Fast losing control. Need some serious help

Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like you are the one who is trained to recognise the signs she needs the potty, not her! Until she can take herself to the potty it is just another stress for you to be watching her like a hawk so I would also be inclined to give that a miss for the moment, especially as she is resisting. Sounds like you have enough to be dealing with with the lack of sleep etc. I successfully did Dr Furber method of controlled crying, it worked like magic literally less than an hour and they learned to go to sleep alone so thoroughly recommend. If you can manage to re-establish good sleep habits now, the benefits would travel with you when you move without the need to suffer until then. Good luck, all things shall pass!

Don't keep her up just so DH can see her, DS is always asleep when DH gets home, they have their quality time in the morning and weekends. I used to keep him up but realized it wasn't healthy, lack of sleep is like lack of food. yes, absolutely agree. Plus there's absolutely no joy if that extra hour or whatever is full of screams and means a ratty child during the day.

Don't keep her up just so DH can see her, DS is always asleep when DH gets home, they have their quality time in the morning and weekends. I used to keep him up but realized it wasn't healthy, lack of sleep is like lack of food.

You said she takes 2 naps a day for how long? My son who is also 16 months takes only 1 nap in the afternoon (wakes up at 8). He's been on 1 nap since he turned 1.

You said in another recent thread that she had been ill recently and wasn't eating any solids. Sounds like she is just off her game at the moment and perhaps it's all related - the sleeping, feeding, tantrums.. Teeth can hurt for many weeks before they push through so this could all still be due to teething even though they're nowhere to be seen yet. What happens when she wakes up at night? Is she hungry / thirsty / in need of a cuddle? Go back to sleep quickly or is it an extended process? Is your DD on a routine with fixed mealtimes, naptimes, bedtime etc? If not that may help her get back on to of her eating & sleeping habits again, which may help with the tantrums & nighttime sleeping as well? And if she is already on a routine perhaps it is time to experiment with some changes? Haha I am no expert, just fumbling along myself, my DS used to be a terrible sleeper, waking up every hour at night, and now he is a great sleeper, but refuses to eat ANYTHING other than apples and tomatoes. It seems that for us mums the next challenge is never far away ;) I seem to remember that our babies were due around the same time so am stunned that you even own a potty already, I am just struggling to get my DS to allow me to change his nappy. Oh and my little guy definitely doesn't listen to me 90% or even 60% of the time so in my eyes you and your DD are doing VERY well!

Sigh! * watching thread closely and taking notes* K, Mine was a terrible sleeper too till I started following Dr. Weissbluth's routines ( GOD!! ;)). He recommends one nap at A's age. So maybe phase out the morning nap and only keep the afternoon one. I will lend you the book of you like. My take is that she is a very very smart cookie and is mentally far ahead of her body! So maybe its the fact that she's mentally ready to walk and move around but physically can't? ( maybe nonsense, if so ignore!) She also as a LOT of energy (!!) so maybe lots of activities, classes, play dates etc? Do you find that if she's spent an hour or 2 playing with other kids and at a play area, does she sleep better? ( hugs!) Let me know if you need any help pls! <em>edited by ashc on 19/06/2011</em>

You know, she knew I was mad at her this moring after all the drama and so she started hugging me and making goo goo eyes at me. I think I am in very big trouble and in over my head with this kid. Ah, the manipulator! Tough to raise, but the good news is that it is apparently the best personality type for success in life! One thing my mom taught me is to give my kids *two* choices. Like HAK said, you can say "do you want to have a bath or do you want to go to bed? Or "do you want me to give you a bath or would you rather daddy do it?" "Do you want the broccoli or the peas?" Any more choices than that and they get confused, but nearly always with two, they will pick one of the choices and be happy with it since they chose it!

I agree with Guinness - from experience, the earlier you start potty training, the longer the process is, and they all pretty much end up potty trained (completely) at 3 years old, so don't beat yourself up about a regression. I started DD at 21 months and it took 16 months for her to be independently toilet-trained - she's very bright and knew exactly what she needed to do, right from the start, but wouldn't... or rather, had to go through the process of deciding for herself to do it, and not just coerced by me (or anyone else). /sigh. For DS, I'm going to leave it until he asks me to pass him some loo paper! As a mum to a very, very strong-willed daughter (who started the full-blown 45 minute tantrums at 13 months old), my advice is to pick your battles. They desperately need/ want to be independent, and it's not up to us to control them, but to channel them, setting them appropriate boundaries but also letting them learn - often the hard way. Life is about compromise, and the sooner they learn that, the better. The case of the bath, for example - unless she's filthy, suggest the compromise of just doing her body and not her hair, or using a wet flannel instead of the normal full-on bath. Compromising isn't giving in to her demands - it's finding a middle-ground where everyone is happy. Tiredness and hunger play a huge part in their overall mood... as does your mood. I know that on days where I'm slightly less than the epitome of patience and tranquillity, Her Ladyship knows and will push me that little bit further. Lastly, and this is something that took me literally 2 years of spectacular tantrums to work out - when they say "just ignore her", yes, you should... but you should ignore the tantrum/ behaviour and not the child. Tantrums are always the expression of something that's upsetting/ troubling them. Yes, it may be motivated by something completely loony and aggravated by sheer stubbornness, but it's essentially the frustration of you not understanding what they're trying to say. Show that you understand what they wanted to communicate early on before they've lost control and you will almost certainly avoid the screaming.

First of all, 16 months is really young to be potty training. I know we moms are all competitive and want our kids to be first off the block (especially those of us who had big careers and our children now are our careers!) but your daughter will let you know when she is ready. And sometimes, it is a back and forth - potty trained for a while and then not and then again and then not. Second, it sounds like your dd is entering the terrible twos early. Congratulations! That means your daughter is mature for her age :) Up to a certain age, babies are quiet pliable - sit on the potty, take baths as required, do what their told - and then they try to assert their independence. That's probably what your dd is doing - I wouldn't fight it. She doesn't want a bath? Won't kill her to be dirty (besides they say its better for baby's skin to not be washed every day!) Third, make sure your dd isn't getting overtired - easy to do when it's hot out, since the heat makes them more tired. Try moving her bedtime a little earlier, make her have a longer nap, stretch out the reading time so it starts earlier, etc. Because overtired babies actually wake up more often. Good luck! It usually only lasts a year :)

I have no advice - we're not at that age yet - but I so hope you manage to get something sorted. It's awful feeling like you're losing control and don't know what to do to stop it :(.

It could be the not sleeping well at night is affecting her mood by day, maybe she has grown out of her current daytime nap routine? or it could just be the start of the terrible twos :(