love you!" Awww......my amazing ma x xx <em>edited by ShellyMcD on 19/03/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:58
I'm sorry, Darling3, I hope you find support too. Got waylaid a bit there.. Agreed. So sorry for digressing your thread x
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:43
I'm sorry, Darling3, I hope you find support too. Got waylaid a bit there..
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:40
thanks to those who replied. surely, I will make extra time and effort this time spending time than before when I was visiting. erghh...i am angry at what's happening to her but nothing compared to what she is feeling everyday since the day she diagnosed. Apologies tipatertipu for not replying sooner but I hope you can be with your dear aunt as much as you can be. My thoughts and prayers are with your aunt and you. Be strong xxxx
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:39
Thanks, TashaB, will call again tomorrow and send flowers. He lived his life as a lonely man and cut off many people, including his siblings. I'm glad we knew him, he was a pleasure to be with. I'm remembering my own father, who died alone (in St Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, when the doctors had sent us home) 21 years ago on 2nd April. OK, time for bed now, too sad. Yep sad times. Been here crying my eyes out thinking maybe selfishly about my loss. Any token no matter how small be it flowers, a telephone call to family may help so much. Love and prayers to you xxxxx Not selfish. She's important to you, you love her. Keep crying. If you can, see her to say goodbye (in your head, if you think out loud will upset her). I hope you get there in time and I hope she doesn't suffer.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:36
Thanks, TashaB, will call again tomorrow and send flowers. He lived his life as a lonely man and cut off many people, including his siblings. I'm glad we knew him, he was a pleasure to be with. I'm remembering my own father, who died alone (in St Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, when the doctors had sent us home) 21 years ago on 2nd April. OK, time for bed now, too sad. Yep sad times. Been here crying my eyes out thinking maybe selfishly about my loss. Any token no matter how small be it flowers, a telephone call to family may help so much. Love and prayers to you xxxxx
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:33
thanks to those who replied. surely, I will make extra time and effort this time spending time than before when I was visiting. erghh...i am angry at what's happening to her but nothing compared to what she is feeling everyday since the day she diagnosed. The main thing is for her not to suffer. Dying alone and in pain is not to be borne. But I'm sure you and her family will make sure she is well treated.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:29
thanks to those who replied. surely, I will make extra time and effort this time spending time than before when I was visiting. erghh...i am angry at what's happening to her but nothing compared to what she is feeling everyday since the day she diagnosed.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:25
Thanks, TashaB, will call again tomorrow and send flowers. He lived his life as a lonely man and cut off many people, including his siblings. I'm glad we knew him, he was a pleasure to be with. I'm remembering my own father, who died alone (in St Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, when the doctors had sent us home) 22 years ago on 2nd April. OK, time for bed now, too sad. <em>edited by simpleasabc on 19/03/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:19
simpleasabc Thanks All I will say is don't regret anything that you didn't do. Hugs to you and your cousin. I'm no expert in this but if he is terminal, hard as it may be for you, and if you can and I appreciate that he may not be aware now but if he is able to speak or hear you at any time, grab that chance simpleasabc xxxxxxx Love and hugs to you and your family xxxxxxx
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:12
TashaB {{{{Hugs}}}}
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 00:05
Hi tipahtertipu My heart goes out to you and it is a difficult situation. My dear gran albeit in the later years of her life was nearing the end of her days but nobody could say anything to her as all her life, she had been afraid of death. However, when I found out she was nearing the end of her days, I flew back home but unfortunately never made it in time. If I had got to her, I still think now of what I would have said and that would have been how much I loved her and wouldn't forget how she had brought me up when my parents were struggling and that it was time to go to sleep peacefully. In the end, it was my mum and aunts who told her this as there was no way I was gonna see her in time according to the doctor. I missed her by 30 minutes. But hey, she was an elderly lady very much loved but at least she had had a good life. I just wish I could have had that chance to say goodbye to her. Grab the chance
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 18 March 2011 - 23:01
I hv just found out my aunt is at Stage 4 and been told has 4-6mths to live. *sigh* i don't know what to say and how am I going to face her when I return home this spring break. Let her know you love her. Hug her. Talk to her. Say goodbye if she lets you. tricky situations. since we are overseas here, I've been told that her children decided not to tell her abt her time to live for various reason. Thank you, I will remember what you've advise and shall talk about our good times. Having said that, GOD is gracious and only HIM knows. I do hope you get home in time to say goodbye in your own way, without upsetting her or her children. It's a ghastly situation. Sometimes, people want to know so they can tidy things up, and sometimes, they want to pretend it's all OK and go gently without bothering anyone else. My thoughts are with you. I have a second cousin who is terminal at the moment, he has no close family and is in a hospice. I wish we could say good-bye properly as he was a lovely influence in my life and we will miss him, but making a trip specially isn't really on. You're making me think, though. I should go. ETA: Thank you for the timely reminder, I have rung to give our love. He is resting but unable to speak. <em>edited by simpleasabc on 18/03/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 March 2011 - 22:53
I hv just found out my aunt is at Stage 4 and been told has 4-6mths to live. *sigh* i don't know what to say and how am I going to face her when I return home this spring break. Let her know you love her. Hug her. Talk to her. Say goodbye if she lets you. tricky situations. since we are overseas here, I've been told that her children decided not to tell her abt her time to live for various reason. Thank you, I will remember what you've advise and shall talk about our good times. Having said that, GOD is gracious and only HIM knows.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 18 March 2011 - 22:49
I hv just found out my aunt is at Stage 4 and been told has 4-6mths to live. *sigh* i don't know what to say and how am I going to face her when I return home this spring break. Let her know you love her. Hug her. Talk to her. Say goodbye if she lets you.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 March 2011 - 22:47
I hv just found out my aunt is at Stage 4 and been told has 4-6mths to live. *sigh* i don't know what to say and how am I going to face her when I return home this spring break.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 March 2011 - 22:27
sending hugs xx my sister is a rectum cancer survivor - diagnosed and treated last year
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 March 2011 - 22:23
sending lots of love your way x - our Step father was diagnosed with throat cancer in October 09 he is a survivor and we cherish every day x
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 17 March 2011 - 23:23
Sorry to hear that-- I don't know of any personally but have found: Friends of Cancer Patients This organisation focuses on raising awareness on cancer through seminars, conferences, literature, and educational program. The organisation also comprises of various volunteers that allow them to implement various programmes and activities. P. O. Box 611610 Sharjah, United Arab Emirates. Tel: +971 (6) 5065555, +971 (6) 5065542 Fax: +971 (6) 5065502 E-Mail: [email protected] Support Hotlines We know that it is often difficult to speak to someone during treatment or after recovery, and some would rather remain anonymous during these sensitive times. As a result, hotlines have been created to help women – and men – cope through any changes they are facing: Breast Awareness Hotline + 971 4 345 4000 Breast Cancer Support Group + 971 4 309 6553 C.A.R.E. Cancer Awareness for Residents of the Emirates T: 04 3341144 Friends of Cancer Patients Organisation focuses on raising awareness on cancer through seminars, conferences, literature and educational programmes. Email: [email protected] T: 06 506 5555 / 06 506 5542
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 March 2011 - 23:16
Sending you wishes. There is Friends of Cancer Patients in Sharjah Tel : +971 (6) 5065555, +971 (6) 5065542 E-Mail : [email protected] Or you may find the fabulous Macmillian Nurses' site a help: http://community.macmillan.org.uk/groups/help__guides/forum/default.aspx My Mum is a bowel cancer survivor - if you ever need an ear, drop me a line.....shelly _ stamford @ hotmail dotcom Most importantly - look after yourself too x
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 March 2011 - 22:40
ARe there any support groups here for people living with loved ones with cancer?
 
 

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