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Should men ALWAYS pick up the bill?

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Freckles 128127

787

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:16

then ask him why he does not let you pick up the tab. I have - he says...next time next time and when next time comes he says the same thing! He once also said since when do girls pay? :s A truly chivalrous gentleman I like!

248

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:16

then ask him why he does not let you pick up the tab. I have - he says...next time next time and when next time comes he says the same thing! He once also said since when do girls pay? :s

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:14

then ask him why he does not let you pick up the tab.

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:12

Boyfriend of one year :)

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:11

Is he your partner or your boyfriend ?

248

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:10

I think many of us have grown up in different countries and households which is where the clash in opinions come in. Well done and congrats for the proposal but unless your OH is a bit of a cheapie I strongly doubt him dumping his ex had anything to do with him picking up the bill and more to do with you being a great person :)

407

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:05

That's exactly it! My friends AND family were shocked when I asked them this very question! They were like why on earth would you even offer? You offer first time only and if he rejects the idea then there is not much you can do but say thank you for dinner Either your friends are not being completely honest with you...or there's some of us living in a different century. I can imagine joking with girlfriends and telling them " hey why bother if he's paying ;)" but its just that a light conversation.

407

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:02

Btw - abby you do realise how you come across, don't you? Please try and see what majority of the women are telling you. My OH has insisted and paid bills for his ex-gf's, I told him he can forget his traditional ways with me, I wasn't having it.....and who is it that he proposed to :). These days I don't care as for me its the same pool that its eventually going from and he actually ends up paying more often now that we are comitted, having said that I do make it a point that some dates are my invites. This set-up where men pay for all bills these days is usuallly in relationships which are more let's say short-term geared or very traditionalistic families where the couple are meeting before their arranged marriage takes place! ETA - Even if short-term geared I think most of us self-respecting women would rather not 'owe' anything. <em>edited by summerdream on 10/01/2011</em>

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 17:01

I met my DH in 1975, days after he returned from Dubai having worked there for about 3 years. (yep, he was a pioneer if you like !!) He had loadsa dosh and he paid for our first few dates. When we got engaged, we put a deposit down on our first house and it was then we had to watch the pennies. I insisted that our nights out were paid for turn about. Suppose I was a bit of a bra burner back then LOL!! It certainly was traditional for men to pay for everything as women did (and to an extent still don't) earn as much as men. My mother never paid for a night out with my dad and she was horrified at me when I said that we shared the cost of meals out etc. Most of my peers did the same. We do, as a married couple have a joint account but we both have separate accounts as well for other purposes. That's exactly it! My friends AND family were shocked when I asked them this very question! They were like why on earth would you even offer? You offer first time only and if he rejects the idea then there is not much you can do but say thank you for dinner

1236

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:54

I met my DH in 1975, days after he returned from Dubai having worked there for about 3 years. (yep, he was a pioneer if you like !!) He had loadsa dosh and he paid for our first few dates. When we got engaged, we put a deposit down on our first house and it was then we had to watch the pennies. I insisted that our nights out were paid for turn about. Suppose I was a bit of a bra burner back then LOL!! It certainly was traditional for men to pay for everything as women did (and to an extent still don't) earn as much as men. My mother never paid for a night out with my dad and she was horrified at me when I said that we shared the cost of meals out etc. Most of my peers did the same. We do, as a married couple have a joint account but we both have separate accounts as well for other purposes.

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:49

my husband was one of those dates that would get very excited if I picked up the bill. Until I stopped working, i paid if I had the money and he paid if he did. , If neither of had cash we used the joint cc lol. anyway, do know some men that insist on paying for everything, much to their dates/partners chagrineo, it might be 2011 but not everyone is on board. If her friend insists on paying so be it. If she is comfortable with that, so be it as well. If she feels the need to ask him why he will not let her pay, so be it. She did just ask a question. abbyboot, on here, when someone calls someone else an endearing name ie, honey, sweetie, it usually is said in a sarcastic way and meant to be condesending. FIY :) Oh reallyyyy? I had no idea!! I genuinely mean them as terms of endearment..woops! Thank you for clearing that up! :) xx

2262

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:47

my husband was one of those dates that would get very excited if I picked up the bill. Until I stopped working, i paid if I had the money and he paid if he did. , If neither of had cash we used the joint cc lol. anyway, do know some men that insist on paying for everything, much to their dates/partners chagrineo, it might be 2011 but not everyone is on board. If her friend insists on paying so be it. If she is comfortable with that, so be it as well. If she feels the need to ask him why he will not let her pay, so be it. She did just ask a question. abbyboot, on here, when someone calls someone else an endearing name ie, honey, sweetie, it usually is said in a sarcastic way and meant to be condesending. FIY :)

248

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:40

Honey It is generally thought more polite to refer to a poster by their username or an abbreviation (eg. for me it would be CT) rather than a term of endearment or similar. Meow meow indeed...

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:39

Just pay him back in kind...I'm sure he will be more than happy with that ;) Will do ;) mwah! xxx

Freckles 128127

787

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:37

Just pay him back in kind...I'm sure he will be more than happy with that ;)

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:37

abbyboot, is he very wealthy or just an average guy? I think you should treat him sometimes but maybe if he doesn't want you to pay why not cook him a great dinner with nice wines at your expense. Sounds like he is very happy paying for everything otherwise he wouldn't be spending time with you. [b'>You got it good!![/b'> and cheap.... lol

248

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:36

abbyboot, is he very wealthy or just an average guy? I think you should treat him sometimes but maybe if he doesn't want you to pay why not cook him a great dinner with nice wines at your expense. Sounds like he is very happy paying for everything otherwise he wouldn't be spending time with you. You got it good!! Thanks lizzi - For the understanding and kind answer I will treat him to a lot more! Thanks sweetheart :) xx

53

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:22

abbyboot, is he very wealthy or just an average guy? I think you should treat him sometimes but maybe if he doesn't want you to pay why not cook him a great dinner with nice wines at your expense. Sounds like he is very happy paying for everything otherwise he wouldn't be spending time with you. You got it good!!

spongemonkey980

4329

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:19

WOW - that line has been said quite a lot here lol I find it interesting how you women think and please bear in mind we aren't married so it's not like money is both ours but it is awkward if the girl pays! I have tried asking if I could before and I have received weird looks! what is this "you women" ? Are you a man then?

829

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EW GURU

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:19

Honey I asked the question because I want to know if I should change and start contributing.... Yes, you should. For whatever reason. I can give you a few. Good Manners Self Respect It being 2011 and this is how the world works now. Equality amongst you given that you both earn money. Not taking advantage of his generous nature Maintaining some 'power' in the relationship. Don't ask the question if you don't like the answer.

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:16

I was under the impression this was an Expat forum not an English class sweety so I can address my fellow expats with words of endearment - They aren't rude. meow...

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:13

Honey It is generally thought more polite to refer to a poster by their username or an abbreviation (eg. for me it would be CT) rather than a term of endearment or similar. I was under the impression this was an Expat forum not an English class sweety so I can address my fellow expats with words of endearment - They aren't rude.

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:11

WOW - that line has been said quite a lot here lol I find it interesting how you women think and please bear in mind we aren't married so it's not like money is both ours but it is awkward if the girl pays! I have tried asking if I could before and I have received weird looks!

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:11

Honey It is generally thought more polite to refer to a poster by their username or an abbreviation (eg. for me it would be CT) rather than a term of endearment or similar.

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:09

And it's not bad mannered honey! It's just about custom - it's well known that the man pays - it's a world wide norm almost! Checking my calendar again.....................nope still 2011.

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:08

Honey I asked the question because I want to know if I should change and start contributing....

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:08

And it's not bad mannered honey! It's just about custom - it's well known that the man pays - it's a world wide norm almost!

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:07

abbyboot I am interested why you asked the question initially.

248

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 16:04

His respect for me would increase? I don't think respect has anything to do with it!

829

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 10 January 2011 - 15:58

hahahahahahaaha like I said I have offered in the past and he says no and quite frankly I can't be bothered to go through the whole "no It's on me, let me pay! Ok at least let's split it!" I just smile and he pays it's much simpler that way! I'll bet you could be bothered if it was the other way around though..... Come on, you know that it's bad manners to take advantage of his generosity like this. You only need to have the conversation once and then the ground rules are set. You never know, secretly his respect for you may increase.

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